Monday, October 31, 2016

Lay Down Your Arms -- It's A Peace Accord. Join Us At the Maginot line...

I was expecting my father to rip me a new asshole for all I spent tonight. I spent $82 and he didn't flinch, thankfully. His kindness was shining through the darkness once again. Yet, for one more time!

"Everybody bowls a gutter ball sometimes," my father told me in consolation as Horsefly will often say.

He was patting me on the shoulder as we walked across the parking lot and he said it.

I had to have my V-8 vegetable juice tonight for my sodium filled vegetables for the week. That was $6.00 right there, I also bought 4 canisters of Mrs. Grissom's delicious salads. I got the gourmet buffalo chicken salad spread, two of the gourmet pimento cheese spreads, and some gourmet chicken salad. That was $20 just for those items there. It certainly adds up in a moments notice if you are not careful..

Once again they didn't have my Kroger brand frosted flakes to accompany my whole milk so I had to buy name brand which was considerably more expensive. They also didn't have my Edwards lemon meringue pie. I improvised and substituted it with an Edwards key lime pie of which only one was left. These pies must go like hotcakes at our Kroger.

Sleep On Sleeping Man!

The Awakening of Yawny...

I didn't mean to sleep past noon. I feel as half my day is gone and wasted. Maggie? She loved the arrangement. I woke up to her asleep down at my feet. It is incredibly amazing the phone didn't ring in all that time.

I fixed me a large piece of cheese danish and ate it in the den with a large glass of milk for breakfast. I am just like my father who loves sweets for breakfast lately. I did really well with my groceries this week and they lasted until grocery day.

Kinda Greasy...

The Nashville Hot chicken last night was certainly very interesting. I was expecting my chicken to be more tangy like Southern BBQ. I was surprised about how greasy it was and the sauce was too sweet to boot for these tastes. Not at all what I was expecting. Like a hungry beggar, I ate all of it, though. I got the three chicken strips meal.

Gone for the Good...

I was thinking today about all the good blogs I used to read which are now defunct. One of the most controversial of these being The Homeless Guy which I read over 16 years.  I had been reading him since 2001. I rarely agreed with him, but it was always interesting to read his blog. He just stopped writing one day and that was the end --  the end of his blog. No goodbyes. No nothings.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Let's Wait For a Bit...

https://www.youtube.com
I am just sitting here on my computer looking out the window and waiting on Charlie and Papa to arrive and also wasting time. I requested some of that hot Nashville chicken to try tonight. I looks mighty tasty to this lover of hot seasoned food. The proof is in the pudding so to speak and I will let you all know how it tastes. What is the deal with the dill pickles?


Thank the Makers...

http://www.cluig.info/
Charlie has just taken leave of me. I was dead to the world this morning in the dark back bedroom asleep. Maggie woke me up barking very jubilantly. Let us be thankful for our good friends and their good camaraderie.

"Don't look at my hair," a vain Charlie said to me as he handed me our breakfast.

Poor Charlie about doesn't have any hair these days. We do this every Sunday.

"Well, mine looks worse after sleeping on it all night," I replied to him. "Why don't you try a Donald Trump style comb over?"

In my Sunday care package sack, there were three bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits and Charlie also brought me a giant ice less Coca-Cola -- the way I like my soda.

"Vote for Hilary!" Charlie exclaimed as he was leaving. "It will mean I have a job for another 4 to 8 years."

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Evoke the Auschwitz Mantra...

http://www.omahasteaks.com/
Now this is more how I like it. About medium well.
Pronto! I evoked the Auschwitz mantra big time tonight! It is like a five-alarm fire going on in here when it dawned me that it was happening. Some cheese with all that wine?

Ungrateful Little Lout!

We had filet mignons tonight for supper. I was going to complain about them being cooked way too rare, but that's nothing a frying pan and olive oil or peanut oil can rectify since I am home now with my meal.  Mom likes her filet to moo once again when it is plated. I makes my stomach do flip flops just thinking about it -- all that rare beef.

I am just damn glad to get what I got, though. Dad also remembered to bring my sodas and smokes which was very nice and very uncharacteristic of him. I didn't even have to ask. During all of this, the Auburn game was on the television and radio and he was trying his best to keep it all together and keep up with the game as well. Auburn was losing at half-time and all the fans were agitated including my father.



Oxford, Mississippi Bound? Guess Not...

I just called my father under the auspices that I was inquiring about whether he was going to the football game today. Auburn is playing Ole Miss yet once again for another year. I expected to catch him early and already on the road for an away game.

"I am sitting this one out," my father replied much to my deep disappointment. "I'd have to drive all day getting to and from the game. I am just going to watch the game on the television."

My mother is just going to love watching football all day (sarcasm).

"Your father turns the TV sound up so loud your ears start to ring," my mother told me last night. "Then he screams every time Auburn scores a touchdown."

"Ah drats!"  I selfishly thought to myself. Charlie would be bringing crazy meds and supper at a very early time -- around 4 PM if my father was driving to Mississippi. It would have made for a very nice, enjoyable, and comfortable afternoon. I could relax and let anxiety take a lunch break for a change.

Oh well, at least he won't get mired in traffic such an endeavor would entail. I'd worry about him all day as well. I have my faults, but I am not coldhearted.

What is that you say? Yes, let's go play more of Shining the Holy Ark!

Friday, October 28, 2016

Dinner Was Absolutely Delish!

http://www.salon.com/
My father did an about face and cooked chili tonight. He also cooked a small pan of cornbread for me as well. I just slathered one piece of cornbread with butter. Boy, did that hit the spot after a few seconds in the microwave.

Now, Martha, in her heyday, could make the best tasting cornbread you could ever eat and I am not exaggerating. The crust was extra crunchy and the insides were smooth as silk and creamy. Most recipes for cornbread are to dry for my tastes.

Back to the Parental Parlays...

"Your mother is being pushy and bossy tonight," my father told me with a sneer. "She told me that I shouldn't keep you waiting so long for your medications."

Well, mom had a very good and valid point. It can be 10 PM sometimes when my father arrives. All my father is doing is watching last week's Auburn game for the tenth time. 4th Quarter ends and here he comes.

"Is she having a big hair day?" I then asked laughing.

"Of course," my father replied. "Her appointment at the hair salon was 2 PM."

We moved on from the initial pleasantries and vagaries of life to tasks that needed to be done for my mental wellness and Maggie's bottomless stomach. I complained to my father that these new generic Klonopin pills are very hard to swallow. They've changed the shape yet once again.

Must Be Friday...

http://allrecipes.com/
It must be Friday! TGIF! Not that it is relevant to me. I just enjoy the excitement and good camaraderie.

Cars are flying down Gilmer Avenue on their way home. Everybody is hurrying along their way like a mass exodus out of town.

I like to watch at night on the couch with Maggie as we both hope that the next car is going to be my father's Honda cresting the hill. If he is in his BMW, then it is easy to tell because of his HID (high intensity discharge) headlamps on that car. I call them starlight headlights.

Dad is going to be cooking supper tonight. I requested fried salmon croquettes, but my Pops said they would stink up the house. I love those things.

"Your mother wants fillet mignons," my father told me. "And she has about swayed me to her side. You can't have the salmon. The house would smell of fish for 3 or 4 days." Harrumph!

The Facebook Follies Begin Again...


OK folks ... I have been working to unify relativity and quantum mechanics into a single unified theory of life the universe and everything........ So far I have discovered that beer is good.

So, I am dabbling around with Facebook again. I got my account back up last night and running mostly out of curiosity and lots of loneliness. A lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same. It is good to see my sister-in-law and nieces and to hear about what they are doing. My brother and sister do not have any active Facebook accounts that I know of.

I also fear my good college roommate is up to his same old shenanigans mired in that mess we call politics. He's a big-time Trump supporter and loves a debate. It is kind of like a one legged man at an ass kicking contest. It is good seeing him doing so well, though. His teenage daughter is adorable and looks just like her mother.

My new goal about Facebook is to be as inconspicuous as I can be. I will read and listen and not write. That way I won't write any embarrassing details about my mental illness or life. That was the reason I left as I was talking about my mental illness and saying too much. I realized what I was doing and pulled the plug so to speak.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Damn that Key Disease! Damn you!

As a outspoken soothsayer and in my mother's camp, Charlie says we all literally drove my mother, Martha, aka the secretary, into madness as were always looking for and missing our keys -- things my mother just couldn't understand or contemplate. Mom's always had her ducks in a row regarding such important details in her life.

My brother, my sister, my father, and I all experience this aggravating affliction we affectionately call the key disease. I've learned to never keep my car key with my house key so losing one wouldn't be a show-stopping disaster.

Well, tonight my father thought he had lost his keys somewhere in my house he believed. We were having a nice, long, and congenial conversation when dad stood up to leave and his keys weren't in his pockets. We headed into the laundry room for Ms. Maggin's ritual.

"Son of a bitch." said my very aggravated and agitated father very crassly as we ran into a dead end in the laundry room.

"Let's look in your car one more time," I told my father in a positive tangent. "Let me get my flashlight."

There they were laying on the floorboard of his Honda driver's seat side. Dad sighed with relief and drove home not without thanking me profusely before he left.

They say that the amount of keys on your key ring is a good measure of how much responsibility you bear. I have three keys and my father has dozens. It speaks volumes.

One Of the Retro Games for the Week...

Gameplay[edit]

Gameplay is most similar to Shining in the Darkness; the player explores towns and dungeons in the first-person view, with battles almost exclusively taking place in dungeons. Battles take place in a turn-based format, maintaining the first-person view but also allowing the player to view allies as they take their actions. One unique mechanic is the "pixie" system, where the player can befriend pixies that will attack enemies as the party encounters them.

I just started this game late last night after I had finished Shining Wisdom. So far, things are interesting about this game and its great reputation that precedes it. Shining Wisdom was a great Zelda-like clone that I recommend as well if you are looking for a more action and adventure-centric game. 

Andrew and Maggie Dodge a Very Big Bullet...

Foremost, these Vet visits are extremely tumultuous and hard on my dearest Maggins. She will often release her bladder in my lap (I always have to carry a towel) and she shakes like a leaf. She will start to whine as soon as I get her in the car and it dawns on her what is about to happen.

Secondly, mom would have to drive us which would be terribly tumultuous for me or anybody as well. You can have quite a few "holy shit" moments with my mother driving. I always have white knuckles from grabbing the "oh shit!" bar above the window.

This morning, I was supposed to have Maggie at the veterinarian at 9 AM.  I averted disaster for Maggie, my mother, and I and told them I couldn't make it. Well, mom actually placed the call, but it was my decision. I am so hyper vigilant and worried that Maggie would escape us in a strange neighborhood and get in the highway down the road.

"So you want to skip it?" mom asked sounding very alert and awake.

Keep in mind that I wasn't trying to shirk responsibility.

"I just don't think I can go through all that today," I told my mother very honestly.

"We'll move it to next week," my mother, the secretary, told me over the phone sounding fully agreeable. "I am like you and would be devastated if something happened to Maggie."

Maggie still has a little bit of infection left in her left ear and she needs her nails clipped very badly again. I was hoping they would groom her as well.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

The Dark Silky Veil of Night Envelops Us This Evening...


Mom called me asked me if she could bring me my drinks and something to smoke.

"Oh no!" I said alarmed and sounding rushed. "You stay at y'all's house. I will be right over to get them."

Maggie ran out into the yard to help prepare and pave the way for my journey and the drive. She was barking up a storm. I know the Magster must wonder what I do on these little short trips.

I've been lax about procuring the drinks and smokes for the past few days and this worries my mother and bothers her obsessive compulsive tendencies. We had to nip that problem in the bud quickly, or my mother would be driving over to my house at dusk. The most dangerous time to drive.

Well hell, I am no better than my mother. I about can't see well enough at night to drive the short jaunt to my mother's house as well. The road going by the police station is terribly lit and needs new traffic lines and lanes painted.

The next few tips are provided by No Shit Sherlock, inc.

Avoid nighttime glare.
  1. Try not to look at oncoming headlights. ...
  2. Reduce glare by using the day-night feature on your rearview mirror (it's the little flipper tab beneath it).
  3. Keep your windshield squeaky clean and have plenty of windshield spray in the tank.

Night Driving | Esurance

https://www.esurance.com/info/car/driving-at-night

Good to the Last Drop...Or So the Label Says...

https://www.pinterest.com
In my mind's eye, I can picture my grandmother, Sally Lou, sitting at her kitchen table drinking her usual pot of morning coffee. She would then fix me some cheese eggs and bacon once I had woken up some. I never forget her homemade biscuits as well. My grandmother could prepare some biscuits and they were ready to come out of the oven in 10 minutes. She made it look so very easy! I can make a big mess trying to fix homemade biscuits these days.

Vestiges of the Old South...

El would stop by to eat breakfast as well. El was a tall gangling elderly man who always smelled very strongly of underarm odor. He called me baby as well. You could hear him walking up to the house with his wooden cane tapping on the driveway. The whole town had built him a small house and helped see about him. My grandmother's duty just was to give him a good start to his day. El couldn't sit at the kitchen table with us, though. He would sit on a stool in front of a corner kitchen counter. He also had his own mason jar to drink tea from and would also have his own plate and tableware. These would be washed thoroughly and put in their special place in the kitchen cabinet ready for El's next breakfast.

Morning Beckons...

I woke up this morning to the smell of coffee wafting in my bedroom from the kitchen. It reminded me of all the breakfasts my grandmother had served me over the years. I had set the timer on the coffee pot for 8:30 AM. My only lament it that coffee doesn't taste nearly as good as it smells. I load up my coffee with a dairy hazelnut coffee creamer to make it more palatable. My breakfast was toasted raisin bread smeared with peanut butter.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

How to use an emulator on your computer

Great Brain? He Just Couldn't Use It...

https://en.wikipedia.org
It is such a very good sign and feeling when that black Honda CR-V comes pulling up in front of my house. I always say the cavalry has arrived (Where is Custer when you need him?) or second shift for that matter. To Maggie, it is a return of one of her prestigious pack members named Papa or Gamma dog.

"How do you do, sir?" my father asked very formally as he stepped inside my home. "I am glad to be at this point in my day."

"Your house smells delicious," my father then added suddenly. "You must've had a Mexican meal tonight."

Dad wanted me to talk about mental illness and how it affected me over the years. Boy, did I have a tale to tell him.

"The only thing that made me feel any better was all that booze from John Barleycorn I drank for years," I told my father of the true most underlying cause to many of my troubles.

Hurry Up and Wait!

Dad always says that to fit in with the army you have to learn how to hurry up and wait. That is what I am doing tonight. That same routine. I am also sure he was scared of having to go to Vietnam and fight the Vietcong as well. He was just out of college and newly married to my mother when war broke out.

"Hurry up and wait" is a humorous phrase used to refer to the situation in which one is forced to hurry in order to complete a certain task, or arrive at a certain destination, by a specified time; only for nothing to happen at that time, often because other required tasks are still awaiting completion."

I've just arrived home from my parent's house. I was picking up my daily allotment of cigars and Cokes. I hurried home hoping I wouldn't miss my fathers arrival. If I wasn't home, then he would probably think the worst.

He Must Be Dead Somewhere...

The fajitas were extraordinarily good tonight. They are finally learning that fajitas must be cooked until they are properly done and not to use a mountain of onion in the process. Boy, my stomach in for a treat tonight in heartburn city. 

A Chuck Wagon that is Also Called a Honda Civic...

http://iowagirleats.com/
"Just what in the hell are you doing?" Charlie asked playfully when I answered the phone.

Thank bejeebus for caller I.D. that I got set up today. My mother was complaining to my father in that I never answer the phone.

"I am waiting on Mrs. Martha to bring my Mexican meal," I told him. "You know. Mom and Mrs. Sandra eat at the Mexican restaurant every Tuesday night. They've been doing that for years and years."

Maggie was standing next to the phone briskly wagging her tail. She wanted to know just what was going on this late in the day.

"What do you get at that restaurant?"

"I always get the chicken fajitas," I replied.

"You know I don't eat pizza, Chinese, or Mexican food," Charlie said stalwartly.

I chuckled at Charlie being so finicky. It reminded me of my brother. Charlie is a soul food kind of guy and that is how Janice, his wife, cooks. Turnip greens, hot sauce, and cornbread? Mrs. Janice has got your back.

"Where are you now?" I asked the Charles Meister.

"I am just passing through Lafayette and will be home in 30 minutes."

http://altonbrown.com/

Nosy Neighborhood Neighbors...

http://www.usaonrace.com/
Dad asked me last night what my neighbors had been doing lately. He would be just like the neighbor in the photo to the left.

"The neighbors across the street are selling their house after only living there for a few months," I told my father.

"Selling it so soon?" he asked incredulously. "That certainly is interesting."

"I found it almost unbelievable myself until they put a for sale sign in their front yard."

"I also call them the RV people or recreational vehicle people," I told my father. "Big boys with big toys like four wheelers, jet skis, boats, RVs, campers, and motorcycles."

"What about George?" dad then asked eagerly. "I am going to get that iPad back from him. I am going to tell him it was mine and not yours to give."

"Be my guest," I replied to my father. "I doubt he has used the iPad much anyway."

"What if he is looking at kiddie porn on your wireless connection?" my father asked worrisomely. "You would be the one who is liable."

Now, that is something I had never thought of! I am too trusting and naive some times. Leave it to my father to find the worst case scenario. I am going to change the wireless password on my wireless router in a moment.

"George is George," I then replied to my father. "The month he was gone didn't slow him down any. He stays on the road busily driving around in his van. Where he goes I never know. He was sitting on the porch early this morning in the cold and smoking a cigarette. He goes to the Waffle House every morning between 5 am and 6 am for breakfast. He says he likes the pork chop breakfast deal."

Monday, October 24, 2016

Play it Again, Sam!

https://www.thrillist.com
I won't elaborate too much (well, maybe a bit) because the journey was mostly a routine grocery trip. They had everything I wanted except they were out of frosted flakes both Kroger and Kellogg's. I sighed loudly and moved onto the next item on my list. I can be forgiving, ya know? One malfeasance is not going to kill me.

Jermaine was just around the corner in the cold cuts section and immediately asked me how "Alec" (my brother) was doing. I was hoping to dash by unscathed and unnoticed.

"They've settled in nicely into their  new home in Auburn," I replied to Jermaine as he ran over my toe with his hov-a-round motorized cart.

It was now my turn to checkout. I found my father reading a magazine and "taking in" everything that was in my cart. My father chastised for me getting too many "sweets" to eat and not enough "substantial" food. I reminded him that you only live once and I shall live it up these last few years of my life.

Paige was working tonight! Whee! Ah Bless! She is our favorite cashier and a total class act. Bless her soul, she is also very opinionated lady. Dad calls her a straight shooter.

"Baby, you need to start cooking for yourself," she told me with my father nodding his head agreeably.

"I want him to cook those frozen meals in the microwave," my father told Paige. "He needs more vegetables in his diet."

Aw shucks! What could I say?

I had an interesting impulse buy tonight. I got a quart of Southern Comfort egg nog. My father had to check the label carefully to make sure there was no real alcohol involved. I chuckled as dad and I walked out of Kroger headed for our cars.

They Tickle, Tantalize, and Tingle My Taste-buds...


Do you ever get hooked on certain music or songs? Right now, Sarah McLachlan's next to newest album, Shine On, is my ear worm and beau for the day. I can listen to that song Brink of Destruction over and over. Oh gawd, I love Sarah's voice. I am also listening to a lot of Zero 7 (down-tempo) with a smattering of Owl City (teeny bopper pop) thrown into the mix for good measure and furtive smiles.

Do you have any suggestions musically?  What do you like? I'm very eclectic and I like just about everything except for ultra modern pop, rap and gangsta rap.

"What Do You Want for Breakfast?" Interspersed With "Shall I Bury It?"

The Magster and I have already had our breakfast at 5 am sharp. Maggie woke me up signaling that she was hungry. I am sure we will truly be ravenous come true lunchtime around noon. Maggie rarely gets people food lately, but I reneged and gave her a strawberry Pop-Tart. She's been proudly carrying it around for the past 30 minutes wanting to bury it, but somehow she just can't do the deed. It is not often she gets such large and tasty morsels, as this, come her way.

"Maggie?" I told her. "Don't let it be feast time for the neighborhood raccoons and opossums."

A Few Must Haves From the Grocery Store...

Tonight is grocery shopping night. We're starting out with more of those DiGiorno pizzas tonight. I am going to get the supreme variety as I love a loaded pizza. They are about as close to you can get to carry out at Papa John's as far as frozen grocery store pizzas are concerned.

Hopefully, the entity that Kroger is, will also have my lime Baja Blast drinks tonight. Kroger has been out of that item for two weeks now.

I want hot dogs again tonight, but watch Kroger be out of buns. You can bet that there is going to something I like and they will be out of it. I'll take that to the bank.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Chicken With A Flair...

I am sitting here waiting on Charlie and Papa to arrive. I am getting two chicken sandwiches tonight from Kentucky Fried Chicken. I only order KFC in my attempt to appease Charlie and Papa.

Don't you wish KFC's chicken had more flair? Something out of the ordinary? The tender roast sandwich they had years ago was just plain delicious, but they discontinued it. I am hoping these sandwiches will chase away the KFC fried chicken blues. Charlie asked me this morning during breakfast and I said get me two sandwiches if KFC even makes a chicken sandwich these days. What kind of chicken place doesn't have a decent chicken sandwich?

I've also been very busy -- busy as a bee cleaning house.  It smells nice in here with the only sound that being of my clothes dryer with a load of towels riding the tilt-a-whirl. Maggie is getting in on the act as she is licking her paws -- her usual sign of comforting contentment. She got her nibbles early tonight after much coercion on her part. How could I deny a cute little hungry fur ball like that?

Well, That Was One Hell of a Visit...


The dynamic duo have come and gone. My father was beyond elated because I've got the house good and clean. It even smelled clean. I chased the doggy smell and stale cigar smoke smell away with some Febreeze I got on my last visit to Kroger.

"Thank you!" he told me as we hugged, "It smells wonderful in here and the house is so tidy and clean."

Charlie bought me four KFC chicken snacker sandwiches tonight.

"They were kind of small so I got you four," Charlie told me.

Only Charlie, my mother, and I understand this kind of over order logic. You better have too much than not enough.

And We Groveled and Gathered Around the Great Porcine of Sustenance...

http://www.snaxtime.com/
Will someone please get this poor guy some breakfast? He's running out of big words to describe his condition.

Yes, it is sausage biscuit/orange juice time! Charlie will be along in just a few hours. I am anxiously waiting to see him.  I wonder what kind of mood Charlie is in? Now, if I can just keep him away from my kitchen or mayhem will erupt. lol

Charlie will also be confronted by a cold blast of winter's air when he steps outside this morning. Knowing Charlie, he will jut have a t-shirt and shorts on. The temperature is hovering around 38° degrees this morning.

Free colposcopy with every breakfast for all you ladies! Don't forget your husband's and his friends to tag along and get their free colonoscopy after their breakfast meal as well!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Today's Game Day Game Plan...


My father called and told me he would be over in about an hour or so with my crazy medications and hopefully a bite to eat.

"Give me an hour plus possibly an extra half hour to get there," were his words covering his bases. "I do hope I am not giving you your medications too early."

And more frets followed -- my father sounded like my mother does most days. He didn't want to leave me hungry being so close to grocery day he said.

He was soon heading out to the Auburn game with my brother and a few of my other football fanatic family members. I told him to tell them all that it is very chilly and blustery day -- our first cold air of the winter season has arrived overnight. When I was headed to Wal-Mart this early morning the air could best be described as crisp and invigorating. It has been a long hot Southern summer -- time to turn the page of the annals of our weather.

"Will you eat Chef Boyardee Beefaroni?" my father asked me earlier. "Your mother is sending a big sack of them to you."

Give it to Mickey! He'll eat anything!

"Dad, you know I will eat just about anything except pancakes," I replied and we both laughed.

"Are you going to take care of  Maggie's ritual?" my father asked with furrows forming on his brow.

My father also brought me some delicious lasagna, garlic infused and buttery french bread, and a ranch dressing doused salad. He soon left me headed towards Auburn and my brother's house.

Wow! I Am Beginning to Like Wal-Mart...

This morning bolstered my spirits somewhat. If you go at the right time that is (and I hope my ladies from Fred's Dollar Store aren't reading or think they've been usurped). I was in Wal-Mart at seven this morning and it was super smooth sailing. I grabbed another gallon of milk and a box of Wal-Mart brand cereal. I hurried to check out hoping there wasn't a mad rush to the cashiers in my absence. It seemed as if the store was just plain dead. I was in and out in 15 minutes with a good parking space to boot.


He's Just Sad Johnny...


"We all get that way sometimes," my mother would say.

Or we're having an existential crisis...

"Except my father!" I would hearken and deadpan back facetiously. "He is always seems bright and cheery!"

A Prozac Moment Brought to You by Lilly Pharmaceuticals...


Dad was worried about me last night. Maggie and I weren't at the door to greet him for the second night in a row and both of us had been sound asleep.

"Are you depressed?" my father asked.

"I think so. Ah, hell! I don't really know," I told my father. "I know that I don't want to get out of the bed most times lately, though."

Dad then gave me a big bear hug and told me I could talk to him anytime if I need to.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Lopez, Oh Lopez. Why Art Thou So Loud, Lopez?

I was rudely awakened by the Magster barking wildly and Lopez and crew mulching leaves in the backyard. I hurried to the dog door noticing Maggie was still sitting on the back of the couch and barking. Strike now while the iron is still hot! I sighed with relief when the dog door was locked. I am wide awake now, and don't think I could go back to bed or sleep if I tried.

Friday and You've Still Got Groceries?


Kroger was all out of the stuff I really like so I bought some tasty items I've haven't tried before. Some of it was good and some some of was sorta good. It is hard to get good and fresh food these days. Most grocery stores are stocked from journeys that entail hundreds of miles to deliver the food.

I still have a gallon of whole milk and a box of cornflakes I bought from the Piggly Wiggly, though. My father said he was actually entertaining trying the Piggly Wiggly next week for our grocery shopping.

"We will give Kroger one more chance," he said.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

He Waits for Darkness to Fall...

http://www.funnyshirts.net/
Maggie and I both  were sitting at the front window looking out for Papa tonight -- two peas in the proverbial pod. The drone of the television was behind us. Pops came pulling up to my curb about 8:30 pm in his unstoppable tanklike Honda CR-V. It was very early for him for such a change. We've been arriving around 9:30ish lately.

"Well, Chuck, let's take your meds and get Mrs. Maggie some food and water. I am then heading home and crashing into my recliner after putting on my pajamas. I have a date with my television and a diet Coke. I also have to work again tomorrow so no late nights for me as I had planned."

My father sighed about having to work and I could sympathize with him.

I was then handed a palm full of crazy meds and I washed them all down with a coy tasting, sweet, and bubbly Sunkist soda.

This Injection Can Sneak Up On Me...

The phone started ringing early this morning in the computer room. The phone rang three times which meant I was to call my father back on his cell phone asap. He was driving to work.

"Your shot is this morning," he said timidly -- worried about how I would react to this little surprise.

I then looked at the clock and Kamath Medical would be open in thirty minutes.

"You were sound asleep weren't you?" he asked.

He probably thinks I might pitch a temper tantrum much like Horsefly does when he bowls a gutter bowl.

"I will buy you a good breakfast to sweeten the pot," my father also told me.

I guess one of the best ways to a man's heart is through his empty stomach.

I hurriedly put on some extra strength Irish Spring deodorant and slightly wrinkled clothes right out of the dryer (at least they were clean). I combed my hair like I just didn't care. I then headed to the pharmacy with my Ray Bans blocking a bright, morning sun. I had no idea it was injection time this morning as I slept. That should be my responsibility and not my fathers.  We seem to have a makeshift system, though, and it works for us.

Charlie's wife was sitting in the lobby when I arrived at Kamath Medical. I gave her a hug and asked how she was doing.

"I'm here to get some bloodwork done," Mrs. Janice told me with a smile.

Within moments, Rebecca called me back to an examination room.

"I think I hit some scar tissue," my nurse, Rebecca, alarmed and loudly said. "We are going to try the other cheek."

Rebecca told me to call her if I have any complications. Pat handed me my next appointment card as I walked out of the examination room. I was free to head home (if not for a little detour as well).

Can't a Hungry Man Get a Good Omelette Around Here?

http://www.humblejoes.com/

"Where are you going to eat?" my father asked me as he gave me $20.

I've been talking about it forever and I finally got myself another ham and cheese omelet at the Waffle House. I got my usual side orders of extra bacon and extra buttery toast as well.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The Return of Yawny...

When is Papa going to get here?
I seem to be in a sleepy haze lately. I slept all night last night and slept all day again. Maggie will watch me yawn and then she will then yawn in turn. Felines won't do this little trick. They are much too independent or aloof.

Maggie is smelling awful doggie tonight as well and I need to give her a bath. It will traumatize her to no end when I do this, though. It's like Superman's aversion to Kryptonite.

I heard my father's car pull up to the curb and Maggie was ecstatic.

"Shit!" dad exclaimed vulgarly as he stepped inside my house tonight for the medication ritual, "I forgot your Cokes and cigars."

At least he brought homemade vegetable beef soup and some buttery cornbread. That was a great and tasty consolation prize.

"Don't worry about it, dad," I replied. "I have enough to get me by until tomorrow morning."

Dad does their household grocery shopping on Wednesday night and mom has asked me if he had left my house. Mom was very lucid this evening and that was a good sign. You can talk some sense into her when she gets like this.

Dad was grilling me on South African history, the Afrikaners and apartheid this evening.  We got embroiled in a talk about an Englishman named Cecil Rhodes that turned around South Africa through mining and building a railroad network across the nation. President Clinton when to Cambridge with an extremely prestigious Rhodes scholarship.

Dark Storm Clouds On the Horizon...


I just woke up early this morning with thoughts of my mother on my mind. I am deeply worried about her fueled by my own trials and tribulations with addiction and substance abuse. She has a tough row to hoe ahead of her if she is to recover.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes, put on some shoes, and went and got a cold soda from the fridge. I sat down in front of this computer to try to get my jumbled thoughts and mind together enough to write a decent blog post. My brain was going every which way and that. It was a busy day yesterday -- a day full of those family secrets best forgotten and not talked about. Things swept under the rug as they say.

Mrs. Sandra ran my Mexican meal to me last night. Which kind of alarmed me as it was a very somber occasion indeed. I just knew something bad or crazy had happened.

"What has happened now?" I asked Mrs. Sandra instinctively as her grand-kids jostled in the backseat.

"Andrew?" Mrs. Sandra said. "Your mother's been taking something tonight.  She was acting all strange and then she fell into the bushes at the Mexican restaurant and we almost couldn't get  her out."

"Sandra, I shouldn't be talking for her, but she is addicted to Xanax," I replied. "She takes up to 12 at a time."

Sandra said my mother could barely get up the steps of their home when my father miraculously arrived home early and took over.

"Your father just told me to bring your meal and then head home," Sandra told me.

"You always call me when something like that happens and I will take care of it," I  told Sandra.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Traversing a Grocery Store Graveyard...


http://www.govtslaves.info/
"Let's take your medications and then we will head out to do some shopping," my father said after arriving at my humble little abode. "Let's don't forget to give Maggie some fresh nibbles and fresh water as well."

I was very surprised about what my father was wearing tonight. The word hypercritical came to mind. He had on a white cotton t-shirt, some sandals, and some khaki shorts. He would tell me I'm wearing my pajamas in public to go shopping if I wore such plebian attire. I was the one dressed appropriately wearing fresh laundered and nice smelling clothes. Some battles are meant to be forgotten, though. Pick and choose your battles wisely as they always say. I am learning to rise above the negativity.

A Derelict Kroger? It Seems to Crumble Around Us...

Kroger was out of everything tonight. It seems they have less and fewer items as we shop as each week passes. I aggravatingly told my father that I would be buying my milk and cereal at the Piggly Wiggly in the morning. Cereal and milk are the cornerstones and a staple for my diet.

"I am going to trust you," my father replied. "Just don't get any Budweiser."

I smiled a devilish smile as my father formed a smile himself and then we continued on with my shopping. You would think Kroger was having a going out of business sale due to the lack of items.

"It's not going to snow, is it?" I asked my father in jest.

Things They Didn't Have Tonight that Were On My List...
  • Unfrosted strawberry Pop-tarts. 
  • No frosted flakes what-so-ever. Not even Tony the Tiger.
  • No whole milk.
  • My chocolate covered Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
  • Mainstream hot dog buns as all they had were yucky reduced calorie wheat buns.
  • No lime Baja Blasts to be found within the store. I had to settle on Sunkist soda.
  • Vienna sausages in the 6 can packs.
Odds and Ends...

I urged my father to venture farther into the store and to help me get me a few items. Maggie gets a clean and fresh paper bowl every night with her kibble. We only had two bowls left. I also wanted some more ketchup and mustard to accompany my hot dogs as well. I sent my father to get those items. I then grabbed a small can of Bavarian style sauerkraut and I was ready to check out.

When Does Christmas Truly Come Twice?

https://www.amazon.com
I do believe your dog has unearthed a Brontosaurus bone...

For the Magster, it certainly does come twice. When Maggie buries her Christmas beef bone last year and digs it up about a year later.

She is laying on the floor crunching on that bone as I write this. She's kind of making me cringe at the cracking noises. I guess it is good for her teeth and gums.

"Are you hungry?" I asked the Maggins noticing her food bowl in the computer room was bare. She just looked at me and if she were human she would say like George J, "We be cool! We be cool like dat!"

I wonder what George J. is doing these days? I always hoped George J. would get ASE certified and become a car mechanic. He had a certain aptitude for it. He kept his 1981 Dodge Diplomat running for many years after it should've died.

They Really Want to Tighten the Noose Tighter...

http://sixsigmadsi.com/
Because my father is going to kill me if I debit any more money out of my debit account for a few days. lol

I was sitting in my lazy boy in my dark den enjoying the solace and silence. The clock reached 5:30 am as my neighbor, who is also named George, got in his car and headed for the nearest Waffle House.

That seemed so very good to me! A ham and cheese omelet with some buttery grits and buttery toast. I am certainly very hungry this morning. It is lean pickings over here at Andrew's abode. I am glad tonight is grocery night. I have already started a list. I have also started a load of laundry so I will have something clean, fresh smelling, and that appeals to my father for when we go shopping tonight. What exactly is the homeless look anyways? That old saying if you can't beat them then join them applies to this predicament.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Awake! And Arise From the Dead My Minions...

I was doing some serious sleeping in my pitch black and wonderfully cool house when the Magster went crazy. Does your alarm clock bark? I also call Maggie my proximity alarm with regards to the house and the yard.

I looked at the clock and it was 8:30 pm. We had visitors and I scrambled to get out of the bed. One was a Papa and the other visitor was a Charlie. I struggled to turn on some lights and to let the dynamic duo inside.

"I'm putting on some pants," I told Charlie and my father loudly.

"I got you some more Captain D's." Charlie told me. "Your mother said that you were tired of eating fried chicken."

Dear God! Thank You Martha!

The only reason I kept getting it was because it was easy on Charlie and my father since they all like the fried chicken at KFC. Horsefly also has to have his nightly chicken fingers from that establishment. Mom, the defector from the norm, got her usual Wendy's double with cheese.

Dad and I sat on the couch as he administered my crazy meds. I about got choked (on a Klonopin of all things of course). It also sounded like a construction crew was remodeling the kitchen with all the noise emanating from that room. All of this can send my sensitivities to the edge -- the introverted and reclusive soul that I am.

"I honestly didn't know my kitchen was so dirty," I said to a sympathetic father.

"Charlie?" my father asked with an air of consternation. "Just what in the hell you are doing in there?"

"I am taking care of my friends, Andrew and Maggie," Charlie replied with a harrumph as my kitchen got a compete makeover in essence.

"Fix Maggies food and water," my father loudly told Charlie.

"It has already been taken care of," Charlie replied.

This was just a whirlwind visit of two of my more favorite souls in my life. Dad and Charlie left to go deliver my mother's meal.

The Kitchen is Now Officially Closed...

http://www.snaxtime.com/
That always worried my little brother when my grandmother would tell us the kitchen was closed after supper. She would turn on the dishwasher and then turn off the lights.

"Memaw?" my stymied little brother would have innocently asked. "There is no door to the kitchen."

Ships Are On the Horizon...

Charlie finally arrived after being very late this morning. Maggie and I were on the lookout for him on the couch. I got sincerely worried about Charlie as the clock inched closer to 10 am. He's got a helluva lot on his plate these days with work being stressful and hectic. He also has to keep the Horsefly going as well on top of work. I've always wondered why Charlie's wife doesn't take a more active role when it regards Horsefly. Her whole career was spent helping intellectually disadvantaged children.

"I got some of those mustard packs you like to eat with your sausage biscuits," Charlie then told me as I gave him a hug. "I always forget every time."

I certainly was out of mustard and glad to get those packs.

"Why don't you come in and say hello to Maggie?" I asked Charlie politely. "It would thrill this dog to death."

"I can't," Charlie told me "I'm  in a hurry and still have three more deliveries to do. My sister, Polly, who lives a few streets over from you is next and she will want me to sit and talk awhile."

I ate breakfast at 10:30 am as they played cops and robbers as they always do on the boob tube. Crime never pays unless you are a television network.

It also about broke Maggie's dear little heart when she sat in the den and watched me eat the second of two sausage biscuits. When I was finished, Maggie tucked her tail between her legs and headed for our bedroom looking defeated. Don't worry. She's not starving.

This Was Not Foreseen At All...

Much like the rest of my life so far...





It was surprisingly drizzling lightly and foggy as I walked out to my car and cranked it up. Maggie ran outside into the backyard barking loudly to clear my way for departure as she often does.

"Shh... don't wake up George!" I told the barking Maggie in a loud whisper as I was climbing into my car. .

"This was odd," I remarked to myself of the very light rain. It certainly was not what the weather guessers had forecast.

I had yet another appointment with my friends down at Wally World. Oh hell, I was mainly lonely and just wanted to be near and around more people.

My first rendezvous was mom and dad's house to pick up my daily sodas and some cigars. Dad said he would put them out on the porch for when I had woke up some. I quietly climbed their lengthy back steps to grab my bag of six sodas and my grape imbued cigarillos. .

Wal-Mart was surprisingly busy for 4 am in the morning. A line had formed behind the  lone solitary cash register that was open. The only item I bought was a $1.25 Baja Blast drink. I find those sugary carbonated lime drinks to be irresistible.

The skies looked overcast and stormy as I drove home -- just a little rain drop here or there on my windshield. This was not forecast by the weather guessers. I shut my front door and a deluge fell from the skies. It was almost perfect timing on my part. It is steadily raining here as I write this blog post.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

And He Lets Loose the Mother of all Yawns...

Charlie has been by with a barbecue plate from the annual barbecue and fundraiser in Waverly, Alabama -- my grandmother's beloved town of her youth and elder years.

"Eat up or it's going to get cold," Charlie remarked to me as he washed the stainless steel utensils and glassware piled up in my sink.

"We've got to get your dishwasher fixed," Charlie noted.

The barbecue plate has already had a 45 minute ride in the Caprica from Waverly to get here and amazingly the plate was still pretty warm.

Charlie was stepping out my front door to take his leave of me when I asked him who was bringing my medications?

"SHIT!" Charlie crassly exclaimed as he started to nervously laugh. "I have your medications in the car. Your daddy would just kill me if I forgot those."

Charlie scrambled to his car and brought back my blister pack of medications and a cold soda to take them with.

I am still in some kind of dream state from sleeping all day. Maggie was a good sport and slept with me all afternoon. She didn't wake me not once today on one of her flights of dog fancy.

Things were fine as I left Wal-Mart and undertook the short drive home. I walked into the door to a grand welcoming from Maggie. Than? The skies opened up in a deluge. I must have planned that little  bit of choreographry to the T.

The Game Plan for a Game Day...

https://www.pinterest.com
My father has already asked me to go with him to the Auburn game today which really surprised me and caught me off guard.

"We are playing Arkansas and it should be a great game," he told me.

He is also a very persuasive fellow -- the astute businessman he is. He hasn't asked me to go to a football game with him in many a year. It has probably been a decade.

My father said he has an extra ticket with some great seats and a great view of the field. I politely, but very graciously declined. I still have yet to go to the bed since I woke up around 7:00 pm last night. I would be in fine shape by the time I got home from that ballgame around midnight tonight. Can you say anxiety central?

"Are y'all still planning on tailgating?" I then asked my father rather nosily.

Tailgating and interesting food is really the only reason I would have for me to go.

"You will be missing out on some delicious chili nacho cheese dip and Doritos," my father said. "Your sister is bringing finger foods."

Dad gets off of work at noon and I am hoping he will stop by here with my medications, then the Magster and I are going to bed. Plan B would be for Charlie to bring my medications about 4:00 pm when Charlie takes Horsefly to the movies. That is probably the most likely scenario.

Post Wal-Mart...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii

These early mornings lately are finding me shopping in my local Wal-Mart many nights. I needed some Irish Spring deodorant this morning and I also bought the ingredients to make a good and tasty tuna fish salad. Have you tried the tuna marinated in olive oil? It is delicious. It adds a richness that tuna salad sometimes lacks when packed in spring water.

Wal-Mart has also succumbed to the preservative filled bread bandwagon. If you ever taste it, then you will know what I am talking about. I took a taste of my Sunbeam bread spread with butter and let loose a sigh of defeat. I can remember when eating a slice of store bought bread just because it tasted so good.

The last item on my list was a replacement controller for my Nintendo Wii that is quickly growing obsolete. It was $59.99 for one controller and a nunchuck which was much too rich for my blood. My Nintendo Wii was officially retired as of 2:00 AM on a Saturday morning in 2016.

Friday, October 14, 2016

And Then There Was Chili...Ole...

http://www.chowhound.com/
It was growing close to medication time tonight. My quiet time in front of my computer was disrupted due to the harsh ring of the telephone. I had just connected it back into its socket moments before that. There was still sleep in my eyes after a deep slumber.

"You daddy just left and he is headed your way," my mother told me.

I appreciate these courtesy calls mom gives me about the medication ritual every night.

She also told me she doesn't like it when I unplug my phone during the day as has been my custom for a few weeks now. I told her I would never get any sleep if I didn't. Harrumph!

"I live 5 minutes away and if it is something that pressing then you can come drive over and wake me up!"

I told mom thanks for the call despite all her worries.. I told her I didn't mean to sound rude. Maggie and I took our positions  on the couch looking out the expansive window in the den. We were on look out for Papa. Maggie knows when I do this that Papa is on the way. Maggie was really whining tonight or whinging as the British say.

"How's my midnight crew holding up tonight?" dad asked as he walked across the yard.

I smiled. Maggie let loose a flurry of barking when he said that.

"Your fan club has been waiting on you," I told him. "Doesn't it feel good to be wanted?"

Say No to Pinto...

Wonderful smells were coming from dad's grocery bag in his hands.

"I've got you some chili with no beans just like you like it. I also brought some saltines to eat it with,"
my father told me. "I almost got it too spicy, but you will love it that way."

Now, I've just got to wait an hour for my crazy meds to be soaked in and then I am going to eat. I haven't been very judicious as far as groceries are concerned this week.

The Doctor and Mr. Hyde...

https://www.expresspublishing.co.uk
Last night, I was sitting in what has to be one of the most comfortable recliners in the world (a little hyperbole for you). It is the blue Laz-E-Boy chair my father bought for me many moons ago for my dorm room when I went off to college. It has held up well over the years with just a few beer spill stains.

Well, I fell asleep for about 3 hours to the soft drone of the television and Maggie's rhythmic breathing and snoring -- long enough for my father to get here, then things went from 0 to 60 mph when I looked at the clock and it read 9:06 pm.

Maggie and I were slow in response and equally slow to get to the font door. Maggie only managed a few lackluster barks of joy.

"You two must have really been sleeping!" my father exclaimed at my poor Maggie's response. "The duchess needs her beauty rest!"

Dad was in a pretty good frame of mind last night himself. We can have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde love/hate relationship between us for the most part some days. He was very kind last night during the medication ritual despite feeling fatigued. He was also overjoyed that he has today off but he will have to work 3 hours on Saturday.

"At least, it is not going to be a normal 10 hour day," he told me last night relieved.

Some People Call it All Coke and Some People Call it Pop or Soda...

https://www.pinterest.com
It is 3:00 am and I just have gotten back from my parent's house. Mom had put my sodas on the back porch and she was true to her words. I was careful not to make much noise as my parent's must surely be in the bed by then. Mom knew that I was coming, though. I told her to put them out and I would be over sooner or later to pick up my sodas.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

The Muscadines Are Mostly the First to Go...

http://isons.com/?publisher=4846312192
Muscadines are a wild Indian grape that grows here in the Southern US. They have largely, for the most part, been domesticated. There are some wild vines across the street and they are very, very sensitive to the change in seasons. I noticed today that their leaves have turned from a dark green to a vibrant yellow fall hue.  The dogwood trees leaves have already mostly fallen off those trees. Yes, the season of change is well upon us.

The amount of daylight has also drastically changed as well. As the clock turns 7 am, the first light of dawn is on the horizon and by seven that night, the sun is gone below the horizon. When the time changes in November, it was be mostly dark at 6 pm. UGH! Someone give me some Prozac, stat! That's when I know the cavalry, my father, will soon be here. He's had to work most of the week, and I wonder what kind of mood he will be in when he arrives? Hopefully, he will be a dapper fellow -- sharply dressed and ready to administer medications as he normally is. . 

4:00 AM Features Pizza and a Barking Pup...

http://forthemommas.com/
Maggie had a case of the barkies something fierce tonight. She was going bonkers in the backyard. Thankfully she doesn't do this often -- maybe once a month. I liked to have never gotten her inside. I had to finally use a ruse and trickery on Maggie by crying wolf and I hate to that. I don't want to squander Maggie's trust in me.

"Maggie?" I hollered as I stood on the back deck. "Charlie's here!"

Her favorite member of her pack and my father is a close third.

Maggie came flying through the dog door to greet Charlie and I quickly locked it tightly behind her. Maggie spent the next hour doing her cough-bark routine. You could almost hear a collective sigh of relief across the neighborhood as Maggie's voice fell silent or should I say muted.

Let's Visit the Pizzeria!

Yes, we have a pizza in the oven -- a supreme pizza to be exact. We will be eating in just about 20 minutes. Do you like your crust to be crunchy or soft baked?  I usually try to cook my pizzas to where the dough will rise, but will not get too crunchy. This is the last of my pizza so I will have to make the best of it till next Monday night.