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| A psychedelic express train... |
I am not feeling my oats right now. This late in the day is usually my downhill slide until I get my medications -- my medications quickly dropping to almost nothing. Once I take them, I will be reinvigorated till about midnight to three in the morning.
I am still incredibly craving beer tonight. I keep fantasizing about driving to the Circle K and getting a six pack of Natural Ice beer. "Just a six pack won't hurt," I keep telling myself. Dad reeked of alcohol last night as well and that just put fuel on the fire so to speak. Why can he and I can't?
I was trying to think the last time I took a drink and it must be at least 5 or 6 years ago -- just about the last few times I saw George, but my memory is cloudy.
I feel bad that I don't blog anymore I jumped ship for Facebook. I miss the story telling and truly being able to just say what I wanted because none of my nosy family read it.
ReplyDeleteAlso miss it because you might know me as well as I feel I know you...all that to say this...
Stay strong. I still crave alcohol 20+ years later upon occasion and sometimes for long periods of time (days) but I know the cost. I think you do too. Try not to beat yourself up for cravings and try not to obsess about it.
I love reading your stories about your life...how goes the train room?
Sir:
ReplyDeleteIf your were to decide to drink, I think the main thing would be to stay focused on being a responsible adult about drinking. Like you said, a six pack. That would be within the realm of moderation. But before you for do, you would want to tell yourself firmly, "I am going to be a moderate drinker. Six would be my limit." Then if that goes well, which it should, then you tell yourself... as a moderate drinker, I would only do this once a week. If you are firm with yourself, then it could be doable. But if you are not willing to be firm in your convictions, then perhaps it is not yet time.
PipeTobacco