Just Checking In…

I don’t feel much like writing tonight. I don’t feel ill, but I am at a loss of words I think. This will probably turn out to be a long post as I get diarrhea of the keyboard when I get started. I always start out thinking I am not going to be able to write something and it turns into something big and wordy.

I was overjoyed that a new AM radio station opened in the Valley this week. I tuned in expecting Coast to Coast AM and other cool shows like that. It was Christian conservative radio. I was so disappointed you just don’t know. They have nothing to offer me entertainment wise except frustration. 

Tracy made a B on her listening test and I was so proud of her and so was she. She called me on the way home from class last night ecstatic.

I wanted to talk computer parts tonight as I have a cool order going in tomorrow (first of the month). I just sent Matt, at the pharmacy, an email with what I want. I won’t bore you with all of that, though. It is just some $200 THX-certified speakers for my gaming rig. I am moving the Infinity surround system back into the den so Tracy and I can watch TV and Blu-rays with surround sound. It was her request.

We had breakfast for supper tonight which was always a special treat when I was growing up. I just scrambled some eggs and fried some Clark Brother’s sausage. It was delicious. I also made a pot of buttery and creamy grits. I have cooking grits down to a fine science. It was rounded off by a pan of Mary B’s biscuits which are equally delicious.

I prank called my father tonight. I can mimic Trump’s voice to a T and I called my father in my best Trump voice warning him of Lopez Landscaping and undocumented workers. He burst out laughing when he realized it was me. “I’m not a crook!” I ended the call with. Dad wants me to call my brother and prank him next.

Time to Listen Closely…

Tracy came home all upset that she had a music listening test tonight and she didn’t think she was prepared enough.

“I’ve been listening to all these songs driving back and forth from work,” she said. “Trying to memorize them. I thought this class was going to be easy, but it is turning out to be hard!”

“Let’s sit down and go through a few songs,” I told her as I placed her listening disc in the boom box above the den computer.

I played the first song and Tracy wrinkled her nose – the answer was on the tip of her tongue.

“Hear the lute playing?” I asked. “That means it is probably a renaissance piece.”

I played the next song and it had harpsichord in it.

“Now, that is distinctively Baroque,” I told her. “See? This is not going to be that hard.”

The next song I played was Gregorian chant and distinctively medieval. 

Tracy left for class much more emboldened about her chances of passing the test.

“Love you, Hon!” she told me. “Thank you so much for the help!”

You to Thank-Songs For Silverman

“Yes, dear!”

Quiet time for me is putting on a little Beethoven and reading about Queen Victoria and the British Monarchy on Wikipedia like tonight. It never fails that I get too loud with my surround system. Maggie will be laying on the floor beside me. I’m convinced she adores classical music as well. I was listening to Ben Folds’ album Songs for Silverman earlier which I highly recommend.

“Andrew! Put on your headphones!” Tracy will say loudly from the den as she watches the television.

“Yes, dear!” I will reply in kind as I don a set of headphones muting all noise from the computer room.

There is No Greater Love Than What I Feel for You…

Tracy and I were laying in the bed last night covered by our warm comforter in a chilly house. It was pitch black dark in our bedroom as I felt her warm arm wrap around me and hold me close to her equally warm bosom and chest. I had just been fretting about my father.

“I love you, Andrew,” she said in an airy and quiet voice. “You’re a good and kind man.”

Well, I just melted into a puddle of goo. I’ve been known to be a softie when it comes to romantic affairs.

“Well, you are one fine specimen of a woman,” I replied. “I love you with all my heart.”

I turned over to face her and we kissed passionately as I held her face in my hand. About that time, Maggie barked loudly (our alarm system) in the den and we both laughed as if Maggie knew what was going on.

“That’s my other girlfriend!” I told Tracy. “She’s just a little more demanding than you!”

We both laughed once more and kissed passionately again.  

It Takes Two to Tango…

I was up early and at ‘em this morning and Tracy remarked upon it.

“Where are you going so early this morning?” she asked, drying her hair with a towel.

“To the dreaded DMV!” I replied mournfully.

“I don’t envy you of that by any means,” she said sympathetically. “You will be there all morning.”

My commercial driver’s license had expired and I knew to be at the DMV as soon as they opened so I wouldn’t have to wait very long. I had so many frets, though. Will they ask for a Hazmat endorsement? Will I get fingerprinted again? Will they take my debit card? Will I have to retake my CDL driver’s exam? Everything went smoothly despite all my most deep seated fears. It only took ten minutes and I was on my way. All that worrying for nothing.  It cost $77 dollars, though, which I thought was highway robbery.

Dad finally turned over grocery buying to Tracy and I. Isn’t it about time? After all these years of going to the grocery store with me as my moderator. He didn’t go and supervise tonight which would have embarrassed me to be honest. He did call Tracy and told her to moderate me in his stead. We’ve already been to Kroger and bought our groceries for the week and then Tracy headed to her class at 7pm. We got lots of one skillet “meal kits” to make it easy for me to have a supper ready when Tracy gets off of work – lots of Chinese meal kits and Italian meal kits.

I also got my two bags of Mary B’s “thin” biscuits for breakfast. Dad got me on these and those things are delicious and taste like homemade. A little butter and a slice of sharp cheddar and you are in heaven.  Forget the cheese and add some strawberry preserves and you are in a state of nirvana.  The only drawback is they are 120 calories per biscuit and you want to eat six. 

Papa is Drunk Again…

I don’t know what to do with him. At least, he is an affectionate drunk wanting to hold my hand and telling me how much he loves me. I went to visit my father tonight and he was drunk as a Cooter. Charlie was just leaving and didn’t warn me as to what I may find. After all we’ve been through to keep me sober, he goes and drinks more and more frequently.

“You’re tipsy,” I told him tonight.

“I goddamn am not!” he exclaimed.

He kept going on and on about my learning to play the pipe organ and flying to Argentina.

“I’ll pay for lessons. You’re blessed with a gift I didn’t get!” he told me drunkenly.

He’s got the gene. All of his uncles on his mother’s side were notorious drunks. I stayed a little while until I couldn’t take it any longer. I am glad Tracy was in class when I went.

One Hundred Years Young…

Charlie was really, really early this morning and I just happened to be up at 8:30am on a Sunday morning. I never know when Charlie will arrive. The weather is more predictable. Maggie yelped loudly and I looked out the window to see Charlie walking across the front yard his hands full of food and drinks.

“My sister-in-law had her 100th birthday yesterday,” Charlie told me standing at my front door.

“Your sister-in-law?” I asked incredulously as I invited Charlie inside.

I forget Charlie had 13 brothers and sisters and he was the youngest.

“I drove down to Thomasville, Georgia for the celebrations,” Charlie said.

Thomasville is also the home of my father’s beloved cousin, Jean, and Charlie said he made it a point to see her as well.

Charlie handed me a handful of biscuits and drinks which I juggled before I could set them down atop the entertainment center. All the time, Maggie was barking very loudly and jubilantly. Charlie got on the couch as Maggie jumped up to greet him. Charlie just lavished Maggie with adulated attention.

“You realize you have been doing this four years and you have never missed once,” I told Charlie.

“Your daddy told me you told him the same thing last night,” Charlie replied with a chuckle. “Time flies!”

“Love you!” Charlie said, getting up to leave. “I have a senior coffee to deliver. Tell Tracy I love her as well.”

My girl with the curls and the curves. She stepped out of the bathroom about the time Charlie was leaving. Charlie gave her a hug and told her how ravishingly beautiful she looked this morning.

A More Mild Mannered Evening…

There was no wine pouring forth this evening as dad invited Tracy and I over to watch his favorite episode of The Crown. Tracy and I both really enjoyed the episode and now Tracy wants Apple TV. I got online and ordered it when we got home. I crave more British broadcasting than PBS can deliver so maybe I will enjoy it as well. My mother loved it and would ask my father what he was watching on Netflix tonight. She would get ready by taking her place on the couch.

How Do You Write About the Vagaries of Life and Make it Sound Interesting?

It is a tough thing to do on a night like tonight.

Tracy had class tonight. They have moved into the Baroque period and Tracy said she was listening to harpsichords on the drive home. I was delighted to hear that and told her I had more Baroque music on my computer in the computer room. I told her next will come the Classical period and then the Romantic period leading up to the 20th century.

“It is a quaint sound,” she said to me on the couch of Baroque as we debriefed.

“Quite distinctive!” I added. “And easy to recognize!”

Tracy appreciates the enthusiasm and help I have to offer for her class.

I cooked supper. We had spaghetti and meat sauce and a garden salad. It was pretty good if I do say so myself. I used my mother’s recipe which is always a crowd pleaser. You know anything that starts with sautéed in butter garlic, celery and onions is going to be good – your classic mirepoix minus the carrots.

Dad and Tracy both have to work until lunch tomorrow. I will be sleeping in with Wheezy. That cat sleeps more than any cat I’ve ever seen or it may be normal for cats to sleep so much. She keeps one eye open looking out for Maggie, though.  She recently discovered the dog door watching Maggie come and go and has been making short forays into the backyard. I am hoping we can dispense with the litterbox before long.

Farewell and Thanks for the Wine!

Tracy and I moseyed on over to my father’s house tonight for a visit. Dad had a birthday card for my niece that I needed to sign and he was going to put it in the mail tonight in time to arrive for her birthday. Well, Old Fuss and Feathers had been enjoying a few glasses of wine and was still in his pajamas from this morning. Quite a few to be exact. He was slurring his words. Charlie had been over and was just leaving as we arrived. He took a moment to speak to us and then he was on his way.

“Y’all look good together!” he said, waving goodbye.

“Do you want a glass of white wine?” Old Fuss and Feathers asked Tracy and she said yes.

“Don’t encourage him!” I told Tracy, laughing nervously.

We all laughed.

“You know you can’t have any, Andrew!” Old Fuss and Feathers replied to me.

Dad got to talking about my mother and got all teary eyed on the verge of crying. About this time, Tracy got dad to pour her another glass of wine. Sheesh! I was outnumbered here!

“I am fixing to put on some clothes and go mail this birthday card,” Old Fuss and Feathers said.

“Oh, no your are not!” I interrupted. “Tracy and I will mail it on our way home.”

I snatched the card away from my father’s grasp despite his protests.

By this time, Tracy had gotten tipsy as well and was just gushing to my father how much she loved me and how much she loved him, too!

“I would’ve loved to have met Mrs. Martha!” she told my father setting my father off on another tearful tangent about my mother.

Tracy and I finally took our leave after her third glass of white wine.

“This bra is coming off as soon as we get home,” Tracy candidly exclaimed as we sat down in the car to drive home. “It is driving me crazy!”

I smiled feverishly and laughed. Yes, we got the card mailed off to Auburn.

Stormy Night!

Sleepyhead Part Deux…

The shrill alarm went off at 6:30am this morning, but I managed to go back to sleep. Tracy’s stirring didn’t wake me again. I slept until eleven and couldn’t sleep no more. Wheezy and I were bedbugs. It was glorious. My phone didn’t ring miraculously once. I got up and headed to my father’s house to pick up some medicine. He had left a bottle of his homemade cough syrup “John’s cough syrup” between the screen door and the kitchen door.

“I am afraid you are going to have to quit smoking,” my father told me last night. “Your cough worries me so.”

This year I will have been smoking thirty years. How do you give up a lifetime habit? I started smoking when I was sixteen. I go outside to smoke on the porch since Tracy has moved in. It has greatly curtailed the amount I am imbibing.

The small animal clinic closes from noon to 1pm for lunch and I knew Tracy was coming home to eat. I got two turkey pot pies cooking in my toaster oven. They just taste better cooked in an oven than microwaved. I thought that would be a warm treat on this cold and dreary winter’s day. The large Marie Calendar’s pot pies are so delicious.

Honey Do Projects…

Tracy has been complaining for weeks that my shower doesn’t get hot enough. At first, I didn’t know what to do other than call a plumber and that is expensive. I hated to get Charlie involved. Dad thought I was exaggerating when I would talk about it.

“I liked to have froze my butt off this morning,” she told me tonight. “It is like shards of ice prickling your skin.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I replied, putting on my best mojo.

I took apart the faucet temperature and flow fixture and there was an o-ring and stopper regulating how hot the faucet water can get. It also had a plastic ring on it as well warning of too hot water. I moved it so you can get much hotter water flowing through. I put everything back together pleased with my efforts. It just took a plier and a screwdriver. The hardest part was getting the tight rubber o-ring to come off. 

“It’s fixed,” I told Tracy enthusiastically. “Be careful because it gets really hot now. If I knew it was going to be that easy to fix, I would have fixed it years ago. I have just put up with a lukewarm shower all this time.”

The shower should be hot and steamy in the morning much to Tracy’s relief and delight.

Sleepyhead…

God willing, I will be able to sleep in tomorrow morning. It is going to be so decadent. I will sleep until time to take my medications at noon.

A Busy Household and Don’t Tell Tales…

The alarm went off this morning at an early 6:30am. I yawned as I pulled on some sweat pants and exited the bed.

“Sweetheart? What are you doing getting up so early?” Tracy asked sleepily as she sat on the edge of the bed getting up as well.

“I have my injection this morning,” I replied chirpily and in good spirits. “I am going to take a shower before you have to and get on the computer for an hour before I have to go.”

I slept so well last night and it was a blessing.

I took my very quick shower so as not to use all the hot water and ate a granola bar for breakfast. Soon, it was time to head on down and get injected. I was quite together this morning and dressed smartly.

Dad was telling the pharmacy employees interesting stories about me and my mother when I arrived – some of the antics we have committed over the years.

“Don’t tell them all that!” I said exasperated. 

“I can tell one on you!” I then said. “You slept with your mother until you were thirteen!”

Everybody laughed and asked me if I was serious.

“I am damn serious,” I replied haughtily.

That clammed my father up! He prepared my injection and sent me on my way. I was still smiling when I got in my car to head to Kamath Medical.

The One, Two Punch…

I was awakened at 6:45am to the sound of Tracy taking a shower. She had to be at work at 8:00am this morning. I noticed Wheezy was asleep at the foot of the bed. I drifted back off to sleep barely remembering Tracy kissing me goodbye. Then, there was the loud, raucous noise of a leaf blower at 8:00am. Yes, Lopez Landscaping had arrived to manicure my lawn and clean things up. I was awake by then. There was no turning back and sleeping some more. I always worry when they come so early that they are waking up my neighbors as well.

On an interesting note, my neighbor to the right has always been an enigma to me. I walked outside to head out for my daily walk and she was letting her dog potty on a leash in her yard. I gathered up some neighborly courage and walked over to introduce myself. I shook her hand and she said her name was Sunny like the sun.

“My name is Andrew. Nice to meet you Sunny,” I said, smiling goofily with a bumbling nature. “If you ever need anything then let me know.”

I know she must now think I am nuts as a fruitcake I was so bumbling! I was just nervous as social situations like that are hard and ungainly for me.

Spring Has Sprung in the South!

On my walk, I noticed all the daffodils are blooming as well as the tulip trees. My neighbor, James, down the street has a yard full of blooming daffodils and it is a glorious and invigorating sight! A few trees are budding and leafing out as well. We’ve had an uncommonly warm winter here. It is supposed to be in the seventies later in the week with thunderstorms to grace us.

Andy? Did You Hear About this One?

I astutely put on some pajama bottoms and socks before I went to bed last night. I never know what time Charlie will be here in the morning so I was prepared. I hate going to the door in my underwear even though Charlie laughs. Charlie showed up at 9:11am and Tracy and I were still sound asleep. Maggie went bonkers at the knock on the door. Charlie even caught Maggie off guard.

“Oh shit! Charlie is here!” I exclaimed jumping out of the bed and heading to the front door.

Charlie had three sausage biscuits and two large diet drinks.

“Good morning, precious. How are you two love birds doing?” Charlie slyly asked.

I laughed and said we are doing fine.

Tracy ambled into the den in her pajamas. I was putting Maggie’s biscuit on the floor.

“Blink and it will be gone,” I said with a smile.

I showed Tracy the proper way to eat a sausage biscuit in the South as I put a liberal dollop of yellow mustard on my biscuit.

Fast Forward To Tonight…

“What time does Charlie and your father get here with supper?” Tracy asked me this evening.

“Between seven and nine,” I replied.

“I better get in the bathroom and put on some makeup and fix my hair,” she responded.

“You look fine, honey,” I told her fruitlessly.

I laughed thinking it was overkill, but it was important to Tracy.

Tracy is getting a box of that KFC Nashville hot chicken. I am getting a chicken sandwich and potato wedges, and Maggie is getting a box of chicken tenders.

All I Did is Wonder How Your Arms Would Be…

“I can move boxes!” my father astutely exclaimed this morning as Charlie and I were about to head out.

Charlie had been down to McDonald’s and gotten all of us sausage biscuits and drinks. Dad jumped in the big U-Haul with us which I had to drive. We did, indeed, need all the help we could get.

We moved my furniture first. The couch, recliner, my bedroom suite, and the entertainment center. All of this went to Charlie’s spare house – the house behind my father’s. This used to be my grandmother’s house. Then we were on the road to Tracy’s apartment and boy, was she glad to see us.

“I thought y’all would never get here!” She said, all smiles.

Dad and Tracy got busy loading boxes into the truck as Charlie and I loaded up furniture. It didn’t take near as long as I thought it would. Soon, we were then headed back to the Valley with Tracy and Wheezy following behind us in her car. Inside my home went Tracy’s much, much nicer furniture.

“I guess I will be bringing three biscuits in the morning,” Charlie said with a chuckle.

Tracy and I profusely thanked Charlie for all the help.

“I owe you a big favor!” I told Charlie, giving him a hug. 

The tell-tale point was when Tracy let Wheezy out of her cat carrier. We all held our breaths as she emerged cautiously. Maggie immediately chased her under a bed and barked for a good half hour. Maggie finally relented and left her alone still eyeing her suspiciously. Maggie’s not happy with the arrangement, but I do think she will grow to accept and welcome Wheezy over time. She couldn’t get a more laidback companion.

On a funny note, Tracy put down some cat food in a bowl on the floor and Maggie was like, “Thank You! I was needing a snack!”

“This is not going to work,” Tracy said, stymied.

She moved the bowl to a kitchen table chair and that did the trick. Wheezy jumped up and ate her food. 

Tracy is just pleased as punch and is settling in – making my home her home. She is busily unloading boxes in the den as I write this. I am afraid my closet space is going to be zilch or none when all is said and done.

Let’s Celebrate Now While We Still Have All this Flesh On Our Bones…

“How could you forget Tracy’s Valentine’s you do do head,” my father said, scolding me this morning.

I shrugged goofily and said that I am making it up to her. Tracy wants to eat tonight at Milano’s Bar and Grill. They have a killer veal and eggplant parmigiana. I also sent her a flower arrangement at work with the help of my father.

“Well, that’s a first,” he said sitting at his computer this morning. “I ordered flowers online.”

So, I am sitting here waiting for her to get off of work so we can go out to eat. I am almost out of the doghouse now. She is going to change into something nice here out of her scrubs and then we are headed out near the interstate where Milano’s resides.

Sleeping In the Doghouse…

I forgot St. Valentine’s day. It completely slipped my mind. All this moving business has me bumfuzzled. My cousin texted me tonight hoping I had a good Valentine’s day and it jolted me into the present. I called Tracy and apologized profusely. I told her we would go out to eat tomorrow night at a restaurant of her choice.

Your Kiss Is On My List…

I had to drive down to Opelika to pick up some blank BD-R’s or blank Blu-ray discs. I stopped by Tracy’s apartment to see how packing is going. She had a whole pile of boxes in the middle of the floor of her den. You couldn’t even see the television.

“Where did you get all these boxes?” I asked Tracy, astonished.

“I went and bought them at the U-Haul store,” she replied.

She was truly excited about the arrangements. I have to say I am getting excited about them as well, though, still a tad bit apprehensive. It is definitely a big step in our relationship.

“Charlie’s getting the U-Haul truck tomorrow and we will be moving my and your furniture Saturday,” I told her. “He’s going to store my bedroom suite, couch, recliner, and entertainment center at his spare house in the garage.”

Tracy put a mound full of clothes in my trunk and on the back seat of my car to carry with me.

According to Tracy, you can never have too many shoes and I asked her where they are.

“They’re in boxes,” she told me with a smile and then told me not to say a word.

I playfully cajole her about her shoe addiction. I smiled feverishly when she told me not to say a word.

“What can I do to help?” I asked, looking hapless.

“If you and Charlie can get the furniture and boxes moved, then I can handle the rest,” Tracy told me much to my relief.

Although, I do dread moving all that furniture with a passion.

Now I Kiss Your Milky Skin…

Tracy’s lease on her apartment is up for renewal in March. We had a long talk about her moving in tonight. My main concern is if Maggie will accept Tracy’s cat, Wheezy. She’s not too fond of cats by any means.

I called Charlie and he said he would help us move Tracy’s furniture. Charlie is going to rent a big U-Haul truck so we only have to make one trip. My next call was to my father for him to lend me his ear. He said he saw nothing wrong with it.

“You two are grownups and know what’s best,” he told me. “This should certainly help with your loneliness. You act like a true grownup these days.”

Tracy can do no wrong in my father’s eyes which is a blessing. He adores her.

Tracy’s bedroom suite is much nicer than mine so we will have to move mine into storage. Her entertainment center is much nicer as well. Mine is a Walmart special from almost twenty years ago. The only thing I won’t give up is my queen sized bed in the back bedroom. Tracy’s bed is too soft and makes my back hurt.

Tracy left my house tonight saying she is going to start packing up boxes. So I guess it is no turning back now.

Quite a Supreme Storm Wouldn't You Say Sir?

It was absolutely pouring down rain when Maggie started to whine loudly. Thunder rolled loudly over my and Maggie’s home.

“What is it girl?” I asked intrigued as the thunder clapped loudly once again.

I thought maybe the storm was spooking her. I followed her into the laundry room where she stuck her head out the dog door in apprehension. She had to potty something badly. I chuckled.

“You can do it, but you’ve got to hurry,” I told her as if she could understand.

Maggie flew out that dog door faster than lickety split into the deluge and squatted on the nearest ground available. She tinkled and then headed back inside. I was still chuckling as I followed her back to the den.

“You do it girl!” I exclaimed as I rubbed her damp head.

Maggie then proceeded to use the couch as a towel much to my dismay.

Inebriation Kroger Style…

My father had told me earlier in the day that we would go grocery shopping at nine that evening. Well, nine rolled around and he still hadn’t called. I called him and he seemed startled and surprised as if he had been asleep.

“Is it nine already?” he asked.

“I am heading to Kroger to get started shopping,” I told him. “Are you coming on?”

“I am fixing to head that way,” my father replied, composing himself somewhat.

I waited over 30 minutes for my father to get to Kroger tonight so I could checkout. I was getting a little peeved and perturbed. I almost checked out myself and just waited on him to arrive in the parking lot telling him I’ve finished. Handing him the receipt in the process. As soon as I smelled his breath, I knew what was up.

“Dad,” I whispered closely in his ear. “You’ve had too much to drink. You don’t need to be driving like this.”

There were Kroger employees standing all around us. I was trying to be discreet. Dad had that glassy eyed look of someone who had one glass of wine too many.

“I am perfectly fine,” he replied, stumbling on his words.

I went on and loaded up my car with groceries while he did his shopping. I waited on him to leave the store and head for his car.

“Just please Jesus let me drive you home,” I pleaded with him as we walked across the parking lot.

About that time, a police car came pulling into the parking lot very near us. That seemed to have spooked my father into acquiescing.

“Maybe you’re right. Can we come and get my car in the morning?” he asked.

“We can come at seven if you so wish. Just let me drive you home.”

Dad put his groceries on my backseat and I took him to his house helping him carry all his groceries inside. In two bags were two more giant bottles of wine.

I honestly don’t think my father realizes how much he is drinking. He is drinking about half a very large bottle of wine a night.

Bummed Out, Dude…

I was on such a roll. Yesterday, I had walked a whole week. It drizzled rain all afternoon and tonight and I missed my walk. I didn’t help that the temperatures were hovering in the forties as well. Oh well, I guess I will pick up where I left off tomorrow. The temperature should be warmer as well.

Upside Down and All Around…

“Your sister and niece are here,” my father said over the phone this afternoon. “Come over to see them. We are about to eat some cake.”

Dad had baked a pineapple upside down cake for the occasion. Charlie and Janice were there as well. As usual, Charlie stole the limelight and was the center of attention. Poor Janice has to lurk in his shadow.

Well, the cake was delicious. I ate two slices. Charlie had two slices as well. Much gratuity was given to the cook.

“We’re headed to the pet store to get toys for my rabbit,” my little niece told me.

My sister and her daughter soon left for Auburn. Janice went home. And Charlie finally left as well not until he had one more piece of cake. This left dad and I sitting in the den watching old SNL skits on YouTube. I had to take my leave as well as a cigarette had my name on it at home.

Dad and Charlie should be headed out soon for Sunday night fried chicken. I’ve already alerted the Magster who is sitting in the window and whining.  

When You Need a Friend, Don’t Go To Strangers…

“What are you doing tonight?” I asked Tracy over our phones late yesterday afternoon.

“Nothing really,” she replied. “I was going to study some.”

“Let’s go out on a proper date,” I told her.

“That sounds wonderful,” she replied excitedly. “I’ll get dressed for such an occasion.”

I put on a button up shirt and some nice khaki pants. My svelte suede leather dockside Sebago's adorned my feet. I picked Tracy up around seven her time and we headed to the Zen House in town. I was in a mood for Chinese and Tracy and I needed to practice our chopstick skills.

“I love it when your spontaneous like tonight,” Tracy told me as we sat and ate our meal.

I get the same thing every time and that is General Tso’s chicken. Tracy got a spicy Szechuan dish herself. We had plenty of food leftover and our server boxed it up in takeaway boxes for us to take home. Chinese food is so economical as well. Tracy and I got full off of $25 dollars worth of food and drinks.

A Seat at the Table…

“Come over for breakfast!” my father said early this morning. “I’ve saved a seat at the table for you.”

I rushed through a quick shower and headed to my father’s house. He had cooked Clark Brother’s sausage, scrambled eggs, and homemade biscuits. The adornments were sharp cheddar cheese slices and strawberry preserves. It was a real treat as you all know how much I adore a big breakfast.

About the time we finished eating, Charlie walked through the back door.

“I’m cutting your hair tomorrow night so get ready!” Charlie told me. “And don’t forget I’m bringing you and Ms. Maggie biscuits in the morning.”

He then fixed himself some biscuits with butter and strawberry preserves. Charlie has an insatiable sweet tooth.

“John, these biscuits are delicious!” I heard him say. 

Afterwards, we retired to the den to watch The Weather Channel. You know I love the weather and weather watching, but The Weather Channel bores me for some reason. I guess because they never show local weather much and only show the weather in someone else’s backyard. Usually, there is nothing more boring than someone else’s weather unless it is something like a hurricane.

“Are you tired of sausage biscuits already?” Charlie asked me abruptly as we sat in the den.

Charlie asked me this a few months ago and I gave him the same answer. I noticed dad turned his head to look for my reaction. I had complained earlier that Maggie and I were tired of sausage biscuits every Sunday.

“Maggie and I are just glad to get them,” I replied mostly honestly.

What could I say? I’d rather get sausage biscuits than nothing. I do love it when they get the order wrong and we get bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits, though.  Nice surprises are the spice of life!

Dealing With Riff Raff…

I locked my front door and was about to start my walk for the day. Down my front steps I went. This black fellow was walking by my house just at that moment.

“Hey, Man!” he said brashly. “Give me a ride over to the housing projects.”

“Can’t,” I replied. “I am going for my daily walk and don’t have my car keys on me.”

He was giving me bad vibes anyway and I wouldn’t have given him a ride even if I was fixing to drive somewhere.

“It is cause I be black!” he callously retorted reeking of racism. “I see how you is going to be.”

“I wouldn’t give you a ride if you were a pretty Caucasian woman!” I replied with a harrumph.

I zipped up my jacket this chilly evening, tucked my hands in my pockets, and headed out for my walk. I hope he freezes his ass off on that long walk from my neighborhood. He was rude and uncouth.

On Loneliness…

I read the “The Homeless Guy” blog for a good many years. I don’t think I’ve read about a more lonely man than he and he was surrounded by people being homeless. He was always at odds with himself and the people around him. Millions read his blog and I don’t think he garnered not one lasting friendship out of the endeavor. People would try to befriend him, but he would eventually push them away. He was always so paranoid and suspicious of others.

When I was drinking, I never got lonely. John Barleycorn was my best friend and he kept me company. John Barleycorn was also the jealous type and I ended up not having one soul in my life who cared about me there at the end of my homeless career. I could understand what loneliness Kevin Barbieux felt. I later found George and the gang and they embraced me drunkenness and all. I had finally found some friends who were like me.

When I sobered up, I could no longer hang out with my drinking friends. We all went our separate ways. That’s when loneliness really hit me. When I sobered up.

I called my father tonight and asked him when we were taking his car to the shop to get a headlight fixed. I easily get lonely these days now that I do not drink. I was trying to get up something constructive to do this afternoon that would involve fellowship and comradery.

“I got it fixed earlier in the week,” he told me. “You must be lonely.”

“Yeah, a little bit,” I replied. “Tracy has class tonight after work.”

“I’ve got to go out to eat with a friend, Dave, and I will call you when we get back,” dad told me. “You can come and hang out with me and Samantha and drink you a Coke.”

I told him that sounded like a great deal! That sounded wonderful!

A Hair Bristling Experience…

I was on the very last leg of my daily walk when this silver SUV slowly pulled up nearby to me. The hair on my neck bristled with warnings of danger. It was almost dark outside and I couldn’t quite discern who it was in the bright headlights.

“Andrew! It’s Charlie!” Charlie said rolling down his window.

I laughed in complete and total relief.

“How far do you have to walk to finish?” Charlie asked me.

“Just a few hundred more yards up to the house,” I replied, huffing and puffing, almost out of breath.

I was doing some serious power walking tonight which also makes me feel self conscious. I think I look silly doing it like being a member of the ministry of silly walks ala Monte Python. .

“Get in the car, then. I’ve got you and Maggie some supper.”

I climbed in Charlie's car and away we went just up the hill to Andrew's casa. Charlie had gotten Maggie and I each a chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A before he left Auburn on his way home from work.

“There is plenty of that Polynesian sauce you so love in the bag,” Charlie told me.

I don’t know what misguided Charlie into thinking I love that Polynesian sauce so much. I like my Chick-fil-A sandwich with mayo and ketchup.

Charlie went straight for the kitchen like a man on a mission.

“Wait a minute while I clean your sink!” he told me eagerly.

I laughed in exasperation. I had just been washing dishes earlier in the day and hadn’t quite finished the job. Charlie scrubbed away while I changed out of my walking clothes into something more comfortable – a t-shirt and some shorts.

“It is so warm tonight!” Charlie said making small talk.

“It got up to 81° degrees today,” I replied to Charlie. “I noticed all the crickets were back out and chirping on my walk after being dormant for most of the winter..”

I asked Charlie about a William Fowler in the Air Force during Vietnam and he couldn't recollect anybody by that name. Sorry Sharyn. I tried!

Charlie also had Horsefly’s nightly chicken strips in the car and said he needed to deliver them before Horsefly got cranky.

Mr. Meaty…

Maggie started begging early this morning for something to eat other than her dogfood. I opened a can of Vienna sausages and warmed them up in the microwave. I set them on the floor in a paper bowl and they just vanished in a blink of the eye. That deemed her a hush puppy.

“I hope you’re happy!” I told Maggie brusquely.

I’ve got to find a way to get her back on her dogfood. She will act like she is dying, though, with incessant whining.

Last night, I drove over to my father’s house around 9pm. I was wanting some company and Tracy had left for the evening. Charlie was there when I arrived and I was excited to see him. I love to listen to my father and Charlie banter back and forth. It is music to my ears and often very comical. 

“I ate nothing but bananas when I was in Thailand during the Vietnam war,” he told us. “I couldn't stomach Thai food.”

Charlie was in the post office division of the Air Force during the war. He needed the G.I. Bill to pay for college so he enlisted.

My Tuna Helper was a Hit!

Tracy got off of work at 3pm and headed to my house. I already had supper bubbling away on the stove. It has been so nice to have her so close by.

“Let me let it cool and thicken and then we will eat,” I told her of the tuna concoction as Maggie vied for her affections.

The recipe called for 3 tablespoons of butter, but I just added a whole stick for good measure. I also added an extra cup and a half of milk instead of the requested cup and a half of hot water. Next, came some of the most beautiful broccoli florets I’ve ever seen. I can thank Green Giant for that.

I fixed Tracy and I two healthy bowls and sprinkled shredded cheddar cheese on top. Yes, it was a bazillion calories, but you have to splurge sometimes. Tracy thought it was delicious and she is not a big fan of tuna. I used white albacore tuna instead of regular tuna so it wouldn’t be so tuna fishy.

“How is your music appreciation class going?” I asked Tracy as we cuddled on the couch after supper.

“We’re in the medieval ages and listening to Gregorian chant,” she told me.

I told her how much I love Gregorian chant and how angelic it was.

“Remember the three B’s,” I told her and she looked at me perplexed. “Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms.”

In and Out…

I was a little early this morning when I arrived at the pharmacy to get my injection.

“I have to wait until nine to run it through your insurance,” my father told me.

I took a seat as this elderly lady took me under her wing and immediately started to make small talk with me. I was relieved when dad said my injection was ready. I made my way to Kamath Medical just down the highway.

“What do you do for fun?” Rebecca asked me grasping for answers this morning as I sat in an examining room.

“I play role playing games on my computer,” I told her. “They are much like interactive books. I can’t stand the run and gun type games that are so popular with the teenage and college crowd.”

“The kids keep me busy, but I like to curl up with a good book after they’ve gone to bed.”

I told Rebecca how industrious I’ve been about cleaning my house and car lately.

“I always say I am going to vacuum my car, but never get around to it,” Rebecca replied. “It is in pretty bad shape.”

When I arrived back at the pharmacy, Charlie was there. Charlie has the gift of the gab that I do not possess. When he steps in a room, he immediately becomes the center of attention. Charlie was there to pick up a prescription for Horsefly before he drove to Dadeville and work. 

Germain to the Issue…

I had just entered Kroger and grabbed a cart. I was studying my list calculating where to go first as I made forward progress.

“Andrew! ANDREW!” someone hollered behind my back as I headed towards produce.

It was Jermaine. I hadn’t seen him in many months.

“Where have you been?” I asked him after he spooked and startled me.

“I’ve been driving up to the Kroger in Lagrange lately,” Jermaine replied. “They have much, much better prices.”

Jermaine began to ramble on about women’s basketball and my eyes glazed over and I got that one hundred yard stare that usually accompanies it. In the middle of him talking about women's hoops, I said, “Gotta run, Jermaine! Gotta get my groceries before my father arrives! Sorry!”  I was out of there like lickety split. I did notice Jermaine had a gallon of whole milk and a gigantic pack of cheap vanilla cookies in the basket of his hover-round. He pulled in to checkout as I briskly walked away.

I went off my diet tonight and bought some delicious looking apple turnovers that were fresh baked in the bakery. I went even further off the deep end and got a quart of Neapolitan ice cream. I have a weakness for ice cream and I hadn’t eaten it in months. The very foundation of my house cracked when I brought them inside. There was a clap of thunder as the voice of god chastised me. For the Magster, I got two 6-packs of Vienna sausages.

It took dad forever to get there tonight. Wine had been served is what me thinks. Several Kroger employees asked me if I needed help as I stood haplessly with my loaded cart near a checkout lane for what seemed like 30 minutes.

Celebrating 1000 Posts of Maggie...

Charlie Proofing Your House…

I sometimes think Charlie was born to clean. He is always cleaning something over at his house. You can eat off of Charlie’s floors and counter tops. If he isn’t cleaning then he is doing some kind of busy work.

Every Sunday is the same routine. I have a good excuse to clean my house. About four in the afternoon, I get to cleaning the things Charlie would clean when he comes over. First and foremost is to see if Maggie’s food and water bowls are full to the brim. Secondly, I have to wash all my dishes and take out all the trash. Then comes sweeping the floors. Next, is the bathroom just in case someone has to use it. Charlie will spend 30 minutes cleaning it if it is in bad shape or the least bit dirty.

Speaking of the devil, Charlie just has called me to see what I wanted to eat tonight.

“Chicken sammich!” I exclaimed, laughing, which is a running joke between us. “Charlie, don’t forget to get Maggie a chicken sammich as well.”

Charlie says I am obsessed with chicken sandwiches these days.

“I wouldn’t forget Maggie for anything in the world,” Charlie told me and we got off the phone.

Watch the Water Just Bead and Roll Off…

It was another warm day – a day to get out and wax my car before the cold returns. It took me about hour and I was delighted at the results. My car now glistens in the sunlight with a mirror finish. Now, all I need are some of those Rain-X windshield wipers and my car will be in good shape.

The Wash-a-thon…

I told my dearest Tracy that if she brought her car by this afternoon that I would wash it. I washed mine as well and got it sparkling clean. They were both filthy after weeks and weeks of rain and cold weather. Tracy was very thankful as she stood in the yard as I put the finishing touches on her sporty, black Volkswagen Beetle turbo. I told her to stay out of any puddles and I would wax it next weekend.

“It will shine like glass,” I told her as I eagerly smiled.

I am going to wax mine tomorrow afternoon as the temperature climbs during the day. It got up to 65° degrees today and felt almost balmy. I keep telling myself that spring is about a month and a half away. Mid march will bring yellow daffodils and forsythias. 

Tonight, I took a long, wanton walk through the neighborhood. I used to walk all the time and could walk great distances. I feel hobbled with the foot I broke several years ago. It makes me have a lopsided gait. Still, I put in a good effort and walked about two miles tonight. I expect it will get easier the longer in time duration that I walk. My legs and feet felt good as I sat down in the den to rest upon my return home. Maggie gave me a good sniffing over and I know she wished she could’ve come. I walked yesterday evening as well. I am trying to make a habit of it as I need the regular exercise.

If I write about Maggie two more times, then I will have written about her a thousand times on the blog. I thought of doing a montage of pictures of her for the event – the event of a millennial Maggie.

Now, I am waiting on Father Brown to end and for the Saturday evening Britcoms to begin. I’ve already seen this episode of Father Brown.

Chili Dawg Charlie…

They say variety is the spice of life. I say nice surprises like tonight are the spice of life. I was walking out my door to my car to clean the interior when Charlie and dad pulled up in front of my house. I could hear Maggie madly barking inside at their arrival.

“What are y’all doing?” I asked inquisitively.

“We’re on our way to the bowling alley to pick up the Fly and your Papa fixed you a plate of supper,” Charlie said.

Dad got out of Charlie’s car, walked across my yard, and handed me two bags.

“One bag has two hotdogs full of chili,” he said. “You’re going to have to eat them with a fork I am afraid. The other bag has two diet Cokes and a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips.”

Well, I was just brim full of nice words to say about all of this. I thanked Charlie profusely and thanked my father profusely. I did indeed use that phrase about nice surprises being the spice of life.

Jet Setting Johnny…

Dad and I were talking on the phone last night.

“I might have a chance to go to Argentina,” he told me. “Your cousin Johnny is decorating a home in Mendocino and wants me to come along.”

“Go while you still have your health and your money,” I encouraged him.

“I am seriously thinking about it,” my father told me excitedly. “Johnny says you can see the Andes and all their glory from the town. The guy, Frank, who has the house owns a vineyard on the outskirts of town.”

“Well, you ought to really like that!” I exclaimed, laughing.

“Oh, hush!” dad told me sounding exasperated. “Do you think you will be okay if I am gone two weeks?”

“I will be fine,” I replied to him. “You go and have some fun. Have Charlie check on me every few days if it will make you feel better.”

“You’re still coming in the morning?” my father then asked me.

“I will be there at eleven,” I said. “I don’t want to miss out on diet Cokes and that blowhard, Dr. Phil.”