Welcomed Guests and More to Come…

Charlie was telling me tonight that he doesn’t have to do so much for me these days now that I am in control of my medications. Charlie would always have to bring my meds on the holidays or when dad was at a ballgame or out of town for some reason. He would also bring me something to eat and drink as usual.

“I was telling your daddy the same thing tonight,” he said. “We both agreed it was a good sign that you're doing well.”

“I take those medications religiously these days, Charlie,” I replied. “I think I do better now than I have in years.”

Charlie agreed giving me many accolades.

“You are like a different person, Andrew,” he said. “You volunteer, you don’t drink anymore, you keep a tidy house, you’re dating somebody, and you take your medications.”

Horsefly was pacing the house as we talked. He then got fixated on all the myriad of colorful old computer parts I have on a shelf in the computer room. I can’t bring myself to throw them away – always thinking of making an old Windows 98 machine. He wanted one to take with him. I gave him an old network interface card. I hated to part with it, but it was my least desirable part.

“How is Tracy doing?” Charlie then asked me after he thanked me for accommodating Horsefly.

“My girl is busy,” I replied with a smile as I sat back down in the den. “She works a full day five days a week and goes to class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights.”

“What is she going to school for?” asked Charlie.

“She wants to be a veterinary technician,” I replied. “She takes a lot of classes I couldn’t pass like chemistry. She’s pretty smart book wise.”

“You know that’s how I got my accounting degree,” Charlie said. “I worked in the mill during the day and took classes at night.”

“Well, we are headed to the bowling alley,” Charlie said. “Do you want to go bowling with us?”

“I better pass,” I told Charlie with a wink. “I am hoping some company will arrive tonight.”

A sly grin formed on Charlie’s face.

“Come on Horsefly. Let’s get you down at the bowling alley.”

Horsefly mumbled something incomprehensible and headed to Charlie’s car at the curb. Charlie gave me a hug goodbye and they were on their way.

A Wee Little Visit…

“I asked Horsefly who he wanted to visit tonight and he said you,” Charlie told me. “So here we are. He usually likes to visit with my sister Polly who lives around the block.”

Maggie was just going nuts at this fortuitous event. You’d think she won the lottery.

“Say hello to Maggie Horsefly,” Charlie said as he took a seat on the couch.

Horsefly paced my house turning the lights on and off in every room. Maggie was with him every step of the way following him.

“Look at her,” Charlie said of Maggie. “She loves him.”

“You would think Maggie would be scared of Horsefly because of his mannerisms and because he talks so loud,” I replied.

“Oh, I’ve got you two ice cold Cokes in the car,” Charlie then said abruptly. “Walk out to the car with me to get them.”

I was relieved when they were diet and not regular. This is something my father would never do – this little perk Charlie affords me. Dad would be doing good just to get over here in one piece and remembering where his keys were.

“That’s why he stays so slim,” Charlie then said of Horsefly. “He never stops walking. The only time he stops is when he is in the bed or watching Sesame Street.”

“Well, we are going bowling,” Charlie told me. “Do you want to go?”

“I would be gutter ball central!” I exclaimed with a loud laugh.

Charlie told Horsefly to come on and they headed out my door to Valley Bowl.

“Love you,” Charlie said as he passed me.

“Love you, too!” I replied extremely heartfeltly.  

An Evening With Horsefly…

Charlie and Janice had to go to a dinner party last night so Charlie asked me if I would take Horsefly bowling.

“He usually bowls 4 games,” Charlie told me. “Here is a towel as he will be in a sweaty mess when he finishes.”

I picked up Horsefly at 6 PM and away we went. Horsefly only sits in the backseat as if you were his chauffer.  

I bowled one game and bowled horribly at that. Horsefly would laugh when I bowled a gutter ball.

“Everybody bowls a gutter ball sometimes,” he said to me affectionately.

Horsefly bowled magnificently. One game he bowled all strikes and one spare. I also ate a hamburger from the concession stand. Our bowling alley has the best burgers in the Valley. Charlie said I reeked of onions when we got back to his house.

We went to Kentucky Fried and got his nightly chicken strips afterwards. Charlie had given me a chocolate Ensure drink for him to drink as well to get his vitamins and minerals. You can’t live on chicken strips alone.

I took him home about 8 PM and Charlie was on pins and needles.

“He didn’t try to pitch a temper tantrum, did he?” Charlie asked.

“Don’t worry,” I replied. “Things went perfectly fine.”

It was the least I could do for Charlie as much as he has done for me lately. This probably means I will be taking Horsefly bowling more often which suits me just fine.

Notes From the Medication Chronicles: Glory Be! Heavens to Betsy!

Well, look who came pulling up in front of my house as I sat at this computer. Maggie went nuts in the den and I sure knew it was Charlie then. The beta dog had returned home to great fanfare.

"Your Jewish friend has brought you a jumbo-sized coke at a minimal cost," Charlie said laughing as he walked across the yard.

The ex-large Cokes at McDonald's are only $1 dollar. This rivals any other fast food joint in the bunch.

Charlie gave me my medications and then had a moment of intimacy with Maggie on the couch. Maggie ate up every bit of this attention. I wonder if this is Maggie's version of heaven?

"Let me get your trash up and then I am taking Horsefly bowling," Charlie said. "He is sitting in the car and ready to go. Then we will eat our chicken tenders from KFC."

Charlie managed to wrangle up two big bags of trash and was soon headed out the door.

"Does Maggie have food and water?" Charlie asked as he was standing at my front door.

"She's got plenty," I replied. "Don't you worry. Maggie could live off of love."

"Love you," Charlie said.

"I love you, too, fella!" I told him.

And just like that, Charlie was gone. He walked across my front lawn and was soon on his way to take Horsefly bowling,

The Man with the Plan...

"I took a different route home this evening down hwy. 280 and up the interstate. I thought I would stop and get your favorite chicken sandwiches," Charlie told me walking across my yard. "You get Chick-fil-A tonight."

I thanked Charlie profusely and welcomed him inside for a moment. Maggie was putting up a fuss to see him.

Charlie then started looking for a stick and something to scrape his shoe with.

"What are you doing?" I asked Charlie as he sat down on my front steps.

"I just stepped in some goddamned dogshit in your yard!" Charlie exclaimed huffily. "Well, I'll be damned!"

It took all I could muster not to burst out laughing. It was the way Charlie said it. Charlie and my father have been known to have potty mouths.

"Well, it couldn't be Maggie as she only shits in the backyard," I replied not helping much.

Charlie took off his shoe and got to rubbing it in the grass until he was satisfied his loafer was clean.

"Bless your dear heart, Charlie," I said with a chuckle as he came inside to see Maggie.

Charlie's duties never end. Janice will have given Horsefly a bath this evening and they will soon be on their way to the bowling alley. They also have a stop at KFC for Horsefly's nightly chicken strips.

It it Almost Charlie Time...

I imagine Charlie is heading home from Dadeville about right now. It is a 44-mile drive home Charlie told me last night. That's one hell of a commute in my book. Charlie will drive a car into the ground.

Horsefly has to go bowling again tonight so I am pretty sure Charlie will stop by with medications around 9 pm while Horsefly is bowling. It always makes me cringe when Charlie leaves Horsefly alone like that.

I would love to be surprised by an early visit this afternoon, though. It would thrill me to death, but I am a realist and sometimes a pessimist as well about such matters.

Computer Warp Factor Nine...

I am scheming and putting together a new list of computer parts I need to get my computers up to speed. I started making this list on July 24 and it keeps evolving and changing. I want to get a loan out of my mother's money and pay my father back.

"What are you going to pay me back with?" my father is going to ask.

Well, according to my calculations, my father spends about $900 a year on sodas for me. I would pay him back by only drinking sodas bought with my money at Kroger which means I won't be drinking much soda for the foreseeable future. It is something I can do without, though. I will just drink tea like I am this week.

Grocery Shopping Charlie Style...

"I've already got horsefly at the bowling alley," Charlie told me hurriedly over the phone. "I want you to hook my Blu-Ray player to my television and then we are then headed to Kroger to do a little grocery shopping."

As I had surmised, Charlie took me on a wild grocery cart ride as we traversed Kroger plying their wares. The grand total was $94 dollars for which I winced.

"If your daddy bitches about what you spent then tell him it was my fault." Charlie reassuringly told me.

We then left Kroger to go get Horsefly at the bowling alley.

"Do you mind?" Charlie asked me about getting Horsefly. "We can kill two birds with one stone."

Horsefly was drenched with sweat for which Charlie had a towel ready. I sat inside the Caprica marveling at all the patrons of the bowling alley. They must being doing good business. It was always kind of rundown when I was growing up.

"Now, you stand at the screen door and I will bring your groceries to you," Charlie told me rummaging around in the back of his Caprica.

This was all for making sure the Magster didn't escape out into the wild wilderness that is my neighborhood.

"Shit!'' Charlie said. "The last thing we need tonight is to be chasing Maggie around the neighborhood.

Hello! My name is Andrew and I am a worry wart...

I am kicking myself in the arse for not buying groceries last night. I just didn't feel up to it -- my malfunctioning brain strikes again. My skin was crawling and I felt feverish with an equal dose of severe anxiety.

My main worry today is that Charlie can't go until 10 pm after Horsefly bowls and 10 pm is the time Kroger has only self-service open until 1 AM. Can Charlie and I get all my groceries on one of the self-service lanes? It is bugging the hell out of me.

A Well Choreographed Occurrence...

Charlie just called me driving home from work and assuaged my worries. We are going to get Horsefly bowling and then we are quickly heading to Kroger. We are going shopping at 9 PM. Charlie didn't like the idea of self-service as well. I promised Charlie it would only take me twenty minutes to shop.

An Imposter is Among Us!

http://www.fashionsort.com/

"That can't be dad," I told myself at the sound of very loud knocking on the front door, "It is way too early. Something must be wrong!"

It was almost 7 PM. Dad usually arrives around 10 pm these days. It was also too late for the Jehovah's witnesses as well. They go back to their spaceship around 6 PM.

I hadn't been awake for just a few moments and it took me a few moments to gather my wits about me. Maggie knew something good was up and immediately started to bark jubilantly and insistently at the front door. I opened the door and it was our humble Charlie who proceeded to make a grand entrance of himself -- boisterous would be a better adjective to describe our Charlie tonight..

"Hey Andrew! I am taking your fathers place this evening," Charlie told me.

Charlie was bearing gifts of a McDonald's double quarter pounder with cheese and a jumbo Coca-Cola. Charlie then immediately started to clean house after the medication ritual.

"I apologize Charlie. I know I am a terrible housekeeper," I told Charlie meekly.

"Yes you are, dammit!" Charlie said as he laughed.

It took Charlie to clean in 10 minutes whereas it would have taken me an hour.

"Horsefly is in the car and we are going bowling," Charlie told me. "Do you want to come with us?"

"I am going to stay home, but tell Horsefly to bowl his best game yet," I replied.