Helen’s Soul Food Friday Meal #1

I have hundreds of these photos of Helen’s Friday meal. I am going to start posting one a day so we can all reminisce back to the good old days. Here was my favorite Helen meal. Meatloaf, mac and cheese, cornbread, colored butterbeans, and steamed cabbage.

Sleep Overcome Me!

I just apprehensively drove to my father’s pharmacy feeling it was best to do what I was about to do face to face instead of on the phone. I needed relief and I needed it today. Friday’s are dad’s slow day with a co-pharmacist on duty. Mom says he sits in his office on the Internet and watching TV. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask for help in getting some sleep. The Ambien is just not working any longer and my Klonopin are like taking a placebo.

“Dad?” I asked as we walked out into the pharmacy away from the busy counter. “Do you have any thing over the counter I can take for sleep?”

“We both know you can’t take Benadryl,” dad replied as we surveyed all our options where the OTC medications are kept. “You’ve have addiction issues with it in the past. Tylenol PM and Advil PM all have Benadryl in them as the active sleep ingredient. 25mg of it.”

For years, dad gave me six Benadryl per night during our medication ritual. I would take all six and go to bed. It certainly did knock me out, but I don’t think taking six Benadryl at a time is such a good idea and not my most smartest of moments over the years.

“Let’s give you two Percogesic and take some Tylenol and aspirin,” dad finally said. “Now, the Percogesic is going to knock you out. Don’t take them and drive.”

I thanked dad profusely and gave him a hug. I would just about do anything for a full day’s sleep including going against my best inclinations and asking dad for help. Let’s hope the Percogesic do the trick.

Macaroni and Cheese Time…

I left the pharmacy and stopped by mom and dad’s to get my six diet Cokes for the day to put in the fridge for tonight at work. Helen was sitting out on the porch and drinking her a soda. It is Helen Fridays and i was anxious to find out just what Helen was cooking today.

“Your father surprised me,” Helen told me. “He wanted meat loaf, macaroni and cheese, fried okra, field peas and biscuits.”

Oh, my stomach started to grumble. I couldn’t wait for today’s meal to be ready this afternoon. Helen’s meat loaf and macaroni and cheese are divine!

“Tell mom not to wake me up!” I told Helen profusely. “Tell her I will pick up my plate when I wake up this afternoon.”

“I sure will, baby,” Helen replied. “Well, Mr. John will be home at three to eat so I better get cooking.”

Helen gave me a hug and told me to go home and get some good sleep. She said she would be thinking about me today. I told her I loved her and left to take my medications and go to bed. It is time to snuggle with my pups and go to sleep – the Percogesic I took thirty minutes ago already taking affect. I am about so sleepy I can barely stay awake.

A Lazy Afternoon in the South…

I was just standing in mom and dad’s kitchen as Helen cooked supper.  We finally had something fried this evening much to my elation.  Helen was cooking English peas with carrots, fried Swiss steak, baked potatoes, fruit salad, and biscuits.  Dad had just arrived home and changed clothes into his pajamas.

“Mr. John?  Are you going to bed?” Helen asked as dad passed through the kitchen to survey Helen’s meal.

Dad laughed.

“I am going out on the porch to read for awhile until supper is ready. I am just getting ready to relax.”

Dad and I don’t say much to each other these days. We just chose to disagree about the course I am taking with my life. Dad worries about my retirement and disability ending in May. I finally got him to go online to read all the guidelines with disability and that diffused the situation some when he realized I wasn’t going to lose disability and Medicare any day now.

“Are you still feeling depressed?” mom asked from the den as she sat reading the fourth and final book of the Twilight series.

I had made a passing remark to her yesterday that I was sleeping a lot.  She took this as I was depressed as she often is when she sleeps all day.

“I am just tired,” I told her. “It has been a busy past few months. I am still getting used to working nights.”

“I think you are doing the right thing despite what Mr. John says,” Helen told me, never one to hold back “A grown man needs to work and support himself.”

I smiled and gave Helen a big hug as she giggled.

I looked on as Helen added mayonnaise to the fruit cocktail and began to mix.  She also started to cut up some bananas to add to the fruit salad.

“Tell me about your new job,” Helen said as she walked over to the stove to turn the frying steak.

“I work in electronics and love playing with all the gadgets we sell,” I replied. “It can be pretty slow customer-wise at night, though.”

Just then, Helen’s cellphone rang. It was her son who is a truck driver and on the road most of the time. I took this as my cue to leave with mom telling me she would bring me my plate later in the afternoon.  It was just one of those lazy and normal afternoons in the late summer of the South.  I enjoy these kinds of moments so much.

George is Home…

Mrs. Florene called me a moment ago.  They went and picked George up at the county jail. He is already complaining about how uncomfortable his monitoring device is she said.

“He’s lost a lot of weight,” Mrs. Florene told me. “He looks so skinny!”

“Put him on the phone,” I told her.

“What’s up you crazy motherfucker!!!!” George exclaimed laughing.

I could hear Mrs.Florene telling him not to talk like that in her house. It seems like he never left. I laughed.

“How does it feel to be a free man?” I asked him.

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” George told me. “I feel like a caged animal whose door just got opened and he is afraid to go out!”

“Take a long walk, smoke a bazillion cigars, and enjoy the fresh air!” I exclaimed.

“When are we getting together?” George asked.

“I will be over tonight before work,” I told him. “Be forewarned as I am going to give you a big bear hug!”

George laughed nervously.

“You haven’t turned gay on me, have you?”

“Only for you, you sexy thang!” I replied.

We got off the phone.  I still can’t believe he is home.  He sounded so good, as if he never left. We’ve all been waiting for this moment for a very long time. I thought September 9th would never get here.  Well, mom should be by soon with Helen’s Friday meal and my diet Sprite. I am going to eat and take a quick nap before going over to see George.

Helen Friday’s…

Mom just stopped by with Helen’s meal today.  This afternoon, she cooked turnip greens, Brussels sprouts, sweet potato patties, baked chicken and cornbread.  I am going to eat and then head to bed – my Ambien and Klonopin already hitting hard. 

It’s Just One of Those Days…

It was so disconcerting today to feel such anxiety after such a good day yesterday.  The whims of my brain and body are like a turbulent and fickle Southern storm.  I felt extreme anxiety all throughout my time at work this morning – my heart beating furiously in my chest and I felt this clammy cold feeling with my extremities tingling all day. I realized it had been almost two weeks since I got that injection of Risperdal and my medication levels were steadily dropping.  I decided I was having withdrawal symptoms from the lack of all that medication – hoping it wasn’t mental illness.  It would be Tuesday night from the advice of my psychiatrist before I could start taking my 2mg of Risperdal in pill form again.  Even the beeping tone of my phone signaling I had a text message from Stacey sent my heart reeling. It was so scary and I couldn’t wait to get home to rest and lie down to calm my heart and mind.  I didn’t linger at work in electronics as I sometimes do when 1pm rolled around and headed straight for home.

Meals on Wheels…

Helen cooked today after a two week hiatus. Mom came by with a plate of baked, not fried?!, pork chops, green beans, corn casserole, fried okra, and cornbread. There was also a small bowl of pear salad – my father insisting on having a salad with every meal.  I was dismayed when Helen didn’t use “fat back” to season the green beans as she normally does – fat back being salted pork – a Southern tradition and giving the vegetables a wonderful if greasy taste.  President Taft once said of one of his visits to the South that they served him “greasy vegetables” and “bread made from ground desiccated corn”.  What an interesting way to describe Southern cooking for a Northerner.  I will be glad when mom and dad are both off their diets and Helen can get back to her true Southern cooking form.

“Put your plate in the fridge and let’s go for a drive down through the Valley,” mom said as I stood out by her new car. “I need someone to talk to.”

My heart was still pounding in my chest at the moment, but I decided to go.  I thought it would be good to get out of the house and be with mom – hoping talking to her would calm me.  The words of my psychiatrist to “work” through these anxiety situations echoed in my mind   I was relieved when mom insisted on driving although I was very wary that mom’s driving would cause more anxiety for me.  Every time I ride with her behind the wheel, she always has a few close calls with other vehicles on the road.  I call them my “Oh Shit!” moments.

Mom left my house and decided it would be nice to drive to Fat Albert’s to get some drinks and those little miniature pecan pies they sell in the South. We pulled up at Fat Albert’s and mom handed me a ten dollar bill urging me to make the purchase while she sat in the car. “I can’t walk that far,” she said. As I walked in and got my items, I noticed how busy Fat Albert’s was with only one register open and it was the lottery specific register. I moaned.  A long line had formed behind one lady who was spending hundreds of dollars on lottery tickets.  I watched on at this very convoluted and complicated affair as the lady made one purchase after another throwing her money away. 

“All these damn lottery people need to work for a living for their money like me,” the burly man behind me said extremely loudly, tired and annoyed at waiting. “They are wasting their money!”

The lady at the register glared menacingly at the man and rolled her eyes.  This sent my social anxieties reeling.  I was so afraid I was going to get caught in the middle of a confrontation and argument.

Mom then walked into the store after about 10 minutes with an exasperated look on her face.  The line still hadn’t moved in that time.

“What’s taking so long?” she asked.

I rolled my eyes as well and pointed to the lady at the register saying lottery.

“Put the stuff back and we will just drive to your father’s pharmacy to get our drinks.”

I was so relieved to get back in the safe confines of mom’s car. We were soon on our way down the Valley to dad’s store. I sat in the car telling mom I was “shaky” as mom went inside the Pharmacy to get our drinks.  She also got us two small bags of Cheez-Its to eat as a snack.  We were then on our way to Fairfax, Alabama which is just down the road from dad’s place of business.

“I had an argument with your father last night over me taking pain pills,” mom told me. “I want to get an appointment with Dr. Mona to get some pills to take for my back and leg.  He said I couldn’t and I told him I was going to anyway.  I am tired of hurting.  It is not normal for me to hurt all the time like that.  He says it is just because I am fat and I need to lose weight.”

I was surprised at my mom’s assertiveness.  I told her she should be able to decide what she takes or not.  Not dad.

“Your father said I will take them like I take my Xanax,” she then went on to tell me. “He will only let me have three Xanax per night now.  He carefully controls my medications.”

I sighed.  Mom is in the same predicament I was in for all those years.  I didn't know much what to say other than she is just going to have to fight back.  Dad doesn’t like his comfortable little quiet world to be upset and won’t take mom arguing for long before he will give in to keep the peace as he did with me eventually.  Mom is so afraid he will divorce her she is so dependent upon him for everything.    

We were gone for about an hour. I was relieved to arrive back home and immediately curled up in my Lay-Z-Boy and calmed down some. I couldn’t even take the TV being on.  By this time, my heart was beating so furiously I thought it would bound out of my chest.  I finally decided that sometimes it is just not best to “work” through my anxiety issues and to just stay home and rest.      

Enter The Helen…

Helen just called me.  I was busy hanging curtains in my bedroom to make the room dark for Maggie to sleep during the day. 

“What do you want for supper, baby?” Helen asked. “Your daddy didn’t leave me a list today.”

I thought for a long second.  I have been craving a spaghetti supper, but dad’s words that Helen doesn’t cook well with recipes was in the back of my mind.

“Helen?  Do you ever cook spaghetti?” I asked.

“Sure sweetheart,” she said. “My son loves my spaghetti.”

“Cook that, some toasted garlic French bread, and a Caesar salad.”

“That sounds good!” Helen exclaimed as she then told me she was heading to the grocery store.

I haven’t done much today.  I got up at four as is my usual custom and listened to the tail end of Coast to Coast AM.   I was back in the bed around five and slept until ten.   I am now waiting on my diet Cokes to get cold in the freezer before I imbibe.   It is supposed to be really hot today – around ninety degrees.  This will keep me and Maggie inside I am sure.  

Midday Report…

Those Dastardly Telemarketers…

“You’ve got to help me with these telemarketers,” mom just said a moment ago on the phone. “I can’t sleep for the phone ringing.  I’ve gotten where I don’t even answer the phone.”

“I’ll put you on the National Do Not Call Registry,” I replied. “I can do it over the internet.”

“Really?” mom asked excitedly. “It is that easy?”

“It will take me two minutes tops to do it, but it may take a few days to go through.”

You could hear mom sigh with relief.  “They are driving me crazy!”

“Oh mom,” I then said. “Put some super glue in your car for when you bring Helen’s meal.”

“What for?”

“I think I can fix my subwoofer. That will save $250 dollars.”

Mom told me to hold on a second as she rummaged through her bedside drawer for super glue.  I had already told her about it being broken earlier and she said she doubted dad would buy me another one.  Necessity is the mother of all invention as they say.  Mom told me she had some and was going then to put it in the car so she wouldn’t forget it.

I can’t wait for Helen’s meal.  We are having meatloaf (my favorite), English peas, creamed potatoes, and biscuits.  Helen is also cooking a lemon meringue pie. 

“Oh,” mom said before I hung up. “Come over this afternoon and watch Oprah with me.”

I smiled, but I don’t like Oprah.  I will be there anyway just to spend some time with mom.  We will talk more than we will watch the TV. 

Helen Friday…

I really missed Helen’s meal last Friday when mom and dad were in Washington D.C.  Today, Helen cooked just what I asked dad for her to cook.  Fried chicken, creamed potatoes, butterbeans, and biscuits.  Not pictured is a bowl of fresh carrot salad which Maggie can’t have because it has raisins in it. 

Helen Friday…

Helen cooks much the same things every week, but I love it.  It is comforting.  Today, we had fried pork cutlet, yellow saffron rice, butterbeans, baked sweet potato, green salad with ranch dressing, and cornbread.  I don’t care for the yellow rice so Maggie got that.  Everything else was delicious!

My Thoughts for the Day…

Time for a Z-Pack…

“Dr. K called me tonight,” dad told me during our medication ritual yesterday.  “Your CAT brain scan results came back.  He was worried about brain tumors, but you have the worst sinus infection he has ever seen in the thirty years of his practice.  No wonder you’ve been miserable.  Apparently, you’ve had lots of pressure on your brain.”

I sighed with relief.  I was also worried about tumors.  I was exhibiting some of the classic signs.  They run in the family.  Dad and my doctor started me on a Z-pack of heavy duty antibiotics.  I already feel better this morning with lessened pain and pressure on the right side of my face.

Earlier in the week, mom and dad took turns with staying with me at night.  Mom called me after I had regained some of my sanity and said, “You would just start talking in your sleep like someone was there besides me.  It scared me.  You were really acting crazy!”

Helen Friday…

Dad is getting Helen to cook fried chicken livers today.  I used to love fried chicken livers dipped in ketchup.  Somehow, I have lost the taste for them over the years. 

“Get Helen to cook some fried chicken fingers as well,” I told dad last night.  “I don’t much care for livers anymore.”

“Be sure to put some chicken livers on my plate, though,” I then told dad. “Maggie loves them.”

Dad smiled and said he would.  I can’t wait until 3pm rolls around and I get to eat my chicken fingers and country vegetables. 

Helen Friday…

Helen cooked baked chicken breasts, yellow saffron rice, giant lima beans, Brussels' sprouts, and cornbread today. 

My Thoughts for the Blogging Day…

Happy Birthday Maggie!!!

Today marks as what I believe is Maggie’s fifth year of living with me.  I will never forget dad standing at the backdoor of my late grandmother’s house where I was living at the time.  Maggie fit in the palm of his hand.  It was one of the biggest surprises of my life.   I love this dog.  I *heart* Maggie!  She has brought immeasurable joy to the life of this simple man.

  

A Welcomed Turn of Events…

I slept until seven this morning.  It was much needed.  I usually get up at three or four.  I feel so much better.   I have been pacing the floor though.  I drove over to get my sodas and medicine and paced until I sat down to write this post.

I usually listen to the Elvis Duran radio show every morning.  It has grown tiresome, though, other than their phone pranks.  I realized today that all they talk about is sex and relationships – all things foreign to me.  I have little interest in such topics.  I then tuned into New Zealand’s ZM radio for their overnight mix of music. It is 3am Saturday currently there.  Much better.  They play less Lady Gaga  and other American music after midnight there.

Trepidations abound about Tuesday and this upcoming injection of Risperdal.   I will be on the 25mg dosage instead of my usual 50mg dosage.  How will I do?  I am already having lots of symptoms as this week progressed.   Will my sex drive return?  I have told George, that incredibly sexual creature, and he eagerly awaits the results.  

Today is Helen Friday.  I have no idea what Helen is cooking today.  I told dad to leave it up to her.  I wanted a surprise and Helen has good taste in Soul Food. 

Mom or Helen usually brings me my plate since Helen quit cooking at my house months ago.  I am still trying to lessen my impact upon mom and called her last night to remind her that I will drive over and pick up my meal.   I eagerly await 3pm to roll around so I can eat.  It gives me something to look forward to.   

My Thoughts for the End of the Day…

Helen Friday…

 Helen’s meal was wonderful tonight.  We had fried white fish, hushpuppies, French fries, cole slaw, and a platter of sliced onions and dill pickles.  Mom and I both dug in as dad was carefully tread through his meal.  “I am going to have the worst heartburn tonight,” he said.  “You and your  mother just had to have this meal.”

Medications…

Dad gave me two extra Risperdal tonight  after our meal to take before bed.  I have already taken both and the constant car door shutting sound has gone away for the night much to my relief.  I will literally jump every time I hear it as it piques my social anxieties and I feel I will have to deal with company or strangers.  You would be surprised at how often a stranger will knock on my door in this upper lower class neighborhood.  

Another Day Dawns…

Neighborly Bliss…

The amount of traffic to and fro from my former drug dealing neighbor’s house has dropped by about 90%.  It has been uncannily quiet over there these days.  He came over to talk to me late yesterday afternoon.  He wanted to know if the shrubbery between our houses was his or mine.  “It’s yours,” I told him.  He seems like a personable and nice enough guy.  Maybe the economy forced him into selling drugs.  I don’t know, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt.  He started to trim the shrubbery around his house and I didn’t have the heart to tell him he should have done that in the fall and not the spring.  I hope all his shrubbery doesn’t die.

Helen Friday…

Mom quickly queued in on my wanting Helen’s Friday fish fry today.  She has made sure Helen has that special kind of white fish she has to have from the Piggly Wiggly.  “You’ve stirred up a hornet’s nest with regards to your mother and that meal,” dad told me. “Your mother is obsessed now.  She has just been wild about getting that fish for Helen.”  That’s the kind of dogged determination mom is so well known for in the family. 

Helen Friday…

“Baby? Do you have any ketchup?” Helen asked over the phone.

“No,” I replied. “I am out.”

“I am sending some with your dinner plate.  Your mother is on her way.  I put you an extra table spoonful of each vegetable as well.  I hope you enjoy it.”

Vegetables?  I thought we were having fried fish Friday.  It turns out Helen couldn’t find that special kind of fish she uses so she picked a different menu instead.  We had fried pork cutlet, corn pudding, green beans with potatoes and cornbread.   I must say the corn pudding was spectacular as that was the first time Helen had ever fixed that.    

Thoughts for the Day…

Charlie’s Horsefly…

Charlie’s out of town so dad had Horsefly last night – Charlie’s youngest son.  Horsefly is autistic and mentally retarded.  He speaks a language all his own and only a few people can decipher it including dad, me, my brother, and Charlie.  Well, Maggie is so intrigued by Horsefly.  She was scared at first as he talks so loudly and it sounds like gibberish.  Now, Maggie is comfortable around him, but she knows something is not quite right.  She will follow him from room to room worried about him.  It is endearing in a way.  Dad marveled at Maggie and Horsefly last night saying what a smart dog Maggie is.  “She knows something is wrong,” dad said as he sat on the couch.

The Call of the Car…

I made the mistake of telling George yesterday that I can rebuild carburetors.  Well, George has already ordered a rebuild kit at a local auto parts store and wants me to rebuild the two barrel carburetor on his new Caprice.  I reluctantly agreed.  It will give me something to do at night for about a week.  It is an intricate process though.  I hope I don’t  screw it up.  It has been years since I fiddled with one.

Grocery Day…

Today is one of my favorite days – grocery day.  My only requests were two large cans of tuna, dill pickle relish, and more Louisiana hot sauce.  Mom will fill in the blanks so to speak.  Mom will always buy me something new and interesting and I look forward to that.   We are also continuing our fruit and vegetable theme – me doing so well lately on that diet.  I really think my healthy diet lately has improved my mental health, and it really helps me not practicing the bulimia anymore either.   I realized I was malnourished.

Helen Friday – Thinking Ahead…

Dad asked me last night what I wanted Helen to fix for this Friday’s supper.  “Have Helen cook her fried fish supper,” I said. “I want fish, french fries, hushpuppies, and cole slaw.”  Dad thought it was a great idea and said we would have it if Helen could find that special kind of fish she has to have to prepare it.  You can only find it at the Piggly Wiggly. 

Helen Friday…

Helen didn’t cook the creamed potatoes.  Dad thought turnip greens and macaroni and cheese was enough.  She cooked some of the best fried chicken I had had in ages.  Helen’s cornbread was different again this week.   She seems to be trying different recipes.  I will have to ask dad about it.