This is Where the Fun Begins...

In addition to the mac and cheese and meatloaf yesterday, we had buttery creamed potatoes, turnip greens, and earthy mashed rutabagas.  A total soul food extravaganza!

I just ate my savory lunch and was overjoyed when Helen liberally sprinkled hot pepper sauce all over my turnip greens and the rutabagas. Vinegary and spicy! Just the way I like them.

"I hope you like deviled eggs," dad told me a little while ago over our phones. "Your mother is sending you six of them. I am also sending you some of Charlie's chocolate pie he cooked for your brother's birthday last night. It is divine!"

"Bring it on!" I said excitedly as my father laughed.

"It is amazing we are all not 300 pounds the way we eat," my father replied as his tone turned to seriousness.

Maggie knew something was up as soon as I locked the front door after arriving home from my parent's house and headed to the kitchen with two big Tupperware containers of food and another sack of assorted goodies. Maggie was right behind me. She started to beg like crazy so I gave her a big slice of meatloaf which she relished and almost literally inhaled in hungry dog fashion.

"Maggie, you didn't even give the food time to taste it!"

image credit:  http://www.tasteofsouthern.com/mashed-rutabagas/

Charlie’s My Main Man!

“Son?” my father asked last night. “You are going to have to come on a regular schedule to get these cokes.  It is going to drive your mother crazy. You know how she is about such things. It sets off her OCD!”

I cracked a smile and chuckled as I shyly looked at my feet.

“I’m serious!”  my father amended. “And you’ve got to take this serious as well!”

I was just over to get my sodas and mom was at the door.  Charlie had brought both her and I barbecue chicken plates from the Lion’s Club and they were delicious.

“That’s the best Chicken-Q plate I’ve ever had,” mom said.

I got my drinks and Helen to-go plates for which my mother was very pleased and told her about the prank I played on my father the other day.

“I bet your daddy was about to come over there and kill you for that,” mom said looking aghast.

I then ran into good ole Charlie.  Charlie was unloading copious amounts of bottled water out of his Caprica when I caught him at my grandmother’s former house.  Now his house. It must’ve been on sale somewhere.  Charlie can sniff out a good deal about as well as a rat does with cheese.

“Charlie?” I cautiously asked. “Dad is at the ballgame.  Are you bringing my medications?”

I am dealing with some really high strung folks as far as my mother and Charlie are concerned.  I have to be careful.

“Well no,” Charlie said, looking stymied. “Do you need them?”

“Hell!” Charlie said interrupting himself. “I’ll bring them over at 3pm! Your daddy might not get home till 10pm tonight.”

That was a load off my shoulders to hear him say that. I would’ve been a miserable little wretch having to wait that long to get my meds.  Halloween would have ended early.  I was sporting a Cheshire grin as I climbed into my car – my master plan for the day was coming together.  Charlie keeps a current supply of my medications in case something happens to my father and he couldn’t get here.

Photo Credit:   http://health.howstuffworks.com/medicine/medication/10-off-label-uses-antidepressants.htm

Photo Credit #2:  http://alabamatruth.com/tag/brain/

Post Helen…

Helen fried pork chops and cooked turnip greens, rutabagas, deviled eggs, cornbread, and baked sweet potatoes yesterday.  Have you ever tried a baked sweet potato?  If not, then you are missing out on a really neat treat.  They are so sweet, rich, creamy, and delicious.

“You’ve got a lot of food over here.  You need to come and pick it up,” my father told me in the last hour over my phone.

I asked my father if Auburn was playing today and he chastised me for not knowing Auburn was on sabbatical this week. Oh, well. Rome wasn’t built in a day and I am a work in progress as far as football goes.

I then hurried over to my parent’s with dreams and grand delusions of mounds of pork chops.  There were only four fried pork chops and that’s certainly okay.  I am going to make sandwiches out of them throughout the day.

The Guy Bringing Sausage Biscuits Called Me…

“How long have you been bringing me breakfast on Sunday mornings?”  I asked Charlie a moment ago on another phone call.

“It has been about two years,” Charlie replied.  “I’ll see you in the morning around 9pm.”

That was short and sweet.  I told Charlie to be sure and knock on the door even if I am asleep.  Maggie will probably wake me anyway, but I certainly don’t want ants in my biscuits again.

Photo Credit:   http://www.drgourmet.com/askdrgourmet/diabetic-sweetpotato.shtml#.Vhk3WHpVhBc

Blessings Heaped Upon Charlie…

I was just over getting my diet Cokes for the day.  My father was in the kitchen putting the final touches upon a cheesy chili dip he was taking to my sister’s house for game day. There was a big bag of Fritos on the kitchen counter. I looked on extremely hungrily.  The smells were truly intoxicating.

“No beans?” I asked of the dip.

“You know we don’t like beans in our chili,” my father replied.

I immediately thought of my friend, Jennifer. 

I reached into my parent’s refrigerator to grab my Helen to-go plates.  They were very heavy which bode promising that there was a lot of leftover food. I was especially keen on getting more of that glow in the dark yellow saffron rice Helen cooks to perfection.

“Charlie’s bringing your medications at 4pm before he takes Horsefly to the movies,” my father told me as I was leaving.

No sweeter words could have been spoken by anybody in recent memory.  I nervously thought it would be 10pm or 11pm tonight before I would get my medications because of football which takes precedence over such things in my world. 

Photo credit:   http://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/2010/02/chili-cream-cheese-dip-or-ghetto-dip.html

Odd Man Out!

Saturdays in the fall are when my usually normal, sane, and extremely intelligent male members of my family are turned into Neolithic cavemen and blathering fools. My brother and father will actually shed tears over a loss by Auburn.

Somehow, I did not get the football/gladiator gene and can think of a thousand more pleasing things to do than watch a leather ball thrown about a field by men in tights. Do I sound bitter? Actually, it is just that I do not care and I just can’t understand the fervor heaped upon these games.

Photo Credit:  http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1759633-auburn-football-ellis-johnsons-4-2-5-defense-is-a-game-changer-for-tigers

Help! A Podiatrist Please?

Yesterday, I was exiting my parent’s house with my arms full of food containers. I had too much to carry. Sometimes, I can be a total dumbass as well. I should’ve made two trips. Well, I got halfway down the back deck steps and fell. Hard.  I twisted my foot something terribly and can barely walk on it.

“Do you want to go to urgent care?” Charlie asked me worriedly last night.

“Let’s wait a few days and see if it heals,” I replied.  “Charlie?  Don’t tell mom or she will obsess over this like crazy.”

At one point, the pain was incredibly painful and excruciating, but now feels mostly sore. I do hope my foot is not broken.  It is swollen to almost double the size as my right foot.

Charlie just has brought breakfast.  He also said he is going on a scavenger hunt today to find me some decent crutches.   Charlie is so kind.  He has now left to go get my sodas from mom knowing I can barely walk and that I can’t do it..

Photo credit:    http://www.emirates247.com/news/world/singer-walks-2-700km-on-broken-foot-2010-08-03-1.274312

Poor Wonky Me!

I woke up at 6:45am with an awful headache.  I never get headaches, but this one was a bugger. I felt like I had a night out drinking and was sobering up.   I took three Excedrin which have caffeine in them and soon went back to bed after playing WarCraft for an hour.  I chalked it up to a caffeine deficiency headache. 

11pm rolled around and I was still laying in the bed as Maggie groomed herself noisily next to me – a lot of grunts and snorting going on as she digged at her cooties.  I begrudgingly got up and put on some clothes.  Luckily, my headache was mostly gone, but I was still feeling a little wonky. 

I headed straight to the kitchen as soon as I had gotten woke up good.  My beloved cold pizza awaited me in a box.  I tell you and I am not exaggerating that Johnny’s pizza has to be some of the best pizza in the South.  I felt much better with something on my stomach although it was terrible for my diet.  Sometimes, you just have to revel in defeat and not victory.  I have lost 5 pounds to my credit.

I then called mom to see if she would put out my Helen to-go plates along with my sodas.  The drive to my parent’s house was quick and painless – no traffic to contend with.  I greedily grabbed my armful of drinks and containers of food, and then headed home. Helen had cooked fried pork cutlets, spinach and sliced boiled eggs,  cut lake green beans, deviled eggs, cornbread, and yellow corn niblets.  As you can see, it is not very photogenic, but it tasted delicious.

Photo credit:  http://www.everywherefare.com/kotlet-schabowy-polish-breaded-pork-cutlets/