Where Art Thou Fred's?

I haven’t been in Fred’s in a few days which is rather odd for me.  Sometimes, I just need that cheap dollar store experience.  The main reason I went this afternoon was to get some more hard candy.  I’ve had terrible cigarette cravings lately that have come out of no where it sometimes seems. I had to quit smoking cigars as I think they were also triggering the cravings.  I just don’t have the self control right now to keep from smoking at the moment and needed some help. I also got a canister of roasted cocktail peanuts.  I love to snack on those things! I keep the salty can of peanuts by the computer.

“How are you, honey?” McGruff said to me looking over her reading glasses as I stepped up for my turn at the register.

I smiled back and told her it was good to see her. You could almost see her grumpy old heart melt.  Just don’t have a return as all hell breaks loose.

That Concentration Camp Look…

This morning I stepped on my scales for my daily weigh in.  I weighed 195 pounds and I am 6 foot 3 inches.  I’ve lost a lot of weight lately – over twenty pounds.  Dad was noticing it in my cheeks last night saying they looked sunken in.

“Don’t get the concentration camp look going on again,” he told me callously and without a heart.

“I just haven’t been that hungry lately,” I told my father honestly. “I put everything I cook in the freezer.”

My father sees it as if a schizophrenic calamity is on the horizon. He sees it as signs of imminent doom.

You know what would be awesomely delicious to me right now?  An extra meaty meat sauce with lots of grated parmesan cheese added and sopped up with slices of toasted Sunbeam old fashioned sandwich bread.  I think I will cook an extra batch of meat sauce just for that this evening (If I can afford the extra tomato sauce and ground chuck!).

photo credit:  http://rusnakfamilydentistry.com/candy-thats-scary-bad-for-your-teeth-this-halloween/

photo credit #2:  http://www.jugglingwithjulia.com/2013/01/08/thick-and-hearty-meat-sauce/

I’ve Got the Vapors…

Dad called at eight.  “Remember you’ve got your shot this morning,” he said. “I’ll see you at the store at nine.”

“Dad, I can’t make it,”  I said sounding weak. “I’ve got the vapors.”

“Just WTF is the vapors?” he asked aggravated. “You’ve got to get your shot. I’m sending Tim to pick you up.”

“GOTCHA!!!!” I exclaimed. “I was just pulling your leg.”

Dad and I both laughed and laughed.

“You really had me going,” he said. “You are a card sometimes.”

Daily Musings…

I slept for nine hours last night.  I’ve had insomnia for weeks just sleeping a few hours at a time.  I look forward to feeling rested today.  Maggie slept with me for the full nine hours as well.  I guess she is in tune with me and my moods and was tired as well.  She is usually up when I am up. 

My breakfast this morning was stuffed cabbage with mashed potatoes.  It was a Lean Cuisine meal and it was exceptionally good.  Dad weighed me this morning and I weighed 178 pounds so I am gaining weight.  Our goal is 185.  Holding it at 185 is going to be hard though. 

Sneaky Mom…

Mom dropped her purse over at the house yesterday when she was giving me my fast food supper.  A bunch of stuff fell out including a prescription bottle.  I picked up the prescription bottle before she could protest and it was just full of Xanax.  Dad only allows mom 3 Xanax a night as she is like me and will abuse them.

“Where did you get these?” I asked. “You know dad would be livid.”

“I went to a different doctor and got another prescription for Xanax,” mom said. “My brother, Steve, fills them for me out at his pharmacy.”

I sighed, worried.  “No wonder you’ve been sounding drunk in the mornings when I call.”

“I can’t sleep!!!” mom protested.

What do I do?  Tell dad?  Cause a ruckus? Or just keep quiet and let mom sleep.  I am worried she will try to drive after taking many and get a DUI.