Finis, Goodbyes, and Farewells...

http://www.wisegeek.com/

Mr. Bradshaw, the minister at the funeral service today, quoted my somewhat interesting words regarding my mother and heaven. Dad loves to hear me say it as well. He says I have an insight to my mother's actions and thoughts that they are clueless about.

"John's eldest son said god has a new secretary today and there are appointments to be made in heaven."

I can imagine my mother looking at her celestial and heavenly calendar making appointments. I told dad we are going to have to pencil in his heartworm medications as well. LOL! Mom was always so stalwart and fastidious about Maggie getting her medications.

Groceries? There is absolutely nothing to eat in this house. I am hoping Charlie will call me and then we will head to Kroger. I am not brave enough  just to go get them and use my debit card. Dad doesn't need any more hassles or worries today as well. 

There Are Many Things On My Plate Tonight...

http://www.easy-outdoor-decor.com/

The photo of the house is not mine, but I thought it was beautiful. 

Various things are going on tonight at Casa de Andrew. I finished installing all my outside lights with quite a big scare on my step ladder as I had almost fallen. I realized then if I wasn't more careful then I would spend Christmas in a cast or a wheelchair which wouldn't be very fun. It is hard to build and install computer parts when you can't get out of a wheelchair.

Flash Forward to Tonight...

"Oh, I love your lights!" my father said very excitedly and proudly as he walked across my front yard on his nightly visit. Maggie was barking like crazy when she only gave us a lackluster and sleepy greeting last night -- nary a bark out of her and she was plainly ready for bed.

"You're are almost the only one on your street that decorated this year!"

Dad bought me 8 boxes of 100ct. multicolored lights and I used them all.

The phone rang once as soon as Dad and I got in the house good. That was my cue to call The Secretary back at home. Dad's biggest pat peeve of his with me is the way I handle the phone and monitor my phone calls.

"Don't forget to give Maggie her flea and heartworm medications," the secretary then said over the phone. "Your father should have them in a Ziploc bag in his pocket along with a can of Vienna sausages."

Vienna Sausages is a treat for Maggie being a good girl and talking all her medications without a fuss. She relishes the stuff after I warm it for about 30 seconds in the microwave.

"How many antibiotics does Maggie have left?" my father asked me planning ahead for the holidays.

"There are three left in the bottle," I told my father.

"Magie looks so much better and I proud of you for handling that like a responsible pet owner."

We then took my medications. I am praying that Klonopin I take will help me fall asleep early since I woke up today at 3 PM. I still don't know why I slept so late today.

"Your injection is in the morning," my father told me again.

"Shit!" I muttered under my breath.

"Do you want me to call you and wake you up?" he asked.

"Do it as a failsafe measure," I replied.

"Come on, let's get in my car and drive around the block to see what your Christmas lights look like from the road," dad said as he coerced me into his car.

May We Receive and May We Be Blessed By a Bonus Round...

Breaking News: Steak at Ten...

http://www.bhg.com/

Dad must've of gotten home from Athens, Georgia much earlier than I thought since he had time to cook a late supper for us all. I had my fish platter earlier in the evening so this was double delish and a bonus round. Like always, the bottomless pits that are Maggie and I were hungry again.

"Your daddy is bringing you a filet mignon and a baked potato," my mother said over the phone. "He will be there in a few moments,"

"Did he grill them?" I asked my mother inquisitively.

"He seared them with olive oil in a pan on the stove and finished cooking them covered in the oven."

I always thank the Secretary for keeping me appraised of all that is going on with my father and these kinds of encounters.

My father finally arrived as Maggie squealed with joy and ran to the door to greet him.

"If I am acting funny, then it is because Auburn lost," my father told me solemnly of Auburn's loss to unranked Georgia today. "It just destroys my Saturdays in football season when we lose like that."

The Better Angels of Our Nature...

http://www.thinkingfaith.org/

I love that quote. I think Abraham Lincoln first coined it around the time of the Gettysburg Address saying we need to nurture the better angels of our nature to end the civil war and to abolish slavery.

____________________________________________________

"Your daddy told me to cancel my dentist's appointment tomorrow since you have to get your injection at the same time," my mother told me over the phone this evening. "He says we might be putting too much upon you."

That must've have been a gargantuan, teeth gritting effort for her to do that as The Secretary doesn't miss or cancel appointments.

"I appreciate that," I replied to my mother,"I haven't been up this early and so often everyday in quite some time. I would have been fine, though."

I do have my injection in the morning and realized that's why I was feeling kind of scatterbrained and anxious tonight. It is also laborious to write this blog post with all the mistakes I am making. Dad's now headed down to the pharmacy to fill the prescription so I will be ready to go in the morning. He was off of work today.

My father also cooked supper and when I asked what he cooked he said it was a surprise. Oh, that must mean it is something I like very much. I'm hungry for some country vegetables. I just looked in the sack and my father brought me a plate full of food. I am having green beans, potato salad, creamed corn, and Cajun baked chicken breasts. He knows I enjoy spicy food. My father also put in a bag of sliced tomatoes  to eat with my meal so I could have some tomato sandwiches.

My father got busy a moment ago to participate in my medication ritual and Maggie's ritual. We further fed and watered Maggie as she anxiously look over the proceeding..

Does a Pound Cake Really Weigh a Pound?

http://foodtree.info/

It was one of those very rare days I needed my medications early. I think the last time I got them early was about two weeks ago. At least I had that fact to my credit. I hope they knew I was not crying wolf just to get my Klonopin.

The first thing I did when I woke up at 3:00pm feeling wonky was to call my mother -- the action activator within the family. The secretary can get some serious stuff done.

"Johnny?" my mother said to my father matter-of-factly while I listened intently over the phone. "Can Andrew come and take his medications?"

I was just extremely lucky in that it was a holiday and my parent's were still home. It would be a very long day mentally without those medications.

Mom said that would be fine and I soon drove over to my parent's house to find Charlie's Caprica in the driveway. You don't know the amount of revelry that occurred within me by my mother's answer. My day was going to be okay, or at least fair to middling.

"We're having some delicious chocolate pound cake Polly made (Charlie's Sister)," Charlie told me. "You have got to try a piece."

Dad said he wan't going to eat a piece as he trying to stay on his diet. Who was the first person in line to get a  piece? Yes, Papa John.

"I just can't pass up one of Polly's chocolate pound cakes," my father said explaining himself.

Tony the Tiger is Back From Exile...

https://www.caloriecount.com/

I have never missed a food as much as I did this past week by not having my frosted flakes and milk. My mother asked me earlier what I was getting tonight and I told her cereal was going to be my mainstay. Each Kroger bag of frosted flakes has 26 modest servings and I buy three big bags and I get 4 gallons of milk to accompany it.

"I swear," my father will say. "You eat like a little kid would eat."

"What else are you getting?" my mother then asked inquisitively as she was living vicariously through me.

"I am getting a fresh loaf of Sunbeam old fashioned bread and some of that new Mrs. Grissom's pimento cheese spread they have at Kroger." I told her. "I am hoping to get some tuna fish salad  and egg salad as well if they keep it in stock."

Where Did My Day Go? Oh, that's Called Yesterday...

The Grand Poo-bah has left the premises after almost bumbling the medication ritual. We almost dropped my myriad and handful of psychiatric medications between the cushions of my couch. That would have been an aggravated twist on tonight's proceedings.

My father was much too tired and not much in the mood for idle chit chat which suited me just fine. Dad just mainly wondered what was on Georgia Public Television tonight. There was a documentary on Olympic row boats. Mom would take this silence as if my father was mad at her for some reason -- always internalizing.

Soon, we were feeding and watering Maggie and my father headed on his way. I just called my mother and told her Papa was heading home.

"He's tired, mom, so don't ask him too many questions or place too many burdens upon his shoulders," I told her. "Go easy on him tonight."

Busy Around Here...

http://www.no1chinesesouthorange.com/

Mom and I are playing phone tag this afternoon. She's got a million things to tell me and can't fit it all in one simple phone call.

Tomorrow is the last part of her cataract surgery -- her right eye. She sounded excited about it when I called her last hour to come and get my Cokes. The Secretary lives for this kind of stuff. I have told my father often that mom is a health insurance companies worst nightmare and I am saying it again for emphasis.

"I am giving you two days of sodas and we are going to the Zen House Chinese reastaurant to eat supper this week if the surgery goes okay," my mother told me.

Mom called me right back to ask how many Swisher Sweet cigarillos I wanted. I told her just to put two packs of cigarillos  in the bag with my Cokes.

Dad called me earlier from work and told me to get ready to get my groceries tonight.

"It is the only chance we have to get them this week," he told me. "Don't have an anxiety or panic attack!!!"

He sounded happy and chipper which was fine  by me. At least we won't have a grouchy and grumpy Papa for grocery night and he might put a few extra groceries in my cart. He heads to the beach with his cousins, Jean and Johnny, in a few days.

Eyesight is a Blessing...

http://perlmancenter.com/

Mom had her cataract surgery yesterday on her left eye. I stopped by the hospital late yesterday afternoon to check on her. They were getting her ready to go home much to my father's relief. Mom seemed in a chipper mood and in good spirits. She said she felt no pain during the surgery even though she was awake for the procedure (that must've been uncomfortable). The Secretary gets excited about doctor's appointments, examinations, and surgeries so she was in her element yesterday.

I just called my father's cellphone and they were on their way back down the interstate to Auburn for a post-op follow-up visit with the doctor. I was hoping to get my sodas before they left. Close, but no cigar as that old saying goes. I ambled down to the Circle K on the corner to get a few Mountain Dew Baja Blast sodas to tide me over. Those sodas sure do have a kick with good taste to boot.

Watch Out! The Germans Are Coming!

http://www.afeastfortheeyes.net/

Dad is currently in the kitchen cooking cube steak and gravy, butterbeans, and German potato salad. His German potato salad is some of the best I have ever eaten.

"I'll save you a plate for later," my father told me.

"Put me a bunch of potato salad on my plate!"

He laughed at my excitement and enthusiasm.

I just left my parents house after taking my medications early. It is just one of those days that happen from time to time when dealing with a mental illness. I needed some early TLC and my father didn't balk when I asked for some.

The Secretary started me a grocery list that she is going to give to my father when he leaves heading to my house tonight. Most of the things on that list are what I talked about in my previous post.

No Rest For the Weary...

https://www.pinterest.com

I woke up this morning at 6:30am due to very intense pain in my left shoulder and arm. Dr. Martin, my orthopedic surgeon, had warned me of this. He said I was going to develop severe arthritis in that arm as I grew older. I think I slept on it wrong, though, for the most part. I thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room for a moment there. It was an excruciating and throbbing pain to say the least.

The story of my broken arm and shoulder is for a blog post some other day. Needless to say, it involved alcohol and a motorcycle many years ago when I was still drinking heavily. It was my deathwish, but my time to go hadn't arrived yet.

A few Aleve later and I am feeling much better now. I managed to eek out a decent breakfast for the Magster and I. We had some poached eggs on buttered toast and some cheddar cheese grated on top. I am also drinking this week's allotted amount of sweet milk like crazy. I knew I should have bought four gallons instead of two. It was a cost-cutting measure. Wednesday is my father's grocery shopping day and I have already put in a request for a gallon of milk via The Secretary. She won't let my father forget it. You can rest assured.

Bookstore or Bust...

http://www.solomonbuilders.com/

I made a beeline for Books-A-Million and Auburn after mom picked me up. It is about a 30-minute drive depending on traffic. Of course, they were doing construction work on the interstate half way there that slowed us down considerably. The traffic crawled at a snail's pace for about 15 minutes until the left lane opened up again. Then we were off to the races like greyhounds out of the gate.

Mom went inside to get her books. I also love to go inside and look at all the gadgets they have like expensive headphones and writable media for DVD players and such. I am still looking for those elusive 24X speed recordable DVDs and have been for years.

"What do you mean you have only one book of my order?" mom said loudly with an alarmed tone to her voice. "We just drove 30 miles to get here."

That was my cue to walk over and get involved.

"It's no problem," I assured my mother. "I will drive us back down here when the other books come in."

Mom was under the assumption that the whole delivery had arrived.

If you don't already know, I hoard computer mice and keyboards. I have a fetish for computer peripherals. I was tempted to drive next door to Best Buy, but I knew my father would flip his lid if I bought any more computer parts. He says I am obsessed and rightly so. I asked mom if she would fund a new mouse and keyboard and her answer was that I was too rich for her blood.

We left there and got a couple of medium chocolate milkshakes at Sonic and then we headed home. It was smooth sailing up the interstate till we got back to the Valley.

The Secretary...

We are waiting on Martha, my mother and The Secretary, to arrive. It is time for Maggie's heartworm and flea medications according to my mother's pet care calendar. I don't know what I would do without my mother's help in this matter. She is very diligent and astute about it all.

**************

My mother arrived and left. Maggie goes nuts for my mother when she comes inside. Maggie really put on a show today. Mom usually sits out at the road and honks the horn if she has something for me like my weekly Mexican meal.

Maggie also got two cans of Vienna sausages, which she just relishes, for being such a good girl and taking all her medications this afternoon. 

Evoke the Auschwitz Mantra...

I was fixing to write a blog post about being tired of eating Mexican food for yet another week. I should be ashamed of myself. Mom's bringing chicken fajitas by in the next hour. That instantly evoked my Auschwitz Mantra. I can think of millions upon millions of people who are going to bed tonight with a hungry belly.  I am also drinking a very large, clean, and ice cold glass of water from the fridge. You see those African ladies in National Geographic who carry their water for miles upon their heads just to do their laundry on stone rocks.

Groceries? What Happened?

Frankly, I didn't feel up to it. I didn't want to get mired in all that rigmarole last night. The thought of having to unload all those groceries was abhorrent and tiresome. I was content to take my crazy medications and keep calm and quiet last night. Lay low. I could never get away with that with my father, though. Charlie and I are going tonight I hope.

"Don't you dare tell your mother we didn't get groceries," Charlie told me last night. "She will call me a hundred times fretting and worrying!"

He knows The Secretary well.

I've already got my mind set on another round of spaghetti and meat-sauce using my revised recipe.  I also want lots of breakfast foods this week. Two bags of my frosted flakes and 4 gallons of milk and then I will be situated for the week. My sweet this week will be a repeat of previous weeks and I will get chocolate pudding after a two week hiatus. The modus operandi tonight is to get in and out as quick as possible minimizing the impact on Charlie.

image credit: http://integrateisgreat.eu/lithuanian-and-eglish-breakfast/

Carnal Sins...

I was in the bed at 4:00 am this morning and slept until 5:00 pm this afternoon. My yard service, the Guatemalans, woke me up with their loud leaf blowers. It was a maddening moment as I rushed into the laundry room to shut the dog door before Maggie could get out of the fence. They can be forgetful and leave the fence open after they mow the backyard.

Dad called me at 6:00 pm tonight.

"You okay Chuck?" he asked. "You really scared me last night."

"I'm fine today," I told him. "I just slept 13 hours so I should be doing well."

"I will try not to dilly dally around tonight and will be over pretty early to give you your medications," my father replied.

I thanked him for that.

Mom then called and had a care package for me to pick up. She had placed toilet paper and paper towels and also my Cokes on the back porch. The back door was open which meant The Secretary was receiving.  We talked for awhile. It was good talking to mom this afternoon. Mom wrote on Dad's grocery list that I needed vanilla ice cream and premium apple topping.

"He'll never remember if you just tell him," mom explained to me.

Dad told me not to dare tell my mother I only got $45 worth of groceries, though. She would drive him crazy with worry and inquisition.

Mom asked me how I used to always stay drunk even when I didn't have money years ago out of curiosity.

"A good way I used to go get wine was to tell you I wanted some drinks and sodas from downstairs. Dad keeps a lot of wine in that fridge and I would open the garage door and put some of the wine in my car," I told my mother with a smile. "I would walk back up the stairs with just sodas and leave out the back door. You never knew I was getting wine and dad never seemed to complain about missing any."

"Also," I added. "Dad's, the pharmacist's, bathroom medicine cabinets are a pillhead's dream come true. I would ask to use the bathroom and fill my pockets with all kinds of interesting pharmaceuticals."

"You sneaky little shit!" my mother exclaimed laughing.

I assured my mother that I haven't done all that crazy crap in years now.

The State of Affairs this Evening...

Mom is eating Mexican with Mrs. Sandra and my father is finishing up his shift at the pharmacy which just closed. I was in the bed by 10:00 am this morning and slept until 5:30 this afternoon. It was a deep sleep where you wake up with a slight headache you were sleeping so hard.

I broke my sun tea jug. I've had it for years. I put it in the freezer full of water this morning and it froze solid and broke. I went to bed and forgot it. I drink a lot of water -- probably a gallon a day. I brainstormed and filled up one of my empty gallon milk jugs and put it in the freezer. I now have ice cold water a few hours later. I cleaned and filled another milk jug as well. I am going now to fill another one after having this great revelation.

image credit: https://www.etsy.com/listing/46306990/lipton-sun-tea-jar-its-sunsational

A few minutes later...

The Secretary just arrived with Maggie's heartworm and flea medications. Maggie also gets a can of Vienna sausages that she just relishes on these occasions. We then just drove over in my mother's car to get my sodas for the day. It is cold and her car was warm.

"I can't believe I forgot to bring them to you," my mother said to me.

Mom forgot to order me Mexican food tonight as well and was trying to cajole me into driving down to fast food row and getting a value meal. I was more interesting in getting home and drinking my six sodas for the day.

image credit:  http://www.walmart.com/ip/Armour-Vienna-Sausage-6pk/10290880

Thank You, Freds!

My nose is running.  Will somebody go catch it? HA!

I feel like I am coming down with something.  I haven't had a cold or the flu for years and years. My nose keeps running so I drove to Fred's awhile ago to get something to take to stop such leakage. The gods must've listened to me as Fred's Super Dollar was busy and they had two cashiers open.  I was in and out in a flash and was thoroughly pleased with my shopping experience.

On second thought, over-the-counter pharmaceuticals are expensive.  I should've just called my father and had him bring the medicine with him when he arrives for the medication ritual tonight.  There would be a 50/50 chance he would forget, though, and I needed instant relief. My nose is raw from wiping it so much and fighting off the deluge.

It's Good to Have a Secretary...

I just called mom and said, "I love you and thank you for everything you do."

She deserves it! She had called me earlier when I got home to tell me my sodas were on the back porch. I got in the car and headed out once again. She gave me a bunch of diet Sunkist in this allotment of sodas and they are delicious. I am sipping on an ice cold Sunkist right now. She didn't believe me when I told her they have caffeine.

"My healthcare calendar is showing you are due for your injection Thursday," she told me.

"Dad called me early this morning to let me know or to warn me," I replied back.

I thanked her for watching my back as they sometimes say.

The Insidious Cold...

The Secretary called me last hour.  Mom said she had been asleep for hours today and Helen kept waking her up.  I chuckled.  My father would call this royalty speaking.  He says my mother and I act like royalty and must be treated as such.

"The house feels cold," my mother then said. "I don't think the heat is working."

"Where's dad?" I asked.

"Your daddy had to work all day today," mom replied

I headed to my parent's house woefully under-dressed for this little expedition. My car started blowing warm air as soon as I pulled in my parent's driveway.  I let myself in through the back door. Helen was vacuuming the den. Helen turned off the vacuum to say hello.  It certainly was very chilly in my parent's house.  I checked the thermostat and it was set to 75°F, but the temperature was 65°F.

"Do you know what's wrong?" the Secretary asked me.

"I think the pilot light has gone out again," I told her.

I delved into the bowels of the house where the heating and cooling unit resides in the basement. Certainly enough the pilot light was blown out.  I walked upstairs and got some matches out of the kitchen and lit it.  Within moments, warm air was flowing out of my parent's vents.

"Wait before you go," my mother told me. "Helen made egg salad for lunch and she is going to make you two sandwiches."

That pleased me quite mightily.  Helen gave me two sandwiches in Ziploc bags and I hit the road for home after grabbing my daily allotment of six diet Cokes off the kitchen counter.

image credit:  http://www.dishinanddishes.com/tag/how-to-make-egg-salad/

The Secretary's Got An Appointment...

I called mom last hour to put my six Diet Cokes out on the porch.  I have to say I have been enjoying getting them again.  I just wish I could learn to not drink them all in two hours, though. I am so obsessive/compulsive. That's one reason I quit drinking them in the first place.  I was trying to moderate things in my life.

"Normal people don't drink six Cokes in two hours," my father told me the other night. "Just like they don't drink a whole pot of strong and caffeinated coffee in a few hours as well."

"I am fixing to go get a permanent," my mother then told me. "I will put your Cokes out before I leave."

"Just what is a permanent?" I asked The Secretary.

"Your hair is supposed to hold its shape much longer," The Secretary told me.

"But it's not permanent!" I said laughing with a good-hearted jab at my mother.

Mom nervously laughed back stymied not knowing what to say.  Dad likes how I call them "Big Hair" days.  It will make him laugh when I say that tonight.  Mom knows she looks pretty and has lots of machismo and self-confidence.  She can also be very outspoken as well causing my father to raise his eyebrows.

The bridge on Cherry Drive is still completely washed out from our Christmas Eve deluge leaving only two main avenues of travel to my parent's house.  One is through my old childhood neighborhood (which is way out of the way) and the other is by the police station.  I've noticed the drive past the police station is making me buckle up for a change.  I also go the 25 mph speed limit.

image credit:  http://passion-hair.co.uk/hair/permanent-waves-and-straightening/

We Were Graced by Her Grace, The Secretary...

I saw mom pull up in front of the house as I sat at this computer.  Maggie was sound asleep on the couch when I said quietly, "Momma's here."  Maggie instantly awoke and bolted onto the back of the couch about as fast as I could get the words out of my mouth. Mom walked across the yard and I greeted her at the door.

The Secretary's pet healthcare calendar dictated that it was time for Maggie's heartworm pills.  Mom also brought a can of Vienna sausages which is one of her favorite treats.  Maggie was barking up a joyful storm as mom walked inside.  Maggie doesn't get to see my mother very often so this was a real treat for her. Anytime a wayward pack member returns home is a big deal to the Magster, Princess of Mauritania and Maratouse.

Maggie chewed up her heartworm pills in peanut butter Greenies pill pockets and then got the privilege of six Vienna sausages.  She was in hog heaven.

image credit:  http://www.armour-star.com/prod_vienna.asp