I Think I’ve Had a Bright Idea!

I’ve put some fresh batteries in my camera and sat it on top of the piano ready to film. Next time that Hombre comes driving down the street, I am going to film it all. Like Tracy said, it’s a matter of time before he shows up again. Then I am going to call the police and let them find where he lives in the neighborhood.

Life Sans Internet…

Monday morning, a big rig drove down our street and took down our cable drop line to the house (low clearance). The police came out and moved the line out of the road and filed a report (I wonder who called the police?). I called that dastardly WOW! and the lady said someone would be out here that afternoon. No one ever came. Dad and Tracy called next to no avail over the next few subsequent days. Each time, the WOW! representative said someone would be out here soon. Thursday rolled around and Tracy and I still didn’t have cable TV and internet. Tracy and I both were at our wit’s end.

“I am driving out to their office and pulling some strings,” my father told me when he stopped by the house to survey the damage yesterday.

Within twenty minutes of my father saying that, two WOW! vans were parked in front of my house and working to restore my service. I am not exaggerating. It took them about another 20 minutes to do so and we were back online.

“How did you do that?” I asked my father over the phone astonishingly grinning ear to ear and laughing jubilantly.

“The receptionist traded with me at the pharmacy for twenty years,” he told me smugly.

I keep telling my father he could make the consummate small town politician. He knows everyone in town.

It was so nice to wake up this morning and look at the weather forecast and radar. I had really missed doing that. You really don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

Tuna Time...

I made the best tuna salad tonight if I do say so myself. It was nothing fancy. Just some hard-boiled eggs, minced celery, sweet pickle relish, and mayonnaise.  I also added a few dashes of hot sauce to give it some zest. It got Maggie's seal of approval as well. I ate two sandwiches and she had the pleasure of one.

I'll Probably Rarely Turn It On, But...

We had decided not to get me a new TV months ago as I was going to drop cable from my cable/internet/phone plan. Now, since I am going to get the lifeline tier of cable TV, dad decided to go ahead and get me a new TV. Charlie came and measured the dimensions of the television pocket in my entertainment center tonight. It turns out it will accommodate a 32" TV. As usual, he came and went in a flash.

"I am going to get you a Sony television," Charlie told me rolling up his measuring tape. "They seem to last longer."

Well, I am a big Sony fan and heartily approved. I expect Charlie to pull up any minute with a new TV for me. He said he was headed to Walmart when he left about an hour ago.

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates...

I am really enjoying this British television show at the moment. Public television occasionally airs episodes and it is easily found on the web. It stars Patricia Routledge who you will instantly recognize as Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances.

An interview with Patricia about the series...

https://youtu.be/VTs9sA9R_k4

We Have a Go for Launch!

My father just has called me from the pharmacy. They've got everything set up with WOW! Here is what I am getting...

• 12 basic cable channels including The Weather Channel
• Phone with no long distance.
• 500 Mbps download and 50 Mbps upload internet.

I was so overjoyed that it spilled over onto the phone. I told dad I was going to send Tuleana down there to give him a big smacker on the lips! He burst out in laughter. He could hear my exuberance over the phone and said it was contagious.

"Now be sure to keep your house tidy and clean," my father (Hyacinth) told me in closing. "They are coming to install a new dot 3 oh modem."

A Feeling of Impending Doom...

"Why are you so nervous and fidgety?" dad asked me as we pulled out of my neighborhood for the short jaunt to WOW!.

"Something is going to go wrong," I told him. "Nothing's never easy when concerning these cable TV and internet providers."

"Well, hope for the best," dad told me turning his gaze back to the road.

"What can I help you with gentlemen?" the receptionist asked as we stepped into an empty lobby.

"Yes, I want to change my plan," I explained, "I want to get the 500 Mbps internet, drop my cable, and keep my phone."

The lady got on the computer and started to furiously type away.

"You can only have the 110 Mbps internet on your plan," she told me with a guarded smile.

"Well, let's change plans then," I told her sternly.

The lady said she had to talk to her supervisor and would call us back. Dad gave her his cellphone number.

"I'll work hard to get you what you want," she said and then my father and I left to drive home.

"I told you so," I said to my father as I climbed into his car. "I told you it wouldn't be easy."

You Make My Stormy Skies Beautiful...

I woke up with the funks as I call them -- others would call them the doldrums. I called my father and asked him if we could go out to the WOW! office and change my cable and internet. He will not call for some obstinate reason. It would take 30 minutes and that certainly would lift my spirits. I am chomping at the bit of the prospects of having 500 Mbps internet as I languish with 30 Mbps internet currently. This WOW! business has been going on for three weeks now and dad keeps stalling.

"Babe, I'm watching the Auburn/Georgia game on YouTube and haven't gotten dressed. I promise you we will go Wednesday," my father said.

Well, that sunk me to new lows for the day. Then, I thought of all the good things in my life. I evoked my Auschwitz Mantra as I often have to do. Hell, I even said the serenity prayer as well. Any person imprisoned in that concentration camp would trade places with me in a heartbeat. They would love to tackle my seemingly trifle problems. Life is just not fair sometimes and I have to come to terms with that.

Werewolves of London...

I wonder if Warren Zevon was inspired by a full moon when he wrote that song.

It is a full moon and I could've sworn I just saw my neighbor streak past this window buck naked. hehe. I'd pay a few dollars to see that as she is kind of cute.

Dad says when it is a full moon that they can get some real crazies in the pharmacy -- pill counters, Lortab addicts, etc.

"John? You shorted me four Lortab!" is a scenario my father knows all too well.

"We counted them three times to make sure your prescription is correct," he would say with a smile and they do so just for this occasion..

Surely, if the moon can move vast oceans via the tides, it can effect the cranial and spinal fluid in our brains and bodies.

Sustenance...

Earlier, Charlie dropped by my KFC pot pie with two cookies this time. My father took the grand-kids to the local Japanese steakhouse so Charlie was flying solo. Dad had called me earlier in the afternoon to come and take my medications. That was really nice. This post is partially fueled by Klonopin and Coreg, and maybe a little risperidone as well.

Charlie had paint all over him again. He excitably told me that he was having new kitchen counters and cabinets installed tomorrow. Charlie lives for this kind of stuff. You should see Charlie's house that resides near my father's house. It is just jammed full of beautiful furniture and posh surroundings. It is kind of his showcase house.

Chomping at the Bit!

I am hoping my father will drive with me to the WOW! office to change my cable and internet. He will not call them on the phone for some crazy reason. The plan I want is $79.99 and that includes 500 Mbps internet and the "small" cable package. I am currently paying $160 bucks a month or so my father says. I honestly don't know what we are paying for as my internet is only 30 Mbps. It must be all the high definition channels I get that I do not watch.

Someone Stuck a Stick in My Hornet's Nest...

It is not often I get mad at my father these days. We rarely have anything to argue about except maybe groceries and my spending habits. My father certainly pissed me off last night, though.

"Dad?" I asked my father upon him answering the phone. "Can I get the account code and call WOW! to change my internet and cable over?"

Dad was laughing as he told me he wasn't going to dare give me the code. I was just going to have to be happy with the internet I currently had for the moment. I growled that it was my money we were spending.

"You just quit worrying about all of that. I will call you in the morning to wake you up for your injection," he told me as he got off the phone.

If I were completely dastardly devious, I could open a new internet account in my name for this address with a new code and have them send my father the bill.

Let's Go From 30 Mbps to 500 Mbps...

"I only want basic, basic cable," I told my father last night. "I rarely watch the television anyway. If I get the Weather Channel, then I am happy."

"I can't understand why your monthly bill is $160 dollars and you have such a paltry internet connection," my father replied.

"Something is obviously amiss," I replied hopeful for a change. "I do get all the high definition channels and that could be the reason. I never watch them, though."

My father hates conversing with the cable company over the phone so we are going to have to drive out to their office in the boondocks and talk to them in person. He is on a name to name basis with the receptionist as she was a customer of his pharmacy for years.

I got online and looked at some of the cable and internet plans and 500 Mbps internet (their fastest) combined with basic cable was $79.99 with a two-year agreement. Dad seemed to be grateful to save so much of my money with such a plan and said we will look into it on Wednesday when we drive out there.

Me? I am excited, hopeful, and giddy with glee. My new upload speed will be faster than my current download speed to put things into perspective.