Rest Well Dear Soul…

Dad showed me a picture of mom, him, Dr. Kamath, and his wife today. Mom looked so pretty in it. I often find myself thinking of my mother these days. I always thought mom would easily outlive my father. Alas, she was taken too soon.

Our trip to Clark Brother’s yesterday was fruitful. I spent about $40 on cheese and sausage. I also got some really lean ground chuck. Dad was the big spender and spent over $100 on steaks, sausage, and center cut pork chops. We will be grilling out this weekend. I can never tire of eating things grilled over charcoal. I am sure Charlie and family will join us.

I took care of Tracy’s birthday today. I drove to Walmart and got her a Blu-ray player and three movies I thought she would like – real chick flicks. When I leave Walmart, I always realize what a nervous wreck I am. All the commotion and noise gets to me. It is stimulation overload. I should have just bought it online and had it shipped to me. I sat in the car composing myself for a good 10 minutes before driving home.

Dad goes, “I wish someone would buy me a Blu-ray player,” this afternoon.

“You have a Blu-ray player you big dummy,” I said back laughing. “My brother bought you one.”

“I thought it was just a DVD player,” he replied saving face.

I am getting something really boring to most for my birthday in April (thrills me!). An 8 Terabyte Seagate Barracuda hard drive for my gaming computer. I hope to be able to back up all my data and games to it.

To the Manor Born…

There was a jovial mongoloid lady named Angie that lived across the street when I was a child. She had the sweetest disposition. She would tell me I was her real mother and not Martha, and it worried me deeply. She said she had me with the weatherman on channel 3. She would grab me to hug me with my face smothered in her very ample bosom. Dad thought this was the most hilarious thing he had ever heard at the time. Well, it antagonized me.

Dad evoked these memories when he started to talk about it this morning.

“Well, your real mother passed away yesterday,” he told me. “She was fifty three. I guess it is too late for a maternity test.”

I thought that was astonishing for a person with Down’s Syndrome to live so long.

Dad then asked me if I were going to my mother’s visitation and funeral.

“Martha was my mother,” I replied huffily – all those childhood memories came flooding back.

My father heartily laughed and laughed some more and almost got choked on the diet Coke he was drinking. 

As the Dust Settles…

I was over at my father’s house yesterday. He was joking and laughing and that put me at ease. We were listening to the radio and the lady speaking had a sublime Southern accent. The topic was writing about obituaries. I’ve heard some of you remark on my accent as well – that slow Southern drawl us Southerners seem to have.

I finally put away my fears of my father paying all that money for my HVAC unit. I just told myself that it came out of my mother’s inheritance money and she would love to help me and pay for it. When my car got stolen Christmas day years ago and we finally retrieved it, mom paid over $500 to get the locks changed on that car and she did it gladly out of love.

The house is just now cooling down for the day as the clock passed midnight. I will go to bed about 2 AM which has become my custom these days. I usually sleep until 2 PM the next day. My sleeping habits have always been weird so this is nothing new. Horsefly sleeps from sun up to sun down like a vampire. He’s a member of our weird sleepers club as well. My father stays up to 1 AM most nights on the nights he doesn’t have to work.

“I like it when it is so quiet and lowkey. That damn phone isn’t ringing as well,” he told me the other day.

Deflation...

I feel as if I have almost lost my muse it seems. Let's get to writing. It also seems after a big moment of huge elation like yesterday there is a moment of deflation the next day. This connection sure makes blogging easier, though, as everything, like editing, is instantaneous.

The technician took about an hour to install everything yesterday. He didn't show up until almost 9:45 AM and I got to sweating thinking they weren't coming. I got an interesting new Google OnHub wireless router (I love the sounds it makes) and a shiny new Arris Gigabit Plus cable modem for free in the bargain.

I was just absolutely exhausted last night after getting up at 4 AM. Dad called me and wanted to know if I would drive over to get my two Diet Cokes, cigarettes, and my third to last Benadryl. I said sure and hurried over despite my misgivings about driving after dark. Dad had continuing education in Columbus, Georgia yesterday and he was pooped out as well. He already had his pajamas on when I arrived.

"The speaker talked about all the new pharmaceutical breakthroughs in curing dementia and Alzheimer's," my father said. "It was fascinating."

I Miss Mom and All Her Antics...

I was sitting in my father's den this morning. Dad and I were talking about some of the more interesting stuff my mother did over the years and we both got to laughing so hard it hurt. Mom was extremely notorious for having intestinal distress.

"It was because she ate all that snacky shit all the time," my father said brusquely, sitting in his recliner with Sam in his lap.

Sam was purring so loudly I could hear her from several feet away.

"Remember the time you called your mother and she almost had an accident while you two were talking?" dad asked me this morning.

"Yeah, she was standing next to you when she said she had to quickly get off the phone as she was about to mess herself," I replied from the recliner next to him.

Dad burst out laughing.

"I quickly got up and moved out of the way," dad replied. "Because I was sitting behind her business end."

"I thought well that's one way to end a conversation," I said with a chuckle.

"And didn't she do something similar in assisted living?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, she said she messed in her diapers and started to take off her pants and then the diaper," I told him. "I turned my head in distress myself and thought that I didn't want to see my elderly mother naked from the waist down."

Dad burst out laughing again.

"Well, I quickly and reluctantly overcame my modesty and distress and helped her get some clean diapers and her pajama bottoms back on."

"Your mother never was modest," my father said, laughing some more.

Melancholy Me...

Today marks the one year anniversary of the day my mother passed away. I can see it and feel it just like it was yesterday. I had just been over at my parent's house. Mom was in good cheer and sitting on the couch. She told me not to forget my Cokes and cigars as I was headed out the back door. An hour after that, my father called me and said, "Your mother is dead." It took days later for the full emotional impact to hit me. I was stunned. I miss her dearly and all she did for me. If you went to my mother and said you needed something done, you could consider it done that day. If you do the same with my father, it can sometimes be weeks or months for what you asked for to be implemented.

This afternoon my father and I drove to Waverly, Alabama to put some flowers on her grave. It was the first time I had seen the headstone since my father had it placed. It was a quiet ride there and an even more quiet ride back. I told my father I wanted to be cremated and my remains buried next to him and mom.

Life Marches Ever Onwards...

"I'll meet you at the Piggly Wiggly at nine," my father said tonight over the phone.

I actually arrived at 8:45 PM and got started early. It is going to be another breakfast food themed week this week. I bought a thick cut brand of bacon straying away from my "Black Label" brand and we will see how it fares. It will probably take forever to fry to the crispiness I like.

The same cashier I got last week said, "Yes, you like eggs." She had remarked on my egg purchase last week as well.

"Do you think it is going to snow?" the cashier then asked me as we were checking out.

"Oh, it is going to snow. Just how much is the question," I replied to her. "Watch us just get a dusting."

"That would be fine with me!" she exclaimed. "I don't want any snow!"

I was surprised there wasn't a mad dash to the Piggly Wiggly tonight by the citizenry to buy milk and bread. I got my usual four gallons of whole milk and two loaves of Nature's Own honey wheat bread.

I ended up spending $75 dollars tonigiht which was within acceptable parameters.

It is Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

The outside Christmas lights are up and lit. I'll put up a photo after dark. It is amateurish at best unlike my father's refined and frou frou Christmas decor that I've got to help him put up this weekend. Putting up his Christmas decorations is meticulous and tiresome. We need to breathe some fun into like pass out cocktails to an audience who can cajole and heckle us.

I am going to override my father and buy my Christmas tree Saturday. I can't wait to put it up. I will have to get some of that Christmas tree preserver and keep it well watered. I have a very nice stand to put in on with a large water reservoir.

When I was a kid, my mother began taking down the Christmas decorations Christmas night. We would get in the biggest fights over that. I will leave them up to New Year's Day.

"Martha, let them enjoy Christmas," I can hear my father say in my mind's eye.

Mom wasn't having any of that. She wanted it done and over with.

That Meddling Mental Illness...

The cycling continues. A few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep at all and now I sleep all night.  And? The Magster and I took a 5-hour nap this afternoon. I hope I sleep tonight, though. The Magster loved us piling up in the bed and sleeping like that. I was just going to take a quick nap as I got up at 7 am and that is early for me.

Debit or Die Trying!

"Oh, by the way," I told my father sheepishly tonight as he handed me my medications, "I debited a lot of sandwich fixins at the Piggly Wiggly this afternoon."

"How much did you spend?" my father asked warily.

"I spent twenty dollars," I replied.

Not another word was said about it and here I thought we were going to get into one hell of a fuss.

The Piggly Wiggly branded "King" bread was some of the softest and freshest bread I've eaten in a long time. I also got some Kraft cheese singles and two packs of bologna that was on sale. The cheese was on sale as well so I got the last two packs.

Step Up! Step Down!

Mom used to have this little portable step for exercising. I brought it in the den to show my father what she would do with it. Then she would make me do it for 25 to 30 minutes because I was a little fat pudgy kid who needed to lose weight.  Dad laughed and laughed.

"Get back on it and show me how she did it again," dad said chocking back a another hearty laugh.

Maggie uses it to jump up on the computer room bed these days. My little furry daughter managed to learn this trick in record time. It was that or sleep on the chilly floor by the bed.

"What time is the ballgame tommorrow?" I then asked my father abruptly changing the subject.

"It starts at 3:30 pm our time," my father said.

"Is Charlie bringing me my medications?" I asked.

"Alright Martha," dad said laughing some more. "The devil is in the details and always was for you two."

"I'll talk to Charlie about it tonight," dad said as he was leaving. "He'll probably call me about it instead. He'll be worried about you."

That Voice -- that Voice of a Thousand Memories...

I couldn't get my father on his cell phone so I called dad's landline at his house this morning. It rang and rang until it dumped me into my parent's voicemail. Mom's voice on the message service said she couldn't come to the phone at that time and to please leave a message.

The sound of my mother's voice sent me reeling and made me very melancholy. A tear erupted from my eye. I miss my mother very much. We were two peas in a pod. Dad says I got the worst of the both of them with regards to my faulty genes. I told him it just makes me eccentric to use a kinder word. "That Andrew certainly is an interesting fellow!"

"I've been meaning to change that," my rather technophobe father said at lunch today. "I am probably going to recruit you into doing that. The security code is taped on the side of the fridge."

It is the only recording of my mother's voice so I told my father to get a recording of that message if he could.

"Tell them to burn it to a compact disc or email it to you!" I told my father.

"I always said that your mother would outlive me for decades," he said. "But I was wrong."

In the Land of Milk and Honey...

Dad dropped by the afternoon with a catfish plate from Roger's barbecue. I love surprises like that.

"I thought you may be running low on groceries," my father said.

"You are correct in that assessment, Sir!" I replied.

Those fried catfish plates are pretty expensive as well. In a few moments, my whole house smelled of fried catfish. It was driving Maggie nuts. It was a 3 piece filet plate so I gave Maggie one filet. What did she do? She took such a morsel outside and buried it in the backyard. I had a face-palm moment for a minute there.

"I am heading home," my father said. "Enjoy your plate and I hope mine is not yet cold."

Setting the Mood...

Oh, Poor Dear Papa!

I am sitting here in the computer room with Enya's The Storms in Africa emitting from my speakers. The tinkle of Maggie's rabies tag can be heard over the din of the pleasant music as she scratches her neck after eating her supper. It is cootie vanquishing and grooming time! Maggie will soon decide whether or not she wants get in the bed and go to sleep.

My father is gone. He gave me my medications, we fed and watered the Magster, and was on his way home after working 10 hours today. He says he can't afford his current lifestyle without working. He also said losing mom's teacher's retirement was a huge blow to his finances.

"Your sister called me today and she could immediately tell I am down in the dumps," my father told me as he poured venison and brewers rice nuggets in Maggie's fresh paper bowl. I filled her water bowl in the kitchen sink as well.

"Well, you lived with mom for 46 years so I think you can have a little down time." I replied. "This has all been so cuttingly sudden and uproarious for us all."

I was washing my tennis shoes this afternoon and this would've been prime Andrew and Martha time.

"Use the OxyClean I gave you," she would say. "And I will hunt you down tome more white shoe laces."

Curb Meet Entourage...

I had never been so glad to see Papa and Charlie pull up to my curb. I know I have said that many, many times beforehand, but tonight was somehow different. It was after dark and the sun had long set. The house has just been cold and quiet today and I have dealt with the maelstrom that is my mind all day until medication time. My mother would have also called me several times today as well. I missed her very much and shed a few tears in her memory -- what tears I could muster.

"Popa and Charlie are here!" I hollered to Maggie as she was sleeping on the sofa.

Immediately barking ensued.

I can already tell some effects of my medications 30 minutes after Papa and Charlie left Casa de Andrew. After the full hour, I will probably be melting into the fabric of this chair. The full hour will expire at 8:26 PM.

Dauntless Charlie cleaned the kitchen some tonight as my father and I performed the medication ritual which included my father's addiction to the television. He said I left him without much of a job as he headed through the den and out of the front door to throw what little trash I had away. Now, that is what I wanted to hear. Charlie told me I was sloppy like his oldest son and his son's wife a few weeks ago. I have redoubled my efforts in keeping my kitchen and house clean.

Funeral @ 3 PM Eastern Time Tomorrow...

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

Visitation was almost more than I can bear and I was more of a wallflower than anything occasionally shaking hands. Charlie said so as well - socially overbearing to the extreme. I have never seen so many people gather at one place except for an Auburn football game in Auburn's Jordan-Hare stadium.

I arrived home and put my jacket on my coat rack and sat silently and quietly for a moment of introspection as I loosened my tie and sighed. I still can''t believe my mother and my Chief Advocate General is gone.

Soon, Charlie came by to give me my medications around 9 PM. We forwent buying groceries tonight and will do so tomorrow night. Charlie was so exhausted after going and coming all day.  Maybe my father will go with me tomorrow night I hope. I would spend too much if Charlie went with me with Charlie playing a big role in my gluttony.

"I know you're tired Charlie," I told him sincerely as he hugged me and I told him to head on home.

"I will bring you and Maggie some more McDonald's biscuits in the morning before heading in to work," Charlie replied to me.

"I have to go anyway to get Horsefly's morning sausage biscuit,"Charlie then said when I protested him going to such trouble.

I felt he had gone far above his calling and duty during this ordeal.

A Tumultuous Taco Time!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/

The humble hard shell taco is my mother's latest food obsession it seems. For the longest time, it was a Wendy's double stack and a Frosty.

"Do you want me to take you to get some tacos?" I kindly asked my mother on our last call.

Our Taco Hell is on hyper busy Hwy 29 and that highway is off limits for my mother to drive upon. Mom was caught in quite a taco supreme quagmire and conundrum.

She has been driving me nuts all day about going to Taco Hell and getting Tacos next Sunday for our Sunday supper. Maggie and I were trying to schedule in a nap except we were having contradictions in our schedules. I would go lay down and soon as I got settled with Maggie and comfortable in my bed my mother would call again. It was entirely maddening, but what could I do? I would hate to hurt my mother's feelings.

"What would you eat?" my mother asked me on one brief call.

"I prefer two burrito supremes," I replied to her.

"Oh, those sound good," my mother replied. "Maybe I will have that as well Sunday night."

Medicinal Care Awaits Us...

Some Men Are Growing Breasts

I really don't want to do this injection ritual this morning. I begrudgingly got in the shower and then dressed in Risperdal Consta appropriate garb (easy to pull my pants down) namely denim shorts. I will be heading to the pharmacy at 8:50 AM to be there at 9 AM. Amazingly, I was already awake when it dawned on me that my shot was today. I called my father and he confirmed it until Mom hijacked the phone to urge me onwards.

"I know you grow tired of getting that injection every two weeks," my mother told me from the bandstand.

9:10 AM -- Slow As Molasses and Impetuous Me...

First, at the pharmacy, the pharmacy tech was having trouble running my prescription through Medicare Part D. You could only submit the prescription after nine she told me. Dad finally walked up front to hand me my dose pack and we were finally off to the races. I thought I would never get the go ahead to drive to Kamath Medical.

"Can I get a candybar with my Cokes?" I eagerly asked my father before I left.

I grabbed a king sized PayDay bar off the counter. I needed a sugar rush to keep me going. Dad told the receptionist to charge my drinks and candy to his account and not mine.

Rebecca, my nurse, was running behind as well even through Dr. Kamath was at a wedding in Bombay, India for the week. That is also his hometown. Can you imagine having to fly two to three whole days to get somewhere? That certainly would do a number on my patience.

"I am so sorry this took so long," Rebecca told me hurriedly. "I was running behind getting here this morning."

I Wake Up and the First Thing I Do Is Blog...

http://ispythingsdc.com/

Quite a refreshing and impressive looking nap you had there! It is 4:30 AM and you are going strong!

"When do you take your Christmas tree down?" was the question I posed for Charlie last night.

 Charlie said it was bad luck to leave it up after New Year's Day.

"At least, turn off the lights on New Year's Day," Charlie told me.

"But the lights look so pretty!" I exclaimed as I don't believe in all the pretentious nonsense about bad luck (claptrap). I am a prime example of shit just happens from time to time.

When I was a kid my mother would start taking down the Christmas tree on Christmas night and put away the ornaments. This quite stressed me greatly -- to the point my mother and I would argue vehemently about it. My father would have to come in and breakup the fight.

"New Year's Day Janice is cooking a pork loin, potato salad, black eyed peas, cornbread, and turnip greens," Charlie then told me. "I will bring you a plate."

Newegg Saves the Day...

My mother just called me and sounded like she had been asleep for days -- almost like marbles in her mouth as she spoke. Bless my dear mother. She doesn't mean any harm. She says Christmas depresses her.

Mom then told me two packages from Newegg have been delivered down under the portico by the door.

"It says 'may contain awesome' on the box," mom told me.

Yes, that would be my Radeon RX 480 video card and the corresponding display port cables needed to connect it to my 2 Asus monitors.

"I can't pick them up with my back the way it is," my mother told me forlornly.

"Can I come and get them now?" I asked my mother rather anxiously with an air of desperation to my voice.

"Those are your Christmas presents and your daddy would kill me," she replied.

I couldn't help but laugh. Mom is more astute than she seems to be. I was beginning to think that they would never get here. Dad must've gotten the 7-day free super egg saver shipping.

"I am coming to get my Cokes and my cigarillos," I told my mother. "I will move the presents inside the foyer."

Woo Hoo! I Got an Accolade!

"I was getting my hair done today," mom said over the phone this afternoon. "Rhonda (mom's hairstylist) said your outside lights are beautiful."

Rhonda lives just down the street from me. I blushed a little bit when mom said that. Rhonda's not one to give credit when credit is not due. She is a very stoic and stern lady.

"Tell her I said a very appreciative thank you when you go back Wednesday," I replied to my mother.

"She also said she could see your Christmas tree out from the road."

I had secretly hoped in a vain moment that you could see that tree from the road.

I'm Very Cheap But I Drive a Very Fast Car...

I parked at Fred's this afternoon when a brand new Porsche pulled up beside me and parked as well. I love the deep, throaty exhaust note of those cars. I followed the very frumpy looking fellow into the store.

"Sir?" I quickly informed the man before he opened the door. "Your headlights are still on."

"They will automatically turn off in a few moments," the man replied almost haughtily.

"Do you sell earrings?" the fellow loudly asked the cashier on duty when he stepped inside.

"No," the Farah Faucet look alike said. "But there is a nice jewelry store downtown."

The Days of Christmas Past...

I would have to say my most exhilarating holiday was when a got a train set for Christmas. My neighbor, Todd, had a train layout in his basement and I was captivated. I was so ecstatic after picking it out of the Sears catalog (remember those?). Mom acted like it was too expensive, but I kept my hopes up. I thought Christmas day would never get here -- the days passing by at a snail's pace.

We had to eat Christmas dinner in god's country, Waverly, with my grandmother and her two sisters as we did every Christmas. My father about couldn't tear me away from my train set. This led to my discovery of the very endearing magazines Model Railroader and Railroad Model Craftsman. I was forever hooked on model trains.

We'll Soon Have Christmas After a Long Nap...

Dad is putting the final touches on his very pretty Christmas tree this afternoon. Dad had colored lights this year which I wholeheartedly approved of and the grandkids will like it too. White lights are so passé it seems to me.

Dad and I are going later to get Charlie's Christmas tree up and rolling. Janice, Charlie's wife, is going to cook all of  us a southern style supper. Dad also said she had some spiced tea on the stove simmering when he was over there.

"The whole house smelled of cloves, cinnamon, and citrus," my father said.

"Where is Santa's little helper?" I then asked my father of my mother noticing my mother was nowhere to be seen.

"We're having a little too much Christmas today and she had to go lay down," my father said laughing.

I had to smile as well.

Welcome to a Xanax Sponsored Christmas...

http://www.paperepiphanies.com/

Well, mom did it -- the colossal task. My father and I thought it couldn't be done. She got her old dosage of Xanax reinstated after her doctor had cut the dosages in half. Dad said she called and raised hell with Dr. Backshi -- that her panic attacks were making her miserable and that they were coming back in full force.

"I almost didn't believe it at first, but she is back to taking 3mg per day," my father told me.

That's the secretary. Me? I wouldn't have the chutzpah to do what my mother did yesterday. Especially doing it over the phone.

Family Dynamics...

http://everyinvestor.co.uk/

"Dad's on his way home from the medication ritual and my house," I told my mother over the phone. "He has just left."

Mom loves it when I give her a little heads up like that. She says that waiting on my father to get home drives her crazy. He can come at 8:30 PM to 9:30 PM -- you never know. The pharmacy closes at 7 PM.

"Oh good!" my mother replied with a perky tone to her voice. "I missed him today. I'll be glad when he is officially retired."

"A little friendly advice from someone who has lived on both sides of the fence," I began to say.

"Let dad get settled down in his recliner with the TV on, and with his glass of Zinfandel in his hands before you drop any hard questions on him."

"I was going to talk to him about Connie and going back to Soft Tissue Therapy," my mother replied chirpily.

"Now's not a good night," I told my mother rather apologetically. "He is tired so let him relax and talk to him on his day off tomorrow. You will probably find him much more amenable in the morning."

Retail Therapy...

Mom was calling me early today wondering if she should get back to visiting her soft tissue therapist (sports medicine).  It has been about 3 years since she last went to see Connie. Just another road traveled on my mother's hypochondria fueled highway. My father will roll his eyes when she talks about it.

"What if they don't call me back?" my mother fretted something fierce as she asked me over the phone.

She had just called them and left a message. They seem to be closed on Thursdays.

"Will you drive me to Auburn?" mom then asked me.

"They will be glad to get the business," I replied to my mother putting out a worrisome wildfire of hers that soon would escalate and spread. "And yes, I will be glad to drive you to Auburn. We will eat lunch at Chick-fil-A or Jim Bob's."

I put the phone back in its cradle and then it rung again.

"I just put your Cokes and some cigars out on the porch," mom then said. "I had to make up a batch, but they are out there."

"Thank you so much," I very appreciatively told my mother.

Fred's and Piggly Wiggly were next on my journey to get my sodas this morning. Our Piggly Wiggly is spotless compared to Kroger I noticed today. It is as neat as a pen. I got a large family sized box of frosted flakes, 2 jars of pickled sausages, and a 6 pack of Vienna sausages at the Piggly Wiggly. I then got some more ornaments for my Christmas tree at Fred's.

Fred's had yet another new cashier this morning. She must've been flexible. She was a slim motherly looking lady with bleached blonde hair.