Life’s Little Victories…

My father really was orchestral in getting all this done. To him goes the glory. I just called him and thanked him for all his efforts today and the previous days beforehand.

Last night, I arrived home from grocery shopping to find Charlie parked out in front of my house. He has a key and had let himself inside. He was busy cleaning house – vacuuming the rug in my computer room. He stopped and helped me unload my groceries as my father then arrived.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Charlie inquisitively as he was then cleaning my bathroom sink. “I know you didn’t just come to clean.”

I was very glad to see him and so was the Magster. Thrilled would be a better term for the Magster.

“I am going to cut your hair again so you look good for the doctor,” Charlie said.

This was no doubt my father’s machinations. Old Fuss and Feathers parked himself on the couch with Maggie as Forensic Files droned on while Charlie cut and washed my hair. He gave me quite a nice haircut I might add. Old Fuss and Feathers said I looked like a new man. The deep shampoo and scalp massage was luxurious.

They soon left and Maggie and I settled down for the night. In the morning was my doctor’s appointment and I was as ready as I ever was going to be. Dad picked me up at 9:20am the next day and we headed down the interstate for a 10am appointment.

“I’m increasing your Risperdal 1 and half milligrams,” the doctor told me when I described the problems I had earlier in the week. “I will see you back in two weeks and let’s see how you are doing.”

So that makes 3 milligrams a day I am taking now on top of the 50mg I am getting with my long lasting injection every two weeks. My math is terrible, but I think that works out to be over 6mg a day. I thanked the doctor and dad and I left feeling something positive happened. Dad was worried he was going to take me off Risperdal and put me on another antipsychotic and all the teething pains that would result. Much of psychiatry is trial and error. In the beginning of my mental problems, I probably went through six drugs before they found one that worked.

Now, it was time for my and Maggie’s treat. We stopped at Hardee’s for sausage biscuits and steak biscuits. The biscuits are really stupendous at Hardee’s. Dad and I parked and ate our biscuits and I saved one for Maggie who relished it once I arrived home. It was still good and warm. She really was one happy dog. She hadn’t had a steak biscuit from Hardee’s in six months and neither had I.

Blood Makes Noise…

I could hear my blood ringing and rushing around my ears on the drive to my appointment in Opelika. Is it perceived or real? I do not know. I know it happens when I get under a lot of stress.

We signed in and had to fill out countless medical forms and the receptionist needed my ID and insurance information and cards. Just then, Dr. Edwards, my former psychiatrist, walked by with a cup of delicious smelling coffee in his hands.

“Dr. Edwards!” I exclaimed. “Are you still my psychiatrist?”

“Y’all are next after one more appointment,” he told me.

I was elated and let it be known. He smiled and probably thought, “Yes, this one needs to be medicated”. My father was thrilled as well and shook his fists in the air in a celebratory fashion.

He refilled my prescriptions and we don’t have to come back for 6 months.

Dad and I moseyed on over to Hardee’s and got two steak biscuits and one sausage biscuit – always a pleasure on such trips to the doctor.

This Should Prove Interesting…

I have an appointment in the morning with a brand new psychiatrist. My motto is why fix it when it isn’t broken? I am doing well on my current regimen of medications. Many times, a new psychiatrist will try to change your meds. Y’all be thinking about me in the morning. I am already nervous as hell about this endeavor – the ole butterflies are a fluttering.

The Lights Are On and No One's Home...

Dad and I arrived at 9 AM for my psychiatrists visit this morning. There was an ominous note on the door and then we stepped inside to inquire about it. The building was almost empty except for one solitary lady sitting in the reception booth barren of office equipment.

"Sir!" the lady said. "Grandview Behavioral Health gathered everything and left town."

"What?" my father exclaimed. "We have an appointment to see Dr. Edwards."

"He is no longer here and that's about all I know," she replied.

They didn't send us any notice of the move or how to retrieve my medical records. It was a ghost town.

At least, I've got another month of refills left. We signed up for an appointment with a new psychiatrist that will soon be setting up shop in the building. This will be my 7th psychiatrist I've had over the years. I don't doctor shop. They just all just retire or leave and go somewhere else.

Dad and I left and headed for Hardee's. He was still severely disgruntled. The steak biscuit I got was much consolation. I also got a diet drink to stick to my diet.

He's Not All That Bad...

I was sitting at the computer this afternoon when Maggie went apeshit bananas barking and whining. This could mean only two things. Charlie or my father were here. Maggie always had a more female reply to my mother's arrival.

"I thought I would surprise you and Maggie," my father said. "Here are you two Cokes already cold, your cigarettes and some lunch."

I had never seen Maggie happier.

"What did you cook?" I asked my father hungrily and eagerly.

"I cooked your favorite thing," he replied. "I cooked my pork chops and rice."

"There goes my diet," I said with a hearty laugh and then I gave my father a big hug.

Dad sat down for a minute as Maggie intently fawned for his affection.

"We go see Dr. Edwards (psychiatrist) Friday," dad told me. "You can get your two steak biscuits, or is that off the diet?"

"I will eat one instead of two," I said smiling at my father. "We can't get too austere."

Just one will be half my calories for the day.

"Can I run over to the Piggly Wiggly and buy some eggs?" I then asked my father.

"You sure can. Bring the receipt by to me on your way home," my father replied.

I am following Glittermom's advice and am going to eat two eggs every morning for my breakfast. The bagels are already in the freezer.

My father took a look at my medications and felt much better. I had taken my noon dose as planned and my nightly dose was awaiting to be taken.

I Felt Like Tiny Tim Forgotten and Abandoned...

Well, my doctor's appointment went swell (sarcasm). I didn't say one word other than the initial pleasantries as I walked into my doctor's office. Dad and I took our respective seats and soon the shenanigans began. Dad and my doctor got embroiled in a rolling and convoluted conversation about painkillers in the psychiatric and pharmaceutical world. They were talking shop as some would say.

"Don't look so slumped over and nervous like that," dad told me at one point trying to bolster me and my spirits. "You look pitiful!"

"I am nervous and I am having a lot of anxiety!" I protested as my doctor and my father continued their rolling conversation on painkillers.

I then very timidly and rudely said, interrupting the conversation, "I want to leave and go get Maggie's and my steak biscuits as our reward."

That was my father's cue to shake my psychiatrist's hand and tell him goodbye. I don't have to come back for another six months.

"I'm sorry," my father said on the drive home as we ate our biscuits. "I didn't realize how uncomfortable you were."

"I thought I was going to jump out of my skin for a moment there," I replied.

I Don't Wanna Wait!

Unfortunately, this morning is my visit with my psychiatrist which always equals a long, anxious and crazed wait in the lobby. It can seem like an eternity as patient after patient is called back and not us. My anxiety grows and grows as well to the point my hands soon shake. Dad and I will anxiously look at our watches as time passes. Dad and I both agreed to get the earliest possible appointment this time which is ten our time and nine Auburn time so hopefully, that will help.

One great caveat of this little venture is the two steak biscuits I get at Hardee's afterward. Those things are heaven on earth. Dad always gets a sausage biscuit and a Senior coffee.

"Now, don't say anything is wrong and you won't have to come back in six months," my father coached me over the phone this morning.

We were both trying to wake up, shower, and get dressed.

"What if something was wrong and I need help?" I argumentatively asked my father.

I had wanted to talk about how I cycle from day to night as far as my sleeping habits go.

"Then we will have to come back in two weeks after a medication adjustment or addition," my father replied sounding exasperated. "You don't want to have to come back in two weeks, do you?"

Let There Be Salutations, Much Joy, and Even More Excitement...

Well, we made it there and back -- Opelika that is. My father was very hyper and talking a mile a minute this morning throughout these procedures.

Dad was also thrilled when Dr. Edwards kept my medications to what I had been prescribed to for years. Dad gave me a high five as we walked out of the psychiatrist's office.

"Now, let's go get us some steak biscuits and a senior coffee for myself!" my father said very excitedly.

He still couldn't believe we got in and out of the doctor's office so quickly. We had set a new precedence. We usually have to wait an hour or more, but they called us back as soon as we sat down in the lobby for a change.

"You have beautiful ginger hair," I told the receptionist and she smiled shyly and blushed.

"Thank you!"

As always, the biscuits were tongue tantalizing. I had finished both my steak biscuits with mustard by the time we were passing Perlis truck stop on the way up the interstate -- about the halfway point to home.

Oh Dear...Houston We Have a Problem...

"Psychiatrist visit in the morning," my father told me during the medication ritual tonight.

"I know you don't want to go, but it must be done," Johnny Otis then told me.

The furry little Magster was laying perfectly on the floor and looked thoroughly comfortable.

"Is she sleeping?" my father asked and then I laughed.

"She's got one eye open for good measure. She's not going to miss a beat."

I happily gulped my myriad of pills down this evening. Luckily, I only have to see Dr. Edwards every six months now that I am "stable", Whatever stable is these days.

Dad told me to deter and coach me that if I talk about last week's depression, then I will have to come back in two weeks and would also cause a change in my medications. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

"I'll call you at ten in the morning to make sure you are up and we will get us both some steak biscuits afterward," my father furthered.

I could just float in a sea of Hardee's steak biscuits. Don't forget the mustard as well!

A Journeyman's Journal...

https://twitter.com/ladypsych

We had to wait an excruciatingly long time to see Dr. Edwards, my psychiatrist. Finally, they called us back and I was so very relieved. I had been battling with my anxiety for almost an hour fidgeting and wringing my hands. My father gave me a high five as we turned at the corner and headed down the long hall to completion. It was already going on nigh lunch.

"How are you, sir?" I asked my doctor as I sat down in his office.

He has two practices in Mobile and Auburn and said the long travel times can be arduous.

"Think of the prize," I kept telling myself about the two steak biscuits that I would indulge in soon.

Blood Letting...

My doctor wants a full battery of blood tests done. I always wondered why he didn't do this sooner so it wasn't a surprise. Dr. Kern, my old psychiatrist, had my lithium levels checked every month, Lithium and a few other medications I take are very hard on my liver and kidneys.

"I am putting 'The Secretary' in charge of you getting those blood tests," my father told me with a devilish grin and a laugh.

Luckily, though, that I can get my blood drawn at Kamath Medical and not the hospital. I will get this done when I get my Risperdal Consta injection next Thursday.

"Shit head!" I told my father smiling back.

Country Fried Steak Biscuits...

http://biscuitville.com/

I finally got my prize, two steak biscuits, and we headed up the interstate to home. The ex-large Coke was a nice bonus as well, Dad was just absolutely ecstatic that we actually got all that done. He said he had a lazy weekend ahead of him except for the Auburn game. He said the Auburn game would be his therapy.

"It has been a appointment kind of week with your mother and you," my father told me.

He had himself a senior coffee and a sausage biscuit. We both requested packs of mustard to go on our biscuits.

Soldiering Through the Quagmire...

I really don't want to talk very much about the psychiatrist/father situation.  I really shouldn't write about it all as I catch so much flak when I do.  I knew very well that when I got out of homelessness with my father's help then I would have to give up certain rights and civil liberties to do so. There was a price to pay. It was his way or the highway to put it bluntly.

My doctor and my father spent more time talking football yesterday than attending to my needs. Dr. Edwards did ask me if I wanted to try something different for the attention deficit and I said no while my father shook his head no as well.  We don't have to come back until July so that made my father happy.

Did anyone notice on my Thursday blog post that I had written about having one of the better days with my mental illness than I've had in a very long time? Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative needs to be my motto for this blog. I have to keep in mind that all of you just care for me or you wouldn't read the blog or write a comment for that matter.

Here comes my Auschwitz Mantra. I am so blessed beyond measure to have what I have.  I can put up with my father's idiosyncrasies to keep a roof over my head and a car in the driveway.

In other news, my two steak biscuits Friday morning were heavenly.  The only bad thing about eating two steak biscuits and drinking a gigantic Coke is when combined with my father's driving it can make me carsick.  My sister-in-law can't ride in a car with my father driving for this very same reason.

Last night, dad arrived for the medication ritual.  We took my medications and then fed and watered Maggie.

"You hungry?" my father asked me and I shook my head yes. "Let's go get you something good to eat."

My father has been very altruistic lately and it has me intrigued.  He has been taking a page out of Charlie's handbook. Charlie always brings me something to eat and drink when he resides over the medication ritual. My father said he would bring me something to eat tonight as well. We drove down to Wendy's and I got a double w/cheese and a large Coke. I think I am the only person on Giai's green earth that doesn't like french fries.

image credit:  http://quotesgram.com/accentuate-quotes/
image credit:  http://www.vancouverburgers.com/wendys-double-cheese-burger/

Steak Biscuit Bound...

These Country Fried Steak Biscuits Are Kickass Delicious.

Swoons!!!

So, Papa arrives tonight to great fanfare given by Maggie.  All the neighborhood dogs erupt in barking as well which makes my father and I smile.  "Barf! Barf!" dad was loudly and playfully vocalizing as he walked across my yard to the door from the car. Maggie was standing behind my screened door barking back ever louder.

"How has you day been, Chuck?" he asked me tonight as he doled out my crazy meds.

"I've had one of my best days in recent memory," I replied. "I wish I could bottle these days and save them for days that I feel less than stellar."

Dad patted me on the knee as we sat on my couch -- the television drawing him in like a moth to a flame. One of those programs which I call social conditioning was on in which some people also call the news or mainstream media. I really don't really know why I had the TV on in the first place.

"Oh, psychiatrist visit in the morning," my father then said abruptly as he remembered this detail. "What are you going to tell the doctor about that Strattera?"

"I am just going to say it was giving me terrible insomnia and I couldn't take it," I replied to my father as he was coaching me on what to say.

"We are striving for a six month next appointment like usual.We'll get us two steak biscuits each at Hardee's when we head back home," dad told me. "I want my senior coffee as well."

I think each steak biscuit has like a 1000 calories so with two biscuits you get your daily recommended value of calories! lol  But they are ohhh, so good!

image credit:  http://www.roadfood.com/Forums/Who-Makes-The-Best-Biscuit-Sandwiches-m719793-p2.aspx

Let’s Get ‘Er Done…

Well, I think I am ready for Risperdal Consta injections and the head shrink.  I smell very strongly of Irish Spring soap this morning and my face is freshly shaven and as smooth as a baby’s bottom scented of menthol.  I also have a clean white t-shirt with a thick brown pull over shirt and a suede black jacket ready to wear. Freshly laundered blue jeans and crisp, white socks round out my attire. My father will sigh with relief when he sees me walk into the pharmacy this morning.  His last words to me last night as he left my house were to ditch my usual thug hoodies and find something decent to wear tomorrow. “Take pride in yourself.”

I spent most of the night searching for new bands to listen to and playing Pacific Theater of Operations II for the Sega Saturn.  My advisory board would never declare war on the United States so I got aggravated and quit.  I had Pearl Harbor in my sights and my aircraft carriers in position. I am not very good at the diplomacy phase of the game just yet. You will learn young grasshopper!

One band that I did find last night that is promising to my ears is Supreme beings of leisure.  I will have to listen many more times to decide if I really like them.  I’ve been listening to a lot of Blue States lately that I found searching for bands that sound like Zero 7.  That’s the way I found the Thievery Corporation as well.

The End Times Are Here! My Father? Altruistic?

Earlier, I quickly drove across the Chattahoochee and got me two barbecue sandwiches from Roger’s – the two best sandwiches I had eaten in a long time and I eat a lot of sandwiches.  I just love Roger’s tangy and vinegary barbecue sauce. They don’t serve sweet, honey infused barbecue around here. It is an abomination.

I’ll tell you another good sandwich is when mom will make me two just run-of-the-mill bologna and Kraft cheese singles sandwiches. They just taste better when mom makes them.  She will gladly fix me some when it is the end of the week and I am running low on food. I always marvel at how fresh and soft mom and dad’s bread tastes.  I never have such luck when buying bread.

Dad arrived very, very late tonight after buying groceries first before arriving at my house.  I was pacing the floor of my den in wanton anticipation and agitation.  I was very livid and angry until what unfolded next…

“I asked your mother what you like to eat and she said you really love frosted flakes and milk.  She said they are always too expensive for you to buy,” dad told me. “I brought you some as a treat.  I got the big box of Frosted Flakes and a gallon of sweet milk. It wasn’t cheap! She said you needed spaghetti noodles so I got some of those as well.”

It is not like my father to be altruistic in such a manner.  Not at all. I had to feel his forehead to see if he was running a fever and feeling delirious. He laughed as I carried on happily about all of this

We took my medications as Maggie sat on the couch between my father and I. Dad called Maggie the supervisor. Just one big happy now medicated family. I had the band Blue State playing on my computer and my father remarked on how much he liked it.

“Your injection is at 9am and then we will drive down to Opelika and see Dr. Edwards,” dad told me. “Then we will go get us two steak biscuits each at Hardee’s. I want my senior coffee as well.”

I told my father to be kind if I act a little wacky.  I would have been asleep for hours by that time. That’s one of the few drawbacks to sleeping in the day when I have appointments like that.

Next, we fed and watered Maggie. She has her rituals as well, you know? She looked on in anticipation as my father threw out last night’s kibble and added fresh kibble to the bowl.  Maggie immediately began to daintily eat the chunks of freeze dried lamb out of her food.  She will save the kibble for later.

Photo Credit:  http://www.soap.com/p/frosted-flakes-cereal-box-61-9-oz-211321

Now Dammit! No More Surprises Please!

Dad told me last night that my psychiatrist appointment got cancelled and they rescheduled it to Thursday this week. This means I have to get my injection and attend a psychiatrist’s visit all in one day. Needless to say, that sent me into a nosedive and then into a tailspin. I was not and still am not a happy camper.

“We’ll get us some steak biscuits at Hardee’s afterwards,” my father said trying to soften the blow. “I’ve already told Angie I need this Thursday off.”

That was at least some consolation for me. Hardee’s steak biscuits are my favorite fast food breakfast biscuit bar none.  They always say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I do adore and love a Hardee's steak biscuit or two. With mustard of course!  I also want a big ass Coke in compensation as well.  At least, Dr. Edward’s lobby now has Wi-Fi internet.  I will take my iPad in case there is a long wait time before I am to be called back.

One of the things I am going to talk to Dr. Edwards about is my attention span.  I can’t concentrate long enough to read a book, watch TV or a Movie, and I have problems staying focused on my video games. I can write blog posts and view the internet fine.  Peculiar, isn't it?

A Very, Very Busy Day…

I had a psychiatrist’s appointment yesterday at lunch.  I had been dreading it for days.  Dad had a lot on the agenda and was worried I couldn’t handle it all as we headed to Auburn.

“We can give it my best try,” I said nervously unsure of myself.

So the head shrink appointment was first. We didn’t have to wait long thankfully. My biggest pet peeve is doctors who are not on time. The doctor tried to change my medications and my father immediately intervened.  He wanted to take me off my nightly dose of Risperdal.  Dr. Edwards acquiesced and wrote the prescription.  

Then, we went to Best Buy so I could get a World of WarCraft two month game time card which was $29.99.  We then went to Lowes to look for some flower pots my father had been needing.  Next was lunch at Western Sizzlin.  I got a delicious 14oz flamekist ribeye steak and a salad with lots of croutons, bacon bits, and just drenched in blue cheese dressing like I like it.  Next, we went to WOW! to get my father a new digital cable box.  Our last stop was to get our car tags renewed.  My very last task was to hook up my parent’s new cable box and get them back online.  Boy, was I tired and pooped out.

Well, I came home and completely crashed in the bed after all that.  Dad arrived at my house ready to go buy groceries around 9pm and I was far too groggy to go so we are going tonight. We performed our nightly medication and Maggie rituals and I crashed in the bed again.  Dad did run down to McDonald’s and got me three quarter pounders with cheese so I would have something to eat other than dog food.  lol

Photo credit:   http://weeklyups.com/blizzard-denies-a-free-version-of-world-of-warcraft/world-of-warcraft-characters/