I Guess It’s Over…

Stacey came storming into the house last night saying we needed to talk. I knew exactly what that meant when a woman says that.

“This is just not going to work,” she told me with a furious look on her face. “I never get to see you and when I do, you are sleepy and tired.”

“What can I do about it?” I asked, flummoxed. “I have to go to work! I have to support myself!”

“I think we need some time to just think about where YOU want to take things!”

“Fine,” I said complacently and she left after staying only a few moments.

I had already cooked supper and set the table. I sat and ate alone last night. I guess it’s over. I haven’t heard from her since. I am thinking I jumped into a relationship too soon into my recovery anyway. I felt an odd sense of relief last night at the possibility of no longer being badgered about our relationship for a change. I am just going to lie low and put the ball in Stacey’s court. Let her do what she will. Mentally and anxiety-wise, I can’t take any fights or arguments. I have enough on my plate at the moment for the time being with work.

Cellphones Galore…

I have to work again tonight and the overtime will be nice. I didn’t complain or balk when my supervisor asked me to work six days in a row once again. Nights are boring without work – with me just sitting at home alone all night with nothing to do, but use the Internet and watch TV.  Most of my Twitter friends are asleep and Facebook is a wasteland after midnight.

Cellphones kept me busy last night. Everyone was wanting our new low cost plans and phones. I am urged to sell the most cellphone for the most money, but I am like these people and realize I spent too much money on my Crackberry and an expensive data plan. I should’ve bought something more simple and economical. These new Wal-Mart branded phones we are selling have few bells and whistles, though, so are not for the tech savvy consumer. They are just for people who only casually and intermittently use their phones – not for the power user.  They are mainly for very frugal people and low income families. I think it is a good thing our company is doing and so good for competition in a cellphone market glutted with expensive phones and outrageous service plans.

A Political Animal…

“I am hoping we can get another tax cut,” Jim told me last night eating his turkey and Swiss on rye. “Be sure to vote coming up!”

“Oh, I am the kind of person you don’t want to vote,” I replied with a warm smile and laugh. “I believe in taxes and think we must pay our part to help the common good. I just wish the money was spent wisely and not on the military and wars. I think the tax system needs to be reformed, though. Our tax code is over 70,000 pages long! I would like to see a flat tax or a national sales tax.”

“What would you spend the money on if you were President?” Jim asked.

“Education and economic stimulus for family owned businesses,” I replied. “I would bolster the middle class and do away with welfare for corporations.”

“But you work for one of the biggest, most profitable corporations in our country,” Jim said contrarily.

“I know,” I replied. “It is a bit of irony with my unorthodox political and socioeconomically interesting leanings, but it was an economic necessary evil for me.”

Update on George…

George’s keen sense of humor has seemed to have returned after his long tenure in prison. This morning he was talking about all the women he was going to bed in the upcoming months before Christmas. I laughed as I walked alongside of him as he pushed in a long string of carts. I realize my best friend can be kind of simple minded at times – the most basic human needs and aspirations motivating him. 

“You need to experience a black woman at least once in your life,” George told me.

I smiled as I told him I think I was with a black woman once sexually, but was too drunk to remember it.

“That doesn’t count,” George said with a serious look on his face. “You would have remembered it as a good black woman would knock your socks off!”

I burst out laughing and told George I was always open to possibilities.

This and That…

• Well, it is safe to say that most of you think anonymous comments are a bad idea. I will leave them off for most likely permanently. If you want to comment, then sign up for a Google account.

• Stacey asked me to help her get out of debt last night. I was overjoyed to help – often worrying about her tendency to frivolously charge items on her many credit cards. She loves to shop for clothes and jewelry online. I told her it is going to take probably a year, but we could do it.

• Mom called me last night complaining about dad’s obsessive football watching habits. I smiled. I don’t much care for watching the games, but I will keep up with the scores on ESPN.com.  Dad and my brother are just fanatical about it, though.

• I cooked mom’s spaghetti last night and it was delicious. I made a salad with a balsamic vinaigrette and toasted some barbecue bread. Stacey has decided this is her favorite recipe of mom’s.

• Stacey is in the bed at the moment with Caramel and Sadie. Maggie got up with me and is lying on the bed in my computer room. She insists on staying in any room I am in. She is my constant companion with Caramel being more aloof about such things.

• I was overjoyed tonight when I found out how to change the resolution on my HDTV to it’s non-native resolution. I have it hooked up to my computer as my main monitor and this gives me extremely much more screen real estate. I was so happy and it is like having a whole new computer.

• I am passingly listening to Coast to Coast AM at the moment. They are talking about some “monkey virus” and the death of Sonny Bono not being an accident. I am not entirely interested in tonight’s program, but listen out of habit.

• I am still enjoying my iPad. I had to yank it out of Stacey’s hands last night as we lay in the bed browsing. I am going to buy her one for Christmas. She loves it. It is really great for just browsing the web, which is mainly what I normally do. I use my laptop and main computer to update the blog.

• I spent a long time yesterday putting together another second hand computer out of parts I had lying around. I’ve got it connected wirelessly in the den where I can stream the music off my 2 terabyte drive in my main computer to my surround system in that other room. Stacey says I am obsessed with computers just like my ex-wife always used to say. 

• I am trying to decide what I want for Christmas. I have $500 dollars to spend. I am thinking a new digital surround system for my computer and a new sound card. I listen to most of my music through my computer these days.

• I mowed two lawns for $50 dollars late yesterday afternoon. It was just sweltering, though. I was glad to finish and get home to start supper and see Stacey.

• I am about to drive over to get my six diet Cokes for the day. This is one of the more pleasing ritruals I experience everyday. I love the early morning drive as I listen to the CD du jour.  

• I was toying with the idea of quitting taking my Risperdal. I am on only 2mg per night now.  I was on 8 1/2 miligrams at one point. I feel it makes me feel tired and fatigued. I just want to be off all these medications. As my medication levels continue to drop, I feel better and better as each week passes. I can be so impatient.

I’m Fine With Overtime…

I left George’s last night to bring my cable box and digital video recorder to dad. He was happy.

“This will cut your cable bill in half,” he told me as we put the boxes into his car. “I will continue to let the pharmacy pay for it. I get a discount on my business plan for having my residential accounts on it as well.”

“I don’t watch much TV,” I replied. “Just let me keep my faster level of Internet service.”

He agreed.

I thought we had a no overtime policy at work. I guess it only applied to non-associates. They wanted me to work last night and I was happy to get the extra money. I am making more money than I know what to do with with my disability subsidizing all my living costs. I have a lot of expendable income these days and it is all getting squirreled away for a future possible emergency. I am following my psychiatrist’s and therapist’s advice about that.

Work was routine. I spent a lot of time stocking the shelves again last night.  We got a bunch of new video games in and I took a long time reading the boxes as I put them away curiously. I so wish I could play video games again. I used to play with a passion and could play for hours every day. I am still fascinated by them, but as soon as I start to play, I grow bored easily. I guess I am finally growing up.

Jim was off last night and I missed him. I did have one lady who runs one of the point of sales up front come back and buy a new cellphone. She was very nice and very pretty. I had to restrain myself from flirting.  

As soon as I walked into the house after work, my cellphone rang. It was mom. She was fretting over my diet sodas she gives me every day.

“I got Judy to order you cases of diet Coke now that you are drinking caffeine again,” she told me. “We had a hard time ordering the diet Sprite so that will work well.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

“What about your anxiety?” mom asked. “Doesn’t the caffeine affect you?”

“I haven’t had much anxiety for about a week now,” I told her.

“That is just wonderful, Jonathon,” mom replied. “I wish I could get my anxiety under control. I had the most awful panic attack yesterday.”

Mom has been putting little treats in my sack of cokes she gives me every day.  Yesterday, she put a box of Cheez-Its. My favorite snack. The day before was some beef jerky for Maggie and Caramel. Dad would never do these kinds of things and I appreciate it very much. Mom is so thoughtful. 

Well, I need to get out this afternoon and mow some lawns. It has been so dry lately that most of my business has dried up with it as well. I have a few clients that just want me to weed eat and do some general shaping up. My own lawn is just about dead from such a dry summer. It is brown and dormant. I am off tonight and look forward to a night of just goofing off and generally doing nothing, but staying on the Internet and listening to four hours of Coast to Coast AM. Stacey is also staying the night as well and I will get us up a good supper. She wanted to go out to eat, but I persuaded her into letting me defrost and for us to have mom’s spaghetti. I am so looking forward to that. I hope you all are having a great weekend and I will check in again tonight. I have lots of time to write tonight and it should prove interesting.

That Shifty Guy in Aisle Three…

I learned long ago working in convenience stores and in a retail pet store that if a customer is spending a lot of time watching the clerk, then he or she is most likely up to something no good.  A man was in my department early this morning and every time I looked up from my laptop he was watching me to see if I was watching him.  Fortunately, almost all items in the electronics department have RFID (radio frequency identification devices) chips in them.  Anything he would steal would set off the alarms at the front doors as he walked out.  This didn’t stop him from eyeing me closely, though.

“Do you need any help?” I finally asked him.

“Oh, I am  just browsing,” he told me looking passingly at all the cellphones we had on display.

I finally ignored him and would just let him do his worst – expecting the loud glaring noise of the alarms going off as he left which never happened.  I guess he got cold feet.  

Jim showed up again around 3am to purchase his deli sandwich and orange juice.  We talked a lot about reforming Social Security.  He said his worst fears were that a Republican administration would get in the next election cycle and privatize it.  I echoed his fears.  I assuaged his worries some telling him Social Security was solvent into the 2030’s.  We still have lots of time for reform.

It was another very slow night, but I didn’t mind.  I didn’t sleep very well yesterday and was groggy all night – drinking lots of diet sodas to stay awake. I spent much of my time this early morning learning all the myriad of cellphone service plans we have to offer – my weakest link to my job in electronics.

Mexican Tuesday’s…

Mom stopped by last night with two big containers of chicken fajitas, chips and salsa and two of the largest cups of sweet tea you have ever seen.  The hot and fresh fajitas smelled so good that I left the mushroom and chicken in the fridge choosing to save it for tonight.  Stacey and I ate our meals and soon curled up in the bed to “talk”.  It was a one sided conversation as just lay on the bed and listened to all of Stacey’s worries and fears – mainly about her children.  She doesn’t get to see them as often as she would like with her mom living near Atlanta.  She has to work all the time and it is hard to schedule visits. 

“I’ve been thinking of getting a vasectomy,” I told Stacy at one point getting in my two cents.  “I’ve been musing over this idea for many weeks now.  I don’t think I ever want children of my own.”

Stacey grew alarmed saying that if we were to get married then she would like to have a child by me.  She pleaded with me not to do anything rash that I would regret later.  We will just have to see how I feel about it in a few more months. 

Tomorrow is the Big Day…

“Monte is driving us down in my sister’s van Thursday,” Mrs. Florene told me on the phone last night. “I am so excited I am about beside myself.  I have just been so stir-crazy for many months without George home. I spent some time cleaning his room and washing his sheets today in preparation.  I also got his Internet service hooked back up.”

“Tell Monte the prison is easy to find,” I told Mrs. Florene. “Just take a right at the Atmore exit and the prison will be on the left a few miles down the road.”

“Do you think he will get parole?” Mrs. Florene asked me, wanting words of encouragement.

“Yeah,” I said. “I think he will.  I have the highest hopes that we will have him home this weekend.”

George’s letters from jail lately have been so optimistic.  He says he paces his jail cell passing his days in excitement and nervousness – loving the intermissions for meal call.  He wrote me yesterday saying that one of his biggest joys this past few months was getting my often daily blog posts I have been mailing him.  That made me feel so good. 

FaceBook and Me…

Don’t worry! I am not going to stop blogging like “The Homeless Guy” to hide on FaceBook.  I am averaging around 500 to 600 readers a day these days on the blog.  It is good to know people are reading, if not commenting.  It encourages you to write knowing you have an audience to write for. About blog comments -- Blogger’s comment system being entirely too tiresome and tedious to use and not amenable to getting more comments.  I could open up anonymous comments, but we all know what happens when I do that.  It gets entirely too “interesting” for my tastes. It tends to aggravate and upset my more supportive readers than it does me and I will keep them off for the time being.  It is easy to see the cowardice of a negative anonymous comment as anyone can sign up for a Google account and comment on my blog.  I could also easily ban them with Blogger’s new commenting tools as well marking them as spam. 

I am slowly shifting to FaceBook after all my misgivings about the social media, though.  For my iPad, it is entirely easier to update FaceBook at work – little blurbs about how my day is going during brief breaks from helping customers.  Blogging is just not conducive with the onscreen keyboard on the iPad.  Comments often come easier, often and more freely on FaceBook with it being entirely easier to do so.  It is nice to get little notes of encouragement as I go about my day – especially today with it having been my first full day of training in my new position in electronics. 

Unfortunately and much to my chagrin, most, if not all, of my former blogging friends have migrated to FaceBook – Google Reader being devoid of new blog posts as I check in several times per day.  I literally removed over 50 blogs today from Google Reader that haven’t updated in over a month.  Is blogging growing passé?  I fear in our attention deficit society that reading a longer more fleshed out blog post is just not as appealing as short, little easily read blurbs on FaceBook.  I hope my fears are unfounded.  One former blogging friend told me that FaceBook was just “easier”.

I also purged my FaceBook account of most of my “friends” that were family.  That gave me more impetus to write with the medium.  I just don’t want my sister going back to dad about what I am doing these days – choosing to stay private as far as my family goes.  Seeing as how I have little inhibition in what I will write, it was an easy step to take.  

First Day of Training…

I worked from 7am to 3pm today on my first day of training.  Derrick and my new supervisor let me loose towards the the end of my shift to handle sales and the cash register.  I was very nervous all day, but managed to keep any anxiety attacks at bay. I kept thinking of what my Therapist told me on Wednesday – that it is perfectly normal to feel anxiety about work and for it to not be mental illness related.  I took much solace in that thought.  I did have four Klonopin in my pocket at the ready, but only needed to take one around lunch on my break when I began to feel my heart racing.  Within thirty minutes of chewing the pill, I felt fine again. 

Next on the agenda will be adjusting to working nights for a change.  I slept my normal 7:30pm to 3:30am sleeping schedule last night, but must go to bed earlier today to prepare for Sunday night – my first night of being thrown to the lions so to speak.  I will be the sole person working electronics at night with no supervisor to lean on, or Derrick for that matter.  I hope they will continue to train me well tomorrow.  I plan on soon taking my Ambien and my other two allotted Klonopin for the day and heading to bed with the pups around 4:00pm to 4:30pm.  I am just exhausted after my first day. 

Stacey is Not Entirely Happy With My New Position…

“I am never going to see you now!” she said exasperated last night on the phone. “I know you and you will want to sleep in the late afternoons before work!”

“Well, I don’t want to be sleepy on the job,” I replied in my defense. “I just don’t want to be miserable.”

Stacey has worked for Wal-Mart for many years and maybe has some sway with her supervisor.  I suggested she ask to take on the afternoon shift for a change. Then we would have morning’s together. We will also have the weekends together for a change with me working from Sunday night to Thursday night on a regular basis. I hope that will assuage the situation some.    

Climbing the Rungs of the Ladder…

“I hated to do this,” my supervisor said this morning solemnly after she had arrived at seven. “But there is an opening for a nightshift associate in electronics.  Derrick and his supervisor both think you would be the perfect fit.  I recommended the position for you to my big boss this morning. I am going to miss you.  You have been a joy to work with.”

I didn’t know what to say.  I love my current job.  Thoughts started to cascade through my brain of all the extra responsibility and working with the public for a change.

“What are the details of the job?” I asked my supervisor wanting to know about hours, benefits and pay.

“Your first full night would be Sunday night working from 11pm to 7am in the morning.  They are going to train you during the day on Friday and Saturday.  You would be the sole person working the counter for the night.  It would mean several more dollars per hour as you will now be an associate.  You would now have full benefits and 401K.”

My supervisor could see I was very visibly conflicted about taking the job.

“I would love to see you stay with me, but I think it is the perfect opportunity for you.  You deserve it. You have worked very hard for me. Take the job. I started out as an associate and worked my way up to supervisor and you could too.”

I thought for a long moment before I told her I would take the job.  This is going to be very interesting.  I love electronics and spend all my free time at work hanging out there helping customers and talking to Derrick about all things gadget, cellphone, TV and computer related.  I know my stuff as far as the department goes.  I am excited and conflicted at the same time.  I am just going to do my best and not let this opportunity pass me by.  Social anxiety be damned!

Saying Goodbye to Digital Cable and HDTV…

I just don’t watch much TV these days and the channels I do watch are in the “basic” lineup offered by my cable company.  I thought I would enjoy HDTV, but it is just an expensive gimmick in my opinion.  I’ve been trying to get up the courage to call my cable company and cancel digital TV and take back my DVR and cable box, but my phone phobias have been getting the better of me these days.  I called dad last night and told him to cancel them for me as I just couldn’t do it myself.

“Thank you,” he said. “Your cable bill is running a $100 dollars a month and the pharmacy is paying for it.  I had your account on my business plan along with Charlie’s accounts and my home account.”

“I just don’t watch all those channels,” I told dad. “It is a waste of money.”

“I was going to say something to you about it, but I didn’t want to upset you.  I was keeping the peace.”

“Just put me on basic cable, tell them to come pick up the DVR and let me keep my fast Internet and I will be happy,” I replied.

“Sounds like a good plan,” dad said. “You are thinking good for a change.”

I will probably miss it once it is gone, but the only digital channel I watched was WeatherNow and it has been consistently broken for months now making it practically worthless.

Travels with Mom and Supper with Stacey…

I had one lawn to mow yesterday from a call I got the other day.  He was a very nice elderly man with a medium sized yard that only took me 30 minutes to mow.  He paid me and I loaded up my mower on my trailer and headed home to take a nap.  It would be awhile before Stacey would be off of work and I had time to kill before getting supper ready.  It was the perfect opportunity to curl up with my pups and grab some sleep. 

I hadn’t been asleep for long when there was a knock on the door.  It was mom wanting to go for our daily drive down through the Valley.  She had just been grocery shopping and to the hairdressers. 

“Let me see your face,” mom said worriedly of my abscessed molar as I turned to look at her. “Good! The swelling  has gone down.  I called your father to call the dentist to get you more antibiotics.  The dentist is going to start you on a Z-Pak and then wants to pull that wisdom tooth.”

I didn’t argue about getting the tooth pulled.  I just hope Medicare will pay for part of the cost.  Mom had been by dad’s pharmacy before she drove to my house and had two diet Cokes for me at the ready to drink as a treat.  These kinds of things mom will do, dad would never think of.  I appreciated it very much.  Mom always pays careful attention to the details.  We were on our way down through the Valley to talk and enjoy each other’s company.

I arrived home to find Stacey’s Eclipse parked out in front of my house.  I was excited to see her.

“Your home theater is entirely too complicated to operate,” she told me, throwing problems on me as soon as I walked in the door. “I can’t figure out how to turn on the sound to your TV!”

I walked over to my entertainment center and pushed the on button on my theater receiver and instantly there was surround sound. Stacey glared at me saying she had been trying for thirty minutes to figure out how to turn on the sound.

I then got supper started.  I put mom’s tangy chicken in the oven and started to steam some rice and broccoli on the stove. I also made homemade biscuits last night using Mrs. Florene’s recipe. They were delicious.

The evening ended as Stacey left to allow me to go to bed at 7:30pm.  I took my Ambien and a Klonopin at seven and was soon so sleepy I could barely stay awake.  I ate one more tangy chicken breast and a few biscuits and retired to bed thus ending my day.   

The Hardest Thing I Have Ever Done…

…was quitting smoking.  It has been a few weeks now smoke free and already my lungs are clearer, food tastes exponentially better and I can breathe out of my nose for the first time in years.  It hasn’t been an easy row to hoe, though, with Stacey still smoking.  I realize from smelling her clothes after she comes in from my porch to smoke how much you stink – the odor just wafts through the whole room.  I don’t want to become one of those bitter anti-smoking Nazis I always abhorred during my smoking days, though.  Live and let live will be my mantra. 

One of the most notable differences is with work.  I no longer completely obsess over my next cigarette break – able to do a much better job.  I took entirely too many smoke breaks at work much to my non-smoking supervisor’s chagrin.  My addiction would force me to play fast and loose with our congenial relationship – her often letting me get away with far too much with regards to my many breaks to imbibe.  I now feel some peace after a few weeks of abstaining and can safely say, now, that I have quit smoking.  Now, to get that musty cigarette odor out of my home!  Can you say Febreeze and Glade Plug-Ins?

Shying Away From the Family Topic…

Driving to Auburn for a visit to the psychiatrist or therapy is always a good excuse to get my favorite breakfast.  I got my two steak biscuits, hashrounds and a diet Coke and sat in the restaurant eating as I used their Wi-Fi this morning with my iPad.  It was an enjoyable experience following on the heels of a very productive therapy session.

I shied away from talking about family today to focus on goals for the future and implementing them.  I needed guidance and encouragement that I am not taking on too much, too fast.

“Where would you like to see yourself next year this time?” my therapist asked.

“I would like to be completely independent, owning the current house I live in,” I replied. “I would also like to be fully self supporting with my new business.”

“Lofty goals,” my therapist replied with a smile. “But easily achievable.”

I then showed her my anxiety workbook – us discussing methods for dealing with my anxiety.  I am officially diagnosed now not as Schizoaffective, but as suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and social anxiety – just another list of disorders in the very long list of disorders I’ve had over the years.

“You have said before that you are very candid with your boss about your disability,” my therapist said. “Discuss with her ways that can ease your anxiety at work.  What causes the most anxiety for you when you are working?”

“The unknown mainly,” I replied. “I never know when I will be asked by a customer out of the blue for help causing me social anxiety.  I never know if it is going to be a very busy day or one of my more ploddingly slow days.  I want everyday to be the same with little excitement or diversion.”

“I think we can all feel that way, though, about our jobs,” my therapist told me. “Work is stressful.  You are performing a service for a wage.  Most people have a lot of anxiety and misgivings about work.  I think that is perfectly normal and not mental illness related.”

I felt better for our hour talk.  It has been money well spent I have decided.  I am going to try and stick to this therapy thing and maybe in a few weeks start to open up more freely about my family and it’s extreme dysfunction. 

The Call on the Drive Home from Auburn…

“What you doing?” Stacey asked me as I drove up the interstate back to the Chattahoochee Valley.

“Oh, I am listening to Joni Mitchell’s Misses CD, just passing the Cusseta exit on the interstate and thinking about you and last night,” I replied.

“Next time take two Ambien so you will sleep the whole night with me,” she asked pleadingly. “I missed you after you left.  I want to wake up in the morning’s with you next to me.”

I laughed at the thought of taking two Ambien.  Surely, that would put me in a stupor to be remembered.  I am finding a relationship with a woman to be a very careful game of give and take.

“I don’t think that would be very wise,” I replied. “I have already grown addicted to taking those pills to sleep.”

Stacey couldn’t talk long being at work, but we did both agree that last night’s experience was better than nothing – that my being over at her house with her is very important to her life.  I said goodbye after we discussed dinner plans at my house – me coming home to defrost mom’s tangy chicken. For a woman supposedly with bipolar disorder, she is one of the more even keeled women I have dated.  For that, I am grateful and enjoy spending my life with her. 

Home at Last!

“Where are you going?” Stacey asked as I crawled out of her bed at 3am getting dressed.

I normally get up close to this time anyway so it was only natural for me to start my day.  Stacey very audibly sighed.

“You need better hours at work,” she said, frustrated. “Our schedules just don’t jibe.”

I was badly missing my pups and the comfort of my own home – feeling like this alien visitor in Stacey’s house.  Despite taking two Klonopin and an Ambien, I lay awake for a long time last night after supper – listening to the sounds of the fall crickets outside the window and Sadie’s obsessive preening at the foot of the bed. Stacey stayed up late watching her favorite television show as I went on to bed around eight near my normal time.

“I’ll see you this afternoon,” I told her, kissing her goodbye.

I arrived home and immediately settled into my more normal routines after stopping by mom and dad’s to get my six diet Sprite for the morning. 

Stacey’s supper was really good, though.  She surprised me.  She cooked an extremely creamy, rich and decadent poppy seed chicken casserole. I went back for seconds which pleased her to no end. 

We also had an extremely candid conversation after supper about her bipolar disorder.  I don’t believe she is bipolar.  She exhibits none of the classic signs like my mother did when my siblings and I were growing up.  She doesn’t have manic phases which are so characteristic of the disease.  She also doesn’t exhibit signs of depression either.

“Maybe I am slow cycling,” Stacey replied as if she wished she was bipolar to explain her sometimes interesting behavior.

I can remember being so oddly overjoyed at being diagnosed Schizophrenic as I had a solid excuse for my own often abhorrent and odd social behavior. 

“Charlie says we are all crazy in our own way,” I replied in her defense, trying to assuage her worries. “I like to think of the two of us as being eccentric – like the mad scientists of old.”

Stacey smiled and held my hand. 

I honestly think too many people are misdiagnosed these days with there being no medical tests for these disorders of the brain.  You must keep in mind that I am entirely cynical when it comes to psychiatry as well these days.  Fearing that more harm is often done than good.  My own observations and experiences prove this.  Once bitten, twice shy as the old saying goes.  These one size fits all disorders just do not sit well with me for some reason.

Thoughts for Therapy…

I’ve been thinking this early morning what to talk to my therapist about.  I am sure my father will be a prominent topic of interest, but I mainly want to talk about goals for the future and implementing these goals.   For the first time in years, I feel happy and content, but there is this strong inclination to want more and achieve higher heights in my recovery.  I can be such an impatient individual and want results now.   I tend to live in the present and it has often been one of my Achilles’ heels over the years.  That’s why I never did good in school – always living in the present and never thinking of the future.  My mind couldn’t grasp that hard work today would equate to an A at the end of the semester.  Luckily, I was smart enough to always get by.  I don’t think I ever brought a book home during high school – choosing to stuff them into my locker for the next day.  As I have grown older, this inclination has been tempered some – the hard realities of adulthood and life forcing me to focus more on the future and goals. 

I was thinking this morning of what my therapist told me to do during our last visit about my disability and dad’s obsessive control over that money.  She said I should call county mental health and have a unbiased third party as my representative payee.  I reluctantly called for an appointment, but there was a backlog of patient intake and my appointment would be three months away. I plan to be off disability in May so it wouldn’t be much longer after I started receiving services that I would be out of the system.  I would also have to forego my current and beloved psychiatrist to start receiving mental health services from the county funded psychiatrist.  Something about that made me shy away in horror – the thoughts of an overworked and underpaid doctor came to mind – disheveled from the strain of his caseload.  I will just be content with the current and stable status quo – letting sleeping dogs lie.  I really don’t need that disability money anymore anyway.  And that is so freeing – to cast away a shackle that has kept me oppressed for years.  Disability is a vicious cycle once your in the system.   I was lucky I had a wealthy family who could afford to keep me in a house and car thus affording me more independence than your average disability recipient.  My living expenses were heavily subsidized by my father.  You could never afford to live independently on the meager allotment disability affords you unless you lived in the most poverty stricken circumstances.  

Dental Woes…

“The left side of your face is swollen,” mom said as we drove down through the Valley yesterday afternoon.

I looked in the rear view mirror and sure enough, I looked like a lopsided chipmunk.  I have been feeling extreme fatigue the past two days and realized I have an abscessed molar which is causing this feeling.  My body is fighting a strong infection.  Lucky and I seem to be in the same boat these days.

“I’ll get you a dentist’s appointment,” mom said excitedly, always eager to add more appointments to my healthcare calendar.

“No way!” I said in horror – my strong distaste of visiting the dentist overriding any pain and discomfort I am feeling. “I have a whole bottle of amoxicillin at home and will take it to see if that helps.”

Mom sighed, always aggravated at my aversion to professional healthcare.  I tried to explain to her the common truth that men are just not as likely to visit a doctor as women are.  Mom usually has enough appointments lined up to be her health insurance’s worst case nightmare.

“Should I talk about you during Therapy tomorrow?” I then asked mom as we drove by Fairfax elementary school at the end of our journey down through the Valley. “I would like for you to be more assertive and gain more control of your life, and I worry about you.”

Mom laughed nervously.

“Your father says I have a nice life being able not to work, have nice cars, and sleep all the time,” Mom replied. “He says I don’t lack for anything.”

“But are you happy with all that?” I asked hoping for the reply I surmised I would get.

“No,” mom replied. “I am miserable. I get so lonely and just lie in the bed for hours everyday. Your father is never home and Helen gets on my nerves she is such a busybody. Your father says he would love not to have anything to do and that I should be grateful.”

I laughed with a smirk.

“Dad is going to go nuts when he retires and sells the pharmacy,” I told mom. “He won’t know what to do with himself after being a workaholic for thirty years.”

“You think so?” mom asked.

“I know so,” I replied. “He will probably constantly travel or find something work like to fill his time.”

I love my mother dearly and hate to see her in the predicament she is in – much the same predicament I experienced for years.  How do you change another person’s life for them – to encourage them to fight for their freedom and independence?  I guess you can’t.  I don’t think things will ever change for the better for my mother.  She is just too codependent on my father.  I know that sounds so maudlin, but it is the sad and honest truth. 

Time for a Day Off…

I can see why Ambien can be so addicting.  You quickly become reliant on it to get a good night’s sleep and worry if you don’t take it, you will be miserable without it the next day.  I slept so well again last night – going to bed around 8:00pm and waking up at 4:00am.  Giving me eight good hours of sleep.  I really haven’t slept this well in years.  I also feel so relaxed after taking it – almost as if I took a muscle relaxer.  I got in the bed last night with the biggest smile on my face the covers felt so cool and comfortable, and I was so relaxed and calm.  It had been many years since I felt that way about going to bed often dreading it in that it would often take an hour for me to fall asleep previously.  I was asleep within minutes of laying my head on the pillow thirty minutes after taking the pill and then going to bed. 

A Steak on a Plate…

Dad grilled steaks last night for him and mom.  He brought me by a plate of a large sirloin steak, baked potato, and toasted barbecue bread around 7:00pm.  I had just called him warning him big storms were on the way.

“You were right,” dad said, always so excited about the weather. “The heavens opened up just after you called.  I had just gotten the steaks off the grill.”

It is hurricane week on The Weather Channel and it is hard to get current and local weather information.  Dad is still finding it hard to adjust to using the Internet as a weather resource like I do. His computer just doesn’t interest him.   And our favorite local weather television station, WeatherNow, is broken again as usual much to our chagrin.  Dad couldn’t keep up with the weather last night.

“The Weather Channel is just going to die as far as weather fans go,” dad said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it goes under.”

“They are catering to a mainstream audience now for the advertisement dollars,” I replied. “It was a shame NBC bought them.”

We both have lots of misgivings about the “new” and “improved” weather channel. You know it’s pretty bad when two weather nuts are not watching a channel that is supposed to be devoted to all things weather related. 

Dad didn’t say much last night other than asking me if I had taken my medications.  He is relieved that my current psychiatrist still has me on an antipsychotic still insisting that mom and I are schizophrenic. I like to call myself eccentric these days rather than mentally ill.  I told him she has dropped it to 2mg and he grumbled some. I didn’t tell him that I hoped to be off that antipsychotic before Christmas and that my psychiatrist is working with me on this.  Dad is so medication obsessed – feeling medications are a panacea for all that ails us humans.  I guess it is only natural with him being a pharmacist. 

The Talk…

Stacy and I had a talk last night about our argument over sleeping arrangements the previous night.  She went shopping for beds and realized it was going to be very expensive. She wanted to discuss the “situation” one more time before she put a new mattress and box springs on her credit card.

“I worry about Maggie and Caramel,” I told her. “I don’t think I can get them both in the car to drive over and it would devastate me if one of them would to get away from me. I can’t sleep without Maggie snuggled up next to me as well.”

Stacey sighed, not giving in.  She can be one doggedly determined woman.

“I will start to sleep over one night a week,” I finally told her with a sigh myself. “I will just leave the dogs at home.”

That was all it took to make her happy.  I know she wants to be with me and to sleep in her own bed as well. I can understand that. I will just have to take some Klonopin and an Ambien to be able to sleep over at her house. I am just so set in my ways after all those years of living alone. The things we do for our loved ones.

Just and Cookin’ and a Paintin’….

I got all my windows in the den painted yesterday afternoon.  It took hours in between bouts of cooking and checking the stove. All my windows and trim have this natural pine finish and it looks old and dated – like all that pine paneling that was so popular in the 70’s.  This new cream color I am painting my windows and trim makes the room look so bright and fresh.  I was very pleased with the results.  As busy as I am these days, it is going to take many weeks of off and on painting to finish, though.   

I also cooked tangy chicken, sour cream and mushroom chicken, and beef lo mein yesterday afternoon.  They are all in casserole dishes covered with aluminum foil in the freezer now.  Today, after mowing my lawns, I plan on cooking the spaghetti sauce and the lasagna – mom’s lasagna being a convoluted affair, but oh so delicious.  This will give Stacy and I meals for the ready for nights I just don’t feel like cooking.  I was afraid all that food was going to ruin if I didn’t get busy and do something about it.  I also hate to eat out, which Stacey loves.  But Stacey also loves my cooking so it is a good compromise between us.  She doesn’t cook much.  

Plans for the Parole Hearing…

I talked to Mrs. Florene last night with George’s parole hearing being only over a week away.  We were making plans about how to get down there and who was to drive.  It is about a five hour drive to Atmore, Alabama – just thirty minutes from the Gulf of Mexico.  I had already talked to my supervisor about taking the 9th of September off which will be a Thursday.

“We need to line up a job for George when he arrives home,” Mrs. Florene told me.

“If my business picks up in the next few weeks, then I would like for him to work for me,” I told her.

I told Mrs. Florene about putting business cards in every prescription bag at dad’s pharmacy. I am hoping this will make my business take off.  September is just another summer month this far South.  Our first frost usually doesn’t come until the first of November before all the grass goes dormant for the season.  And then the leaf season begins which I hope will keep George and I busy through November and December.  

“We will just tell the parole board that you are a businessman and he will be working for you!” Mrs. Florene said excitedly.

I kind of cringed some at the hyperbole she was using, but told her I hope it does help George get parole.

I will be so glad to have my friend home again.  It has been so long.  He’s been a faithful friend writing me almost everyday from prison.  George is my “Jay” friend.  Jay was a friend I had when I worked in Calera, Alabama and lived in a little apartment above a pet store.  Jay wouldn’t take no for an answer and would get me out of the house.  It was the perfect fit for a shy guy with social anxieties.  We went to a lot of hockey games over the years I lived in Calera.

Biting the Bullet…

I still feed Joyce’s cat Lucky every morning.  He is anxiously awaiting his can of tuna on the back deck before I drive over to get my diet Sprites for the day. He sleeps under my house on an old quilt i put down for him.  He refuses to be a housecat.  I noticed this morning he had been in a big fight and there was a large sore on the side of his head and it has gotten infected. His left side of his face is swollen. I am going today to buy a pet crate and am going to coax Lucky into the crate with a can of tuna tomorrow after work.  Off to the veterinarian we will go.  I am going to get him neutered and his shots administered while we are there as well.  I am hoping this will stop his tomcat ways and the territorial fighting as well.  He looks beaten and battered these days – worn like he is living a rough life.   It will probably take weeks to regain his trust after this ordeal, though. He is still much like a stray cat and fiercely independent.   I hate to do it, but it must be done.  

More Stability Today…

I bought a tiny little Sony radio with weather band at work this morning.  I had grown tired of music on my iPod as I gathered my carts – much preferring AM talk radio.  I also bought some batteries, put them in my new little radio and was overjoyed this morning when I found I could pick up KMOX out of St. Louis before dawn.  They replay last night’s Coast to Coast AM again at 5am and was also overjoyed to find Art Bell hosting the show overnight.  This made gathering the buggies much more pleasant this morning – the hours before dawn just flying by as I listened to my favorite radio show intently. 

I got an extremely good night’s sleep last night – the Ambien so helping to regulate my sleeping habits.  I am finding myself sleeping for eight or more hours before work and not needing my usual nap after I get off.  I do have to go to bed so early, though, finding myself asleep often at  7:00 or 7:30pm. The anxiety I experienced so profusely yesterday had also melted away overnight as well. Yesterday was a hard day and it was so very tempting to over imbibe in my Klonopin.  I am so afraid I will grow addicted to those pills and try to only take them in extreme emergencies as in one of my severe attacks.  Yesterday wasn’t that severe as I didn’t have that confused feeling I often get when the anxiety goes too overboard.

Say No to Featherbeds…

Stacey and I had a small argument last night as she was leaving to go home after gathering Sadie.

“Why don’t we ever stay at my house?” she asked jealously.

“Your bed is too soft. I can’t sleep on it,” I replied.

I often feel like I am falling into a black hole when I lie on her bed – my bed at home being very firm with an orthopedic mattress Charlie bought me years ago. 

“I am going after work to buy a new bed to be delivered,” Stacey told me with a harumpfff.  “I want you to be able to stay with me sometimes!”

I didn’t further the argument that I probably couldn’t sleep without Maggie or Caramel and it would be entirely too complicated to get them both in the car to drive over.  I left Stacey up to her machinations for the time being and will just play nice and hopefully things will settle down again.

Lots to Do Today…

I have a lot of plans for the afternoon today.  I hope to start painting my trim.  I plan on doing one room per week until I am finished. The hardest part is going to be painting all my windows around the panes. It will be a careful and tedious job.  I also plan to do a lot of cooking as well.  I have so much food that needs to be cooked from my and  mom’s visit to the grocery store last Monday.  We spent over a hundred dollars on all the ingredients for mom’s favorite recipes and I plan on cooking them all and then freezing them for next week or for when I need an easy meal for Stacey and I. 

Building My Business…

I ordered more business cards earlier in the week. They arrived yesterday.  I stopped by my father’s pharmacy after work with a plan in mind and a box of cards.

“Sandra?” I asked. Sandra has worked for my father for twenty years and we have developed a rapport over all this time. “Will you put one of my business cards in every bag of prescriptions as a customer picks them up?”

“Sure!” Sandra said with a warm smile. “I would be glad to do that.”

“You’re going to get overwhelmed!” dad exclaimed from behind the counter as he listened in intently as he was filling some prescriptions.

I just smiled and then did some shopping.  I got some paper towels and lots of snack foods for work to munch on.  I also got three 20oz diet Cokes as a treat going against my usual caffeine free mantra these days.  I needed a pick-me-up after work.

I haven’t received any more calls for my business lately and this has worried me.  I am hoping by getting those business cards out in the world that things will start to pick up again.  I do have three lawns to mow tomorrow on my day off and then I will be caught up until next Sunday when a new round of mowing my regular customer’s lawns starts.

Dad, the ever astute business man and busybody, walked out with me to my car as I was leaving.

“You’re going to need to get a business license,” he told me. “And what are you going to do about taxes?”

“I am keeping a spreadsheet of all my income and expenses,” I told him. “I will get a business license when I am mowing many lawns every week.”

“Do you think you can do all this and work too?” he asked worriedly.

“It can’t hurt to try,” I told him smiling.

Dad was still frowning when I got in my car, drove off and headed home.   It certainly can’t hurt to try I thought on the way home.  I thought of the tale dad would always tell us as children when he first started his business.

“I took out a big loan to buy the pharmacy,” dad would tell us. “The first two weeks after I opened the store, I didn’t have hardly any customers.  I thought I was going to go under.  I spent many sleepless nights those two weeks worried.”

If he can do it, then so can I!  It is just going to take some moxie and hard work – all things I have in abundance these days off all those medications. 

A Day in the Life Post…

I set my alarm clock for a change before bed at 7:30pm last night apprehensive about taking the Ambien. I normally just automatically wake up naturally around 3:30am to 4:00am without fail.  I was worried about feeling overly groggy in the morning – worried I wouldn’t wake up for work on time like I normally do.  I will say this for that drug: I got a full night’s sleep for the first time in days – feeling so rested and relaxed this morning. I didn’t have any noticeable side effects.  I was out of the bed with a running start with Maggie and Caramel choosing to continue to sleep in a little longer.  Later, Maggie watched earnestly from the bed as I put on my clothes and then my shoes after my shower – my shoes going on signaling to her that it was about time to drive over to get my six diet Sprites for the day as I never wear shoes in the house.  Maggie excitedly jumped out of the bed along with Caramel as I grabbed my car key and headed out the door.  Maggie’s morning job is to go out barking up a storm to clear the way for my departure and quick return.  We do this every morning without fail. This ritual is as important to Maggie as it is to mom and I.   I listened to a Smashing Pumpkins CD foregoing my usual NPR on the drive this morning feeling aggressive and adventurous.

On the drive over to mom and dad’s, I noticed how old my CR-V seemed now with me driving such a much newer and more pristine car – mom’s car being so noticeably quieter mechanically – everything running like clockwork.  It was tempting to mash the gas peddle and enjoy the much more powerful engine in mom’s car compared to my CR-V. I guess I am just a “boy racer” at heart.  

I arrived home with my “cokes” as we call all soft drinks in the South and turned on Coast to Coast AM to catch the tail end of tonight’s subject of interest as I packed my lunch for work, filled my water bottles with tap water and ate a honey roasted turkey sandwich and an oatmeal cream pie for breakfast – an unorthodox breakfast for me at best. I am usually an eggs, bacon, grits and toast kind of guy.  I drank my six diet Sprites compulsively after chilling them on ice in my freezer for about 15 minutes.  “Can I ever do anything in moderation?”  I thought.  It is either all or nothing – the bane of my existence. That’s why I don’t buy the drinks as I will drink them all in a day. My and mom’s routine helps me moderate my intake and moderate my wallet’s outtake as well. 

Work was as routine as it ever gets which was nice in a way if not boring.  I clocked in at 4:55am, put my cooler of bottled water nearby where the greeter usually stands and immediately got to work gathering all the carts in my organized fashion – carefully gathering all the strays into long strings to be pushed inside with my mechanical pusher.  Then going back out to gather all the carts in the caddies. It was overly cool for me this morning with me being so cold natured and I could have worn one of my fleece pullovers to be more comfortable.  It also took longer than usual for me to get caught up this early morning with eight rolling around before I could take a break and visit the electronics department to see Derrick.  Stacey was off of work today. Derrick told me like Carlos that the iPad was just a glorified iPhone with a bigger screen. That didn’t daunt my enthusiasm I felt for the contraption though. The rest of the day was slow with me doing busy work such as cleaning the parking lot to fill my time in between bouts of wandering about the store and obsessively checking the weather on my Blackberry. I was so hoping for storms today.  We had a thirty percent chance. I also spent some time with my supervisor talking about various work related subjects – us having become great friends these past few weeks.  She can still be kind of creepy as far as her advances towards me go, but I still love her to death anyway. 

I arrived home from work to find Sadie had been brought over during the day.  Stacey left me a note on the kitchen counter saying she was headed to the mall in Auburn to shop for clothes and wanted Sadie to be with Maggie and Caramel and to not be alone at home for all that time.  I was glad to see Sadie here. I took off all my clothes down to a t-shirt, socks and underwear and curled up in the bed with all three dogs joining me – all three dogs hoping we were going to take a nap.  I turned on the TV in my bedroom to CNN to find them talking about Tiger Wood’s recent divorce and quickly turned it back off feeling there were much more important things going on in the world than that kind of crap for CNN to be wasting air time on it. Itchy and Scratchy (Sadie and Maggie) immediately got to work doing their usual pre-nap routine of vigorously digging at their imaginary cooties – scratching and carrying on furiously, shaking the bed. I dozed off for a few moments until there was a knock on the door – the dogs all starting to bark like crazy.  I jumped up, quickly putting on my shorts and answered the door.  It was the Fed-Ex guy with my iPad.  I had been anticipating this moment all day. I was so excited. I even dreamt about it last night. 

I furiously unpacked my new gadget and began charging it next to the bed.  It immediately connected to my wireless network without problems.  I was browsing and reading blogs within moments – extremely happy and overjoyed.  It was the best money I had spent in a long time.  I caught up on my daily reads with Google Reader until I could stay awake no longer.    

I awoke about four hours later to the sound of a key opening my front door.  The air conditioner had gotten stuck on again and it was just freezing in my house.  All the dogs immediately jumped to alert status at a visitor at the door.  It was Stacey after her shopping trip. I got up and set the heat to 80 degrees. The thermostat read 71 degrees in the house. Brrrr!

“Are y’all going to sleep all day?” Stacey said with a beautiful smile and laugh as she walked into my bedroom with several shopping bags with us all back in the bed.  Sadie’s and Maggie’s tails were wagging wildly and Caramel would be wagging hers if she had one.  “I bought some more work clothes and shoes to keep at your house for when I stay over. It was a good excuse to go shopping!  I had a girl’s day out.”

Stacey stripped herself of her clothes as I watched on like a dirty old man – putting on one of my well worn and comfortable extra large cotton t-shirts after taking off her bra and climbing into the bed with us with her laptop.  It was a lazy and really nice day.  I got caught up on some much needed rest.  I grabbed my IPad and joined Stacey in browsing the Web. 

“What would you like for supper?” I sleepily asked Stacey around 5:30pm as I was reading the archives of one of my favorite blogs. “I could cook, but I am entirely too lazy at the moment to be bothered.”

Stacey browsed to Papa John’s website using my account and ordered us a pizza to be delivered.  I grabbed my wallet off the chest of drawers next to the bed and gave her twenty dollars telling her she was in charge at that point. I didn’t want to leave my iPad or the bed.

It took an hour for our pizza and breadsticks to be delivered.  Stacey got to complaining about the delay, but I didn’t mind.  I was completely enthralled with my new toy.  They finally arrived as Stacy pulled on her pants to answer the door and we ate pizza in bed as we continued to browse – the dogs getting their fair share as well. The dogs were effective organic vacuums of crumbs and pizza crusts keeping the bed clean.

I eventually got out of the bed to come to my computer in the den after Stacey had fallen asleep after some amorous affairs and wrote this blog post for the day.   A grand and utterly lazy day if I do say so myself.  These kind of days are made in heaven. I am about to take my Ambien and head to bed for hopefully another good night’s sleep. Work beckons in the wee hours of the morning. I want to get at least eight hours of sleep tonight and will set my alarm for 3:30am.        

Caramel Says, "Good Morning!"

Caramel and I have already been out for our potty break this morning. This time she followed Maggie through the dog door and I lavished her with praise. "Good girl!" I said in excitement as I rubbed her vigorously. I am hoping house training for her is going to as easy as it was for Maggie. Maggie was no trouble at all being as smart as she is. Maggie, though, got to barking up a storm this early morning at a possum in the pecan tree in Joyce's yard. "Maggie?!" I exclaimed, worried about the neighbors. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" Maggie and Caramel both came tearing back inside and I fed them both some Beefaroni as I locked the dog door so Maggie couldn't go back out and bark up a storm. I was careful to put the Beefaroni on separate foam plates so there wouldn't be any fights over food. I then cooked some grits and cheese toast for breakfast.

 

2pm Will Mark 3 Days...

2pm will mark three days without a cigarette. They say the nicotine gets out of your system after three days and I will be relieved to have some peace from that anxious feeling I have constantly -- the constant need to smoke. Stacey has just been amazed at my will power. I told her she is dating an "all or nothing" fellow as I will either smoke lots of cigarettes or smoke none at all. It does work in my favor at times -- especially when I decided to go for my independence from my family. I can just have this dogged determination at times and I wasn't about to have to work five hours a week or more just for my smoking habit. The best thing dad did was to make me start paying for my cigarettes again instead of him paying. He thought he was punishing me, but he did me a favor.

Back to Work...

It is back to work this morning after a good fruitful day off. I mowed five lawns yesterday leaving me only three to do and I will be caught up for a week or two unless I get more calls for work. I look forward to work this morning -- not dreading it at all. I love these early hours before seven when it is so cool and dark and I can gather my carts in peace without the parking lot being hectic and busy. Today will start my eighth week of work -- the end of the week marking two full months of working again after eight years of idleness. I feel so accomplished and my self esteem improves everyday -- that old nemesis social anxiety wilting away. The best thing I've done in many years was to start working again and to say to hell with Social Security -- somebody else can start having my benefits in May.

Epicurious...

Mom called me last night just as I was going to bed at 8:00pm.

"You won't believe our day," mom said. "We drove all the way to Thomasville and back and it stormed the whole time.  I am calling about your groceries tomorrow.  I am so tired, I am going to collapse in the bed after I get off the phone."

"Surprise me about groceries tomorrow, mom," I told her. "Get me all kinds of interesting foods to eat. Get me what you would want to eat yourself.  I get tired of the same things every week."

Mom chuckled warily not wanting to upset our usual routines.

"Give me more direction," she replied.

"Think of some of your favorite recipes and buy me the ingredients for them," I told her excitedly.

"Your putting a lot of work on me," she said, chuckling again.  "You know I can be anal about our routines."

"I know," I replied. "I just get tired of those Marie Callendar frozen meals all the time.  I want to be able to cook for Stacey and I this week every night."

"I will surprise you," mom said wanting to get off the phone now.  I had put too much on her for the busy day she had.  "How does my lasagna and spaghetti sound?  And mushroom chicken, tangy chicken and beef lo mein?"

"Sounds wonderful," I replied.

"Don't forget your diet Sprite tomorrow morning," mom then said. "Are you coming over at four to get them?"

"Certainly," I replied. "I appreciate you doing that."

"I will also bring you, Stacey and the dogs some double cheeseburgers, fries and apple pies tomorrow night as well."

"Sounds like a nice plan," I replied and we got off the phone.