The Easy Street to Obesity…

“Jermaine? If I wanted to get really fat what would I eat?”

Jermaine chuckled nervously.

“Are you serious?” Jermaine cautiously asked.

“I am dead serious,” I replied.

“Well, I would start at the Hostess aisle and stock up on Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs. Stuff like that.”

“That sounds good!” I replied excitably.

“Get you three or four boxes of Poptarts and some whole milk to wash it all down with,” he continued.

“You know what I have a hankering for?” I said looking deep in thought. “I want ice cream and lots of it.”

“That’ll do the trick,” Jermaine said grinning. “That will really put the weight on you.”

Jermaine cocked his head at me and asked me if I were really serious again.

“I am just dreaming,” I finally replied, patting him on the back and cackling. “If I was going to get fat, I would want to do it in style.”

“I thought you had gone off the deep end, Andrew,” Jermaine told me with a sigh of relief.

Old Fuss and Feathers would have a fit if showed up at checkout with a cart full of that kind of stuff.

In contrast to tonight’s proceedings, I only spent $57 dollars on my groceries. I just couldn’t eat any more of those bland frozen meals which are so expensive.

Contact… Sept 17 Tablet Scribblings…

I love this quote from the movie Contact based on a novel by the sorely missed Carl Sagan.

“You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.”

Comment Reply…

glittermom said...

There’s more important things then being that upset over a football game. Was your father into football when you were growing up too?

Andrew Replies…

Glittermom, him and my brother have always been fanatical about Auburn football. Somehow it seems I just didn’t get that gene. My grandfather was the same way.

News On George…

A man stopped by George’s house yesterday and started to clean it. He moved many things up to the road where the road vultures picked through it and took the choice pieces like George's favorite drinking chair. I walked over to inquire about George.

“He got evicted,” was what the man told me. “I know little else. I’m just hired to clean the house.”

So you know as much as I do now. Charlie remarkably said that’s what happened to George days ago.

“Joyce’s pious sister isn’t going to put up with all that drunken debauchery,” is what Charlie said.

Joyce was my friend and cohort in mental illness who originally owned the home until she passed away. Her sister inherited the house.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Old Fuss and Feathers!

“Y’all haven’t left yet?” I asked my father sounding disappointed. “It is almost 8 pm.”

“I’m just the co-pilot,” my father said. “It is up to Charlie when we leave and he has been moving furniture all day.”

I hung up the phone feeling dejected.  They finally arrived at 8:45 pm. Maggie and I both let out a loud sigh of relief. Maggie put on her usual dog and pony show. Pizza was at hand. They were pushing it to the wire as KFC closes at 9 am on Sundays here. Horsefly only eats KFC’s chicken fingers.

Charlie then went to cleaning my house. I started to protest, but my father said to leave him be.

“Charlie can get done in 30 minutes what would take you hours,” Old Fuss and Feathers told me.

There was a lot of banging and clanging coming from the kitchen and Charlie finally emerged with trash bags ready to go.

“Go look at it, Andrew,” Charlie said proudly.

The kitchen looked wonderful. He even weeded down my collection of empty mayonnaise jars in the fridge. I thanked Charlie profusely and patted him on the back.

“My sink has never shined more brightly,” I told him.

“Love y’all,” I said as I walked with them to the front door.

Maggie and I both watched them drive off and now it is time for our nightly rituals as we get ready for bed.

A Day With a Quercus…

I spent most of the day in the shade of a Quercus, or what is commonly called an oak tree. I was waiting for trains and staying out of the sun as I would burn to a crisp as fair skinned am I. I saw a few trains as I listened to the Auburn game on my trusty little Sony radio. Auburn got beat and I remember gulping loudly. There goes my father’s mood until we win again. He will be surly, grumpy, and likely to drink more wine in the upcoming week.

I arrived home and checked the weather radar as I normally do. I wasn’t expecting anything as we only had a 10% chance of storms. Well, a complex of storms was heading out of Atlanta and making its way South. It held together for the most part and we got a good rain out of those storms. I was very pleased and so was my lawn. It was a one in a million type of deal. 

Music Of Cathedrals and Forgotten Temples | 1-Hour Atmospheric Choir Mix

There is a Little Computering Going On At the Moment…

I was over at my father’s house tonight. Charlie was fixing supper and making him and dad bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches.

“I think there is something outside the front door for you,” dad blithely told me looking benign.

This big grin formed on my face and I rushed to the front of the house to open the door. There sat my ultra high definition monitor in all its glory.

“Gotta run!” I said walking through the kitchen with my very heavy box.

“Aren’t you going to even eat a sandwich?” Charlie asked me worriedly.

“It is going to be Lean Cuisine tonight folks,” I replied and Charlie and dad both laughed.

I told them both goodnight as they sat at the kitchen table and hurriedly drove home ever mindful of the police.

It didn’t take me but ten minutes to get the monitor out of the box and attached to my computer. It meets and exceeds my expectations. The picture is just gorgeous. Text has never been so crisp and clear on my computer. Colors just pop off the screen.

To the Manor Born…

There was a jovial mongoloid lady named Angie that lived across the street when I was a child. She had the sweetest disposition. She would tell me I was her real mother and not Martha, and it worried me deeply. She said she had me with the weatherman on channel 3. She would grab me to hug me with my face smothered in her very ample bosom. Dad thought this was the most hilarious thing he had ever heard at the time. Well, it antagonized me.

Dad evoked these memories when he started to talk about it this morning.

“Well, your real mother passed away yesterday,” he told me. “She was fifty three. I guess it is too late for a maternity test.”

I thought that was astonishing for a person with Down’s Syndrome to live so long.

Dad then asked me if I were going to my mother’s visitation and funeral.

“Martha was my mother,” I replied huffily – all those childhood memories came flooding back.

My father heartily laughed and laughed some more and almost got choked on the diet Coke he was drinking. 

Well, I’ll Be a Monkey’s Uncle… Sept. 12 Tablet Scribblings…

I can’t believe it, but my father ordered my ultra high definition monitor for my computer yesterday. I called the pharmacy asking for more Prilosec for my frequent heartburn as I had taken my last pill that morning. Dad said he would bring me some more last night.

“Do you have anything else you want to ask me?” he asked strangely.

I stood there with the phone to my ear stymied.

“Did you order my new screen?” I then asked hesitantly not wanting to antagonize my father.

“Yes we did!” he said. “Matt just printed me an invoice.”

You should have heard the accolades I gave my father. I was fawning all over him as he chuckled. I was one happy and joyous soul. Now, the final piece of the puzzle lies in me getting a video card that can play games at 4K resolutions and that will come this Christmas. I better start saving some money!

You Should’ve Seen Jermaine Grin…

This afternoon was spent tuning up Jermaine’s big V-8 engine. I just love working on old cars. Jermaine wanted to do it yesterday afternoon, but I was too lazy and tired after volunteering.

There was a marked difference in the before and after. You could set a glass of water on Jermaine’s air cleaner and it wouldn’t vibrate off after I tuned it up. I was really proud of myself at how smooth the engine was running.

The hardest part was gapping and installing the new spark plugs. I had eight old plugs to uninstall and eight more to gap and install. Once that was done then it was smooth sailing after that.

It started to thunder and that was my cue to head on home and watch the weather as Jermaine climbed in his car to go fill it up with gas. He called me later telling me how much more powerful his engine was as well.

“Go easy on that old V-8,” I told him as I grinned and chuckled.

Don’t Leave Me in the Dark!

Dad called me last night at 10:30 pm. I was just fixing to head to bed. I had already turned off my main computer and was sitting in my recliner in the den with my tablet computer looking at the weather radar.

“Help!” he said frantically. “The power went out and now my television is stuck at the opening logo and won’t go past it.”

“Don’t you ever sleep?” I asked with a chuckle. “I will be over in ten minutes.”

I pulled on some shorts and shoes and headed out the front door.

I unplugged the TV for ten minutes and then plugged it back in. I hit power on the remote and the TV fired to life, showed the Samsung logo along with its little jingle, and then started to play a television station. Georgia Public Television to be exact.

“I’ve been on the phone an hour with the WOW! lady trying different things and she couldn’t fix it and it takes you ten minutes and the problem is solved,” my father told me. “You’re a genius!”

“Now check YouTube,” my father then said anxiously.

I tuned it to Auburn football highlights and my father was happy as a clam in its shell.

“I have a date with my bed,” I said yawning loudly. “You’ve got to work in the morning so don’t you stay up too late.”

“I am going to try and get that screen ordered for you tomorrow,” dad told me.

Dad was gushing with praise for me as I walked out the back door and drove home. I can’t say I didn’t puff my chest up a little bit and feel proud I could help him.

TYMELAPSE - We Became Strangers

Inflation or Daylight Robbery?

My father just informed me this afternoon that the cost of my injection jumped from $300 to $700. Isn’t that just amazing and disturbing at the same time? I won’t dare tell Rebecca that as she will worry she will botch an injection and have to pay for it. Still though, that’s just astronomical in price.

I did get some awesome news in the mail today. It was from Social Security. They have decided not to review my case for another three years. Thank god and what a sigh of relief. My father let out a big sigh as well as I read the letter to him.

Sept. 10th Tablet Scribblings… Finished With My Day…

It is time to hit the road folks. I didn’t get to sleep until 2 am last night and I feel a serious nap coming on. I also almost forgot to take my medications and was wondering why I felt a little jittery and nervous come noon.

This morning started off FUBAR. Lopez Landscaping showed up to mow my lawn at 7 am. I was just leaving to head to the Humane Society. I had to scramble back inside and lock the dog door so Maggie wouldn’t escape when they mowed the back yard. I hope there aren’t any accidents when I arrive home. Maggie can hold it with the best of them, though.

“Y’all can’t come at seven,” I told the foreman. “You’re going to wake up all my neighbors. It’s inconvenient for me as well.”

I am very excited about the weather. We have a 70% chance of thunderstorms today. I hope to be awakened in a few hours by the clap of thunder. A line of storms is already forming to our South.

Our Paths Met Today…

This morning’s vignette…

Charlie brought breakfast at a reasonable time this morning. He was just chattering away. He actually asked me what the weather was going to be like which shocked me. Charlie doesn’t keep up with the weather.

“Smooth sailing,” I told him. “We have only a 20% chance of showers and thunderstorms.”

Charlie bid me goodbye and told me to enjoy my breakfast.

I decided to swing by my father’s house after breakfast and see what he was up to. He was still in his pajamas watching the Florida, Kentucky game. He was all excited because Kentucky hadn’t beaten Florida in thirty one years. Charlie arrived with his sausage biscuit and senior coffee and things got really interesting.

Charlie was talking a mile a minute while dad was trying to watch the football game.

“Damnit John, turn that TV off while you have guests,” Charlie spat at my father. “You are being rude!” 

Dad, like a reluctant, whimpering puppy, turned the television off.

Charlie had an extra sausage biscuit and thrust it into my hands. Charlie had already put yellow mustard on it like I like it.

It’ll Make You Boo-Hoo…

I’ve watched the ending to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society a dozen times this morning. Every time it brings a tear of joy to my eyes. No spoilers, though. You will have to watch for yourselves. It is such a wonderful romance.

Playing Second Fiddle to Football…

I drove over to my father’s house at 11 am to spend some time with him. We hardly said five words. He was watching all the pregame football shows on the television. I should say fixated upon as that would be a better phrase.

“See ya, Pops,” I said as I got up to leave.

“You going so soon? You just got here,” he replied.

I grabbed two Pepsi out of the fridge and went about my way.

The Auburn game starts at 7:30 pm tonight so he has lots of time this morning to watch all the pregame shows and catch a game or two.

There were a lot of years I spent drinking and neglecting my relationship with him so I can’t say too much in derision of my father. Tit for tat as the old saying goes. 

Jennifer…

I love Tracy in a deep friendship kind of way. We’re comrades. She’s 26 years old so it would be a May to December kind of relationship. Sorry, no romance is brewing. <3  (I know that is supposed to be a heart, but it looks like the mouse graphics on a Victor mouse trap to me.)

Sharyn…

I have no way of connecting with George. Like I said earlier, he just got in his car at dusk and never returned. I am hoping he is in one of those 90 day treatment programs. One month of intensive treatment, and two months in a halfway house. He had nothing tying him to his house except it was just a place to sleep. He barely had any furniture. HIs yard is starting to look like a jungle, though.

Internet Woes…

I am having a lot of trouble with my internet connection so if I go silent for a day or two then you know why. I have double checked every thing on my end and things are working fine so it must be WOW! having the hiccups. My network of computers are working just dandy. I sometimes have to hit publish a dozen times before my blog post will go onto the blog. It’s an exercise in frustration.

Dragging My Heels, Sept. 7 Tablet Scribblings…

I still have 15 kennels to clean and it is already almost 10 AM. Seems I will be working late today. It doesn’t help that I am goofing off with this tablet and need to be power blasting poop. The dogs are going to be hungry and thirsty by the time I finish and let them back inside. They are already barking up a storm – the canine cacophony. It’s contagious between them. One gets to barking and then they all start barking.

Tracy is looking over my shoulder as I peck this out. She’s dying to know the location of my blog. I love her, but she is a nosey busybody. As Hall and Oates would sing, “I can’t go for that! No can do!”

The Shade Tree Mechanic…

Jermaine called me today and said his engine is running really rough now. He can’t afford to take it to a real mechanic. They’d take Jermaine and his old car to the bank. I swung by his house and got $60 dollars from him. I then drove to AutoZone and ordered the parts we need to tune up his engine. I also got some carburetor cleaner as well.

“The parts will be here Monday,” I told him to his relief.

He about fell over himself thanking me. I spent some time spraying carburetor cleaner in his throttle body hoping that would lessen the rough idle. It helped some, but he desperately needs new spark plug wires. His were all cracked and frayed in sections. With new spark plugs, wires, and a cap and rotor, it should solve all his problems.  We can get that big old 402 cubic inch V-8 running smoothly again.

Mayfield's Birthday Cake Ice Cream…

That’s what I bought tonight at Kroger and it is delicious. Dad and I are just now getting around to buying groceries this week. I had a lot of food left from last week and we both kept putting it off despite my father giving me a lecture on how we need to stay on schedule. I was down to two Lean Cuisines this morning and told my father we better go tonight and he agreed. From the moment I left the house, to the moment I was putting up my groceries, only 30 minutes had elapsed. Now, that’s what I call some grocery shopping.

Do You Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

I don’t think I am ever going to get my computer monitor. By Christmas, I will have $950 to spend if I don’t buy anything until then. I’ve been thinking that I will just wait and buy the monitor and a kickass video card at Christmas time. Surely, Old Fuss and Feathers won’t forget to order it then – leave me without my Christmas.

Comment Reply…

glittermom said...

How’s your weather down there with these storms?

September 5, 2018 at 12:14 PM

glittermom said...

Hurricane Florence.

Andrew Replies…

Hurricane Florence is still way out in the mid-Atlantic. The last I looked tropical storm Gordon was centered over Jackson, MS. West Alabama is getting all the torrential rain, though. We are high and dry here missing out on the action.

SNAFU My Dear…

“I got so worried about you when you didn’t show up for your injection this morning,” Rebecca, my nurse, told me. “I called your dad at the pharmacy and he filled me in on what was going on.”

“I could’ve slept in this morning,” I said with a broad grin and a chuckle. “I was up at 7:30 giving dad a wakeup call and getting ready to leave at nine.”

“Let’s get you injected and on your way home,” Rebecca said as she led me into an examining room.

“How’s your diet going?” she then asked me

“Kind of status quo at the moment,” I replied. “At least I haven’t gained any weight.”

Rebecca has gained some weight as well. She has always struggled with her weight in the ten years we have been doing this. We are kindred spirits on those regards.

My shot didn’t burn today and I didn’t bleed so I guess that is a good thing.

“Bye y’all!” I said to the office staff who were all smiling and waving goodbye.

I grabbed my next appointment card on the way with a rendezvous with Old Fuss and Feathers and fussy he was when I asked if they had ordered my $400 computer monitor.

“We might get to it after work!” he snapped at me. 

Comment Replies…

glittermom said...

I have a Honda CR-V I don’t think I could get use to sitting down so low in reg. car. Ive been driving suvs for a long time..I like sitting up a little higher. Seems less dangerous. At least your new car will be more reliable. Did your father give your car to his computer genius at work? (That was meant to be sarcastic). Your the computer genius.

Andrew Replies…

CR-Vs are great cars. Dad’s CR-V has 275,000 miles on it and it just keeps going and going. I miss that about my CR-V as well – sitting up high and not having to climb out of it when I get somewhere. I wonder now how my mother ever got in that car and out again it is so low.

Yes, Matt got my car. I saw it this morning when I arrived at the pharmacy. He always gushes to me how nice that car is compared to his old 1991 Nissan Pathfinder. I wanted to keep my CR-V to save putting miles on my new car – mom’s car. My father does the same with his CR-V to keep from putting miles on his BMW X5. Dad said it would be too expensive for me to own two cars, though. A decision I deeply regret. It wouldn’t have been that expensive. 

Pipe Tobacco…

Thank you for caring. Still no news about George. You’ll be the first to know on here when I find out something.

Waiting… Waiting… Waiting…

Today was my injection, but the pharmacy forgot to order it. I drove down there just to be turned around and sent home. They’ve got it coming with today’s order so I am waiting for the truck to arrive. Dad is going to call me and I am going to scurry back down there and hope things aren’t FUBAR when I arrive at the doctor’s office. This all makes poor Andrew a nervous wreck. It’s like when Horsefly doesn’t get his sausage biscuit every morning or misses a night of bowling.

Just a Motoring…

Dad asked me last night what I thought of my new car after driving it a few months. This is what I told him…

• The engine and transmission shift like butter.
• The car is whisper quiet on the road at any speed.
• The car feels much more powerful than just 127 horsepower.
• Thank god finally for windshield wipers that are reliable and actually work.
• The CD player/stereo sounds wonderful.

“What don’t you like about it?” he then asked.

“The car is so low I feel as if I am sitting on the ground and it scrapes the ground pulling out of my driveway,” I replied. “I would have picked a different color as well. Beige is so blah! An emerald blue car with that light tan interior would have looked gorgeous.”

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society | Official Trailer [HD...

Look What Greeted Me at the Backdoor When I Arrived…

“I thought I would cook us a little something special for while we watch our movie,” my father told me.

Luckily, dad cooks like this all the time. There is something just inherently comforting and wholesome about warm, freshly made banana pudding.

The Vodka Compulsion…

I took that picture of the bottle of vodka in George’s yard yesterday, but I didn’t check to see if it had any vodka left. I walked back out a moment ago and picked it up and it has a few ounces left. I opened the cap and sniffed. Oh, it smelled so good. I love the smell of spirits. I stood there for a long time thinking. It had enough vodka for a good buzz. The better angels of my nature took over and I poured it out and threw the bottle in George’s trash – disaster diverted. I have a 11 AM date with my father to watch a movie and he would have certainly discerned it in my demeanor and smelled it on my breath. The proverbial shit would have hit the fan ruining our movie.

Pizza On Slow Time…

I could’ve killed Charlie and my father last night. They didn’t get here with supper until after 9 PM. I think that’s the latest they have ever been.

“We ran into an old friend at Little Caesar’s and had a long chat,” my father told me. “Remember Stacey?”

Stacey worked with my father in the pharmacy for years.

Dad was itching to get home and watch Auburn football highlights on YouTube so they didn’t stay long.

“Y’all give Maggie some lovin’ because she has been sitting in that window for two hours waiting on Y'all,” I told Charlie and my father.

Well, this thrilled my bored little dog’s soul. Maggie even got to “talking” to them. I laughed and we all laughed. I was thrilled to see Maggie so happy.

“I have a film on Netflix I want you to watch,” my father told me before leaving. “It is called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. We will watch it tomorrow night. You’re gonna love it!”

In 1946 a London-based writer begins exchanging letters with residents on the island of Guernsey, which was German-occupied during WWII. Feeling compelled to visit the island, she starts to get a picture of what it was like during the occupation.

My attention then turned to eating my supper. My two large pizzas were delicious again this week. I savored every bite. I have plenty left to eat throughout the day. I will be grazing pizza like cows graze grass.

Tom Day - Going Home

Seeing the End of the Storm…

Blue skies ahead…

Opportunity Gained?

Charlie arrived at 10:30 with Maggie's and my biscuits. Along with the biscuits were two hash-browns. He was running very late. I had given up on him and ate a pack of whole-wheat and cheddar crackers – my stomach was grumbling so.

“What’s going on with George?” Charlie asked me inquisitively.

“He drove off in the sunset a few weeks ago and never returned,” I replied.

“How old was he?” Charlie then asked.

“He was seventy five years old,” I replied.

“He’s got Medicare or Medicaid so he must be in a nursing home somewhere,” Charlie surmised.

I didn’t tell Charlie my most deep-seated fears – that George was in jail or dead. .

“I hope so,” I said to Charlie optimistically. “He almost couldn’t walk there at the end.”

“Your daddy insists on me getting him a senior coffee and I’ll be damned if I don’t about spill it every time,” Charlie said changing the subject.

I laughed and told Charlie he had a heart of gold as he balked.

Off Charlie went to get my father placated. Charlie’s phone was ringing and it was no doubt my father calling worriedly wondering what happened to him.    

Comment Reply…

glittermom said...

I’m so glad your able to keep volunteering. ..it’s a wonderful thing. You should feel proud.

Andrew Replies…

Hon, thank you for that. I always appreciate you taking the time to comment. Comments can be the lifeblood of a blog and make it vibrant and interesting.

Fate Eternam…

This turned out to be a jumbled mess of a blog post! Sorry! That’s what I get for trying to write a blog post with an ailing mind tonight.

Well, Auburn won. That ought to keep the grumpiness away for another week. Dad called me driving back from Atlanta and I feigned interest. I keep up with things just so I can walk the walk and talk the talk. The internet is great for keeping up with scores and highlights of the game.

“Can you believe we beat the number six team in the nation?” he asked.

“Yeah, it was a good win,” I replied.

Dad was all gushing with praise for his team and the young quarterback.

“I have high hopes for this season now,” he said. “That was our Atlas marker.”

They play Alabama State next week which is an unranked opponent.

Charlie Beckons…

Charlie also called me today to see how I have been doing. We haven’t seen much of each other these past few weeks.

“Remember, I am bringing you and Maggie breakfast in the morning,” he said. “So don’t eat anything and ruin your breakfast.”

I told him how much improved McDonald’s biscuits have been lately and he agreed.

“Hardee’s was stealing their biscuit trade as they used to have the best sausage biscuit,” Charlie replied. “McDonald’s had to do something about it.”

I could only dream of two Hardee’s steak biscuits every Sunday. Drools… Got to make do with what you’ve got, though.

Sundries…

I woke up at the undoglike (love my spell checker) hour of 6:30 AM this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I am supposed to take my medications at noon, but I took them early at 9 AM out of desperation. Soon, my eyelids were as heavy as lead and I laid down and slept for about four more hours.

Maggie just loves it when I get on the computer room bed. I am thinking of starting to sleep in there again for her benefit. She won’t sleep on the huge bed in my bedroom that Charlie gave me.

Eikona - Out of Reach

I’ve discovered a new genre of music called Chillout! Many of the songs follow the same formula, but some are just hauntingly beautiful – soothing to my soul. Search YouTube for Phelian, Azelah, Eikona, among others.