The man with a soft heart……

I don’t hate my ex-wife. I have had a feeling of indifference lately. I know I don’t want to live with her and join in on her lifestyle anymore. I do want her okay and to be seen about. I want our cat and dog to have food, a home, and water. I want her to always have a home as well.

Rachel came by tonight to bring something I had forgotten about. It was a weed-eater and a blower my father had given me years ago when I was still married. She knocked on the door and sat them outside.

“Can I come in for a moment?” She said.

I opened the door fully and let her in.

“I need a friend tonight. I need to talk.” She said.

“What’s wrong Rach?” I asked.

She started to cry and cry really hard. My heart melted.

“Rach, what is wrong? You can talk to me.” I said.

“I don’t have enough money to do anything. I am tired of living check to check. I worry I will lose the house.” She said.

“Terry and Rebecca will help you. You just have to ask them.” I said.

“Mamma and Daddy are having problems of their own.” She said.

After saying this she started to cry harder. It was pitiful sounding. Jesus, I didn’t know what to do. I do want her seen about. I grabbed her and pulled her close to me. She sat down in my lap in the old lazy boy in my apartment. I held her close to me.

“Shhhh, shhhhh, hush now, it’s going to be okay.” I said as I held her. “You are going to be alright.”

Her crying slowed down as she laid her head on my chest.

“Life’s a bitch, ain’t it?” I said. “It never goes as you plan.”

“Yeah.” She said as she sniffled and held me tighter.

“Do you need some money?” I asked.

“No, I am okay. Things are just tight. I worry about it all the time.” She replied.

“You know, I don’t hate you. I do care about you very much. I want you to be okay.” I said.

She started to cry again. My shirt was getting wet from the tears. Tears steamed down my cheeks as well.

“Why didn’t we work?” She asked as she looked at me.

I just held her tight and told her to hush. We ended up sitting there for a long time. It was one of those moments of quiet contemplation. I sat there and heard the beating of her heart. As she got up to leave, I put $20 dollars in her hand.

“Buy Otis and the chairman some toys.” I said.

She kissed me on the cheek and said good night.