And the Rain Gently Falls…

A storm parked itself over this small town last night and it rained for hours and hours into the wee hours of the morning. I laid back in the reclined seat of my car listening to this symphony of nature. At first, the harsh, metallic patter of the rain dropping heavily upon my hood and windshield aggravated me. Then I started to relax and noticed the more subtle sounds accompanying it. The pleasant sluice of infrequent car tires cutting through the water on the wet road nearby; the drip of rain from the leaves of the neatly manicured shrubs lining the perimeter of the parking lot; the occasional strong gusts of wind that would hauntingly whistle in the cracks of my slightly opened windows. This wind would, from time to time, blow a mist of water in those cracks giving the rain an all more tangible fell. Not only could I hear it, I could experience it tactually.

Morning arrived in what seemed like a blink of the eye. The rain had long since ceased and I was greeted by a grey and overcast sky. It took until midmorning for these clouds to burn off and for the sun to be revealed. The temperature then skyrocketed heated by the late summer sun. I found myself out at the park lost in my thoughts as I sat quietly reading a book in my fortress of solitude.

In two days, it will have been one whole week of exploring this new lifestyle. I find it suits me and my disability very well. I haven’t felt this free from anxiety in years and am pleasantly content with the slow pace and almost drifting nature of my days. I have pretty much removed myself from the conventions of modern society and find myself beginning to form my own philosophy on what I believe is a meaningful life. Being removed from the thoughts and opinions of others is allowing me to formulate my own beliefs, desires and opinions. It is so intellectually stimulating and satisfying. For once, I had a week in my life in where I felt the value of my person was not measured by the opinions and regards of others or how they expected me to life my life.

I finally gave up on daytime talk radio yesterday which had grown part of my routine during the week. At first, it held a morbid fascination, but the same tiresome rants, proselytizing, and fear-mongering grew old after awhile. I found myself longing to hear and read about more moderate stances on politics and not the constant tactics to divide people along political and party lines. There is an extreme juxtaposition of what is aired during the day to what is aired at night. The so called conservatives have a strangle hold on radio during the day and they all spout the same vitriol ad nauseam. It just reaffirms my belief that as long as the ruling elite can continue to keep people divided politically, socially, and religiously that people will never be able to work together for a common cause of bettering this world for all. They are all too busy squabbling over the scraps thrown from the table of our ruling elite.