A Two For…

I hadn’t seen Rosa or Dan in days. Today was a two for. I saw her plus Dumpster Diving Dan.

“The weather’s gonna get rough tonight,” Dan told me as I stopped to talk to him behind the shopping center.

“The National Weather Service has issued a special weather statement,” I replied with a worried look upon my face. “Did you hear them test the tornado warning sirens at noon?”

“Sure did,” Dan said as he rubbed the stark white stubble on his bony chin. “Always scares the shit out of me. Reminds me of Vietnam. Makes me think Gooks are in the wire.”

“Hmmm…” I said. “I didn’t think of that affecting you like that.”

“Sure does. Sends chills up my spine.”

I and Dan walked over to his truck. Dan’s little dog, Scrap, was fiercely wagging his tail with his little head hanging out of the window. Dan rubbed his head as we walked around to the back to look in the bed of the pickup. He picked up a wax coated cardboard box and showed me the contents.

“Perfectly good bunches of bananas,” He told me with a grin.

They looked terrible to me and were way too brown.

“Those will make a fine banana pudding tonight if my house doesn’t get blown away.”

Dan always loves to show me what he finds. I did notice today that Dan's truck had been in an accident. There was a huge dent in the rear quarter panel. I didn’t ask feeling it would have been a sore subject to talk about. I left Dan as he was getting in his Toyota to drive across the river to check the dumpster at the convenience store affectionately known between us as “Rectum.”

I then walked on down past the tax preparation office and the hair salon and rounded the corner. Rosa was sitting in her favorite spot.

“Hey gorgeous,” She said as I sat down next to her. “You are looking mighty fine today.”

“You don’t want anything to do with me, remember?” I said. “I am crazy.”

Rosa laughed as she told me she hadn’t seen George in over a week. George had gone around during a drunken spree telling all the gang that I was crazy and schizophrenic. At first, it had made me mad as hell, but I can laugh about it now. I am more worried about where George has been these days. When he disappears for any length of time it usually means he’s in jail for driving under the influence.

“Well, I am going to go get me a chocolate milk and some cheese on wheat crackers,” I told Rosa as I got up to continue on to the grocery store after we had finished our cigars. She slapped me on the butt and grinned devilishly.

“I will see ya handsome,” She said looking at my posterior without making eye contact.

I shuddered as I walked away. I really like Rosa as a friend, but she has a daughter my age and isn’t exactly what you would call a fine specimen of a woman. I like older women, but not women my mother’s age. I finished my shopping and walked on home noticing the wind had picked up considerably and whipped my Auburn t-shirt with a fury.

“Keep an eye to the skies,” I told myself mimicking my late grandmother as I walked on inside and shut the door against a brisk wind.