Wrapping up the Day

One of my favorite times after an A.A. meeting is my ritual of standing on the back porch smoking as I talk to my A.A. friends. I have grown to trust and admire many of the people I attend with. Wanda, my favorite A.A. soul, was asking me questions tonight about my days.

"What do you do with yourself all day not working?" she asked. "I would grow crazy trying to fill the time."

"I never get bored," I replied. "I write, read voraciously, spend time with my friends, and walk a lot."

"Well, I worried about you getting bored. Boredom is terrible for trying not to drink. Glad to hear you stay busy."

"Oh, I stay busy," I replied as I smiled warmly.

There was a throng of people out on the porch tonight. Wednesday nights has grown to be one of the busiest nights for our A.A. meetings. Everyone seems to love these Big Book studies. Tonight, we studied the stories of the worst case scenario drunks and how they got sober. I could relate wholeheartedly. Most of them had to hit rock bottom to start climbing back up. Divorce, homelessness, and my experience being an un-medicated schizophrenic was my "rock bottom."

I know some of you may be wondering what happened to George and our nightly rides. Amazingly, George has not been drinking lately. George drank so much that he developed some pretty severe stomach and intestinal problems. He went to the doctor about a year ago and the doctor also told him he was on the verge of getting cirrhosis of the liver. Whatever works as they say and I am just glad George is taking a break for the time being although I miss that one hundred dollars a week Mrs. Jones was paying me to drive George around as he drank. I would gladly pay a hundred dollars a week to see George sober so can do without the money.

I know Abbagirl will be glad to hear I saw Dumpster Diving Dan today. I didn't get a chance to talk to him, but he was digging in the dumpsters behind the shopping center earlier. He looked better than he has in awhile. Dan can look kind of gaunt many days like he is not eating enough. Dan still comes by and gets his weekly supply of Chef Boyardee. He asked me recently to tell my mother to get the canned lasagna having liked it better than the usual beeferoni and spaghetti and meatballs mom brings me. I was glad to tell mom to change from our usual and to bring a bag of that lasagna. Dan was pleased to get it.

"It has real chunks of tomatoes," I can remember Dan saying excitedly the other week.

I think Crusty asked today in a comment what experience I had with my neighbor last night. Keep in mind I was already having auditory hallucinations and delusions so it may not have happened, but my neighbor showed up on my back door complaining about Maggie barking. I had never seen him before and he was a strikingly handsome young man. The whole experience was very surreal so I am still debating on whether it was a hallucination or real. Maggie doesn't bark that often unless someone comes into the yard so I am thinking I imagined it.

I believe Cheryl had asked about my getting my tooth pulled. About a month ago, I cracked a molar in half eating a bag of nuts. It was excruciatingly painful at the time and my mother called my favorite dentist and got me some pain medications and an appointment to get it pulled. Luckily, the pain subsided, but due to the popularity of my dentist, I had to wait a whole month to get it pulled. I have a phobia about the dentist second only to my phobia about getting my hair cut so I will only go to this dentist. He is a kind soul who knows of my mental illness and phobia and helps me through these experiences. It took a family affair to get me to go though. My father come over that morning to give me a pep talk and later went with me to the appointment. It was terribly painful getting that tooth pulled and I was glad to get it over with. I had been dreading it for weeks. Now I have a gaping hole where a molar used to be and it will take some getting used to.

Well, I am sure rambling tonight and need to try and sleep. I hope you all have a good day tomorrow and thanks for the comments of support today. I appreciate it very much.

Sincerely,

Andrew