I had written Kevin "The Homeless Guy" Barbieux out of the goodness of my heart and explained to him in lengthy detail how to make a steady income with advertisements on your Blogger blog. I gave up some guarded secrets doing so. He mainly ignored me and actually changed his blog to Wordpress shortly for which it wouldn't work. I gave up. I realized he wasn't going to help himself and would probably make excuses about not being able to do it as a homeless man even though he manages to stay online all day somehow. That old saying you can lead a mule to water, but you can't make him drink comes to mind. I tried. I have come to the conclusion that he will always be homeless. It is a chosen lifestyle for him. He is homeless because he is an asshole and not because of lack of money – irascible old codger.
Last night found me at a much needed A.A. meeting. I hadn't gone much all week and it felt good to be in those hallowed halls of sobriety. I did take the step of telling my sometimes sponsor, Tim, that I thought I needed to find a less "Christian" sponsor and someone not twice my age. He took it well, actually wishing me the best.
"Let's still go get coffee sometimes at the Waffle House," he said as he shook my hand and smiled.
I sighed with relief as he walked off. Such ordeals always test the limits of my social anxieties. I abhor confrontation and Tim is outspoken. I have actually felt better about my sobriety not having a sponsor than having one. Strange, huh?
9 comments:
Rigid structure doesn't work for everyone. As a matter of fact AA doesn't work for everyone, but if it works for some that is all that matters. Perhaps a different sponsor will be better for you. Maybe a woman as you seem to get along better in their circles.
It was nice of you to try and help Kevin, but some people become homeless because they don't want to help themselves. For them it's just easier to make excuses than to actually do something about it. My sister almost became homeless this summer for the same reason. Looking for an easy way out and sometimes their isn't one. I beleive she too struggles with prescription addiction which is why I believe she got a nursing degree. It was easier to learn how to play the game that way and she could earn good money at the same time. In the end it hasn't worked because she doesn't like to work. Unfortunatley she has a teenage some to support.
You're a good guy Andrew, don't forget that.
I'm glad Tim took it so well Andrew.
Not strange at all if he's someone that makes you uncomfortable Andrew. When working the Steps, it's so important to have a sponsor you can relate to. Yes, such social interactions are difficult, and you handled it beautifully... Good Job!!
Well, if you still have that detailed information in your sent box and would like to forward it to me, I'll work my butt off to achieve a second income for my family. I have six children and staying home is much more affordable for us if you consider the daycare. My husband works his butt off and I would love to really help out. I am a member of PayPerPost, but I just can't get my page rank to increase. I'm willing to take all advice especially from someone who is living proof that it works. The only changes made to my blog would be those that you suggest. If you feel so inclined, I would greatly appreciate it. rene71@gmail.com <---- see? I even left my email out there in public. ;-) Also, being able to write/work from home is good for me as I have social anxiety/phobias as well. I get laughed at for not answering phones. :-( But I'm willing to work hard.
There used to be a homeless guy in Ann Arbor Mi who had a wireless computer back when those were first available and rare to see. People wondered how he could have that and still not have a home.
Apparently, he lived part time in a storage unit because he passed away in it (rumor was suicide.)
It was sad not to see him sitting out on the college lawn typing away.
Homelessness is a complicated issue that seems beyond understanding...
Recently, I read an interesting book about homelessness in England:
Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters (Author)
It is part biography, part social commentary.
I am glad that you have moved on from a sponsor that seemed to be more of a drag on your recovery than a help.
As ever, wise, honest and very readable. Thank you for keep sharing with us all.
I"m impressed with you and with Tim. You for the courage and him for responding in just the right way. I wonder how AA goes about putting together their matches. I wonder if Tim could find you someone new, when and if you were ready.
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