Impending Doom...

Glum post, I know.  Sorry.  But I don't feel well.  It all started a few days ago about the time Dad would come with my medications.  Now I feel this lump or pain in my stomach like another attack is going to happen any moment.  I woke up this way.  I had a terrible attack last night.  So painful and uncomfortable.  It lasted for hours.  I kept feeling the need to urinate, but couldn't!  I actually outlast these attacks after three or more hours and get to feeling better.  I assume my adrenaline runs out and the attack is over.

When I first started to go to AA, I worried there wouldn't be enough meetings to go to everyday.  I had grand plans of ninety meetings in ninety days.  So far the meetings have materialized.  The Internet is great for finding them.  I am making about one meeting a day.  And they have gone so far in helping my moods and my outlook on life.  I feel like I am growing and maturing as a sober alcoholic in AA.  I sat in an early morning meeting this morning and felt so at home.  I had to leave early because my panic set in.  At least I went and tried. 

Sorry I don't feel like writing much lately.  My posts have been short and to the point.  I will spend the rest of the day with my finger's crossed hoping another attack won't start.  I will smoke copious amounts of cigarettes and drink diet 7UP -- my only comforts.  Well, I am off to fend off that roulette that is these attacks for the day.  Thanks for reading and thanks for all the comments.   You are so appreciated.