“What’s wrong?” Wendy asked me over the phone. “I was so looking forward to seeing you. I haven’t seen you since high school.”
“I have severe social anxiety and things such as this are extremely hard for me to do,” I replied honestly. “I do better some days, but today is just not one of those days.”
I then called my father for his advice.
“You made me feel better,” my father said on the phone a moment ago. “You can’t do all that and keep your mental health. I’ve been so worried about you trying too hard to find a social life.”
“And don’t you feel badly about it either,” my father then told me. “You have to do what you have to do to keep on an even keel.”
I feel terrible about it all anyway, but the most oppressive and uncomfortable butterflies I’ve been experiencing in years have gone away. I feel at peace now and it is a wonderful feeling.
Photo credit: http://fcaaonline.com/events/10th-annual-poker-run/
2 comments:
What does your therapist suggest regarding dating and taking part in social activities? With all respect to your father, I don't feel he has your best interests at heart. I think he has his interests at heart. He wants you on that "even keel" so he doesnt have to deal with your cycling.
Your doctor and or therapist is the one to consult.
I thrive on anticipation. It's all on levels. Put your hand at eye level and move it horizontally. That is level one. Every thing looks good on level one. Level One: I'm going to lunch with an old friend!! NOW come the other levels. I have to get cleaned up, get dressed (up), leave my house, go get her, go to restaurant, make happy talk, eat in front of someone, pay, drive more. To kiss or not to kiss. The first time Bill kissed me, I ducked. He got the top of my head!
Anyway, I'm good on level one. I can plan. I can pick out outfits. I can even put them on. But going out the door? Level 2.....
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