Momma? That Man is Bumfuzzled...

I got completely bumfuzzled tonight.  The grocery store was so very busy and it started to spin around me. I felt confused. People were everywhere tonight. They're usually almost empty when we go so late. Well, my skin started to crawl and I started to have an anxiety attack.

We managed to get me some groceries, but I only spent $45 dollars tonight. Hey, I've got 4 gallons of sweet milk and that made me happy. I also have enough sandwich fixins' to have sandwiches for a few days plus the food I raided from my parent's pantry. I did also manage to get two very large bags of Kroger frosted flakes.

My medications will kick in about 10:00 pm and I should be feeling much better by then. Boy, it's been a long time since that has happened to me and I forgot how scary they are. It is like your mind is spiralling out of control.

Dad buys his and mom's groceries every Wednesday night and he is going to get me some premium apple pie filling/topping and some vanilla ice cream. Those items would have put me closer to $60 or more dollars.

image credit:  http://www.tophealthclub.com/top-10-tips-on-how-to-overcome-anxiety-panic-attacks-and-take-back-control-of-your-life/

Ah, Grocery Day. Let's Ruminate!

Dad had to go into work at 4:30 pm until closing at 7:00 pm. Hopefully, that will make him more prompt when arriving at my house to go grocery shopping tonight. We can't go too early as he gets "caught" meaning he will run into people he knows and a long conversation ensues. Dad knows just about everybody in the Valley. I tell him all of the time he would make one hell of a politician.

I think the chocolate pudding is out as I have grown quite tired of it. I get on food kicks like that and they kind of have to play themselves out. I think we will go back to strawberry Pop-Tarts for awhile as my cheap sweet fix for the week,

I just ate a can of premium apple pie filling mom had in her pantry and it was delicious. I will be getting two or three cans of that tonight. Could this be my new food obsession? I will be getting some vanilla bean ice cream to eat it with as well. I am almost giddy with anticipation.

Andrew? Don't forget your two Mountain Dews tonight! It's my favorite thing in the world to drink those two drinks while my medications soak in and I write my grocery day debriefing and I still forget them.

I will fill you all in on a little sweet treat I discovered last week. Pour some of that International Delight hazelnut coffee creamer in your glass of whole milk and it is a delicious sweet drink -- like the milk after you eat your frosted flakes.

image credit goes to Wal-Mart

The HAUL...

I love the dollar store "HAUL" videos floating around on the internet. People show off what bargains they were able to buy at their local dollar store or DollarTree. My friend Berryvox did some awhile back and I just really enjoyed viewing them.

It is mostly a female phenomenon, but I do enjoy the videos by guys because they come back with neat stuff like tire irons, tire shine, and Fix-a-flat all at bargain prices.

Mom just called me and told me my diet Cokes were on the back porch.

"Leave the back door open," I told my mother.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I fixing to raid your pantry! That's why!" I told her laughing.

Mom laughed back nervously. I kind of stirred up her OCD.

Here was today's HAUL! My parent's pantry is a smorgasbord of food and drinks.

• 6 Diet Cokes
• 2 Diet Sunkist
• 2 Minute Maid Lemonades
• 3 Slices of Little Ceasar's pizza
• 4 "microwave bowls" of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni 
• 2 cans of Armour potted meat
• 4 cans of Armour Vienna sausages
• 1 box of Saltine Crackers
• 1 can of Mott's premium apple pie filling.

Mom had to write down all I took so she could get my father to replenish them when he goes to the grocery store this Wednesday night. I told you I was stirring up her OCD.

Welcome to a Vienna Sausage Tower Not to be Confused With the Tower of Babel...

Two Men on a Mission...

Wendy's is redesigning 750,000 of their restaurants and they look like the picture above. They've already redesigned ours and it was closed for about a week for renovations.

**********

Charlie feels he must always be doing something and it usually involves cleaning.  The Dynamic Duo arrived after 8:30 pm and I was so glad to see them. I thought they would never get here. My life goes from 0 to 100 mph when they arrive.

"Maggie? Charlie and Papa are here!!!" I hollered from where I sat at my computer as I looked out the den window.

Maggie was asleep on the bed in my bedroom and immediately came flying into the den to greet the Dynamic Duo. I love to surprise her like that. Maggie had been sound asleep and it took her a moment to realize what was going on. She had to look out the window to confirm their visit and then she started to bark jubilantly.

Charlie cleaned my kitchen to a spotless state while my father and I performed my medication ritual and Maggie's ritual.

"I have never seen Andrew's stainless steel sink shine so much," dad told Charlie as we headed to the laundry room for Maggie's ritual.

Even the dauntless Charlie needs some encouragement sometimes.

image credit:  https://www.restaurants.com/blog/wendys-new-logo-and-store-design/

Those Are Some Nice Train Tracks You've Got There...

I was just searching for railroad photos and this pops up. I have always liked Goth girls. 

Okay, Here's the Mid-afternoon Scuttlebutt...

I have just arrived home from my parent's house. Sunday night fried chicken is not progressing at a very fast pace disappointingly. Charlie is mopping my parent's hardwood floors, mom was in the bed, and my father was having an animated conversation over the phone with my brother-in-law. The situation is not looking very expedient. A good thing was that I got my Cokes and a big Tupperware container of hash. Mom is going to call me when they leave to get our food.

********

Okay, mom just called and said they left at 7:15 pm to get our food. I was so hungry being the end of the week that Maggie and I both had big bowls of corned beef hash. I will save my double w/cheese for later this evening.

"Dad hurts my feelings when I call him," I told my mother. "He never acts like he is glad to hear from me."

"He treats me the same way," my mother replied. "I try not to call him unless I have to! He was just talking to your brother-in-law like he was conversing with Jesus."

"I guess we are just the burdensome schizophrenics of the family," I said. "He thinks we always need something when we call him."

Mom and I were both having a real pity party tonight.

3...2...1...Countdown to Bedtime

I've had a good day mental illness wise, but it is time to wrap this day up and put it in the books. Here's to waking up with even more mental clarity this afternoon.

I am toying with the idea of staying up to until Charlie brings my Micky D's breakfast. He might not be here until 10:00 am, though. I never know.

My biggest deterrent to sleeping is the really nice and fast computer in my bedroom. It is so convenient to sit down, have a look on the internet, and then realize an hour has passed. I am also extremely pleased I figured out my virus problem. That had me sweating bullets for awhile there and it was extremely aggravating to say the least as well.

Maggie's in the bed behind me and there are all kinds of disgusting noises being emitted. Snorting, slurping, sniffling, sneezing, gurgling. I guess she is taking care of business before going to bed as well....there she goes. Maggie's going out for her pre-bed potty. I'm getting in the bed and turning off the lamp as soon as she gets back inside.

Live Long and Prosper...

Probably One of the Most Endearing Relationships in Modern Cinematic History...

image credit:  http://thewildrobot.com/sloth-love-chunk-the-goonies-fridge-magnet-funny-movie-poster-1980s-80s-atam-sd2477

Well, the Zombies Came to Visit...

My father didn't arrive till almost ten tonight. About 9:45, I called mom to check on him. It was the latest he's been in a long time. I figured he had fallen asleep in his recliner so was not very alarmed.

"I was asleep on the couch and he is not home," my mother sleepily told me not being much help.

Moments later, he came pulling up in front of my house.

"You've got to help me get all this in the house," he hollered from the street as Maggie and I stood in the door to greet him. Maggie was barking a mile a minute.

I had quite the care package that more than made up for the late arrival. Dad brought me sodas, Swisher Sweet cigars, medications, corned beef hash, and cornbread that was still warm.

He toodled on out to the car and headed home -- no doubt to soon go hit the hay. Dad was in zombieville tonight and not quite himself.

But I didn't inhale!

image credit: http://www.browneyedbaker.com/corned-beef-hash/
image credit #2: https://www.thebackyshop.co.uk/products/swisher-sweets-cigarillos-foil-wrapped-cigars

Patience Young Grasshopper...

My father cooked corned beef hash tonight. Our British cousins eat it with fried eggs. Dad and mom are probably just sitting down to eat right now. I would be welcomed over to eat and take my medications, but I want dad to stop by here for Maggie's sake. His arrival is the highlight of her day. I have to be patient, though. We have two treats tonight: a good meal and mind calming medications.

I slept most of the afternoon after Maggie got me up at the crack of dawn this morning for breakfast. It was dark when I woke and very disorienting. Maggie was making some loud slurping and snorting noises as she licked her naughty bits.

I've also been doing some computer software spelunking. I keep getting a virus on both my bedroom and den computers and I finally found the culprit a few minutes ago. A virus was slipping in via my Samsung Magician software -- software that optimizes the speed of my solid state drive. It is so frustrating because now I have to reset Windows 10 and install all my hardware drivers and software again.

30 minutes later: Yeap, it was the Samsung Magician software that was borking my system. I couldn't even restart or go back to an earlier restore point. I am happy to have that resolved.  Now, to get on some of my favorite computer message boards and spread the news.

A Big Hyacinth Sigh!

Maggie, my little furry darlin', decided that 7 am was a viable time to wake up when we didn't go to bed until 4 am. She was showing what puppy is left in her after all these years -- playfully barking and cajoling me into the kitchen to fix breakfast. We had something simple and that was buttery grits and buttery toast. A big bowl of warm, creamy, and buttery grits can best be described as "rib-sticking".

I know I write a lot about food, but wouldn't you rather I proselytize about grits instead of writing nothing at all? I don't know the definition of Foodie, but I am probably one of them.

It's Absolutely Electric, Dude!

Well, my little brother went to Atlanta and bought him a Tesla electric car for his commute to Alex City and back every day. They now have a fast charge station in Auburn and my brother also had a station installed in his garage.  My father likes frou frou stuff like this and was just pleased as a peach. Dad had me pull up their website last night.  I will have to admit that the car does look impressive on paper and in person. I think the electric motor was rated at over 400 horsepower. My Honda CR-V only manages a paltry 190 horsepower and that's on a good day.

Pre-medication Cocktails!

Dad pulled up in front of my house and loudly blew his horn a moment ago. It took me a second to realize he wanted me to come out to the car at the curb.

"Let's go get one of those big ass drinks at Circle K, I am thirsty!" my father told me. "And then we will take your medications."

"Now you are talking my language," I said as I excitedly jumped into the passenger side of his Honda.

"You taught me this," dad told me. "You can get two big drinks for $1.52. You can't beat that deal anywhere."

I was excited to get my Sobe Citrus (crack) drink.  It certainly would make my evening much more pleasant.

We got accosted by the same panhandler from a few weeks ago. He is so aggressive that it is almost unnerving. Last time, he got me flustered and I left my gas cap on the hood of my car and drove off. The clerk let him have a jumbo frankfurter hot dog and then he headed up towards the Post Office I assume to home.

I do love it when we are spontaneous like this. It really breaks up the monotony of my life. We drove home and performed my and Maggie's rituals and dad headed home.

image credit: http://croixoil.com/circle-k/

Sometimes You Just Bowl a Gutter Ball as Horsefly Would Say...

I was down at the tracks all afternoon and didn't see but one train. It was a mixed freight headed to La Grange and then on to Atlanta. I was very, very disappointed. I stuck a bunch of Model Railroader magazines in my backpack to read and they came in handy. Someday my computer room will be transformed into my train room.

My snack was some Saltine crackers and two tins of potted meat. Have you ever tried potted meat? It can best be described as "loud" if food made a sound.

I sat on the same bench behind the bank that Ferret slept on when he was homeless. He soon moved to a tent in the woods on the other side of the tracks as that bench is cold as hell as I found out today. I had to find me a piece of cardboard to sit on to insulate me from the cement bench.

Does anyone remember the scene in the movie Slingblade where Frank and Carl are out in the garage where Carl slept? Carl was eating some potted meat and crackers.

"I heard that there's pig dicks in potted meat," Frank said.

"You ought not say that. You just a boy."

Carl then pointed his knife in the can and said, "Looky there! I think I see one right there!"

Frank got to giggling.

image credit: http://davescupboard.blogspot.com/2012/06/potted-meat-is-nastier-than-you-can.html

Guess Who Woke Me Up Today?

Breakfast a few months ago.

Maggie jumped up on the bed and lay down beside me and started making little mewling noises. She was lonely is all could guess and wanted me to get busy and about the house. There was also our breakfast to contend with.

I was standing in the kitchen looking in the refrigerator deciding on what to cook with Maggie standing beside me wildly wagging her tail. She knows the game. I wanted biscuits and bacon I decided and that what we had for a very late breakfast. I put a little butter and some Smucker's strawberry preserves on a hot biscuit and I was in heaven. They are tastes made for each other.

So what does Maggie do after I get out of bed, take a shower, dress, and then cook breakfast? I did it all for her, and she goes and gets on the back of the couch and goes to sleep. You just can't help but smile and be consternated at the same time.

Missing Helen...

Normally, we would be having a gobsmacking big soul food meal for supper with it being Friday. My father is still ruminating on getting Helen's car repaired.

I was just over at my parent's getting my sodas for the day. Mom handed me a sack of four Chef Boyardee Beefaroni microwave bowls worried that I was starving to death. I smiled and gladly carried them home.

"Your daddy's fixing a big breakfast for supper," my mother told me. "So leave room for something good to eat tonight."

I told my mother to tell my father to cook some of that unbeatable Clark Bros. sausage he got last week on a trip to Roanoke.

Maggie Certainly Loved George...

A great deal of amusement for me, when George visited, was that Maggie absolutely adored him. George would sit down in my recliner, crack open a cold Natural Light Ice, and then Maggie would jump up in his lap causing him to spill his precious beer. I've never seen Maggie jump up in someone's lap like that.

"You need to teach this goddamn dog how to mind," George would tell me half aggravated and also half enjoying Maggie's love for him.

Part Particular...

"You left the dog food bag open again," my father said admonishing me as we performed Maggie's feeding ritual.

This is a big pet peeve of my father's.

"She's not going to eat it if is gets stale. Dogs are funny about things like that. That's expensive dog food."

I mumbled something about getting her some more food this afternoon and forgetting to close the bag.

We had just previously performed my own ritual -- the medication ritual. The most enjoyable hour of my life is when I am waiting on those medications to take effect. I get giddy as I sit here listening to music in anticipation. I also take great satisfaction out of writing a blog post during this period. My latest beau music wise is the band Zero 7. I can listen to their numerous CDs over and over.

As dad was leaving, he ironically and nicely told me to lay off iTunes -- that I was buying too much music. I can't buy single songs. I always have to download the whole album. I will admit I have been overzealous. I downloaded Sia's discography today.

Let the Good Times Roll...

It's a good feeling when you expect a nasty comment, and it turns out to be really funny and nice. I guess I've been blogging so long that I am jaded.

The State of Affairs this Evening...

Mom is eating Mexican with Mrs. Sandra and my father is finishing up his shift at the pharmacy which just closed. I was in the bed by 10:00 am this morning and slept until 5:30 this afternoon. It was a deep sleep where you wake up with a slight headache you were sleeping so hard.

I broke my sun tea jug. I've had it for years. I put it in the freezer full of water this morning and it froze solid and broke. I went to bed and forgot it. I drink a lot of water -- probably a gallon a day. I brainstormed and filled up one of my empty gallon milk jugs and put it in the freezer. I now have ice cold water a few hours later. I cleaned and filled another milk jug as well. I am going now to fill another one after having this great revelation.

image credit: https://www.etsy.com/listing/46306990/lipton-sun-tea-jar-its-sunsational

A few minutes later...

The Secretary just arrived with Maggie's heartworm and flea medications. Maggie also gets a can of Vienna sausages that she just relishes on these occasions. We then just drove over in my mother's car to get my sodas for the day. It is cold and her car was warm.

"I can't believe I forgot to bring them to you," my mother said to me.

Mom forgot to order me Mexican food tonight as well and was trying to cajole me into driving down to fast food row and getting a value meal. I was more interesting in getting home and drinking my six sodas for the day.

image credit:  http://www.walmart.com/ip/Armour-Vienna-Sausage-6pk/10290880

Riding the Risperdal Express...

From the time I left my house to go get my injection to the time I had returned home, only 30 minutes had passed. Now, I call that service.  It helped that my father filled my prescription last night.

I grabbed my injection from my father and drove to Kamath Medical. I sat for a total of five minutes and then was called back to an examining room.

I felt no pain today from that huge needle. Not even a pinch. We try to alternate from one butt cheek to the other and I think it helps.

I just adore my nurse, Rebecca. I wish we could run off and live in the Caribbean together. We've been doing this for years now and have become quite good friends. After the birth of her second daughter, she has put on some weight. She asked me this morning if I thought she was getting fat.

"Now, you know you should never ask a guy that question, because if he has any sense he will lie and say no," I told her with a laugh.

As I was leaving the examining room, I stuck my head back in the door and said, "You look gorgeous just the way you are!"

She turned all different shades of peach when she blushed she is so fair skinned.

image credit: http://drugreporter.com/risperdal/

Wee Ones in Need...

Maggie abruptly woke me at 5 am. She was making little mewling noises next to me on the bed.

"Have you been outside lately?" she seemed to ask. "It is cold as shit out there and I gotta poop!"

Maggie needed her second string quarterback and a little support.

My attire was a white cotton "sleeping" t-shirt and some scotch print boxer shorts.  I pulled on some shoes and donned a warm coat. Out to the great wilderness that is my backyard we went. Maggie was cold and complaining about having to poop in such conditions. This is only the second time I've ever seen her poop in the eight years she has lived with me. She's less clandestine about peeing.

Resigning Myself to Staying Up...

It would be a fool's folly if I tried to go back to sleep now.  I just reinstalled Windows 10 on my gaming rig just out of sheer boredom and to pass the time. My Risperdal Consta injection in the old derriere is at 9 this morning which is 2 and half hours away. I think I am going to get breakfast started -- a simple breakfast of sausage and cheese biscuits and I might just scramble and egg or two as well.








image credit:  http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2014/01/23/quick-review-tyson-day-starts-sausage-egg-cheese-biscuit/

What Abomination is this?

Tulip Trees and the Medicine Man...

"Would you put my sodas out on the porch?" I asked my father about 30 minutes ago.

He has a much deserved day off.

On the drive over, I noticed all the tulip trees are in full bloom which was exciting. Next will be the daffodils. Warmer days are ahead! Personally, this winter has just flown by for me.

I was the dutiful son and called my father's cell phone so as not to wake my mother. That's one surefire way of making my father mad as hell is to call on the landline on his day off and wake my mother.

I noticed dad's hazard flashers were flashing on his CR-V when I pulled into the driveway. I walked up and quietly knocked on the door and told my father about it.

"Let's take your medications while we are out there," my father said as he keeps the medications in his Honda. "Do you have something to drink in your car?"

I held up my six newly acquired diet Cokes.

We took my medications and I was a happy man. It will make for a pleasant afternoon. Don't you just love such little coincidences in life? One good deed deserves another. I never did find out why my father had his hazard lights on, though. He certainly seemed surprised.

image credit:  http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/131729011293?ul_noapp=true&chn=ps&lpid=82

Don't the Good Days Feel Great?

I awoke at 11 am as if I had slept till 4 pm. My normal sleeping hours are from 4 am to 4 pm. I didn't get into bed until after 5 am I was having so much fun with my computers. I was ready to start my day -- feeling alert and fresh. I expect to feel tired in a little bit, but right now I feel awesome.

The first order of the day was to get breakfast started. I poached four eggs, made a pot of buttery grits, and toasted some frozen biscuits.  Oh, and I almost forgot the spicy hot Tennesee Pride sausage.  Seconds later, my coffee maker was beeping that its brewing was done.  I put Maggie's plate on the floor and proceeded to an exercise in gluttony. Maggie ate hers and then wanted mine. lol Dog logic dictates such things!

Paranoid Android...

My neighbor is off on a jaunt to the Waffle House for lunch.  He will not back up to look in my window during the day because he can't see in due to it being lighter outside than in. My father says that I am just blowing this all out of proportion. What else could he be doing I ask you? Is he practicing backing out his driveway? He will back up out of the carport, light a cigarette, and just sit there for 15 minutes.

Windows 10? Say it Ain't So...

When I awoke my bedroom computer this morning, I noticed it had downloaded Windows 10 overnight and is now asking me if I want to install it. This is the same bedroom computer I installed Windows 7 upon. It is going to be hard to resist as I always like the latest and the greatest as far as my computers go. I've always traditionally been a guinea pig and an early adopter. I hate to be shallow, but Windows 7 just looks better. The Aero interface is just gorgeous and I love the gadgets. There also seems to be less overhead -- the interface being much snappier and faster.

image credit: http://www.intowindows.com/download-windows-7-aero-theme-for-windows-10/

George and Shootin' the Shit...

George was a master at "shootin' the shit" as he called it or just idle chit chat for you laymen. At the time, I was living in an apartment in the basement of my deceased grandmother's house. George would come over with a cooler full of ice beer and we would pull out some lawn chairs and shoot the shit and drink beer until we were shitless. The conversation would grow sillier with each beer we downed.

This One is in the Books...

His arrival was a little late tonight, but seeing Papa pull up in front of my house is always a very good feeling. Maggie squealed with glee as he pulled to the curb. I know I say this all the time, but he is my cavalry coming to the rescue. He bolsters the third shift for dealing with another day of life.

"I had such a great and awesome day," I told my father ecstatically which he is always glad to hear.

"No beer I hope," my father replied with a hearty laugh.

Maggie loves it, too. She knows that nightfall means my father will soon arrive. Maggie sat on the back of the couch looking out upon the road whining for about an hour before my father arrived. I guess dogs have some kind of internal clock as well as humans.

"Sorry I am so late," my father said as he walked in the door. "We had a planning meeting for the dinner party I am throwing. We all are going to watch the last few episodes of Downton Abbey and eat dinner and dessert afterward."

Well, that all sounds frou frou. Charlie will play a heavy part in all of this I am sure. That sounds right up his alley.

"John, we've got to get the silverware polished and the chandelier needs cleaning as well," I can hear Charlie say.

image credit: http://www.keoghdesign.com/can-use-paper-plates-tonight/

Stormy Night Ahead...

"It hasn't rained like this in a decade," my father told me last night as he drove us to Kroger. "We went through a decade-long dry period."

I am lucky that my father and I both love the weather. It always gives us something in common to talk about. My brother and my father share football.  My father and I share a love and zeal for the weather.

"I think we are in the middle of a La Niña," I replied to my father. "A cooling of the seawater off the coast of Chile."

Of course, it is much more complicated than that.

We have all kinds of watches and warnings out for eastern Alabama tonight. It is raining right now at a pretty good clip. I am pretty sure downtown is flooding about right now. The city will put up barricades disallowing entrance.

In all this flooding we've had lately, my father's river house has remained unscathed and the corner of the house is mere feet from the Chattahoochee river.

An aside: My den computer is in front of the windowed door looking out to my neighbor's house.  He keeps backing up in his van to where he can see me in the window. He will sit there for awhile and then pull back into his carport. He does this a lot lately. He's doing it right now. Dad says I am just being paranoid.

image credit: http://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2006/s2572.htm

I Like Shopping...

Your Walking On Thin Ice Pops...

Mom and I just came to the consensus that my father's wine imbibing is causing the forgetfulness.

"He's had a lot of wine since last week," mom told me over the phone.

Drinking the wine doesn't make me feel better, but not getting Alzheimer's does.

My Trip to The Pig and Fred's...

I've just had a little shopping foray and it was fun.  The Piggly Wiggly sure was busy, though. I wanted some Penrose pickled sausages and some mixed nuts at Fred's. I kept thinking The Pig was out of sausages, but they just moved them. A cheery clerk helped me with that.

"Your daddy's going to get on to you for these shopping trips," my mother told me on the phone later.

"Oh hell, let him be mad," I said to my mother with a laugh. "He ought to be glad that's all I am getting and it was under ten dollars."

Dad thinks the worst -- that I am getting Benadryl at Fred's. The 100ct. bottle of Benadryl is only a little over $4 dollars there.

"You would see it in my behavior!" I told him. "I would be drunk all the time!"

Next, I walked down to Fred's past the place that Big S always sat and panhandled. I greeted a new clerk, a frumpy looking black lady, as I walked by. The turn around on clerks at this store is just dizzying.

It is hard not to impulse buy in Fred's. They had 2 liters of grape soda on sale for .99 cents.

An Old Memory of George...

George and I were sitting in his dilapidated old Dodge Diplomat smoking cigarillos and drinking beer.  Ferret and Big S were sitting on the bench in front of the Piggly Wiggly. They were hitting people up for money. The Manager came outside and told Ferret and Big S they were going to have to move -- that customers were complaining.

George stood up out of his car and said to the manager, "You gotcha an infestation of niggas! Better call the exterminator."

George is African American so he could get away with saying the N word.

Much hilarity was had. I just died and busted out laughing. George's antics could always make me smile.

Senility?

My father's mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease.  Lately, my father has been doing odd things. Tonight, he left my medications on the piano. That's something he never does. He has forgotten the medications only 2 or 3 times in years.

The other day we took my medications early in the day and that night he comes back over to give me my medications again.

"Uh, Dad, you've already given me my medications," I told him.

I almost liked to have never convinced him that he did.

Also tonight, he saw me get my diet Cokes and then he comes running out to my car in the driveway telling me I forgot my Cokes.

There have been several other strange things as well that I can't recall off the top of my head.

To My Dear Friend Glittermom...

Thank you as always for commenting.  I don't always reply back, but I do appreciate you.

This Pudding Isn't in the Pie...

"Don't let me forget my two Mountain Dews," I told my father walking through the rain into the store. "It is my very favorite thing about grocery day and I forget every time."

Well, I spent the grand sum of $76 dollars tonight. I went wild on the milk chocolate pudding. I bought 5 huge super snack packs and they were $2.57 a piece.

"You did well!" my father said as we walked out into the pouring rain to load up my groceries.

I just said, "Uh, okay."

I thought I had over spent a little bit.

"I am about getting ready to turn these grocery shopping trips over to you soon," he told me. "You know I can still see what you spend online. You will also need to bring me your receipt for Social Security."

To be honest? I am going to miss him. It was a good bonding time for us. Dad and I have had the best laughs and conversations doing this little necessary evil every week. Dad also finds my shopping extremely interesting as well.  He says I buy interesting and off-the-wall kinds of things.

I got LOTS of breakfast foods and they are expensive. Bacon and sausage especially. I also got 3 gallons of sweet milk this time so they will last me the whole week. I also can't eat breakfast without three of four slices of good cheddar cheese to eat along with it. A good brand of frozen biscuit rounded off my selection of breakfast foods tonight. Dad's mom would say you could have some homemade biscuits in your oven in 15 minutes and on the table in 30. The only kind of the Pillsbury canned biscuits I like are the flaky kind -- the crescent rolls are delish, though.

During all of this, it was just pouring rain.  Dad held an umbrella over me as we unloaded my groceries from his car and into my house.

I am fixing to get in the kitchen and fix the MagDawg and I a slam-bang breakfast/supper for these breakfast impoverished and obsessed souls.

Family Communion...

Sometimes you just need a little tender loving care, you know? I needed something to perk me up.

"Come over and get some vegetable beef soup and some sweet tea," my mother told me. "Your father cooked tonight."

Dad got on the phone and urged me to come as well.

There was a break in the rain and I went for it taking a very big gamble. I was sitting at my parent's table eating soup and cornbread when Charlie walked in the back door. I smiled the biggest smile.

"I'm getting to see all my favorite people today!" I beamed.

"Oh hell, you don't want to see this old grouch!" Charlie said with a laugh as he gave me a hug.

The soup and cornbread went a very long way to lift my spirits. I was just hungry and lonesome. I told my father he was just like his mother when cooking delicious and soul nourishing food was concerned. I also got to get my six diet Cokes for the day and the caffeine has perked me up some as well.

image credit: http://www.recipeshubs.com/slow-cooker-vegetable-beef-soup/2606

Complicated Grocery Run Tonight...

My windshield wipers are broken once again and it is raining cats and dogs here. Pittsville. A heavy frost the other morning got them. I will have to ride with my father and he will help load and unload my groceries. The time is just crawling by and I wish it would fly by. I need to find something fun to do and pronto.

I am not cooking dinner this week. It is going to be a strictly frozen meal and breakfast foods week (well, I guess breakfast foods entail cooking, but you know what I mean). My main goal is to get more of that wonderful milk chocolate pudding now that Kroger is carrying the larger jumbo 6ct. size. I am making a list right now trying to remember everything I need. I am also hooked on those big bags of Kroger frosted flakes for 3 dollars and some change. When I get home and get everything put away, I want a mound of scrambled eggs, a big bowl of cheesy grits, and buttered biscuits with strawberry preserves. I also want cheese on wheat crackers and cream cheese and chives crackers tonight.

Do you ever just get the funks? I've had the funks since last night. If my life wasn't so regimented, I would call Laura and ask her out to eat. I would be spontaneous and do something fun. The grindery must grind on. Groceries have to be gotten at 9 pm Monday night.

You know what bores me to tears lately? Facebook. I just got on for the first time in a week hoping to pass the time and it was the same old, same old. People posting the same old inspirational quotes and recipes. I don't want to pray for the 100 sick children in a row. Do you want to help the family? Don't pray! Pay their medical bills! Facebook is also so full of misinformation.

And the Night is Winding Down...

It just turned 3 am and I am already sleepy and ready for the bed.  Maggie's been asleep for hours except for one quick potty jaunt. I am experiencing SAD tonight. Seasonal Affective Disorder. I moved a bright lamp in here and that seems to help. I have this feeling right now that I am the only person in the whole wide world. It's a lonesome feeling. When I awake at usually 4 pm then that gives me only about 2 hours of sun in my day with it quickly setting not long after I have gotten out of the bed.

image credit: http://theodysseyonline.com/philadelphia-university/about-seasonal-affective-disorder/244430

Candid Conversations...

An old friend of mine called me last night and we got on the subject of addictions. We both have what we called was an addictive mindset.

"What made you drink?" he asked me. "Come on. You can be honest with me."

We both know each other's history and even went to DUI school together one time. How's that for coincidence?

"I was a miserable old wretch back then and it made me feel better," I told him. "It was a sheer reprieve from misery and mental illness. Time also seemed to fly when I was drinking. Everything seemed more enjoyable. The computer, music, and beer seemed made for each other."

"I drank for some of the same reasons," Chad told me. "And then I got hooked and couldn't quit. I loved to drive out country roads with a twelve pack of beer. I would tune the radio to some country music and have a grand time as I rode out Smedley road."

I told him I am kind of besieged with substance abusing parents at the moment, and they wonder where I get it from. I told him I got the worst of them both as far as my genes are concerned when my gene selection process was going on when I was conceived.

image credit:  http://www.authentichistory.com/1921-1929/2-socialchange/1-prohibition/2-music/1919_SM_John_Barleycorn_Goodbye.html

Wound Up Tight as a Top...

Charlie was very reserved tonight, but my father was wild -- acting like a court jester. Charlie basically had the job of chaperoning my father tonight.

"Have you had a few drinks?" I asked him warily as he laughed.

I knew things were interesting when he had his baseball cap turned backward on his head. I called him a homeboy.

"Skrait Outta Compton!" he exclaimed, catching me by surprise with that reference, and I just busted out laughing.

Dad stood out in the front yard barking loudly to get Maggie and all the neighborhood dogs barking as well. I am sure my neighbors appreciated the sentiment. Well, bark Maggie did and the rest of the neighborhood dogs barked wildly as well. We had a wildman in Andrew's front yard! I am sure my neighbor next door who was sitting in his running van in the carport wondered what the hell my father was drinking. My neighbor has been drinking beer in the bottle all day and you hear the tale tail sound of empty bottles slamming on each other as they land in the trash.

I got burgers again tonight. A Wendy's double w/cheese to be exact with a side of Wendy's subpar fries. I am starving and will soon eat after the hour has passed and my medications have soaked in. I can dig in about 9 pm. Let's hope I can resuscitate these french fries in the microwave. I think I will refry them in some olive oil on the stove in a saute pan. I love 'em crunchy.

Dad and Charlie were late tonight having to wait on chicken to cook at the KFC (this happens often). Leaving without Horsefly's chicken strips is not an option.

"Goddamn!" Charlie said earlier. "How can Kentucky Fried Chicken run out of chicken?"

image credit:  http://www.businessinsider.com/wendys-chipotle-panera-five-guys-2012-10

Papa's and Charlie's Night Out...

I've quickly gotten ready for Charlie and Papa to arrive with the Sunday night feeding. I've taken a quick shower and put on some really fresh and clean clothes. I expect them to arrive around 7 pm.

Charlie always feels compelled to take out my trash and clean up my kitchen and went ahead and took it out for him and straightened things up as well. I will let him get Maggie food and water as he normally does.

Dad likes to look at some Britsh Monarchy fan sites and I already have then searched and pulled up on the den computer. I have no idea what we are getting to eat this week. I am sure my mother will tell Charlie and my father Wendy's. I started that little trend much to my own chagrin. Oh Poseidon, bless us with fried fish this week!

I've spent the ENTIRE day completely revamping my bedroom computer. I am going to see if Windows 10 is really so much better than Windows 7 which I now have installed. It was a labor of love I am telling you. It took hours to download all those updates and the service pack.

Welcome to Xanax LadyLand...

I just called my mother and asked her what she was getting tonight and she asked me what day it was!

"Mom! You are three sheets to the wind!" I tersely told her. "It is late Sunday evening!"

Mom's been out of it all weekend. She is on a bender. My father is angry with her for being drunk when they went out to eat with friends last night. A good sign of drunkage was my having to do her hair last night. We should have made her stay home.

If It Ain't Broke Then Don't Fix It...

I say that over and over all the time and fail to do it too. I just had a bad computer user caused screw-up to happen. It was purely my impatience that caused it. Samsung notified me that a new firmware update was available for my solid state drive. I was upgrading the perfectly working drive's firmware and it was taking a long time so I hit reset on the computer and it erased the freaking drive! I should have left good enough alone! Thankfully, I've got the drive up and running Windows 10 from a system restore I had of that drive stored on a DVD-RW disc. Everything is back to normal now. Whew!

image credit: https://www.hardwareheaven.com/2013/07/samsung-840-evo-solid-state-drive-review/

A Little Birdie's Birds-nest...

Dad called me this evening sounding somewhat despondent.

"We are going out to eat with your brother and family. Will you come and do something with your mother's hair? It is a terrible mess!"

"Let me take a shower and I will be right over," I sleepily told my father followed by a yawn.

It was 4 pm and I was just getting up for the day. I went to bed at about 3:00 am last night.

Segueway to my parent's house...

Mom's hair was a mess and I worked my magic. I often have to do this for my father. Mom will lie down all day and her hair gets flat in the back. I got her hair pick out of her makeup drawer, fluffed it up for a few minutes, and added a little hairspray of the big, beautiful and sexy hairspray brand she had on her bathroom counter.

"Thank you, sweetheart," my mother told me still half asleep.

"Oh, that looks a hundred percent better," dad said as we finally walked into the den.

Mom was like a zombie tonight and dad and I both urged her to stay home.

Dad had cooked a big meal today and I had three plates of food to take home with me. I was overjoyed. We took my medications and I almost couldn't get to my car my hands were so full. I also had my six diet Cokes to carry as well.

image credit: http://www.playbuzz.com/kaitlynizsraael10/how-natural-is-your-hair

Amy Winehouse -- Addicted...

If you've ever been addicted then this will make you smile -- Andrew.

"Tell your boyfriend next time he around. To buy his own weed and don't wear my shit down. I wouldn't care if brave would give me some more. I'd rather him leave you than leave him my draw. When you smoke all my weed man. You gots to call the green man. So I can get mine. And you get yours."

My Father Was Right...

Just like that and the pain from my toothache was gone when I woke up this afternoon. It is nice to sit here and not be in any terrible pain. Dad was right about this antibiotic and the swelling is gone as well. I have a follow-up dentist's appointment in the morning to get that irascible tooth pulled. (I'm having second thoughts about that, though, and there is no way in hell they are putting me through a root canal!)
Don't you think I have been through enough?

Fork and Knife in Hand...

When do we eat? lol

I was just over at my parent's house and dad was cooking a roast in the crock pot to make sandwiches out of. The kitchen and den smelled wonderful. He said it had been simmering all day.

"Do you think you can eat some of this?" he asked me.

"I am starving," I told him -- my lost appetite returning. "I really haven't been able to eat much in days."

"I'll bring some sandwiches when I come tonight with your medications," he told me.

I grabbed two days worth of sodas and headed home. I still have lots of groceries left from Monday night's grocery shopping as well which is nice.

Beulah?  You're So Far Away...

Dad said last night that we might have lost Helen. Her car is broken and she doesn't have the money to get it fixed. It is a later model Honda Accord and I think the transmission is going out. Helen's been a part of the family for years and I am going to miss her. I urged my father to get her car fixed and he says he is thinking about it.

"Think of all the wonderful meals she has cooked over the years!" I strongly urged my father.

image credit:  http://www.recipe4living.com/recipes/crockpot_dr_pepper_roast_beef.htm

The Calvary Arrived...

I was so glad to see my dear father tonight. No better person could have pulled up in front of my house. He had some Orajel which has really helped with the pain tonight.

"What time are you going to bed?" he asked me.

I told him I stay up to about 4 am.

"Take another dose of that antibiotic before you go to bed. That antibiotic will clear up that pain and swelling much faster than any pain pills," he told me much to my relief. "You should be feeling much better by morning."

Maggie got well taken care of tonight as well. We were all feeling the love. She got her bowl of nibbles and a fresh ceramic bowl of cold water. She began eating as soon as my father put it on the floor which is pretty abnormal for Maggie. Maggie can be clandestine about her eating and pooping habits. She was hungry earlier and I had thrown caution to the wind by feeding her a half-eaten bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce earlier. A meal she relished.

image credit: http://www.first-team.us/

Tales of Woe...

I awoke at 6:30 tonight confused to whether it was evening or morning. That is always disconcerting and disorientating. I was just like Martha who will call me and ask me if it is morning or night. Then I realized what happened this morning and the fact that my tooth was still hurting. The dentist said my tooth was too infected to pull and put me on a regimen of strong antibiotics. I have to go back in a few days for another x-ray and to see if the swelling has gone down.

"I am giving you today's Klonopin," my father told me this morning. "It will help with your anxiety."

So, I got all 4mg of Klonopin this morning instead of tonight.

Dad had walked into the dentist's office with me and told the receptionist to watch me -- that I might just disappear. The receptionist laughed nervously. I was in too much pain to just disappear this morning, though.

The dentist also prescribed some very strong pain medication, but we all know I can't take those along the same lines of why I can't have a six pack of beer every night. It triggers that addictive process in my brain. I bravely asked the dentist to at least numb the tooth so I could get back to sleep when I arrived home. He eagerly agreed.

"Slight pinch," he said as the needle was going in.

So, I am sitting here drinking ice water as that is the only thing I have found to keep the pain at bay. I have another big jug of ice water in the freezer getting cold. As long as I take a drink every few minutes then it keeps the pain from being excruciating.

Long Night!

I almost headed to the emergency room to get a shot of Demerol I was in so much pain. It is 4:49 am now and the pain has started to ease up quite a bit. Taking a gulp of ice water and keeping it around my painful tooth has helped the most. That brought the pain into check. I am fixing to go to sleep until about 8 am. I have to be at the dentist at 9 am when they open.

Sorry For a Quiet Day...

I've had the most terrible and excruciatingly painful toothache today. I've been inflicted with sheer misery. Mom called the dentist and he called in some antibiotics to the pharmacy believing I have an abscessed tooth. I have an appointment to see the dentist first thing in the morning. My fear of dentistry equals my fear of barbers. Ah, bless!!! They always have a hard time getting me numb and I feel a lot of pain. I am going to tell the Dentist to pull it and forego a root canal and a crown. It is one of my rear molars.

Intimacy Revealed...

I drove up to La Grange to get Laura Valentine's day. I grew more nervous with every mile that passed. I really am not good with this sort of matter. She met me at the door while I was holding a heart-shaped box of Whitman's chocolate and a card. On the card, I wrote, "I care about you very much and consider you a very good friend. Happy Valentines! You're Special!" She appreciated the sentiment and gave me a very heartfelt hug.

"You kids have a good time," Laura's mother told us.

I smiled -- thanking Laura's mother.

"I am 42 years old momma!" Laura replied with a huff.

Undeterred, she asked me what was my ex-wife's favorite restaurant in Newnan, Georgia. I had talked about it before to her and said we were going sometime soon.

"Ah, you're speaking of Fire Dragon. It is a Thai and Malaysian food restaurant."

It was another 30-minute drive up the interstate to Newnan towards Atlanta. I had to help Laura order as the food listed sounded kind of ambiguous and Laura wasn't familiar with Thai food. I ordered us both the Beef Khao Soi with pickled cabbage. A dish I was familiar with. Our food was hot and delicious. Laura was thrilled to have something culinarily "different".

On the drive back to Laura's house, she grabbed my hand and held it for the rest of the way. I blushed and said, "That felt nice".

Laura insisted on paying for our meal.

"You're my Valentine's today," she said. "I am treating you!"

It embarrassed me when it was time to pay and Laura reached down her chest and pulled two twenty dollar bills out of her bra to pay for our meal.  I've seen Helen do that as well.

I Had a License to Spend, but Prudence Won Over...

Yes, it won over this gunshy shopper.

"Helen's not coming again this week," my father told me on the drive to Kroger. "Get plenty of those frozen meals you like so you won't run out of food."

It was raining pretty heavily and my windshield wiper blades are kaput, thus the ride in my father's Honda.

"It is going to cost a little more," I cautiously told my father.

Well, I ended up only spending $72 dollars much to both our undesired chagrin.  I did get wholesome if inexpensive food. I love the frozen Tai Pei Asian meals that are 2 for $5. They only take 5 minutes to cook in the microwave as well. I have a beef and broccoli meal in the microwave cooking right now.

One night we will also be having spaghetti and meat sauce that will feed me for quite a few days as well. I forgot the onions and the minced garlic, though. I really wanted to experiment with those items and kick my meat sauce up a notch.

"You sure you've got enough food?" dad asked as we were in the checkout line.

"I will be fine," I told my father as the cashier rung up my 3rd gallon of whole milk. "I am going to be eating lots of cereal."

My costliest and my most frivolous item was an ex-large $3.99 bottle of International Delight hazelnut coffee creamer. The palette of jumbo eggs I bought was expensive as well. Breakfast foods, in general, are expensive.

"Shit dad!" I said to my father when we got my groceries loaded up and in the back of his car. We were about to drive off. "I forgot my two Mountain Dew sodas and that's my favorite thing about grocery night."

I quickly ran inside due to my father's urgings and purchased two drinks via a self-checkout line and was quickly back in my father's car.

"Thank you!" I told him very graciously and sincerely.

image credit:  http://www.groceries-express.com/WebPages/4127102568%20International%20Delight.html

Don't Say De Nada...

Saying "de nada" in Spanish is similar to saying, "Oh, it's nothing!" Well, I just witnessed some of the scariest weather moments in my life. I swear we had a tornado pass over last hour. I was about to grab Maggie and get in my steel tub and pray for the best, and I am not a praying type of fellow nor do I ever get scared of the weather. I have never seen the wind blow so hard and the rain blow sideways like that. Maggie, my crazy dog, slept through the whole ordeal on the bed amidst a sea of comforters while I waited for the tornado siren down the street to go off. The only real damage to my house is that my laundry room flooded. I've already swept most of the water out of the house. I need to get my mop and bucket to finish getting up the rest of the water.

Rinse and Repeat...

It seems inclement weather will besiege us on grocery day tonight. It is just absolutely pouring rain to our west and headed this way. Looks like a few storms are becoming severe as well with some tornados mixed in for good measure.

Yes, it is another rumination on grocery day.  We will be cooking spaghetti and meat sauce once again this week (I can never tire of the stuff it seems). I think I have about perfected my recipe. There will be two additions suggested by my readers and that is sauteed minced garlic and diced onion in olive oil. A little birdy told me that I can find already diced onion in the frozen vegetable section as we must make this sauce as easy to prepare as possible.  Then I will add two pounds of ground chuck, two large can's of Hunt's tomato sauce, two cans of Hunt's Italian tomato paste, and one large jar of Prego traditional style pasta sauce.

Let us pray, too, that the dairy gods bless Kroger tonight and they have whole milk in stock this week as I want three gallons to go with my 2 large bags of Kroger frosted flakes.

I will also have to get some frozen meals to placate my father.  The Bertolli meals have been the best ones I have eaten so far. Their chicken parmigiana meal is delicious. Marie Calender? I am kicking you to the curb.

Then we have Andrew's milk chocolate pudding to contend with. I hope they are still 10 for $10 this week. That is such a wonderful comfort food to me. We might get some vanilla pudding as well so Maggie can join in on the bounty.

image credit:  http://www.readthespirit.com/feed-the-spirit/category/meat-poultry-fish/

A Day's Beginnings...

I awoke at 2 pm and started my day. That gave me about 8 hours of sleep. I stayed up till about 4:30 am playing emulated Sega Saturn games.

I called my parent's and couldn't get them on the phone as I was wanting my diet Cokes for the day. Dad's phone was kicking me straight into voice mail. They must be taking the grandkids back to Alexander City as they spent the night with my parents last night. Thankfully, I gambled and my mother left my drinks on the back porch or that would have been one depressing drive home fruitless.

I could hear my neighbor crushing beer cans as he recycles them and gets money every few weeks. He had quite a task I noted this afternoon when I looked out my kitchen window to see what he was doing. He then left to go eat a late lunch at the Waffle House.

Maggie and I ate the last of the breakfast foods in the house. We had two large bowls of buttery grits. I hope he who holds the purse strings is kind tonight as I am about out of everything grocery wise this week. Especially my coveted breakfast foods. Hello sausage and bacon. We welcome you!

image credit:  http://www.theoldcomputer.com/game-box-art-covers/index.php?folder=Sega/Saturn/S/Shining%20The%20Holy%20Ark%20(J)