Christmas was wonderful and one of the best in years. It felt so good to be included in everything. It made up for last year’s debacle. Christmas night last year was spent in the woods all alone with nothing but a twelve pack of cheap ice beer, my little radio, memories of Christmas’ past, and a fire to keep me company. Christmas supper was reconstituted freeze dried spaghetti in a foil pouch. I will never forget lying in my sleeping bag and crying hysterically in a drunken stupor until I grew too tired to cry any longer. I thought it was the end of the world and I felt I had no reason to go on.
My father had asked me a few weeks ago what I wanted most for Christmas. My reply was that I wanted a spare tire for my truck (mine is flat and dry rotted) and a $100 shopping spree at the grocery store. He laughed at first until he realized I was serious. So I got a spare tire and no longer have to worry about that. I’ve been driving without one for months. He also took me to the grocery store and we went shopping to stock my freezer. I put in my weekly $40 dollar grocery money from my budget and that gave me $140 dollars. I bought things that I could never usually afford such as steaks, roasts, ribs, frozen pizza, name brand bacon, tenderloin, and the list could go on. I now have a fridge and freezer stocked with rich people food! 8^)
Tonight I am feeling sad and melancholy. I have just arrived home from a Christmas party at Charlie’s house (Charlie is my father’s best friend and the fellow who helped me get my new home and sold it to me at a ridiculously low price of $35,000. He is more of an uncle to me than my blood kin uncles.) He and his wife gave me a really nice fleece jacket for school. Luckily, it was from the big and tall men’s shop so it fit my 6 foot 4 inch frame perfectly. I am enamored with this jacket.
The reason I am feeling sad and melancholy is that these wonderful past few days are over. I loved being around all those people the past few days and didn’t realize how isolated I can be. My social anxieties faded away and I felt comfortable in a room full of people.
Tonight as me and my parents were driving home. I turned to my father and said….
“I dread going home to that quiet, empty apartment.”
“Son, you are a different person. Used to you wouldn’t make an effort to be with us. I like to hear you say that.” He replied.
I told them all Merry Christmas, got out of the car, and slowly walked up the drive to the house. I turned and watched them drive away watching as the car crested the hill and disappeared. A dark and lonely apartment awaited me.
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