Setting out for the Evening…

It is lightening outside as I write this. The weather had been so weird lately here in the south. You can hear the far off distant rumble of thunder. This kind of warm weather helps me save on my natural gas utility bill. I do not have to use the heat. I just put on extra layers of clothes to stay warm. I find that my tolerance for chill since last year has greatly decreased. I used to could sit here in this apartment in 50 degree temperatures and stay warm and now it feels too uncomfortable. I have grown accustomed to a homed lifestyle and it has spoiled me.

Last night I went camping. I had to get out in the great outdoors and be one with nature once again. It felt good but I didn’t have my old crutch of alcohol to rely on. It was much harder to get to sleep without the numbing affects of my substance of choice. I awoke very early in the morning to the rumbles of thunder and a hard and heavy rain beating on the lining of my tent. I laid there in my sleeping bag listening to Mother Nature pitching a temper tantrum outside my safe confines. I felt at home and had a certain calm come over me. I felt grounded and needed this.

Last night as I sat by a roaring fire and thinking, I watched as the sparks from the fire floated gently upwards through the leaves of a young oak tree. The updraft of the fire made the remaining leaves shimmer in the light. I thought of how much my life has changed recently. Things are growing ever more complicated and full of responsibility. I sometimes feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and it can tell on me. So many people are watching me and relying on me. They expect such great things to come from such a simple man. I want to live up to their expectations and prove all the nay Sayers wrong. I want to show the whole world that a man can rise from being homeless and destitute to changing the world around him and making a difference.

After the fire died down, I crawled into my tent and lit a candle. I lay in my sleeping bag reading The Last of the Mohicans by candle light until I grew sleepy and the candle had almost burned out. The act of my camping led credence to the book and made it all the more enjoyable. I found myself lost in the words on the pages.

Today my legs ache and moan from the past two days of exertion. I hiked many miles to and from my destination with a very heavy 80 pound backpack. My hiking legs have become soft and unaccustomed to great labor. I need to get back in the habit of hiking everyday for exercise. I had forgotten how settling and grounding it can be. At one time my legs were like the oaks that I like to have as company.

Well, let me close and quit rambling. My legs feel like Jell-O and a good hot bath will sooth what ails me. I am going to trudge upstairs, get in the bath, and read a good book. Good night.