The Wisdom of George

I was talking to George today down at the Piggly Wiggly about living in my car. George has what I call “street smarts.” Under that crass exterior, you can find some wisdom.

“You be fuckin’ crazy?” He asked incredulously as he held up his fist pretending he was going to hit me.

I stifled back a laugh as he doesn’t know about my schizophrenia. He probably has a point.

“I just want to be free,” I replied.

“Hell,” George said. “You be freer than most people be.”

“What do you mean?” I asked as he handed me a beer.

“Yo ass don’t have to work when you don’t want to. You be gettin’ all the food you want to eat. You don’t be havin’ no naggin’ ass wife.” George said as he puffed on his cigar. “Hell, I be havin’ to carry around all dem niggas all day just to make a few bucks and buy some beer.”

“George, my family drives me crazy though,” I replied. “I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes for being smothered.”

“My nigga-ass Pops wouldn’t have anything to do me,” George replied. “Just be glad yo ass got some family dat be seein’ ‘bout you.”

We then both sat quietly in his car smoking and drinking beer, watching as Cap W/Tag Guy made another sale of crack cocaine over by the dollar store. A young black lady who looked like what George calls “chicken heads” walked by him and they made a clandestine exchange. He calls them chicken heads because of how skinny they grow on the drug. Their Adam’s apples become pronounced and masculine looking and their heads bob as they walk.

“Now, dat be one hard workin’ nigga,” George said as he pointed Cap’s way. “Just be glad yo ass ain’t gotta stand out here all day in da cold selling dat shit to dem stupid mutha fuckas.”

“George, you have a point,” I replied. “I am better off than most.”

“Now, we just gotta start gettin’ yo ass some pussy on a regular basis,” He said with a grin. “Dem bitches ain’t gonna like some dumb-ass white cracka livin’ in his car.”

I busted out laughing when he said that. I had just finished off a can of beer and almost got choked.

“You’ve got a point,” I said as I continued to laugh. “It would put a damper on my sex life.”

George grinned some more and handed me another beer and cigar, urging me to drink up and have another smoke.