“Why don’t you want me to go to the beach with you?” She asked me. “Are you ashamed of me since I am so much older than you? I guess I am not the trophy girlfriend for your affluent and ‘esteemed’ family.”
“Carolyn, don’t start, okay?” I replied.
“Then why don’t you want me to go?”
“Cause I am scared of what my father will say,” I replied. “He wants me to give him some grandkids someday and your tubes are tied. You can never have children again. He will give me a hard time for weeks on end.”
“Well, goddamn,” She exclaimed. “I thought that was it. Quit pussy footing around. I am glad the truth finally came out. I thought it was odd we have been dating for weeks now and I have never met your family.”
I sadly sat in my Lazy Boy lighting up a cigarette out of nervous habit. I didn’t need this shit this morning. Conflict such as this makes me a nervous wreck. I took a drink from the coffee mug sitting on my side table to build up my courage.
“Okay, if you go, you have got to stick by me,” I said tersely. “They are going to disapprove of you and it is going to be uncomfortable to say the least with regards to them.”
“You love me, don’t you?” She then asked me.
“Yes, I care about you very much,” I replied.
“No, I asked you if you loved me,” She said again adamantly.
“Hun, you know I love you more than anything,” I responded.
“Then, let’s me and you drive down there, get a hotel room, and join in with the family. It certainly can’t be worse than Rachel and your family disliked her as well.”
“You have a point there,” I said as I smiled finally feeling the burden of our argument lifting. “Let’s go show them what we mean to each other. Let’s just don’t flaunt it though. We can be nice and kind about the whole affair.”
“I will follow your lead and certainly won’t flaunt our relationship in front of your family,” Carolyn replied. “I will respect them.”
Well, it seems I am no longer riding down with my father’s best friend to the beach. I and Carolyn will head down for the weekend on Friday. This will certainly prove interesting. I will have butterflies in my stomach the whole way down to Destin and Fort Walton Beach. Matter of fact, I have them now. I feel I am being selfish by flaunting my new girlfriend. It seems I have little choice in the matter as far as Carolyn is concerned.
7 comments:
fisrt of all, not selfish, but even if it was, you have every right to be, Carolyn makes you feel a hell of alot better than any of your family does (or so it sounds). you will be thankful to have her by your side, even if it is uncomfortable at first. life is uncomfortable, be glad you have her to make you feel good.
good luck
i don't think you are being selfish. i think you are being emotionally healthy.
don't let your father's attitude get in the way of your happiness. you and Carolyn get along. she makes you happy, your family should be happy for you. i bet they will be, if not at first, eventually.
Bully for her! And good on you both. Take the leap, make the stand. As a woman I can tell you, this will mean more to her than you trying to protect her from your family.
What your father wants from you as far as grandchildren go is neither here nor there. He's already proven that his desires for you and your life aren't as they should be - he'll most likely be more upset that you've found a support system outside of him, that you seem to be happy and doing well, and that you've found a woman who is good to you and for you.
Showing up with her is not "flaunting." Being happy around her in their company isn't either. Take joy in her, Andrew - you certainly deserve it.
Hello:
Only a brief comment here from me, and I suspect it will draw a great deal of ire from Andrew and the above commenters alike:
I think people here are overlooking the pain and aggrivation that Andrew will have to put up with in this situation.... he has three basic choices:
a. He might be able to have a very nice time with Carolyn at his home and have a wonderful few days of fun and happiness.
b. He might be able to enjoy a few days at a beach and might enjoy his family if he went alone.
Yet, by chosing neither, and instead creating a situation where he is going to jam all the disinterested parties together (Carolyn and his family members)... he gets:
c. Carolyn griping at him to go, and he will likely (as he states) have his family griping at him when they meet her.
Where does Andrew win in any of this? He does not. All that seems likely to happen is that he will be caught in the middle. His family will glower at him about her, Carolyn will glower at him about his family.
Sounds like a helluva lot of fun for him to me (sarcasm). My opinion is that his family does not have a right to dump on him like he suspects they will.... and Carolyn does not ahve a right to dump on him like it appears she has by demanding to go when he would rather that not be the case. Why do people think it is acceptable for anyone to dump all over anyone else?
I will await the flood of rancor towards my comment. I apologize for it already, but I feel very strongly that Andrew is being dumped upon both ways and it is rude for people to treat him like that.
PipeTobacco
How is Andrew supposed to have his own kids or be a father if he can't stand up to his own father on the issue of whom he is going to partner with? CUT THE CORD!
If you don't want to step up to the plate for the woman you're with then maybe you don't deserve to be with her.
I think everyone needs to mind their own business and leave the man be. My gosh, I leave for the weekend, come back to find an invite only blog, and now I know why.
People need to look in the mirror before passing judgement on a grown man who is totally responsible for his own actions.
LAY OFF PEOPLE!!!
Andrew,
I missed you. Everyone has a say-so and their own opinion. Remember that the only thing that matters is what the man looking back in the mirror cares about. Okay? Lovya!
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