I once again walked those lonely streets through downtown this morning on my hike. It is so frustratingly maddening not being able to sleep. My eyes burned and my head pounded from the effects of only four hours of rest. I swung by the all-night convenience store once again to try and quench my unquenchable thirst and to satiate my sweet tooth.
“Another restless night?” The clerk said through thick glasses with beady eyes as I walked through the door.
We have developed a casual rapport with each other.
“You wouldn’t happen to know someone who could hook me up with some valium, do you?” I asked jestfully in response.
The clerk chuckled nervously with shifty eyes as if he did know someone, but said no.
I then placed a large orange flavored Gatorade and a Hershey’s bar w/almonds upon the counter.
“$2.34,” The clerk said, holding out his greedy little hand.
I handed him two dollar bills and some change after counting it.
“Say, didn’t you tell me the other night you used to work here third shift?” He then asked, drumming up a conversation.
“I worked here for about a year when I was in college,” I replied.
“Doesn’t this job just suck donkey balls?” He asked as he smiled facetiously.
“It’s not an experience I would like to repeat, but it did pay the bills,” I replied.
“Sometimes, I think 7am will never get here,” He said. “These early morning hours tend to drag on so long and seem to last forever.”
“I know how you feel. I have been in your shoes,” I replied.
I finally bid the clerk goodbye and continued on with my morning hike. This sleepy little southern town was eerily quiet as I walked. Nary a car or person was to be encountered. Here I was, a lonely soul walking in the deepest, darkest hours of the night; alone with my thoughts and a most vivid imagination. I thought of down feather comforters, fluffy pillows, and sleep, blissful sleep. I think it is time to get a prescription for a sleep aid. I don’t think I can bear another sleepless night.
14 comments:
Hi there,
Just thought I'd tell you that I find your blogs really interesting to read. You're a great writer.
Thanks, and good luck with the insomnia.
I hope that you can get help for your insomnia. I haven't tried anything for mine, but it does get old. Are you able to sleep later in the morning, or do you just make do with four hours of sleep like I do?
Jamie,
I catnap sometimes in the afternoon, but usually just make do. I hope you have a great day!
Andrew
I wish you could sleep. Will you go to your doctor for a prescription? Sometimes it takes time to find the right one, although I don't know if there's a miracle product. I've found what works for me, but my doctor doesn't like it. Oh well. My bad insomnia passed years ago, with no real reason. What I found to be the worst part of insomnia was the lonliness.
My mother has diabetes and the burning feet that go with it. I'm sure she could relate to your insomnia as she often gets four hours or less of rest. I hope you are able to find something soon to help.
I was thinking about you at 4am this morning Andrew.. Thank goodness for the store and the clerk eh! An island in the stream. Take care.
Sometimes a long walk isn't very effective for insomnia... by the contrary it makes you feel more energetic :S
Don't take Valium... hot milk with honey instead of sugar it's better and healthier.
Kisses from Chile.
M.
www.fotolog.com/maryi
I have to take stuff to be able to sleep. I've given myself the handle, "MidnightWriter." *sigh* Good luck getting some sleep.
“$2.34,” The clerk said, holding out his greedy little hand."
Your choice of words there struck me as funny.
Yeah I sometimes lye awake a night and I will listen to some really strange radio talk shows. Some really weird stuff on at 3:00 AM Sleep deprivation is usaully a symptom of some other underlying issue going on. are you in therapy?
Rich,
I think it is just my medications I take for my mental illness. I am on a lot of anti-depressants which can make you alert and jittery. I used to see a therapist, but haven't been going to save money. Thanks, all, for the comments!
Andrew
Since Zoe's death I've tried taking sleeping pills - both to bring on sleep and to try to stop the nightmares. They don't work. Whether I'm on them or not I still get the dreams, and I still wake up a lot. Sometimes I'm fortunate enough to get back to sleep.
When I can't, I'm usually too tired to get up and do anything, although I'd love to be able to switch on the light and read - one of the disadvantages of being married is having to share your space! On those nights, I just lie in the dark, thinking about how unfair life can be and crying quietly to myself. Maybe going for a walk would be a better idea!
You have talent as a writer. You've a very interesting blog. I am just beginning and I can't seem to stop. Stop by and visit my blog sometime.
WOW! What are you going to do about Rosa? Seems she's a bit Jealous of Carolyn and she's hoping that you'll come around and invite her into a "relationship" with you.
YIKES, I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading your blog...sure beats any afternoon and early morning and late nite tv..Good luck. You're a good friend to those people. Be proud of yourself.
and enjoy that cigar.
CONFESSION: I LOVE CIGARS..not very classy, but still an occasional puff or two is just so exhilerating!
Always,
Crusty~
Hey Dude you're right about the meds they can keep you up at night especially when you're getting used to a new one.
Hang in there!!
Post a Comment