Had another very small A.A. meeting. Only ten showed up. The meeting was up in Lagrange, Georgia and they are renowned for their big and boisterous meetings. I feel like I am entering A.A. at one of it's low points.
I sat and listened to a wonderful man speak. His name was Ken and he had been a lifelong alcoholic. Aren't we all?
"I was blacked out and drove through the store window. I woke up with glass everywhere and broken 12 packs of beer adorning my hood. I knew then I was in deep shit."
The room erupted in laughter. Ken went on to regale us in tales of his alcoholic exploits. This was what I needed to hear. I needed to hear hope and that a terrible alcoholic such as myself could get better and get sober. Far too often, the tales in A.A. are happy and jubilant -- people with seemingly no more problems. I know it is terrible of me, but I need to hear problems right now. I want to know I am not alone in my struggles.
"The police officer handcuffed me and said, 'Boy, you really pulled a number this time.' It was the end of my drinking career. I sobered up in jail and started to attend A.A. meetings. God saw fit to cure me of that terrible desire to drink."
I sat mesmerized as I listened. There was hope for me yet! I had never gotten in more trouble than just your average D.U.I. I had been lucky. I still had so many things. My home. My car. My cherub pup, Maggie. I was going to be okay.
After the meeting, I walked up to Ken to ask him, "Do you still desire to drink?"
"I do sometimes," he said. "Drinking has a way of sneaking up on you. That's why they say to be ever vigilant about alcohol. People, places, and things."
"Thank you," I told him. "You gave me more hope in twenty minutes than I have gotten going to hours of meetings."
He shook my hand and bid me goodbye.
I have a new lawnmower and am just thrilled. My friend, Charlie, has been cutting my grass for me and I felt terrible about it. I had a nice mower, but Rachel got it in the divorce. Dad came by today bringing the mower and a can of gas. I am going to go get busy cutting. My yard needs it!
5 comments:
sorry for any bad tones in the past. I hope I can avoid them in the future.
I can be such an ass.
Mage
Ken certainly got it.
New lawnmowers are always cool.
Have fun mowing the lawn. Physical work gets those feel-good endorphins going. I bet you'll feel great when you're done!
I'm glad Ken inspired you.
What an uplifting post, Andrew! I so agree that sometimes we need to hear not just about what people have accomplished, but how they struggle to achieve it, so we know that our struggles aren't so different, and we too can suceed. "Being vigilant about people, places, and things"... so true! Much like anyone who deals with depression, there are triggers that affect our moods and desires to go down the path of self-destruction, sometimes even friends we care about can be part of this. I've had friends I have had to keep some distance from, even if I love them, because they bring me down. Being around someone who is drinking can make it pretty hard to stay sober. I am really proud of the progress you are making and your determination to attend AA Meetings.
A mower of your own - great news! A good workout, and the satisfaction of sitting on your porch afterwards and knowing you've done good! I love the smell of fresh cut grass, even if it makes me sneeze!
My flower garden is gone now. I've already started thinking about what I'm going to do differently in it next year. Are you interested in landscaping at all? It's a fun hobby and can be as much or little work as you make of it.
Post a Comment