I read a blog religiously about a young lady who lives in Austin. She's famous and will let you know about it. Her book being well received, but a tad too racy for my own tastes. It reads like a written version of HBO's Sex and the City. I see myself in her and it makes me uncomfortable when I read her blog. She is sort of my yuppie antithesis -- rich, nanny to take care of the children, pool in the backyard. I see myself in her in the way she will reveal intimate details of her life for all to read. She even writes about her self gratification sessions which makes me squirm in this computer chair. I don't find it arousing or sexy at all. I find it gross and unsettling in that she uses her real name on this journal while writing candidly about these masturbation sessions. I am learning what not to do by reading her. It makes me want to withdraw and be reserved in my writings. It has made her famous and also the brunt of many online parody journals and jokes. I wonder if she realizes that many are laughing at her and not with her. Tisk! Tisk! Yet, I still read. Maybe that is why she is so popular. I read for the way she can weave a mundane day's happenings into words. She is truly talented in that regard. I guess as with many blogs you have to take the good with the bad.
This morning found me in a local shop as I noticed Christmas decorations for sale. I smiled as I picked up some ornaments and put them in my basket to buy. For once in my life, I had a home to call my own and room for a Christmas tree. I am already putting aside some money for a wreath to adorn my door made by my father's florist. I did notice how early they start selling this Christmas stuff with it not even being Halloween yet. It kind of sullies the whole reason for the season -- that being of Christ's birth. It has become one big commercial orgy that arrives just once a year. I stepped up to the cashier to pay and she struck up a conversation.
"Real tree or fake?" she asked me.
I smiled and said, "Only real for me!" I love the way a real tree will make my house smell, but I will be vacuuming up needles for weeks after Christmas.
"This will be my son's first Christmas," she said looking wistful.
"The first Christmas is almost as special for the parents as it is for the children," I replied, grabbing my bag of toilet paper, shampoo, and Christmas ornaments.
"An early Merry Christmas to ya!" she said as I walked out the door of the establishment.
I was grinning from ear to ear as I got in my car to drive home. Christmas is always a special time for me -- a time of joy and renewal. A time when my scattered family will come together to eat wonderful food, drink spiced tea, and sit around a fire laden hearth as we open presents. It is hard to believe we're only mere months away from Christmas -- the heat of a 90 degree day making it even more unbelievable.
23 comments:
Andrew,
I read you religiously and I think this time is my favorite because you are looking forward to something like Christmas, to me I guess it is something I can relate to. The decorations, smells and family togetherness is what makes it Christmas. I hope yours is the best!
okay, now you have us interested, what is the name of the blog? It sounds like a good read..........
Well, my name tells you how I feel about divulging too much personal stuff and I have to say... it's why I DO like the way you write. You are HONEST, but still seem able to maintain boundries.
That said.... I guess you won't give us the name of that blog, eh?
:-)
Pine needles- put down plastic first, tree stand/tree on top of it. scrunch plastic around stand, hide with tree skirt. when taking down tree, remove skirt, unscrunch plastic, undecorate... fold plastic around tree tie up, drag outside. it works, plus plastic gaurds against water on carpet/floor. I use paint tarps or cheapy table cloths....
hum, a blog is a diary read by others. it's up to the person how detailed they get i suppose. i never manage to write in mine, busier reading other peoples.
you might enjoy the book 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron.
Cheers!
Yeah, I wanna know about this racy broad! :)
christmas? Oh crap..I need to get shopping..it gets more expensive every year..and we keep things simple..
but you are right, only a real tree,..the pine...delicious!
It's important to always add a tad of sugar to the water that is in the tree holder..it keeps it sweeter, and smelling delicious!
Always,
Crusty~
Christmas *sigh* Oh, what a wonderful time of the year... ;o)
I have an acquaintance who writes explicit sexual stuff in her blog. I'm amazed that she would do that, but that's her, not me.
Christmas...soon it will take over me. It will be my obsession. It will be so beautiful.
cant get into the archive for august 2007.
How great it is for you to look forward to Christmas with a home of your own and a place to put a tree. It makes my heart smile for you.
Be well,
Lena
i just stumbled upon your blog, and read the first entry on the page. i absolutely agree about christmas. i'm in tx and it is still unbearably hot here. i keep wishing that it was cooler, and that it was christmas time. the world just lights up and one's faith in people is restored. your story makes me anxious for that wonderful time of year.
hey my first read and I don't know if I'll be back... I blogged about this yesterday though, it's titled, "Blogging your Feelings" it might be something that would get both of us an understanding as to why I should or shouldn't come back to read.
christmas is the longest season for us here in the philippines, it starts in the month of september and ends in january, i love this season but i don't i can myself a real christmas tree as you did^^
My first advertisement I saw about Christmas was during July! and funny how people sometimes spell it...Xmas..means Christmas withyout Christ! what a pity!
i have been eyeing the chrismas stuff myself. kind of makes you rush through the halloween and thanksgiving decorations. all verry weird and unsettling in the store at one time.
It was 93 here yesterday. WTH?
I love reading your blog...YOU ROCK..now tell me the URL of the other blogger that you were talking about *wink* mhmm...i read your blog everyday! honest! :)
Sir:
I think I tend to be more akin to the "Austin Lady" you speak of. For me, what I write about is wholly intimate and fully an expression of me. My typical pattern is to write about what has been or is the most significant thing on my mind or in my heart for that particular day. Sometimes it is happy, unfortunately lately it has often been sad, sometimes it is not emotional.... but political, sometimes it is about my thoughts on faith.
For me, to write about what has been or is most significant in a day for me is *my* purpose for blogging.
It is also true that I am likely a fellow of only very limited interest to most (as you can see when we compare our "hits" on our sites). But, regardless, what you see on my site is the raw, whole being that is me.
I am not sure if that is "so revealing" as in the "Austin Woman" but, it is me.
PipeTobacco
i think it's absurd that they set up so early for Christmas this year! ah, desperation.
i wouldn't like it either, but anyone who is well known must deal with critics. i'm sure the more edgy that woman gets on her blog, the more people love AND hate her. besides, nobody can please everybody.
I occasionally blog on MySpace and I, too, can be *too* honest. But, in a world where most of what we see unfortunately is illusion and flawed versions of the truth, people like you and the Austin Lady give the rest of us a breath of fresh air. You never know when your honesty is going to be the only truth that someone gets that day...
Speaking of truth, I'm writing this anonymously only because I have a family/job that I can't risk, but I did want to tell you that I, too, struggle with drinking. I have since I was a teenager, and at this point, it's over 3/4 my life now. Part of me knows it's bad, is going to wreck my health, etc. I'm a woman, so I can tell you that yes, it does affect women worse. But the other part of me justifies it because I am very functional (an over-achiever, over-responsible type person who doesn't seem alcoholic to anyone who knows me) and it does make me feel better on some level. I find that I can handle the stress and frustration and disappointment in life if I'm not "all there" at the time. It's a weird place I live in - I am falling down the rabbit hole fast and have a lot to lose...and part of me, as smart as I am, doesn't care. I'm not schizophrenic and don't have some of the issues you do, but sooo much of what you write resonates with me, and I wanted to tell you that there are a lot of times where I read what you wrote and go, "Yeah, I'm with you, brother."
You've posted many times about wanting to be "normal." Well, based on the people I know and work with, you're as normal if not more so than most. Who DOESN'T have issues, problems, disabilities or failings?
So as far as honesty, keep writing, Andrew. I live 1000 miles from you and go to work in a suit everyday, but lots of times, you're the most honesty I get all day. And as far as the drinking goes, I think the important thing to think about is how to be a better person - drinking or not. Inside myself, I know that I am a good person with a bad habit that I'm not yet ready to release. And I think you're a good person who is sincerely trying, too. All we can do is try.
To share or not to share, that is always the question, isn't it? I have found that if I start thinking about it too much, it stunts what I want to write. As you know, I pretty much put it all out there, and do sometimes wonder later what readers might have thought. I tend to agree with Pipe Tobacco on this one, I write about whatever is in the forefront of my mind at the moment, if that just happens to be sex, then it is! It's human. But I never right about anything just to attract attention, that's rather pathetic.
I love the magic of Christmastime too, but would love it much better if we could get the stores to agree to stop merchandising it in October! By December it's become very tiring.
I just want you to know how much I enjoy reading your blog no matter what you choose to or choose not to share. I cannot wait to get past Halloween and move onto Thanksgiving and Christmas! I hope you have a beautiful Christmas in your new home and I want to see pics of that wreath on your door!
There is a wide spectrum of being amongst us humans. I think if you can seek understanding and try very hard not to look down on other people you are much better off. That said I think it is kind of sad that you read someone's blog and disapprove of them. You should go further into this and find out what it says about you.
As for xmas, I call it Solstice, because that is what it really is, the return of the sun to our lives. Each day longer than the last. The romans gave it to us as 12/25 by running their solstice feast from the 21st on for several days. They didn't have the astronomy down that well, either, and thought the sun hesitated a couple of days before starting its return. It is the cycle, starting over in the midst of winter. It tells us all that life will go on, with us or without us. A good thing. And the tree comes from the tree worshipping days of our nothern ancestors who knew that the tree is the central living figure in the great painting of life on this planet we inhabit.
Congrats on your continued sobriety. I should be so lucky.
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