I heard the dogs barking in the kennels as I pulled up, got out of my car, and walked in. It was such a wonderful, jubilant sound -- the sound of unbridled joy. The dogs were so glad for the humans to return another morning. I busied myself cleaning kennels -- your standard scooping up dog poop and then spraying them down after putting the dogs on the outside. It is a messy, thankless job, but one for which I felt I was making a difference. They put more responsibility on me this morning asking me to do one of the most physically arduous jobs, kennel cleaning.
I left the Humane Society and drove up to the hospital. A long ago girlfriend and her mother were gracing the front desk.
"Hey," I said and waved shyly. I hadn't seen them in years. My homelessness, mental illness, and the drinking has really taken a toll on my looks over the years and they didn't recognize me.
"Who do I talk to to volunteer?" I then asked, getting up a moment of social courage.
Mrs. Sarah walked me around to the directors office.
"Come in and have a seat!" The director said excitedly.
I took a seat and cautiously crossed my arms. I was so nervous -- my social anxieties welling over.
"What makes you want to volunteer?" The director asked.
"I want to help people and give some purpose to my days," I squeaked. "I already volunteer out at the Humane Society."
"Oh, I just love dogs," the director squealed. I had broken the ice.
"When can you start?" she then asked.
"ASAP," I replied.
She signed me up for orientation on Friday. I told her I have schizophrenia and she said she needs my doctor to call her to let her know I can volunteer successfully. I told her I would get him on to it. I really don't know what I am doing. I do know I am tired of spending endless days with nothing to do. Long, idle days of sitting down at the shopping center watching life pass me by. I am hoping to help others and in turn, help myself. I hope I am not biting off more than I can chew.
I am now headed for a noon time A.A. meeting in Lagrange, Georgia. It's a long drive and one I don't relish. It is better than sitting at home alone, though. I hope I can get up the courage to walk into a strange room full of strange people. I am really pushing my boundaries these days!!!!
23 comments:
Yah team! Volunteer service surely is a two-way gift.
You know, cleaning up kennels makes dogs happy. I am sure they don't want to wallow in their own crap and neither do you. So it's not entirely thankless. Think of how it would be if they didn't get their kennels cleaned. Anyway, you're doing awesome Andrew, keep it up!
FANTASTIC!!! You are perfect for this!!! I'm so happy for you!!
Always,
Crusty~
Wow -when you decide to do something you really go for it! It is that determination that will ensure your recovery and integration back into 'society'.
Your strength is very admirable and I hope that you get lots of positive reinforcement for all that you are doing.
wow how wonderful for you . i know this will make u happy and will surely cut down on the not sleeping at nite , you will be too tired :) good for you andrew , keep going to your new job and your AA meetings, im sure you feel good about yourself with everything you have done recently. have you told your father yet. im sure he will be very proud of you . have a good day :)
Having a purpose and feeling needed in life; priceless.
We can all learn a lesson from you.
I'm so impressed.
I like what beautifully profound said about wallowing in our own crap as the dogs wouldn't enjoy doing either...perfectly said.
Always,
Crusty~
This sounds great! You inspire me (as you always do!)You know, your writing really reflects your smiles. Keep going! All the best!
Remember one of my long-ago comments to you about my son, who is also an alcoholic? He said that if he kept busy it helped him beat the desire to drink. I'm so glad that you are doing it. This is the beginning of great things for you, I just KNOW it. A big hug to you!
Wow! I am so proud of you! What a change one week has made in you. You are amazing! Keep up the amazing work... because it is work.
Stacy
I am so proud of you Andrew ;)
Good for you pushing your boudaries Andrew. It's growth that keeps us from going insane.
Wonderful! Just take it slow. If it gets to be too much one day at each place a week is still huge. I will be so excited to hear all the new adventures of Andrew. Who know's where it may lead? Each day could bring an unexpected joyful surprise.
What's up with Rosa and her grand daughter?
you have been taking courageous steps these days and i am just so happy for you, get out of your comfort zone and see the world outside, i know you'll get the hang of it, and my! you are also volunteering at the hospital? wow, go for it, gogogo...but don't tire yourself that much^^
The great thing about volunteering is that if you're not up to it one day you don't have to worry about losing your job and income. I think most places are happy to have the help and you have many good days to give. Good for you! This is a real positive thing to do :)
Good job Andrew! You really are getting out there and fighting all your insecurities to help others. It will definitely come back around and help you as well. I'm interested to see where you are able to help at the hospital, how fun!
I'm happy to see that you are trying something different. You are pushing the envelope and will grow because of it.
I've always thought you could do something musical since that was your background. Do you play an instrument? or is it vocal?
Oh Andrew!! I was just delighted to get here and find this good news to read! I have talked and talked to my daughter about volunteering, and how good it makes one feel to be helping others out. If I didn't have to work, I would certainly be volunteering! I'm so excited about the new opportunties for friends and socialization that you're creating. I know that walking into a new AA meeting takes a great deal of courage, I'm also betting that you'll be made to feel welcome. Way to go Andrew - pushing boundaries in upward directions... you inspire me to do more of the same!
The heartfelt responses are inspiring, and uplifting. Surrounding yourself with this positive energy will yeild positive energy FROM you! How absolutely spectacular! I join the others, in pride and awe!
B~
Andrew, I am sooo happy to read how this is helping you. HUGS!
You simply amaze me! You have far more courage than I do. It took me two months to make my first phone call to someone in the Catholic Church when I was considering joining. I'm very proud of you my friend!
*CHEERS* Wow! You sure are taking life and making the most of it. You are becoming an example to be followed by many who suffer from social anxiety!
Post a Comment