"Big S has a life," I told myself as I feverishly walked through my neighborhood a moment ago. "He has 'friends' and people to hang with."
Grass always greener... The story of my life.
I was walking to walk off a panic attack. I have found that to be the best means to stave one off. I am still struggling with those damned things. I fear my body is falling apart.
You could become a drunk again. You could rekindle the friendship with George.
"Nah," I thought. "That would make the panic attacks worse."
Be the best you can be at AA. Go to every meeting. Meet people. Get out and mingle. Become a pillar of the community.
Now that was starting to sound more pleasant and doable. I would like that. If only I could get over my social anxieties.
I arrived home and my mind was racing 3 miles a minute with such thoughts. There has got to be something fruitful to expend this life doing. I think I am just going to go get in the bed and lay there for the rest of the day.
4 comments:
Social anxiety sucks! I know exactly what you mean. I say the same things over and over to myself. (My shrink works hard for her money)
But I know for me it is baby steps. Something new everyday - even if it is just saying hello to someone new.
You are doing well, keep it up.
I wish I could motivate myself to walk like that. I hate doing it by myself. I think it's great that you have a way with coping with the anxiety in a healthy manner!
C.A.
First off I can just speak for me but am sure that others of us blogger buddies do not get pissed at you or us at others when someone is having a bad day. We ALL have bad days even people who do not struggle with mental illnesses! I have been having more panic attacks myself lately. I try to remember that April tends to be a hard month due to lots of issues....bipolar people tend to have it worse in April...plus I have some bad memories in April...so as someone else said that I need to do and encourage you to take baby steps when and if you need to do so. I am glad that your mom and you had a good time togther.i really should drink more water and less pop and you encouraged me to do that when you wrote about it. I hope that you are taking great care of yourself. I think it would help me if I could take walks but since I cannot do it sometimes it helps me to just get out on my patio with Gracie just for a change. Please continue to write when you want to even if it is a bad day....remember your bloger buddies care good days and bad days happy and sad and even mad days.........
I am your friend.
neither here there near or far!
Baked Apple pie! :)
Always,
Elizabeth
Cheryl is a beautiful friend to forward that thing, she is truly genuine to me. :)
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