I awoke uncommonly early this morning. Maggie and me were embroiled in a tug of war over bed real estate. I would move her over to the edge of the bed only to awake an hour later with her hogging the whole bed again. She finally retired to the couch, but I was up.
Talked to Rosa again last night. I am not getting my hopes up, but it looks promising about us getting back together. I was careful to keep the conversation to mainly about her and not me and my unorthodox life. The situation between me and my father drives her crazy, and I don't blame her. I am 36 years old and should be more independent. I kind of happen to like my life lately and so I don't complain. This infuriates her even more.
Last night, I went to my first AA meeting in awhile. It was a speakers meeting and I was unimpressed. The speaker we had was disjointed and nervous. Phillip, the local patriarch, was glad to see me though.
"I know your sober and miserable," he told me.
I was like ???.
"We see a lot of sober people who are not working their programs and are faltering."
I didn't argue and played stupid and cheerful. That is going to be my new modus operandi: stupid and cheerful.
This morning I am jonesing for more Benadryl. Dad will leave for work at 8:45 AM. I will drive over to ask Mom for two dollars. That will buy me a 48 pill pack at Fred's down the street from my parent's house. I know I shouldn't take so much, but that is the one thing I have found that calms my nerves and makes me feel comfortable. Some people have coffee, others have alcohol, I have my Soma errr Benadryl.
11 comments:
I think Phillip was a little presumptuous. Maybe you're not the norm? Aren't you glad you're not miserable?
Hope your Monday is a great one! What's on the agenda?
The overuse of Benadryl will cause it not to work eventually. I would take it easy.
ROFL...I love it when people give unsolicited advice or opinions about how you are or what you should do Andrew. It just slays me. 'I know you are (insert presumptuous adjective) or "if it were me, I'd (whatever the persons expert opinion is). No one knows how you are but you, and it's NOT them who's making the decisions about what you should or shouldn't do. I'm still laughing. People are so harsh sometimes.
From what I'm reading, you don't seem to be miserable at all...and this is a very good thing. :)
Have a wonderful Monday.
Maggie the bed hog! How cute! How can such a tiny beast move a grown man? LOL
sharyna
Sir:
Please be careful about the benadryl. I suspect there may be a link between withdrawal from the high dosage of benadryl you are consuming and the development of your panic attacks.
PipeTobacco
Pipe, that is a good point about the Benadryl. I never thought of it, but it's a good possibility.
Honestly, I'm glad that guy is a mind-reader. So are you now sober and miserable? lol
My doxie is a bed-hog too and he may be small but he is (to quote my old vet) built like a tank!
Phillip, wow. He should get his own psychic show. Does he not think you can be sober and happy??
You know I love you. Be care with the benedryl, ok?
mo--stupid and cheerful-- i like it :))
i spose i wouldn't if i thought you were serious.. cuz we all know you aren't stupid.
take it easy and have a good night--
You see that's what AA is about. They tell you the truth as they see it. They don't come to your blog to pat you on your back and blow smoke up your butt, like some of your regulars do.
You have an unhealthy dependence on benadryl. Quote: "This morning I am jonesing for more Benadryl."
I saw this today and hope it helps you.
"Every morning when I take my pills I think about how my day is going to be so much more productive and well-balanced because of them and it helps alleviate any qualms I have. The truth is that I’m so thankful to have a way to balance out my brain chemicals. Time spent wishing I didn’t have to take meds is time wasted."
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