I’ve written some pretty controversial stuff lately, and this elicits a lot of caring and interesting advice from some of my caring friends who read. It also elicits some vile vitriol from some of my less caring readers. Yesterday, I took a break from comments. I just didn’t read, but listened with interest as the “You’ve Got Mail!” messages occurred throughout the day. I did read all the comments this morning when I was in a better frame of mind to let them all soak in so to speak. It always fascinates me what others think of me or what advice they give. I do appreciate it very much. It’s like grist for the mill and gets me to thinking.
Most days, I don’t take anything personally. I find it an interesting study in human nature of some of the more vitriolic anonymous comments. The main goal is to cause me pain, and it is interesting that someone out there found my daily journal and made it a part of their lives to cause another human being distress on purpose. If they distressed me, then I would go back to blogger only comments. Moderation is a joke. Moderation is a way to save face. You still have to read the comments to moderate them, thus defeating the purpose of never reading all that crap.
Well, anyways, I am going to get back to responding to comments today. It actually takes a lot of work to do. And it keeps me tied to this computer. I have to take them piecemeal or I wouldn’t do it. As the emails come in, I have take one comment at a time or I would get overwhelmed. But I want to give back to my readers, and some of you mean so very much to me and have been with me for years. I am also TERRIBLE at email and my friend Liz is the only person I can seem to keep up a viable email exchange with. Comments is my way of communicating so back to communicating it is.
The State of Smokeville…
Dad gave me a rare compliment last night.
“You’re cigarette consumption has been cut in half,” he told me, thanking me.
Dad personally pays for my cigarettes to help conserve my disability allotment. He has been ordering them wholesale using his business license through the pharmacy. He took this on himself. I would rather pay for the cigarettes out of my own money as this just further complicates our often tumultuous relationship.
“I smoke only one cigarette every thirty minutes,” I replied proudly. “It makes a pack last ten hours.”
At one point, I was smoking three packs a day. I chained smoked – one after another. It was extremely frivolous and overboard – just another symptom of my obsessive compulsive nature. Now? I watch that clock! LOL I savor every cigarette as it only comes twice an hour, but it makes smoking so much more pleasurable. I like to think of myself as being part of a noble cause to save money and expense. It reminds me of the monks in the monasteries that would live austere lives to bring them closer to Christ and God. My lessened smoking brings me closer to my father.
12 comments:
hello. I just read your last comment and i don't know if i just like to feel included or what but i thought i'd write a little something as i haven't commented on your blog in a while, i'm a little annoyed that there are people out there who would be mean just for the sake of it. that sort of thing just sucks and people should act better than that.
I like your blog i think it's quirky and people that say different have no right. Good luck with the blog.
Thank you Jopan. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. Mean people are out there. Just like the bullys on the playground in middle school, they exist. My dad always taught me to punch back so maybe that's is what I will do. I could install some stuff on the blog to get their IP address and ISP, etc. It could make things interesting.
I love reading your daily posts Andrew, your outings with Maggie and the interesting exchange between you and your parents. For those who don't have parents it is a blessings to see some who care so deeply.
Take care, enjoy the day, and smile!!
Leann,
I always smile when I get a comment from you! :-) We lead some interesting lives don't we? LOL You all must think we are just nuts as hell. I guess we are. hehe
Thank you for your honesty about dealing with your illness, addiction, and your parents. My daughter is schizophrenic and a recovering addict, and we are still working to get her meds right and to get disability for her. Your blog helps me understand so much, and it gives me hope for her. Keep writing. You do an awesome job.
Beth,
Thank you for reading and for being there for your daughter. I know having a family member past addiction issues and mental illnesses can be trying at times. I know I have been trying to my parents as well. Let me know if you ever need help with anything.
Sincerely,
Andrew
HI Andrew
I hope that you have a good day. I was chatty again this morning in an email. I have been nervous with the snow and not getting out. God is good and I am praying . IT is good to have friends like you who understand when days are rough and when they are wonderful, today is a rough one but i did get a smile with the picture of maggie. i have a feeling that i will be emailing people lots today. tonight i will watch tv, my case manager did not come today due to the roads. i am hoping that the roads are clear enoght that andy can go to the store. i will feel better when he gets here and i know what he is thinking about going to the store. i know i encourage you to ignore the not nice comments about things that people pick on you for. just remember you have quite a few friends who care and get where you are at. take good care today. i might email you again later on the way my day is going. liz
Liz,
You email me anytime you need a friend to vent to. You know that. I'll trade you some of this rain for half your snow! hehe. We're having such boring weather at the moment. I know the bad days. I have them quite often. I just don't write about them. So I understand. Take care of yourself today. I wished I lived closer as I have 4 wheel drive on my car and could get to you. We would ride around in the snow and laugh and talk till you felt better.
Your friend,
Andrew
Ya know, when it comes to commenting on someone's blog I think it's always best to go with that old advice of if you can't say something nice then just don't say anything at all. Think how much nicer our daily lives would be if everyone in the world would just think before they speak (or type) and ask themselves if they would like to be the recipient of whatever it is they are about to say.
But, humans being what they are, most will never learn to just shut up.
It makes me sad that someone (anonymous) will go out of their way to say horrible and hurtful things. I really believe people like that are very sad in their own existence and they lash out at other people because of it. They need someone to beat up and unfortunately for this person its you, probably not only you though, they probably have others they lash out at as well. Anyway, I love your blog Andrew, many do. Poo poo the anonymous!! LOL!! :)
I always enjoy reading your blog, you are a very creative and inspirational writer, I don't ever see anything you write as controversial, but I guess there are those out there who enjoy nothing more then to stalk & bully other people.
Hugs Maire
You have a particularly ugly anon commenter. I'm glad though, that you realize it's some people's mission in life to try and make others as miserable as they are. I like that you are able to let it roll of your back.
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