Far Out! Man!

For the most part, my medications are mostly benign. I’ve built up a tolerance to them over the years where they don’t effect me nearly as harshly as they used to do. Every now and then they will knock my socks off, though. I forth went lunch and took my medications on an empty stomach at noon. An hour rolled around and the room started to spin. I had this sense of giddiness and a fuzzy feeling in my head. I reclined in my Laz-E-Boy and felt like I was just going to completely melt into my chair. I love to feel extraordinary in a good way like I did today. That’s why I liked to drink all those years I was an alcoholic. I was just trying to feel better. Oh god, could I be a miserable little wretch at times. Get a six pack of Schlitz malt liquor in me and I was smiling. I realized now all these years later that I was just self medicating with alcohol instead of taking prescribed medications. So, here, I raise a pill bottle to you and say cheers!

Cheap Date…

I only spent $51 dollars on groceries tonight. I had so much food leftover from last week. Most of tonight's expenditures was breakfast foods and laundry detergent and softener.

“You sure you have enough?” my father asked cautiously.

“I will be fine,” I reassured my father.

Commercials do work and my only impulse buy was some French style yogurt called Qui. I keep seeing their commercials on TV and decided to give them a try.

A New Day Dawned…

Maggie and I had to make do with Kraft singles cheese toast this morning. It was almost laughable. I had run out of cheddar. We are going tonight after Janice’s birthday party to buy groceries.

“Can you do both?” Dad asked worriedly about me.

“We are going to give it the good college try,” I replied to him.

“My Apple TV keeps messing up,” Dad told me. “Could you come look at it? It is driving me crazy! Halfway through a show it will cutout.”

I headed to my father’s house after a spat of summer rain ended.

“I think we need a new wireless router,” dad said. “It keeps saying the signal is weak or no signal.”

“Let me think and get my bearings,” I told my father.

It then malfunctioned as I was watching The Crown and I knew exactly what it was.

“It’s your cheap GE HDMI cable,” I told me father.

I switched out the HDMI cable and things have worked swimmingly for the rest of the afternoon. Dad was just lavishing me with praise he was so overjoyed. He called me a genius. He watches Apple TV and Netflix more than he does regular cable these days.

Groceries or No?

I am trying to decide whether to go grocery shopping tonight. I haven’t felt well today – that old mental illness gremlin in the works. I didn’t go last night because it was pouring down rain and downright dreary. I felt so uncomfortable at one point today that I broke down and cried. You know? A good cry can work wonders even for a big old husky guy like me. Maggie came rushing over to me on the couch at this event she has seldom seen. “What’s wrong?” she seemed to impart. She hasn’t left laying by my feet since late this afternoon. It’s a wonder what dogs know. 

My father is going to be very, very forceful about me going tonight. He is worried I am almost out of food. I haven’t had much of an appetite lately. I have plenty to eat except for breakfast foods – plenty of salami, cheese, and bread. I have a whole box of Lance cheese on wheat crackers that haven’t been eaten and some peanut butter with honey as well. That always tastes delicious on crackers which I have a box of Townhouse.

“We need to stay on schedule,” he will tell me. “When you get off schedule is when you get in trouble.”

I am hoping he will be tired from working 10 hours at the pharmacy and will give in easily, or he may not wish to have to go on his day off tomorrow. Who knows? I certainly want to take my nightly meds and go to bed early.

EDIT: No groceries. Dad said we will just go tomorrow night. Whew! I was sweating for a moment there not able to go. I also got invited to Janice’s birthday. We are going to the Honky Tonk tomorrow night for steaks. I will certainly think about it.

June’s $100 Computer Part Order…

Acer G7 Series G227HQLAbi Black 21.5" IPS 4ms (GTG) Black Widescreen LED/LCD Monitor 1920x1080 FHD, Slim Frame Design, w/ Acer CrystalBrite technology, Visual Comfortable, w/ D-sub & HDMI Connectivity

Rosewill RC-6-HDM-MM-BK-3 6 ft. Black High Speed HDMI Cable Male to Male

Alberto is Scooting On Out of Here Now…

It’s Commonly Referred to as Small Talk…

Rebecca, my nurse, has singlehandedly made me adept at small talk – something that used to escape my grasp.

“It sure is breezy outside with some pretty wild gusts,” I said to Rebecca as she prepared my injection this morning. “Courtesy of Alberto.”

“I know!” Rebecca replied. “I hope we don’t have another storm during my vacation in two weeks.”

“Today is the 8th day in a row I have gotten up early for me and taken a shower. Everything else is just icing on the cake. Then I fix Maggie and me a big breakfast.”

“Well good for you! Routines are important. I fix the kids breakfast, but I rarely eat breakfast these days,” Rebecca told me. “I pack myself a lunch for work in a cooler and I cook a big supper every night for when the hubby gets home. He likes everything fried.”

I chuckled about the fried part.

“Are you ready?” Rebecca said as she turned around with my injection.

“Ready as I will ever be,” I replied pulling up my shirt and pulling down my pants to the side showing only the bare necessities.

“You smell like apples,” Rebecca said as she was injecting the Risperdal.

“It’s my shampoo,” I replied.

“Well, it sure smells good and you are all done for another two weeks.”

I excitedly thanked Rebecca and headed to the front office to get my next appointment card. Old Fuss and Feathers was waiting on me back at the pharmacy.

“That was extra quick,” he remarked.

“I didn’t even have to sign in,” I told him. “Rebecca was waiting on me at the door to the lobby.”

Comment Replies…

Summer said...

Did your father give you your mother's car?

Andrew Replies…

No, Summer, he hasn’t. I’ve given up all hopes of ever getting that car. It is getting the title in my name that is holding us back. I will just have to make do with my ageing CR-V.

Brain Dead or Battery Dead?

Meathead Part I…

I’ve made it a point to check my brake lights when I get out of the car. Sometimes, they get stuck on and I have to pump the brake peddle to get them to go off. Well, yesterday I was complacent and forget to check them. They haven’t gotten stuck on in ages.

“Your brake lights are on,” Charlie said as he was leaving my house last night.

It was too late. The battery was dead. Charlie showed up this morning bright and early to help me jump off my battery. Within seconds we had my car running again.

“Take it for a looonnnggg drive!” Charlie told me.

The only caveat is that it was about to start pouring rain. We’ve got tropical storm Alberto visiting for a few days.

“Ah, what the hell,” I said. “We will just have to brave Mother Nature.”

And yes, it started to pour as soon as I left my neighborhood.

Meathead Part II…

Well, I left the brakes lights on again tonight and this time Old Fuss and Feathers came to my rescue.

“Are you sure you battery or alternator aren’t going out?” Papa asked.

“I’m sure,” I replied. “It is the brakes lights.”

As soon as I connected my battery to Papa’s battery, my brake lights came on and shined brightly.

“We’ve got to get that seen about,” Papa said aggravated. “We can’t keep jumping your battery off.”

A Swim and a Soiree…

Dad had all the grandkids today. I drove over to his house to see them and to meet and greet. They are all growing leaps and bounds. Lilly is as tall as I am now at the tender age of 14. They were amazed at my knowledge of current video games to be a crusty 46 year old fellow.

“How you ever played Morrowind Online?” my nephew asked me.

“Yes, and I was playing Skyrim, its predecessor, this morning,” I replied.

“Cool!” he said excitedly.

They were soon all gathered around my niece's IPad Pro to watch a video of someone playing a video game.

“What would I do without Wi-Fi?” my father said quietly to me and he clasped his hands as if in prayer.

They soon left to go swimming in Pine Mountain, Georgia and I headed home. The last I looked their heads were all buried in their phones.

Charlie was the bringer of the fried chicken Sunday supper tonight.

“I’ve never seen KFC so quiet,” Charlie told me looking amazed. “Usually, it is a madhouse. I thought it was closed at first.”

Charlie didn’t stay long. Just long enough to get Maggie all excited and rambunctious. Maggie sure does love her Charlie and I do, too.

Severe Thunderstorms From Last Night...

Me, Papa, and the White Truck…

Dad called me last evening and said, “Let’s go get me a TV”. Dad picked me up in his and Charlie's white truck and we headed for Walmart.

“Are you sure you can put it together?” my father asked cautiously as he drove.

“I'll have it up and running in twenty minutes top,” I proudly replied back. “I had no problem getting Charlie's TV up and running within minutes.”

Well, dad really surprised me when he bought a Samsung 55 inch 4K television.

“What does 4K mean?” he asked me on the ride back to Casa de Papa.

“That is Ultra High Definition,” I replied. “You will have to call WOW! and order additional service to be able to use it. WOW! calls it their Ultra service.”

I had dad’s TV up and running in no time. You should’ve seen how proud he was to have a working television again.

“Look at that picture,” he said. “I didn’t know what I was missing.”

I even got him hooked up to the internet wirelessly. I was amazed he knew his router’s password. He had all his passwords written down in a little notebook. Dad later told me that was my brother’s idea stealing some of his own limelight. 

Charlie was deeply sad last night, but he wasn’t about to miss the unveiling of my father’s television. He came walking in the house about 9 PM to see what was going on. I already had the television working. Charlie swore dad’s 55 inch looked better than the 65 inch TV he bought. That's just like Charlie to say so.

A Windfall of Bad News…

“My TV is not working,” dad told me over his cellphone. “I am fixing to drive out to WOW! office and get another cable box. Will you hook it up for me?”

My father is addicted to his television and all of this sent him into a frenzied stir. He had been without TV since last night. It is kind of like a crack addict on the prowl for another fix.

“Let me get a hot shower and I will be over there at one,” I told him.

So, I scrubbed clean all my dangly bits and shampooed my hair. Soon, I was on the way to my father’s house armed with a spare HDMI cable thinking that was what was wrong.

“I hate to tell you this,” I told my father after he had been on the phone with WOW! for thirty minutes. “But it is your TV and not the cable box. The TV won’t even come on. You should still be able to watch Netflix or Blu-ray discs even if the cable box is broken.”

Dad frowned, looked exasperated, and said he would call and get Charlie to get him a new TV tonight on his way home from work.

“Will you come and hook it up?”

“Just call me when the TV gets there,” I told my father. “Let’s try to make it before eleven, though.”

Horror of Horrors…

As I was leaving my father’s house, I saw something white stuck under Charlie’s garage door on the house he owns next to my father. I walked up the bank to the driveway and it was Felix, Charlie’s and Janice's cat. The garage door had been shut upon him and killed him. I called my father not knowing what to do and he said he would call Charlie and take care of it. It made us all sick at our stomachs. Felix was such a good and personable cat. I know Charlie and Janice will both cry over this unfortunate bit of news. Don’t think a tear didn’t erupt at the corner of my eye as well. I hate I had to be the harbinger of such bad news today.

Comment Reply…

Sharyn Bellah said...

Do you still take Maggie on her walks? Remember how she looked forward to them? I miss routines and am having a really hard time right now finding things to fill my days. When you aren't blogging, waiting for dad, or sleeping; what the heck do you do?

Andrew Replies…

I have the same feeling too sometimes so you are not alone. Sometimes, I think there is no purpose to life. I would probably feel differently if I had a wife and kids to support, feed, and send to school. I’d have to leave them some sort of legacy.

Maggie and I will walk around the block once or twice a week depending on my mood. Maggie still goes bananas every time I get the leash and harness out of the closet.

I have a pretty regimented life. My big morning task is to cook Maggie and I a big, hot, stomach filling breakfast. Then I usually get a long shower. Then comes online life, computer gaming, and music time. I listen to hours of music everyday while I am on the computer. I will admit that sitting in front of the computer so much gets tiresome and old, though.

Lately, on dad’s days off, I go over about 1 PM and watch that blowhard Dr. Phil with him. He will fix us a sandwich or something similar to eat. I drive home and take a one to two hour nap in the afternoon then I get up and have more music, gaming, and computer time.

By night fall, I am worn out most nights with the effects of my heavy hitting medications from lunch starting to wane and wear off. I will feel just about exhausted. I goof off some on the computer and then see what show is on PBS that night. I play with my new tablet computer while I watch a show on Public Broadcasting. I am a sucker for a good British drama on PBS. Then I usually hit the bed around eleven.

Turkey Buzzards in My Front Yard…

All of this over a single roadkill squirrel…

Happy Neighbors Again…

George was sitting out on his carport with nothing but a pair of shorts on. He was making use of this pleasant and mild day. It really has been a beautiful day. I had just gotten back from my father’s house to pick up some homemade egg salad.

“I can’t hear your music anymore,” George said with a grin. “Thank you. I am actually pretty hard of hearing.”

“Gosh,” I thought to myself. “I must’ve been really loud.”

“Do you stay up nights?” George then asked me.

“Actually, I am sleeping from eleven to around eight or nine in the morning at the moment,” I told George.

George said he goes to bed at nine and gets up at six in the morning.

I just left it at that and didn’t ask why he wanted to know. It maybe because I keep a lamp burning in every room at night due to rat trauma.

I saw Charles, the pest control guy, at dad’s when I was over there. He was spraying the house precautionarily for bugs. I asked him to come and put out some more bait bags. He said he would gladly swing by my house the first of next week.

Quiet Time and Hiding Out…

It’s traditional on my father’s day off that I call him around noon. We spend about 30 minutes laughing and talking about yesterday and today. I tried to call and he has his phone off. I got kicked straight into voicemail. I get the hint. He has to be tired after all the work he’s done lately. He basically worked 4 full 10 hour days in a row last week. I have to remind myself he’s no spring chicken anymore and must be exhausted. I will just wait until he calls me. It will itch at him to know if I have taken my noon medications.

In the meantime, I am about to take a shower and head down to the tracks for a few hours. Let’s see if a few trains will pass. It is the first day in days it is not raining buckets. We’re waterlogged here in the Chattahoochee Valley. I need to run by the river house and see how high the water is.

Itchy Scalp! Scratch! Scratch! Scratch!

“I’m probably going to spend over $100 dollars tonight,” I warned my father as we walked into Kroger tonight. “I need a mop, lots of cleaning supplies, paper plates and bowls, dandruff shampoo, and deodorant.”

“Let me get a buggy and pay for those items and you just pay for your food,” dad replied.

I gave my father a heartfelt thank you. It was worrying me to no end. I didn’t quite know how to tell him until it all blurted out.

“You’re heading in the wrong direction,” my father said at one point. “Where are you going?”

“I got turkey pepperoni by accident and that is just a travesty.”

“Don’t forget your journal writing sodas,” my father said as we both stood in line to checkout.

I grabbed two Baja Blast sodas tonight (my favorite soda). We were quickly rung up and headed out the door. I had to play bagboy tonight and handled that task with aplomb.

I still managed to spend $82 dollars on food, but dad was kind and didn’t say anything about it. $75 is supposed to be my new limit. Inflation, you know?

Comment Reply…

Jane said...

Isn't your dad gay?
I could have sworn you said he's
gay. No?

Andrew Replies…

Nothing is for certain, Jane. Bisexual could be an option. My ex-wife swore he was gay. My mother said for years that he and Charlie were gay lovers as they spent so much time together. She’d say it when she got really mad at my father. I always had my doubts as well. These later years, I have come to believe he is heterosexual just from the way he admires women when we are out and about. He has also expounded upon the sexual relationship he had with my mother in moments of candidness.

Big Dog is in the House…

Dad called me when the pharmacy closed and said he was going to have to take a raincheck on getting groceries last night. I got to hoping he was going to let me go solo, but alas, no go for last night. “You’re not ready for that yet”. He had a dinner date with an old classmate of his named Liz. I know Liz well and she is a very sweet lady. She is also eligible being a widow. I told my father months back that they would make a good couple. Maybe that’s why he has been going to Auburn so much lately as that is where she lives. 

Charlie stopped by last night for a short time just to see what I was doing. He brought me two regular leaded Coca-Colas and spent some time with the Magster.

“Yes, you are my pretty girl,” Charlie said over and over in baby talk to Maggie.

Maggie got to “talking” back. I love it when she does that.

It wasn’t mission critical last night. I had plenty of food except for breakfast foods. The only thing that miffed me was that I was all showered up and dressed nice last night. My father would have extremely approved. He’s always critiquing what I wear. I was all dressed up with nowhere to go is what I told Charlie. Charlie offered to take me grocery shopping last night, but I couldn’t let him go to all that trouble. That’s just the kind of guy he is. I was just glad and pleased as a peach to get the Cokes.

Yes, I am Behind the Times…

I thought Adele’s voice would get on my nerves (I felt the same way about Norah Jones). My sister urged me last night to give her a try. I love that song He Won’t Go off her album 21. I am warming up to her. I also told my sister to check out an Icelandic band called Sigur Ros.

“Search for them in YouTube,” I said.

My sister and I have almost identical tastes in music. I got her tuned into Kenny Rankin and now she owns every album he has ever produced.

Grumpy Old Meanie…

I got caught by George heading to my car this morning.

“You must have a stereo by your porch door,” he gruffly said to me with inquisition.

“I have a computer right by that door,” I replied.

“I just hear your music from time to time,” George said.

“Why? Is it obnoxious?” I asked, wondering where this was going.

“Sometimes the bass can be kind of loud when I am out smoking a cigarette,” George told me.

My natural reaction was to get a little defensive and on guard.

“I’ll try to keep the bass down,” I replied.

I will endeavor to keep the volume down. I will admit that I can get kind of loud at times.

I then headed to Old Fuss and Feather’s house to pick up some cough syrup and cough drops. Dad is worried about my hacking cough I’ve developed the past few days. I tried to explain to him it was my smoking. I will have been smoking 30 years this year. I started when I was 16 years old.

The Dynamic Duo Ride Again…

I’ve gotten to where I call them The Lone Ranger and Tonto.

“Your daddy has had some wine!” Charlie barked at me walking in the door this evening.

“So that explains why you are driving his car,” I replied gratefully.

My father was acting all silly bantering and joking. He was feeling his oats. At least, he is a happy drunk and not a tear in your beer type of drunk.

“They only had one chicken pot pie so I got Maggie the chicken strips,” Charlie told me.

Charlie left us to go refill Maggie’s water bowl and to check for trash.

“I love you, son!” Old Fuss and Feathers then told me. “I love ya and I love ya some more.”

He embraced me in an awkward hug as I was sitting next to him. .

As soon as he finished with that outburst, he wanted me to tune the television to The Weather Channel. There may be some storms and rain headed our way south from Atlanta.

“They will fizzle out,” I said. “I would almost bet on it.”

“I got my fertilizer out and it rained!” a proud Papa said and then broke out in goofy laughter.

“We need to be smoking whatever he’s smoking,” Charlie said with a smile as he reentered the den. “Come on Johnny Otis. Let’s get you home and get some chicken in you.”

Hamburguesas y Medicamentos…

“If you bring your medications for me to check, then I will give you some grilled hamburgers from last night,” my father said.

He wanted to check and see if I am on schedule and no blister packs have been punched when they weren’t supposed to be.

“Let me take a shower first,” I told him.

About an hour later, I was heading to my father’s house bribed by the prospect of homemade grilled hamburgers.  He surveyed my medications and couldn’t find anything wrong. He always assumes the worst regarding them and I. He’s afraid I will open up additional blister packs and get “high” off the Klonopin.  Let me tell you, Klonopin is the crapiest high I have experienced over the years. All you do is want to go to sleep.

“Oh, you look so good!” my father then said finally noticing my carefully combed hair and my upscale attire. “You need to quit wearing all those sloppy looking t-shirts with your shorts!”

Dad bagged up three meat patties and three hamburger buns and sent me on my way.

The Hair-Do…

“I’m running late this morning cause I had to do my hair,” Charlie told me as Maggie and I stood at the front door this Sunday morning.

Maggie was joyously barking her fool head off and I was having trouble hearing what Charlie was saying.

“It looks really, really good,” I replied honestly over Maggie’s din.

“I got you a monstrous diet Coke as requested,” Charlie told me.

“Thank you dear sir,” I replied to Charlie, anxious to take a drink.

Just then, a very big gust of wind sent Charlie’s hair wildly flying. I couldn’t help it and got to laughing. I am not going to write what spewed forth from Charlie’s mouth. God be damned this Sunday morning. Even copious amounts of hairspray couldn’t stop this onslaught. Charlie walked back to his car dejected and trying to get his hair back in place. I heard him cuss one more time as he got in his car.  “Fiddlesticks!”

Comment Reply…

Kran's Crackers said...

A little at a time is the best way to do things. When my husband died I made up my mind to do at least two things a day, and one of them is to get up, washed and dressed. Then anything else I do is progress. I find one thing leads to another and if I don't finish everything I want to do that day...so what? It will still be there tomorrow. You'll be surprised just how much can be done a little at a time, and you don't beat yourself up over what doesn't get done.
- Sharon -

Andrew Replies…

Sharon, thank you for this comment yesterday. It really bolsters what I am trying to do. I, too, have to make myself get cleaned up in the morning with a shower and shave. Also clean clothes even though I probably won’t get any visitors. I try not to stay in my pajamas all day. The rest is the icing on the cake. Thank you once again. You’ve been a good friend.

Surprise! It’s Charlie!

My father had to work all day and had told me he was stopping by tonight to see me and the Mags. Maggie and I were in our respective places waiting for him to arrive when this strange car pulled up. I didn’t recognize it at first until I realized it was Janice’s Altima. Maggie and I rushed to the door when I exclaimed, “Charlie’s Here!”

“Just what in the hell are you two doing?” Charlie asked facetiously.

“We are watching out for riff raff like you in our yard,” I replied.

Charlie was laughing jovially as I let him through the door. He was carrying two leaded regular Cokes and a cup of ice for me. Charlie does spoil me at times.

“Your daddy said you’ve been cleaning so I wanted to see what you have done,” Charlie told me. ”He had to go do something with the grandkids after work.”

“Well, today I washed all my clothes and hung them up in the laundry room,” I showed Charlie. “I also washed and dried Maggie’s food and water towel. It was looking worse for wear.”

“That’s a shitload of laundry you got hung up!” Charlie exclaimed. “You did that all today?”

“All today,” I replied proudly.

“Well, I’ve got to take The Fly bowling,” Charlie said. “I bet he is getting anxious sitting in the car. Love you, Jon-Tom.”

I told Charlie I loved him back and Charlie headed to Valley Bowl.

I didn’t expound upon that I showed him my sink and stove top as well.

“I cleaned the sink to the best of my ability,” I told Charlie and he got a big kick out of that line
“best of my ability”.

I also cleaned the toilet today as well and some of the mess the rats have made under my kitchen sink. I cleaned in little spurts taking time for the computer and then getting up to clean for a little while.

Progress Not Perfection…

I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of guy. It’s my Achilles heel. If I can’t do it to perfection, then I won’t do it at all. I drank beer the same way. Earlier in the week, I started a new game plan called progress not perfection. This has gotten Old Fuss and Feathers very excited. I am doing one or two things a day to clean my house and get my clothes in order. Yesterday, I polished my glass top stove and scrubbed my kitchen sinks. Today, I plan on doing a load of laundry and hanging up all my clothes when they are finished drying and not letting them linger in the dryer. Tomorrow, I am mopping the tile bathroom and hall floors. We will tackle the kitchen floor at a later date. See? Progress not perfection…

The Itchy and Scratchy Show…

Maggie sure has been itchy and scratchy lately. I gave the pups her flea medications on the 15th. I just got down on the floor with her and carefully looked and combed for fleas, but couldn’t find not one. It is almost like a rash as her back, the source of contention, feels very warm and feverish. She will come in the computer room every thirty minutes to an hour for a back scratch. You should see her. She is in sheer ecstasy and she can kick that back leg with the best of them. It is kind of like playing the air guitar.

Independence? A Year Away?

The big hoopla around here today was that my father got his lawns fertilized and then it rained as he had hoped and planned. He has called me three times tonight elated at talking about it.

“Where do you see me in the year or so?” I asked my father late this afternoon during a serious moment on the phone.

“I see you financially independent,” he replied. “I am already started to move more that way. Notice the freedoms I’ve given you lately? I am just getting too old to keep up with two households.”

I sat there soaking all this in with much food for thought.

“Do you realize you bring home more money than the girls at the pharmacy do working?” dad told me. “Sandra has two kids and supports herself on what she makes as a pharmacy technician.”

All of this straight and honest talk was intriguing me. Dad has always traditionally hidden my finances from me.

“Now, I’ve got you some money saved up so don’t you go blow it all on those damnable computers,” he told me as we were getting off the phone. 

I promised him I wouldn’t and we said goodnight. I also wondered to myself how many glasses of wine he had for the evening.

Joy in a Box…

Yippee! My first order of monthly computer parts came today. I was sitting in dad’s den and asked him if he had heard UPS arrive.

“I think there is a package at the front door,” my father said wide-eyed at the look on my face.

I hurried up front, opened the door, and there was a much coveted Newegg box. I came straight home to install my two new Ergonomic 4000 keyboards.

The Changing of the Guard…

Well, just like that I am now in control of the Cokes and my cigarettes. I just drove over to get them and my father hit me with the good and somewhat perplexing news.

“I am going to give you a 12 pack of diet Cokes and a carton of cigarettes and you’ve got to make them last for the week,” Old Fuss and Feathers told me. “You can’t come back asking for more.”

“What brought this about?” I asked my father warily.

“I just feel you’re ready for the responsibility,” he told me. “You’ve been doing so well lately.”

I was flabbergasted. This is such a big step for me and my father as well. He’s been bringing them by the house or I would go pick them up for many years now.

“Are you still going to stop by and see me and Maggie sometimes?” I asked him.

“I sure will,” my father replied. “I’ll come by on the nights I work.”

“You know how Maggie loves you and Charlie.”

Comment Replies…

glittermom said...

Are you cool as a cucumber?

Andrew Replies…

Yes, that is a very, very good way to put it. I slept like a baby last night at 72 degrees. No sweaty sheets. No obnoxiously loud blowing box fans. Just the quiet hiss of the air conditioner.  I got up one time during the night to use the bathroom and turned it down to 70 degrees just for the hell of it.

The Magster is enjoying it immensely as well. I didn’t realize it, but keeping the house open all the time made her feel insecure as she felt the need to “police” the house for interlopers and animals. She has slept since yesterday afternoon and is still on the couch sleeping. She’s catching up on some well deserved rest. She’ll be in here about lunch for our regularly scheduled back scratch, though. She’s going to get a can of Vienna sausages in a moment as well. As am I.

Hectic Goes the Morning…

About the time for me to leave for my injection, the HVAC guys and Lopez Landscaping showed up in front of my house both at the same time.

“I’ll be back in 30 minutes,” I told the both of them. “I have a medical procedure that must be taken care of.”

“I left the front door unlocked just please don’t let Maggie out,” I told Tony, the HVAC guy.

Thankfully, the house was presentable.

I quickly locked the dog door, threw on some much nicer clothes, and headed down through the Valley. I also prayed to the gods that be that everything would go smoothly with my injection.

Old Fuss and Feathers was standing at the front of the pharmacy with my injection when I pulled up surveying what I was wearing. He told me my shorts needed ironing. Things were looking up. Rebecca and Trina were waiting on me when I arrived at Kamath Medical as well. That was another notch in my belt.

“Come on back,” Rebecca said, showing her pretty pearly whites and standing at the door to the examining rooms.

She didn’t even give me time to sign in. I smiled, very glad to see her. I told her what all I had going on at the house and she said you poor soul. I laughed. It was a good kind of laugh. Not a nervous laugh. I am just so thankful that these things are getting taken care of. I sweated in my bed last night until the covers were wet and everything in my house is damp from the humidity including me and my clothes. Talk about a bad hair day!

My new air conditioning heat exchanger. Shiny and new!

I Hope Your Sword Strikes Truer Than Mine…

I was up and early this morning at 8 AM. Today is hopefully the big day. I didn’t want to miss the HVAC guys laying in the bed. I scrambled my last three eggs and added the last of my shredded cheddar. I took some buttered toast and made a sandwich out of mine. It sure hit the spot. Tonight is grocery night. It is time to refill my depleted supplies and my cherished breakfast foods. I mustn't forget my cheese on wheat crackers I am so enamored with at the moment.

Maggie sat hungrily on the floor next to me. If she’s not careful, she might get a paw stepped upon. We both ate our breakfasts and I took a short cold shower. It was so chilly in here this morning that I was wearing a jacket to accompany my khaki shorts. It will quickly warm up, though. It is already 85°F outside at this early hour of the day.

“Call me when they get there,” Charlie told me shortly over the phone.

“I sure will Charlie,” I replied, glad he was in on the program.

It is almost 11 PM and they still haven’t arrived. I am starting to lose hope. We are supposed to have big storms every day the whole rest of the week – more of a summertime pattern for the South. I hope they are aware of that fact.

Comment Reply…

Sharyn Bellah said…

Glad you got your air fixed. I am in my own little hell here. Mother's Day is so hard on me. But I needed to connect with someone so I thought of you. It will be ok I'm sure. I hate Hallmark making up stupid holidays that cost money and make those of us without kids, feel like crap. I'm sure you have your favorite too. Plus I miss the women I used to wish Happy Mother's Day to and Miss Martha was certainly one!

Andrew Replies…

I understand completely when it comes to Father’s Day. I’m too old to have children now. Let’s say you can be my surrogate mom so Happy Mother’s Day to you Mom. I missed my mother today and it was hard on me as well. It is hard to believe she is gone. She went so suddenly. One moment she was here and the next hour she was gone. Hang in there. Time heals wounds.

It’s Time For a Little Cool Around Here…

“Tony is coming in the morning to install your air conditioning,” Charlie told me as he handed me a sack of biscuits and a Coke.

“Thank goodness!” I exclaimed to Charlie. “Thank you so much for calling.”

“I told Tony he was going to miss out on a good sale if he didn’t hurry up,” Charlie said. “I was going to get John to get an estimate from somewhere else.”

Charlie was in a hurry today as well and didn’t dawdle. He said goodbye and was headed to my father’s house with the always contentious senior coffee and then home with Janice's and Horsefly’s biscuits. It didn’t stop Maggie from putting on a good show, though, which pleased me.

I couldn’t eat my sausage biscuit this morning so Maggie got two. She was pleased as a peach. I always love it when Charlie brings bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits – such a nice change of pace. I’m first at the dinner plate when he does that.

I Want to Live in the Frozen Tundra of Siberia…

And then I would be bitching about the cold…

“Andrew!” Charlie said jubilantly, walking across the yard to my front door after parking at the curb.

Maggie barked fervently as I stood there to welcome our welcomed visitor inside behind the screened door.

“When are they coming to install your AC?” Charlie asked me setting my food atop the entertainment center as he walked inside. “It is awful warm in here.”

“I don’t know and I don’t think my dear father knows as well,” I replied to Charlie.

“I am going to call Mr. Moore and tell him he needs to hurry up,” Charlie told me. “And I will call your father and tell him when they are going to install it as well.”

I thanked Charlie so much. Charlie is a man of action.

“You don’t have to clean today. I forbid it!” I told Charlie adamantly.

“Well, at least let me take out your trash!” Charlie said, aggravated with me.

Charlie filled up Maggie’s water bowl and took out the very heavy trash bag that was in my trash can. He also couldn’t resist the empty milk jugs atop my refrigerator. He bagged those up and took them with him as well.

The Best Laid Plans Come to Fruition…

Well, my plan worked. It has only gotten up to 80°F in here today despite it being 93°F outside. I’ve also got a box fan blowing on me at the moment and that cool air feels so good. So this is how Mrs. Minnie did it! I will put the fan back in the window after dark fall and the temperatures begin to drop. 

It’s Charlie Time!

I’m trying a little experiment today. We are going to wait on opening up the house until the last minute. Let’s see if that keeps it a little cooler around here. It is 1 PM, 90°F outside, and my thermostat reads 77°F inside. Mrs. Minnie, dad told me last night, lived here for decades without air conditioning. That little old lady must have been made of sterner stuff than I.

Ugg, Maggie just walked by my computer desk and she smells rank like she got into something dead in the backyard. No cuddles today!

**************************************************

“I put your Cokes and smokes on the back porch,” my father told me earlier in the day. “Charlie is stopping by with some supper and a cold Coke on his way to Horsefly’s matinee.”

“Awesome!” I said to my father. “Where are you? It sounds like you’re in a crowd."

“I am at one of the grandkids volleyball games down in Auburn,” my father replied.

“Your supper last night was delicious!” I told my father over the phone. “You know I always love your pork chops and rice. The homemade strawberry shortcake was the icing on the cake.”

“Well, I am glad you enjoyed them,” he said. “I thought they were pretty good myself.”

I hadn’t hung up the phone for 10 minutes when Charlie called.

“Just what do you want for an early supper?” Charlie asked me.

“Just whatever is easiest on you,” I replied.

“Well, I am getting you a Big Mac value meal along with your monster McCoke,” Charlie told me. “I’ll see you around 4 PM Jon-tom.”

Holy Hot Tamales Batman!

Damn, I really hope the HVAC guys show up soon. It is 85°F inside my house and 90°F outside. I’ve got the fan blowing full tilt to little avail. Maggie is laying on the porch trying to stay cool. We’re praying the night comes soon and the temperatures start to drop. It is supposed to drop down to 65°F tonight which will feel almost frigid.

I found my new favorite snack at the convenience store this morning. They are Lance cheddar on whole wheat crackers. They are smashingly delectable. I am sure they’ve got to be better for me being only 180 calories. I bet a bag of powdered donuts is 800 or 900 or maybe even 1000 calories. It has been years since I’ve been able to buy things like this. I am slowly winning back my father’s trust. I just have to be sure to bring him the receipts. We can’t be drinking beer or Southern Comfort now can we?  I am always afraid they are going to be out of receipt paper and can’t print a receipt. What then would I say? Smell my breath?

Powdered and Placated…

<----- A model railroad version of a unit coal train.

The convenience store across the road was helter skelter so I parked at the railroad museum this morning. I walked over and bought a bag of Hostess powdered donuts (my new obsession), a pint of milk, and several sodas. I am working on my own donut and that’s the one around my waist. I ate the whole bag of powdered donuts sitting on my favorite bench. Dad later remarked that my donut consumption was rather obsessive. He’s been more lenient about what I can buy lately which has been nice.

I only saw one train this morning and it was a unit coal train delivering coal to a nearby power plant. Coal cinders were flying off the fast moving train and you couldn’t get too close or you would choke and burn your eyes. It must’ve taken the train ten minutes to move through downtown it was so long.

My cellphone rang as I sat there waiting for more trains. It was buried in the bottom of my backpack and I hurried to get it out and answer it.

“Don’t forget to take your medications at noon,” my father told me. “Where are you? It sounds like you are outside somewhere.”

“I am sitting down here behind the bank at the tracks,” I replied.

I told him I was headed home soon anyway and would take my medications when I got back to the house. It then thundered loudly and that was my cue to head on to mi casa.

I Spoke Too Soon…

It got downright hot in here today at 83°F. The sun has set and it is a wonderful 66°F outside and I can feel the cool air blowing in from the bedroom fan. Maggie’s conked out in her favorite place on the rug in the computer room enjoying the cool air as well. It is supposed to get up to 91°F Saturday. I hope they get that HVAC installed in the next day or so or lord have mercy on my soul.

Pleasant Calls…

Janice called me tonight to thank me for her new to her computer. She said she was astounded at how fast the computer was.

“I’ve always had to wait on my computers,” she said to me. “Now my computer waits on me.”

She offered to pay me, but I would have none of that. Charlie has done countless similar things for me over the years. 

Today’s Trackside Experience…

I stayed down at the tracks this morning until it started to get hot and then I headed home. I got worried about getting sunburned for the most part. I got to see two mixed freights roar through downtown highballin’. This thrilled my heart and soul.

There was a small stray mutt that came walking down the tracks at one point.

“Come here,” I said to it carefully as I whistled. “I’ve got a can of potted meat for ya.”

I opened up the can and set it on the ground a few feet from me.

The dog just barked cautiously at me and kept on truckin’. He missed out on a great Southern delicacy: pig peckers, gonads, and tripe made into an interesting smelling meaty paste. Great for crackers and right up a dog’s alley. Maggie loves the stuff as do I.

Old Fuss and Feathers would absolutely kill me if I brought another dog home to live with Maggie and me. It makes me wonder how Maggie would react and handle it. Maggie always puts on a show when Amy, the neighbor’s dog, is in the yard. Maggie wants to see her and play so badly.

Comment Replies…

glittermom said...

Get your air conditioner. Yet? I know how your dad procrastinates. Looks like it’s pretty hot down there. If gets too bad tell your dad you’ll come over his house and stay if too hot.

Andrew replies…

Glittermom, I could always set up my tent in his den and “camp out”. LOL It would drive him crazy. Actually, it has been really cool at night. I cool the house down with a fan overnight and it stays mostly cool all day if I don’t open up the house which is well insulated. Charlie had insulation blown into all the walls before I moved in. I woke up downright cold this morning. No ETA on the air conditioner, though.

Why Can’t Charlie Just Buy Janice a Decent Computer?

Janice called me around lunch today.

“I hate to bother you, Andrew, but my computer is acting up,” she told me. “Will you come and look at it?”

I headed straight over to Charlie’s new house.

“It is your page file,” I told her. “Your computer doesn’t have enough memory and it is using your hard drive as virtual memory. That’s why it is so slow. The hard drive is the weakest link in older computers.”

I checked the Dell computer and it only had 4 gigs of memory and a Pentium single core processor running at 2 GHz. It was a sloth by any other name. Slowwww…

“I am going over to get my kitchen computer and we are giving you a computer that is fast as hell,” I told her. “Gather all the files, bookmarks, and photos you want to keep in a folder and we can transfer them with a USB memory stick I have.”

My kitchen computer is heavy as hell and I had trouble getting it to my car without letting Maggie out the front door. Moments later, I had Janice’s new computer up and running. I just reused her monitor which was a decent Samsung monitor and also her Dell keyboard and Logitech wireless marathon mouse. It took about 30 minutes to reset Windows 10 to a clean install erasing all my old files.

“The whole thing glows blue,” Janice remarked of the new computer with a smile.

“Is it too much?” I asked warily. “It is all the rage in computer gaming circles.”

“No,” Janice said. “I kind of like it.”

The hardest part was reinstalling all her old software, setting up her printer, and setting up her WOW! email account.

It Never Fails…

I was sitting on my bench behind the bank waiting for trains this morning. A mangy looking old fellow with a wild looking beard came walking down the tracks. I couldn’t put out my cigarette fast enough. I was too late, though. He had seen me smoking. He made a beeline right to where I was sitting.

“Hey man,” he said to me. “Could I borrow a few smokes?”

I gave him three cigarettes and he continued on into downtown. He didn’t even tell me thanks.

“You have a good one,” is all he said to me.

I don’t know what the lure is to me as far as the tracks are concerned, but I do know it is cathartic to me. I love to read a new issue of Model Railroader magazine while I smoke, drink sodas, and wait. To sit there and watch the signal go from green to yellow and then to red brings forth a great deal of excitement. 

Why Do I Always Have to Be Tonto?

I am sitting here waiting on my father and Charlie to bring Maggie’s and my chicken pot pies. It is 8:30 PM at the moment. It can seem like an eternity until they get here. My trusty Maggie is in the window looking out for their arrival, though. I bet you twenty bucks it will be 9 PM or later when they get here. I wanted to ride along, but didn’t catch my father in time. A ride with my father and Charlie is not for sensitive ears.

Hi Ho Silver and Away!

Edit: They arrived at 9 PM. Charlie immediately got in the kitchen after greeting Maggie and started to clean my stainless steel sink. My chicken pot pies were usurped by chicken breast fill up meals tonight. They were out of pot pies as they often are.

“Charlie? Hurry up! I want to eat my fried chicken while it is still hot!” my father said to Charlie from in the den.

Maggie was as happy as a baby in bathwater during all of this.

“Eat your chicken in the den and Maggie will help you!” Charlie retorted sarcastically. “I’ve got to do this one little thing for Andrew.”

Charlie loaded my dishwasher with dishes and turned it on. He then cleaned and refilled Maggie’s water bowl and they were on their way.

“Put it in the microwave dammit…..” was the last thing Charlie was saying as they shut my front door.

All Trumped Up…

“Don’t say anything about my hair,” our vain Charlie said this morning as he handed me a Coke and some breakfast biscuits.

“You’ve got that Trump look going on,” I said and then put my hand over my mouth with an astonished look on my face.

I just couldn’t resist. Charlie has the same color hair and his comb over had set sail in the breeze. Well, I think it really got off with Charlie and he got pissed off with me. I mutedly laughed and told him I loved him.

“I love you too,” Charlie said over Maggie’s maniacal barking. “I told you not to say anything about my hair.”

He got in his car and drove off headed to my father’s house to deliver his much coveted senior coffee and a sausage biscuit.

The Ride of the Valkyries…

“Whose this guy running up and down your street in the wheelchair?” dad asked me this morning intrigued. “He’s got a cigarette dangling out of his mouth.”

Dad was on his way to Alexander City to spend the day with his grandkids boating. My sister lives on Lake Martin. He stopped by to see Maggie and I before he hit the highway for that hour drive.

“He’s trying to get up some beer money I believe,” I told my father. “He will get out of the chair and pull himself up your steps and knock on the door. He lives somewhere in the neighborhood.”

“Hey buddy, you can’t spare ten or twenty bucks, can you?” He will ask.

“It is about a once a month occurrence,” I further said.

“Is he a disabled veteran?” dad then asked me.

“If he were, it would behoove him to wear his uniform and he would be rolling in the cash,” I replied.

As the Dust Settles…

I was over at my father’s house yesterday. He was joking and laughing and that put me at ease. We were listening to the radio and the lady speaking had a sublime Southern accent. The topic was writing about obituaries. I’ve heard some of you remark on my accent as well – that slow Southern drawl us Southerners seem to have.

I finally put away my fears of my father paying all that money for my HVAC unit. I just told myself that it came out of my mother’s inheritance money and she would love to help me and pay for it. When my car got stolen Christmas day years ago and we finally retrieved it, mom paid over $500 to get the locks changed on that car and she did it gladly out of love.

The house is just now cooling down for the day as the clock passed midnight. I will go to bed about 2 AM which has become my custom these days. I usually sleep until 2 PM the next day. My sleeping habits have always been weird so this is nothing new. Horsefly sleeps from sun up to sun down like a vampire. He’s a member of our weird sleepers club as well. My father stays up to 1 AM most nights on the nights he doesn’t have to work.

“I like it when it is so quiet and lowkey. That damn phone isn’t ringing as well,” he told me the other day.

Flabbergasted and Worried…

Sorry about not writing yesterday. I had to ruminate over what happened.

We have already been getting up to 86°F degrees here. I’ve been keeping the house cool with a fan in the window in my bedroom. My air conditioner quit working so I called my father and told him about a few days ago.

“It just blows warm air,” I explained to him.

“And just when it is getting hot,” my father replied. “That would just be your luck.”

I got up under the house and checked all the fuses and everything seemed fine. I turned the unit on and it just makes an electrical sounding hum and the fan on the heat exchanger doesn’t run.

My father had a guy he trusted come and look at it yesterday. They are going to have to replace the whole unit and it is going to cost $3600.

“It is always something with houses,” my father told me solemnly this morning. “I told them to order the parts and go ahead and replace it.”

I felt sick at my stomach for my father to have to pay such an amount on my behalf. If I worked minimum wage then I would just have to go without air conditioning and tough it out. I told my father that and that I could just tough it out this summer.

“How about two window units?” I just asked my father. “That would cost about $1000 dollars and I wouldn’t mind at all. We could put one in my computer room and one in my bedroom. The hardest part would be installing 230 volt outlets in those rooms.”

“I’ve already told them to go ahead with the install,” my father told me blithely.

Busier than a One Legged Man in an Ass Kicking Contest…

That’s me! I always liked that euphemism. It makes me smile to write it. Well, I felt the same way when I woke up this afternoon. I felt almost drugged from topsy turvy sleep. Yesterday’s early wake up for my injection about kicked my ass as well. It will get me in insomnia mode. I was dead tired all day, but not sleepy yesterday.

Well, I went to bed last night and tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. I finally fell asleep and woke up early this morning with my arm hurting. It is a dull, extremely uncomfortable ache. I had a motorcycle accident years ago where I broke my arm. If I sleep on it wrong, it will gives me fits. I knew to sit up for about a never ending hour in my recliner and rest the arm to let the pain go away. I finally went back to sleep and slept until about 1:30 PM.

So, it is now about 3 PM and I am just now returning to the land of the living – the drugged feeling is going away. I pray I sleep well and get back on schedule tonight.

Going Through the Motions…

I yawned deeply and rubbed my eyes while Rebecca prepared my injection.

“You are still half asleep!” she told me.

“Twenty minutes ago I was asleep in the recliner in my den,” I replied. “I woke up in a panic and hurried down through the Valley. I don’t think I fell asleep until almost 2 AM last night.”

“We’ll make this quick so you can go back home and get back in the bed,” she told me.

I was very ready for my shot. It seems the first week after getting it I feel so well and then I go downhill from there. It was time for a refill of those little microsphericals that keep me going and my schizophrenia at bay.

“You still writing your journal?” Rebecca asked me quizzically as she was administering my injection.

“Usually about every day,” I replied with a wince as the needle was inserted. “It is actually quite rare that I miss a day. It is a labor of love for me. I had a rough spot about a week or two ago where I just didn’t feel like writing.”

“I just can’t write like that and I admire you for being able to do so,” She said.

Rebecca gave me a man hug and told me I was clear to go about my day. I had to see Trina for my next appointment card which she had already prepared. I headed back to the pharmacy and was soon home with my Maggie dog.

Maggie is being very needy this morning – needing her various itches scratched. I can hit a certain spot on her back and it is sheer dog ecstasy.  She is also busy tending to the neighborhood's business as well.