A Tingle in my Brain…

Mental illness is hard for me to describe.  I am talking about the subtle versions of mental illness that don’t manifest themselves outwardly in bizarre behavior.  I am sure you’ve all been to a big city and seen the crazy street preachers on the corners decreeing the end is near and so is the second coming of Christ. My mental illness is not like that for the most part. It’s subtle and usually very physical.

Mental illness starts for me as butterflies in my stomach leading sometimes to confusion and rambling phone calls to my parents trying to explain what was going on with me.  When I was having the anxiety/panic attacks my illness was so very physical and tangible. I lived in constant fear around the clock that I was going to have an attack.  I was scared to death. It was a truly miserable existence. 

It started tonight with a tingle in my brain – a buzz if you will. A slight hint of confusion creeps up on me. Now the butterflies have started fluttering in my stomach in earnest.  I am also obsessing – obsessing over the cleanliness of my home.  Laura wants to grill out Saturday and I’ve got to do some serious heavy duty cleaning and fast.  Dad was too drunk last night for me to share my concerns with him.  I know what he would tell me, though. “Tell her you are having problems with your illness and you can’t do it.  You really can’t do all that, Andrew!  You are not able.”  That’s what my father would say. “She expects too much out of you!”

This would be prime addiction time years ago.  I would drink and drown my mental illness in beer or pills and also copious amounts of cigarettes – the nicotine soothing the ailing neurons of my brain. The very same neurons that misfire to cause schizophrenia.  A dozen beers later, I would have forgotten all my problems and would be ready for bed – alcohol being a depressant and all causing drowsiness.. 

Photo Credit:  http://www.webmd.com/brain/picture-of-the-brain

Tamaraisms…

Strangeness and gibberish.  This could be a case of the pot calling the kettle black.  These will often have no context – putting these on her page without explanation of why or what prompted them.  This are just random quotes taken from Tamara’s Facebook page…

• When will parents and grandparents or single mothers EVER listen or learn...you don't put KIDS in adult conversations. They are not a game token of life it's their life! Thank you Dr. Phil for you calm
• Are you finished? Huh? Sounds pretty good to me now, who would you like to speak with next? My dead father? You just calmed my day! I love you too!
• If you have anymore life instruction books, I will take it. Its like life forgets to put warning and precaution labels on our hearts!
• I agree God puts certain people in your life for a reason...Thank You, Will Fisher from the beginning of our friendship at Olympian Villiage Health Spa to the expanding family at J.Smith Lanier. Your life, your personality, and your humor in your testament has provided all us God Forsaken Sinners a chance for redemption through Gods World. I would like to share your blog today for anyone looking for God's Will PRAISE GOD!
• I'm looking for the how's my driving sticker...I shall not, will not report the university it belongs to...or the speed I was running too!
• I am screaming for HELP! Throw a bottle at the wall and see what sticks! I've never experienced Mania until today, I don't want to see mania especially medication pushed to mania! End of Story!
• UN bee live able! There is no way all this could have happened!
  Spend a day with me...and you will understand the scars! The Pain!

 

Pleased as Punch Can Be…

I am so pleased that my friend, Tamara, from High School has asked me out for lunch.  She was in the pharmacy the other day and told my father that I was a complete computer genius.  It really intrigued my father. 

“She’s really cute,” dad told me later in the day. “And she is single.”

“You know she’s had issues with mental illness,” I told my father.

“Hell, we’re all crazy in our own way,” he replied.

Charlie says that phrase quite often and dad is prone to repeat him.

Tamara also wants me to look at her laptop for which she says is “inadequately slow”.

I doubt I will be able to do anything with her laptop as they are inherently slow from the moment you buy them.

Interesting to Say the Least…

It always intrigues me when my mother calls and asks what day it is and what time it is.  Why can’t she just walk into the den and ask my father?  He is at home tonight making bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches as I write this.

“Momma, you ought to know what day it is,” I told her. “You got your hair fixed Monday.”

“That’s right!” she exclaimed. “It must be Wednesday!”

Momma’s got an alarm clock by her bed, but she says she doesn’t trust it or believe it.

“It is 6;00pm in the afternoon,” I told her. “What have you been doing all day?”

“I’ve slept all day and I am fixing to go make some hotdogs,” she replied. “I don’t want what your daddy’s fixing.”

Harrumph!

Hello? It’s That Dastardly Phone Again…

For a guy with phone phobias and anxieties, I sure do talk on the phone a lot these days. Laura called me tonight and went on and on about Wayne – her soon to be live-in boyfriend.  They are going to be shacking up in paradise according to her. 

“It is going to be like paradise,” she told me. “He is going to treat me like a real woman.”

“You better hope he does,” is what I was thinking.

I didn’t say it, though. I was being polite tonight.  She showed me a photo of Wayne the other day and he looked like quite a rough looking fellow if you know what I mean – the burley biker type. Why do some women gravitate to bad men?

“I am coming to get you if that doesn’t work out,” I told Laura sternly. “I’ve already looked on the map about how to get to Statesboro.”

I do very well expect for me to have to drive far east of Atlanta and come and get her. Paradise is not a camper trailer behind Wayne’s sister’s house.  The darned thing doesn’t even have running water or a bathroom.  I bet that thing is hot as hades on a hot Southern summer afternoon as well. Daytime television will only carry you so far before boredom sets in while Wayne is at work.

Photo Credit:  http://www.campinglife.com/category/rv-and-trailer-reviews/rv-reviews/

Medication Moments…

9:08pm – Mom has come and gone with Maggie’s heartworm medications.

“What would you do if you had a wreck?” I asked mom worriedly about her driving over here in her pajamas, slippers, and housecoat. 

Mom also brought Maggie Vienna sausages.  This has gotten Maggie, my alarm dog and Papa proximity detector, off schedule and out of tune.  She is now out barking at the neighbors who are sitting on their patio. What time will Papa arrive tonight? No one knows.  I am betting it will be 9:30pm if he doesn’t fall asleep after a glass of wine in the recliner.

9:30pm – Bingo! I got it right tonight.  My father just has left. He was drunk as a cooter tonight with Charlie ferrying him around. Charlie cleaned my kitchen and took out the trash cussing all the way as my father spoke drunkenly of completely silly stuff about Maggie’s royal lineage.

“Is Mauritania and Mauritius French or English?” he asked me quizzing me as he slurred his words. “You need to know this stuff about Maggie!”

“Now John! Get your ass in the car and quit talking all that silly shit!” Charlie exclaimed to my father.

Photo Credit:   https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Unidentified_white_wine_in_glass.jpg

Do Not Want…

This morning is my injection for Risperdal Consta.  Dad called me just after midnight to remind me.  I was tootling around on the computer after having talked to Laura on the phone for almost an hour.  I wanted to get off the phone so very badly that I finally made up some stupid excuse about my medications affecting my ability to concentrate.  Gosh, that girl can talk – she can talk more than I ever dreamed possible.  I’ve become el confidante – the keeper of the secrets that shall not be divulged. She tells me all her wants and desires. TMI sometimes – too much information.

I do not want to go get my injection this morning.  It is sheer laziness with a touch of agoraphobia and introversion thrown in for good measure.  I would like to stay safely sequestered in my home ala Andrew style. My computers and I.  No long winded, rambling conversations with receptionists for me this morning. 

Just the mere thought of doing all of that this morning boggles my brain at the moment. I am going to have to pick up the injection at my father’s house, head to Kamath Medical to be injected, and then drive back to my father’s house with the next appointment card which is his insurance that I actually got the injection. It’s that, or be a drooling, panicky idiot by nightfall tonight or tomorrow. At least I get my moments of euphoria a few hours after the injection.  It feels very akin to a long lasting and furtive orgasm.  Oh, I shall be orgasmic I say!

Out of the Closet…

There go my skeletons – one by one.  I’ve hinted on Facebook that I may have mental health issues and it has attracted an old high school friend who also suffers from mental illness.  She invited me out to lunch and she wants me to take a look at her laptop which is having issues and is ailing.  What she posts on Facebook is mainly complete gibberish so it is going to be interesting what she is really like in person after all these years of not seeing her.  Will she drive herself?  Will she speak in coherent sentences?  There is much to be answered about this endeavor.  

Fiendish With Fossil Fuels…

I will let you in on a little secret.  I don’t believe in fossil fuels.  I believe oil is abiotic and naturally occurs from carbon deposits and heat deep within the Earth.  I also believe it is a renewable resource – constantly being made by that same process.  It defies logic to me that so much ancient vegetation could be compressed and heated and to be deposited miles under the earth’s crust turned into crude oil. Coal is a whole other matter that I am still mulling over.  It could very well be made by similar processes to crude oil.   

Don’t Let Us Down, Papa…

8:45pm -- “Papa may be here in a minute!” I very cautiously just told Maggie as she ran and got in the window on lookout for his car. She had already been mulling about -- keen on his arrival. Each car that would pass the house, she would stop and listen intently and look towards the door.  I can still hear her whining or whinging as the Brits say as I sit here at my computer wanting my father to arrive. It may be my famous last words with Papa showing up at 10pm tonight. I know Charlie’s wife is home from the hospital today so she can take care of Horsefly tonight. At least, running his bathwater, toweling him off, and getting him dressed for a trip to Kentucky Fried Chicken.

NASA Says the Computer is Good to Go!

I fixed my pesky computer power supply problem late this evening.  The power supply wasn’t grounding properly to my case.  Four firmly tightened screws and the power supply cable securely applied into its socket has seemed to fix the problem.  No random restarts as of yet for hours after they had become pretty regular and random, and quite damn aggravating I might add.

And the Plot Thickens…

9:20pm – And the Papa has left to go get in his recliner with a glass of expensive white wine at his side. I am sure he will watch the “Hitler Channel” much to my mother’s chagrin. She will blow loudly, close her book, and go lay in the bed as if in exile.

“I don’t sleep!” she fervently says. “I just lay there.”

My medications will take effect about 10pm and I have the soundtrack to Dances With Wolves which I downloaded today to keep me company until then.   Ah, sweet Klonopin!  Hold me in your warm, loving embrace!

SOB, Sniffle, A Tear Drops From My Eye…

All the storms are to the south of us today.  They are really getting hit hard in places such as Eufaula and Beulah. There is a 50 percent chance we might have some reform over us as the afternoon progresses, but I remain doubtful as usual. 

It is 5:30pm and I am just waking for the day.  Knock on wood, but I feel really refreshed and ready to take on what may.

Laura called me a moment ago, but didn’t talk long much to my elation.  Talking on the phone is just so tiresome to me.  I am definitely an introvert.  All her Facebook pages were deleted and she was all amiss about it. 

“How did all your Facebook pages get deleted?” I asked with a dubious air of incredulousness.

It all sounded strange, unsavory to me and nefarious.  I checked real quick online and they were all truly deleted.

“I don’t know!” Laura exclaimed. “Unless it was Richard! He might have my emails and passwords from before I moved out.”

Richard is her old flame – a guy who won’t let go.  He can post the most pitiful things on his timeline meant for Laura.  Embarrassing things.  He was threatening suicide the other night.  

“Do I take this step off the ledge?” he asked her the other night on his page.

There was a photo of a lady about to jump to her demise.  

“There is not a place high enough in Lagrange he can jump off and kill himself with,” I told Laura. “He’d just end up in the hospital with a broken leg.”

“I know I shouldn’t laugh about this, but that made me snicker,” Laura replied.  

Oh, poor Richard!  What are we going to do about him?  It is really none of my business to be completely frank. I don’t want to get tangled in all that crazy, shitty mess.

And a Drop of Water Drips Off His Nose…

Soaking wet, I unloaded my groceries tonight.  Maggie sat in the lit window watching me no doubt amused. Silly humans!!! Water to Maggie is like holy water to a vampire. I unloaded the heaviest items first which was five gallons of Milo’s sweet tea and then began unloading the frozen stuff. All the while, the rain fell at a rapid rate as I scurried inside and out trying not to get soaked.

I impulse bought as far as my shopping went tonight. I was starving when I began shopping and completely lost focus.  I didn’t stick with my plan of procuring mainly Asian food.  I just stuck in my cart what looked interesting and tasty tonight which resulted in a hodge podge of a shopping cart.  Chili's has a new line of frozen meals and I got mostly those as far as main entrees were concerned. If the meals weren’t very good, then I would be shit out of luck having not tried them before.

Unsure of the price, I gulped deeply as I was being checked out. I was in uncharted waters with those meals and their prices. I spent almost $83 dollars exactly – a far cry from the $60 I spent last week. Old fuss and feathers didn’t say a word much to my relief. 

A Call of Good Omen…

My father called me as soon as I had gotten my groceries squared away. A pop of lightning made me jump as I answered the phone.

“You do so much better than you used to do,” my father told me appraisingly. “Five years ago you would have gone to the grocery store looking like a homeless man. You keep yourself looking so handsome and neat now.”

Having womenfolk you like around you tends to do that.

“A few years ago mom was buying my groceries because I couldn't go out of the house due to my social anxieties and panic attacks,” I reminded my father.

“I am going to have to lean on you for the next week about our cars,” dad said. “All our cars are going to get a tune-up and inspection for needed things to be done. I am going to have to rely on you to help me get all these cars around and to the shop. The BMW will have to go to Columbus.”

“Sure dad, I would be glad to help,” I replied to my father. “I need to get the air filter changed on my engine and I need new windshield wipers.”

“Start making a list…” my father told me.

Historically, my father would consider myself to be too unreliable to help in such an endeavor. He would get Charlie to help him despite all that Charlie's got on his plate. This is just a sign of how things have vastly changed around here with regards to my father’s relationship and mine.

And the Weather Begins to Get Interesting…

I’m not going to get groceries if it is stormy much to my father’s chagrin.

A Peon -- I’m Not Held in High Regard…

“Where are you?” I asked my father over his cellphone at 7pm not hearing anything out of him all day.

I was being inquisitive. 

“I’m taking Lilly to her soccer game in Auburn,” my father chirpily replied as if there had just been the second coming of Christ.

It would have been 6pm Auburn time, by the way.

This will most likely mean I will not see him until 10pm est or later tonight and tonight is grocery night.  I sighed and hung up the phone feeling defeated.  I learned years ago not to be a source of contention – things will be thrown back into my face about my sordid past.  It’s just not worth it.  I live a blessed life and should just be content with how things go for most of the time, and most of the time things go well.

Oh well, let’s look on the brighter side of life and get ready for an Asian extravaganza tonight!  Fried rice and beef and broccoli here we come!  That first bite in a week of milk chocolate is going to be exquisite as it melts in my mouth. 

A Matter of Battery…

Me @ 5pm yesterday afternoon: “If we pour some diet Coke on your battery terminals, It will clean them right up.”

I was looking at my mother's engine -- specifically her battery. Mom frowned with much worry as she looked on the proceedings. We had just jumped my car off again for the second time in two days.

I go back inside and sit down in front of the computer after getting my mother's car back on the street and oriented towards home. Mom heads to Circle K down the street on a mission to get a diet Coke unbeknownst to me. She blew her car horn when she arrived back at my house. Maggie goes nuts!

Mom: You sure this will work? I am afraid that corrosion will make my car not crank eventually.

I grabbed the diet Coke and carefully poured it on the positive terminal which cleaned it right up. It looked pristine.

Mom: "Thank you!" my mother told me. "I would have never thought in a thousand years that would clean that up."

And to think we drink the stuff...

Real Cane Sugar Tea?

“And I am unanimous in that!!!” as Mrs. Slocomb would always say.  I am tired of this Milo’s diet tea – tired of the artificial sweetener Splenda.  I want some real sweetened tea this week – sweetened with cane sugar.  The diet will just have to go on hold.  I was just maintaining my weight around 210 anyway with the imbibing of sweets juxtaposed by the drinking of diet tea. I will probably get 5 gallons to get me through the week.  Yes, I will compulsively drink the tea.  Did so with the diet tea as well.

It is going to be an Asian themed grocery day tonight.  I want lots of different combinations of fried rice and those P.F. Chang’s meals that you fix in a wok or a skillet.

I’ve already got my sweets planned out.  I want six XL Hershey’s milk chocolate bars and two packages of the Reese’s Big Cup peanut butter cups.  I also want to find some kind of tangy and sour candy like Wonka’s Nerds.  It is becoming apparent to me that I have the taste buds of a child lately. 

H.M.S Mercy is Afloat and Sails Again…

About the question of me driving to Lagrange after taking my medications, I could definitely feel them mingling with the neurons in my mind and I was slow to react to things.  They also give me terrible cottonmouth and make me garble my words some. It wasn't so bad I couldn't drive, though. I mainly just felt strange not ever having much activity when I take my meds.  I usually go to sleep in an hour.

On the other hand, my car is back up and running.  Dad arrived this afternoon with KFC for dinner, a spare car key, and a set of jumper cables. We went for a long drive out in the countryside to charge the battery. We also talked in great depth how much my life has changed these past few years. It certainly has immensely changed socially and with regards to substance abuse.  Even my familial relationships are vastly different.  My biggest vice these days is taking six diphenhydramine to make me sleep. 

“You’re forgetting one thing,” I told my father as he was getting in his car to leave for home. “You haven’t said goodbye to the Ducal Duchess and esteemed princess!”

Dad laughed goodheartedly and headed inside my house.  Maggie had been barking in earnest the whole time we were in my driveway.  She was overjoyed when my father came inside to see her. She jumped on and off the couch in excitement many times.

Photo Credit:  http://wmunderway.8m.com/gallery33/gallery33.htm

Wonderful Milk Chocolate…

Tomorrow is grocery day and I am craving candy like milk chocolate and peanut butter cups something crazy.  Dad remarked on our last journey to the grocery store that traditionally I have never liked candy.  I don’t know what brought this change to my taste buds. It certainly hurts my waistline. I will probably be dreaming of chocolate as I go to sleep tonight. I know several of you are thinking that it is just another one of my addictions and maybe it is. I’ll be thinking of you as that rich and smooth Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bar melts in my warm mouth.  

photo credit: http://www.1zoom.net/Food/wallpaper/334004/z4663/%26original=1

Dial 911…

So, I am sitting over here at the house with no way to get around feeling pitiful for myself. When Joni Mitchell sang, “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone,” she knew what she was singing.  I just called my father and told him to get up a mission of mercy.  I need my sodas badly and my poor car is languishing in the driveway helpless.  I am hoping mom has a spare car key and then my father can jump me off with his battery and my jumper cables.

“Can we take my medications, too?” I asked timidly, extremely pushing my luck and he said yes much to my relief.

Sleepyhead, Laura, is just getting up.  We talked on the phone from 10:30pm to 12am last night. I was just exhausted from that marathon phone call. I was asleep not much past midnight when my head hit the pillow.

Mission of Mercy Accomplished…

The cavalry has arrived. My father just stopped by to get last night’s receipts which he keeps for Social Security.  He also had my sodas and medications. I don’t know who was more glad to see him, Maggie or I. Maggie sure put on a fine show of affection.

“I’m not going to wake your mother till later,” he said. “We’ll get you car going then.  Give her a few more hours to sleep.”

I was just pretty content to get my medications so early. The sodas are in the freezer getting ice cold.  

Apple Cobbler…

That was my favorite dish yesterday at The Fried Tomato.  Laura’s favorite foods were the fried chicken and okra.  I ate two whole platefuls of that delicious dish and then moved onwards to country fried steak and gravy. I finished my meat course with one fried chicken breast.  I also fixed a giant green salad laden with ham, egg salad, cheddar cheese, bacon bits, and ranch dressing. Sadly, they didn’t have any blue cheese dressing.

After dinner, we went to Dairy Queen for dessert.  Laura got a large Butterfinger blizzard and I got a large hot fudge sundae.

Laura texted me when I got back at the house and said, “I had a wonderful time with you this evening.”

Ah, that just melted my heart.  I texted her back that I had a great time as well

When I arrived home, I locked my keys in the car with the headlights still on.  No longer can I get my key, but the Car wouldn’t crank anyway – the headlights having drained the battery.  At least, I had a way to get into my house.

“Just my luck,” I smirked to myself as I surveyed my predicament.  My new neighbor walked over to tell me my car lights were on and I explained to him what happened.

“You got yourself in a pickle,” he told me.

Photo Credit:     https://healthymamma.wordpress.com/2011/12/02/grandmas-number-1-perfect-apple-cobbler/

Today’s Specials at The Fried Tomato…

Saturday: Pulled Pork, Hot Wings, BBQ Ribs (Dinner only), Fettuccine Chicken Alfredo, Baked Beans, Fried Okra, Green Baby Lima Beans, Mini Corndog, Pineapple Casserole.

I am leaning towards the Fettuccine Chicken Alfredo and mini corndogs.  The Pineapple Casserole sounds great as well. It will be sweet and tart if it is similar to all the ones I have tried over the years.  It is kind of a strange and mötley crüe conglomeration of entrees and vegetables, isn’t it?

I managed to sleep through most of the night except for some computer building.  Laura called me at lunch all chipper and very excited, and woke me up.  I am glad she did as I was dead to the world sleeping my precious little heart away. She wants to go to Wal-Mart so I told her I would sit in the car while she is doing her shopping.  I’ve already got enough on my plate as it is without having to go inside Wally World and experience stimulation overload.  Or I could go into Wally World and get me a $399 PlayStation 4 mwahahaha!!!!  I certainly would be in the doghouse as far as my father is concerned by doing that!

2:00pm Double Dog Down – Double Dog Down was a phrase my brother and I used as children when things are especially good or fortuitous.  

Papa just brought my many medications and gave me forty dollars to pay for this afternoon. He was in a very, very good mood.  We sat on the couch as dad doled out my dosages and Maggie vied for his attention.

“That $40 dollars will give you enough to get you two a sweet treat after supper!” my father told me. “Now don’t you two be all over each other kissing in that restaurant and in public.”

Dad chuckled loudly with a sly grin.

“We’re just friends!” I replied defensively as I laughed hysterically.

I was just going to use my debit card to pay for our meal before my father gave me that $40. I just texted Laura that the wheels are in motion and I will pick her up at 5pm.

To Be a Kind and Gentle Friend…

One of my opinions I’ve always held about “The Homeless Guy” is that the reason he doesn’t have any friends is that he imposes upon them and always takes and never gives back.  I see this reflected in myself as well. My cup doesn’t exactly runneth over in the friends department.

Well, now I have a friend.  She’s homebound most days since she doesn’t drive and doesn’t have a car.  The selfish side of me dreads dressing up, driving to Lagrange, and finding the restaurant and paying for a meal of ours.  This is were I should strongly hit the brakes and think of my friend’s needs instead of my own.  It is “The Homeless Guy’s” and my greatest Achilles heel when it comes to relationships.  “What can I do to make your life more enjoyable and fun?” Is what I should be asking my friend. 

So, today we have our second try of Laura’s and my trip to The Fried Tomato.  I will don some nice clothes, drive 25 miles, and take her out to eat. Not because I want to. I am perfectly happy sitting at home, but because a friend of mine would very much enjoy the experience.  

Coming From a A+ Certified Computer Fanatic…

Okay, so I did a little test overnight.  I had a spare ASUS Z97 Pro motherboard and a spare Intel Core i5 3.2 GHz socket 1150 processor. I also used 8 GB of G.Skill 2400 MHz RAM.  I hooked it all up sprawled on my kitchen table connected to a spare ACER 27” monitor.  My main goal was to test out Windows 10 without having to install it on my gaming, blogging/browsing, or retro-gaming computers.  (It was also lots of fun!)

Well, everything installed without a hitch.  The install was from a burned torrented Windows 10 DVD stolen from Kickasstorrentz.com.  I didn’t have any problems and it was fast as well being installed on a spare solid state drive (Samsung 250 GB 850 EVO SSD). It was probably one of the fastest Windows installs I’ve ever experienced. They’ve really streamlined the process.

My final verdict?  Windows 10 Pro is not worth your time if you are running Windows 7. It is only marginally better than Windows 8.1 Pro. As far as aesthetics go, the color scheme is horrid in my opinion.  In this version they’ve tried to balance desktop and tablet versatility while trying to lean more towards the desktop computer look and feel. I would say update if you are on Windows 8 or 8.1.  Windows 7 users?  You are fine just where you are. You’ll sorely miss the Aero interface of Windows 7 if you switch.

Now, to go stuff and secure all these parts into a spare case sitting in the computer room and I have a new multipurpose computer to toy with.

Blogging On My Now Ancient First Gen. iPad…

A Night Out With the Horsefly…

Charlie’s oldest son had major surgery yesterday on his pancreas so my father and I are taking turns taking care of Horsefly.  I had to cancel my date with Laura tonight as well and she was real gracious and forgiving of it.

6:00pm - I’ve got Horsefly’s bathwater running.  He was sound asleep when I walked into the room to wake him.  Luckily, he didn’t have an accident during the day as he slept so I didn’t have to change the wet sheets and put a load in the washing machine.   Next is Kentucky Fried Chicken and the 4 chicken tender meal, double mashed potatoes, and no biscuit. Then, we will travel to the bowling alley just down the road from KFC and he gets to bowl four games.  He will bowl those four games so fast that he will be a sweaty mess afterwards. Charlie always takes a towel and I have put one in my car. Pray we don’t have a gutter ball event as Horsefly gets mighty torn up over those. I will update as the night progresses. 

6:45pm – So, we’re sitting here in KFC. I thought about aggravating Horsefly and sitting down at his booth.  He will just take his tray and move to another booth or table thus I would be playing with fire by doing so. It’s the kid in me wanting to poke the fire anthill with a stick.  I’m munching on a double order of potato wedges dipped in ketchup.  I love those things. I just told Horsefly to slow down and chew his food.  He frowned at me wanting to say something as he dipped a chicken tender in honey mustard sauce. He will barf all over my car if he eats too fast.

7:30pm – We’re are now at the bowling alley with some of the slowest, most aggravating wi-fi imaginable.  It takes me a minute to update what I write.  We’re off to the races though with Horsefly bowling briskly.  Pray for no gutter balls or my life will be hell. I don’t know how to keep score in bowling so I just put a big X in the box when Horsefly bowls twice so we will know when he bowls four games. He is bowling mostly spares and strikes.  We’re having a good night thank goodness!

8:50pm – Well, we are back home.  Horsefly is perfectly ensconced in what we call his command chair in a room that looks like something out of a toy store shrine.  I put a Dora The Explorer DVD in his Blu-ray player and put it on repeat. I covet Horsefly’s flat screen TV as it is humongous.  Horsefly will rock in his chair all night while fondling one or more of his plush, stuffed dolls and then dad and I will have to go over in the morning to make sure he gets in the bed and gets a decent breakfast. Horsefly’s favorite breakfast is really buttery and creamy grits.

Blogged on my iPad

Finally, Helen’s Macaroni and Cheese Recipe…

Helen finally reneged and gave me her Mac and Cheese recipe.  This is how dad’s mom made macaroni and cheese as well.  I always remember my grandmother’s recipe to be very peppery so if you are adventurous you could try that some time.

Ingredients:
1 heaping tablespoon unsalted butter
salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 cups elbow macaroni
2 to 3 cups of grated extra-sharp or sharp Cheddar
2 cups whole milk
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 9-by-13-inch ovenproof casserole dish.
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the macaroni and cook until tender (a little more than al dente), about 12 minutes. Drain well in a colander.
In a large bowl, combine the macaroni, cheese, milk and eggs. Add some salt and pepper. Transfer to the prepared dish.
Bake until golden brown and bubbly, about 30 minutes.

Asperger’s Might Be the Answer…

Laura and I were talking on the phone yesterday afternoon.  She had a meeting earlier in the day with her lawyer about her SSI benefits.  She keeps trying to get onboard, but her lawyer seems stuck in a quagmire. We talked a long time about her autism and how it effects her.  I told her to look up Asperger’s Syndrome on the internet as that is a higher functioning form of autism. It seems to fit her diagnosis more accurately and maybe with this diagnosis she will get her benefits.

Why Do The Women in My Life Always Like the Bad Dysfunctional Guys?

Laura is also stricken and in love with this guy named Wayne who lives in Statesboro, Georgia near Savannah.  He lives in a small camper trailer behind his sister’s house. He’s been trying to get up the money to move Laura out there to live with him.  He wants to afford an apartment. He sold his washer and dryer yesterday and also his electric guitars and amps yesterday. If he can just get his truck fixed would be the next step!

“He told me last night before bed that he loved me,” Laura swooned earlier in the day.”I don’t mind living in a camper as long as it is with Wayne.”

You should of seen me roll my eyes with no immediate comment.  She’s my good friend now and I want what’s best for her.

“It would behoove you to live at home and continue putting your life back together,” I finally told her in my own opinionated way.

She has stability and a supportive family at home living with her parents. She’s going to run off with this goofy guy to Statesboro and get in a mess when he can’t support the both of them. Laura’s autism creates difficulties which prevents her from working a conventional job. 

It is Looking Promising (Good Eats)…

Well, tomorrow we go to The Fried Tomato in Lagrange for dinner at 5pm.  I’ve already got Papa’s approval and $40 dollars out of the ATM. The way Laura talks this place is fantastic and only $8.95 per person. I already know what I want.  I want fried chicken, fried shrimp, fried catfish, meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, and peach cobbler. I also want to hit up the salad bar as well. Hopefully, they will have a tasty and chunky blue cheese dressing with bacon bits and egg salad..

Friday: Fried Fish, Turkey Pot Roast, Fried Shrimp (Dinner only), Homemade Hush Puppies, French Fries, Spaghetti, Broccoli Casserole, Pinto Beans.

And the Thunder Goes BOOM!

We’re in for a raucous night weather-wise here in the South. This invigorates me so much.  It is thundering really loudly to the south of our little burg and a Severe Thunderstorm Warning has been issued for our county for the next hour.  

Consumer Created Content…

Or CCC (triple C) for short.  One of Facebook’s Achilles heels in my opinion is all these completely tiresome memes that get spread around Facebook ad nauseum. (I’ve seen the mother dog with puppies cry three separate rounds this week). Instead of sharing another person’s or entity's content, I want to encourage people to start posting their own photos and writing about their very own life experiences.  This would make Facebook such a creatively inspiring and interesting place to be, and would encourage improved writing skills as well. I know it’s a shot in the dark, but I have started the past few days to practice what I preach with 75 percent of my content being mine and original. I can get in that habit, too, of just sharing train photos and videos when no one wants to see them, but I.  If you are on Facebook tomorrow, take a moment and write about your day and possibly take a photo looking out your front door.  You might be surprised by the reaction you get with quite a few likes and shares.

While You Slumbered…

I’ve been up all night listening to music.  I find myself gravitating to Bjork’s Vespertine album tonight. It was about her last melodic album before she fell off into the abyss that is extreme electronica.  It is very lyrical, melodic, and musical.  I just adore that song It’s Not Up to You from that album.  Last night, it was Sufjan Stevens for my earwig affliction.  I kept playing that song Upper Peninsula over and over in my head.

Maggie looks perfectly comfortable spread out on her side of the bed. I will occasionally hear a loud sigh out of her and look to see her repositioning herself. Oh hell, now she is licking my pillow – a bad habit of hers.  I do not know why she does that unless she thinks she is grooming me in the process,

Storms are breaking out to the south of Columbus, Georgia which is a complete fluke and oddity for this time of the night.  I just stepped outside and you can see the lightning some 100 miles a way. 

Down Ye Olden Gullet They Go…

My medications can have a placebo effect as well.  Immediately after taking my medications, I feel calmer and more centered.  My mind knows help is on the way.  That can be a long hour to wait, though, and then they hit me like a sledgehammer hits cement. It is definitely not a subtle transition.

Tonight, Maggie was laying on the back deck and came tearing inside signaling Papa was here.  She’s is very attuned to the exhaust note of dad’s Honda and also to Charlie’s Caprica.  “Hallelujah!” I said jubilantly as I got up from this computer to go answer the front door. Maggie was barking like crazy as well especially glad to see my father tonight.

“You just can’t take all that dating,” my father told me sitting down on the couch as he opened my medications.

“We’re just friends,” I said correcting my father. “We just go out to eat once a week and then get us a sweet treat. We have never even kissed!”

“But you can’t handle all that social stuff!” he exclaimed to me. “It gets you off kilter!”

Maggie let it be known that she was hungry and has eaten as she has her own rituals as well.  She is now back on the back-deck listening to the nighttime sounds of the other dogs in the neighborhood.  They have sort of a canine grapevine thing going on – separated by distance, but not by sound.  She will soon amble back into the cool insides of my home and get on the bed for tonight’s lengthy grooming efforts.

The Day of the Horsefly…

Charlie’s oldest son is having major surgery tomorrow so my father is taking care of the Horsefly tonight.  He will run his bathwater and make sure he has a meal most likely from KFC.  Horsefly will usually wet his bed so dad will have to change the plastic liner for his bed and the sheets.  Where I fit in the picture is not quite certain at this point.  I expect my father to arrive around nine for medications with Horsefly in the car with him.  It takes my medications an hour to take effect and I am not sure if they will put me to sleep early tonight or not.  

Not a Good Night to Be Andrew…

I feel as if I am in a mental fog tonight.  Not feeling well at all.  I called my father and he immediately made me feel better.  I actually laughed.

“It’s all that pussy you are chasing after!” he very, very crassly told me as he laughed jovially. “Just turn the computer and the phone off. Pussy will get you in trouble every time.”

“It’s mental, though, Dad!” I exclaimed over our phones.

“I will be there soon to give you your medications,” he told me in closing. 

New Neighbors and Neighborly I Shall Be…

“Now, you’ve got to be on your best behavior,” I told Maggie who was licking her paws on the couch. “No barking like ape shit bananas at 2am in the morning.”

Maggie didn’t pay me one bit of attention and went back to the methodical grooming of her appendages. They have finally sold Joyce’s house after it having been vacant for years and years.

“Andrew Quixote,” I said to the elderly, short, and plump white lady who answered the door. She kind of looked like a little potbelly stove.  “I’m your next door neighbor.”

The lady eagerly told me her name and asked me to come inside.

“There is not much to sit on just yet,” she told me apologetically.  “They deliver my furniture tomorrow.”

Boxes of stuff were everywhere.

“I can’t stay,” I told her with an earnest smile. “Y’all let me know if you need help with anything.  We are real neighborly around here.”

What I did is very hard for me to do socially – facing the social unknown.  They could’ve been rude and unruly knocking me off the pedestal of social courage I had built for myself to sit upon.

The Fried Green Tomato… 

That’s where Laura wants to eat this week – a little country buffet place in Lagrange called The Fried Green Tomato.

“It’s delicious!” she exclaimed over the phone last night. “They have the best country cooking and down home food. You’ll love it!”

“Sounds like my kind of place,” I replied, loving a good buffet.  

It certainly sounds more agreeable with my wallet than Longhorn Steakhouse. I wanted to know if they have meatloaf and Laura said they always do.

Meds for the Mentally Addled…

Darkness falls and I wait.  I look at the clock atop my entertainment center.   Maggie takes her place in the window to look out for Papa.  I curl up in my lazy boy – my feet cold from the air conditioning.  Maggie then jumps to attention as a car pulls up out front.  It is about 9pm.  Papa is here.  I go open the front door as Maggie jubilantly barks at Papa as he walks across the yard – his hands filled with various Ziploc bags and containers of medications.  This happens every night of my life and rarely fails.

That Subtle Shift in Sleeping Habits…

It happens over time pretty consistently.  I don’t mean for it to happen.  I stay up later and later for the last few weeks and the next thing you know I am going to bed at 4am.  It is happening again.  I stayed up to 4am playing WarCraft and woke up at 1pm this afternoon.  I will say again that I don’t mean to do it.  It just happens. I tend to feel my best in the hours around midnight.   My mind is clear.  I am bright eyed and bushytailed. I sleep well and wake up the next afternoon feeling rested and ready to take on my day.

Ah, Gluttony is in the Air…

I gave Laura the options of…

• Applebee's and dessert this week or…
• Longhorn Steakhouse this week and just a dessert or fast food next week.

She said she would let me know as her tummy is bothering her currently.  She messaged me late last night about severe heartburn.   I told her a glass of baking soda in warm water would take care of it temporarily.  If she doesn't feel like going this week, then I am driving down to the Western Sizzlin and eating their 13oz ribeye solo.  Mono y mono! My waitress and I. 

It’s All Cool in Coolsville…

Laura and I both agreed to remain good friends and nothing anymore serious last night. We will still go out once a week as friends.   She still calls me every night and boy, that girl can talk let me tell you.  I was rather relieved over Laura’s revelation about our relationship.  It got me off the hook.  I was getting in over my head.   She is in love with this guy named Wayne in Statesboro, Georgia.  She wants to go live with him in a little camper trailer in the back of Wayne’s sister’s house.

“Most men just want just what is between my legs,” Laura told me on the phone last night. “But you’re different.  You show me respect. You treat me like a lady.”

Why do some women only like and want the bad guys that treat them badly? Laura is a poster child and glutton for punishment on those regards. She is a tale tell story of abusive, abandoning, and violent relationships.

I, quite early in the relationship I might add, realized Laura was an overly worldly woman – well versed in the seedier sides of life.  It kind of reminded me of the days I hung out down at the Piggly Wiggly with George and the gang. Now, that was a rough bunch. Clara, my homeless friend, loved me, but she would also steal my wallet in a heartbeat.   Laura’s kind of lived a similar tumultuous life it seems for many years until her parents let her move back in a few years ago. It has given her stability and a home – a chance to put her life back together again.

Her last boyfriend, Richard, is completely obsessed with her and sometimes texts her up to 20 to 30 times a day.  He befriended me on Facebook a few days ago no doubt going on reconnaissance missions.  He is a skinny, gangly guy that I am not afraid of so I am not worried about any retribution.  He has been nothing, but congenial with me online. Even going so far as to liking some of my posts.

He Has Met His Match…

I just called my parents at 9am to see if I could come and get my Cokes.  Dad answered the phone sounding absolutely frazzled – his nerves on edge. 

“Olivia! Don’t play on the stairs!” he hollered.  “You all come and eat your sausage and biscuits while they are still hot!!!”

I actually felt sorry for my father as it sounded like his hands were completely full.  I headed over on this already hot Southern morning to get my wares which were a six pack of Sprite Zeros. 

“Who wants to come to uncle Andrew’s house?” I asked my nieces and nephew as they sat at the kitchen table.

I was trying to give my father a break. There was a resounding yes! They all wanted to come to my house to play computer and video games and to see Maggie as well.

“Maybe after breakfast, you can come and get them,” my father told me weakly – his grey mane of hair sticking up on the top of his head in a frizzled manner.

Foyle’s War…

While I was at my parent’s house, my mother gave me the full Blu-ray box set of the British series Foyle’s War.  Is it any good?  Mom just raved over it telling me how good it is.  I vaguely remember hearing about it – that it aired on public television.  Looks like I may have a diversion today.  I also want to get down to the railyard and get some more photos and movies again if the grandkids don’t come over.

Waiting For Charlie…

Maggie is in the front window on the back of couch and whining something fierce.  I mentioned the big C word and she just went nuts.  Where? When? Is he coming?  I am anxiously waiting on Charlie as well.  I am tired. I am starving. I am having withdrawal from my meds which were administered very early yesterday, and I need a good caffeinated Coke and some high fructose corn syrup for a boost.

I just called Charlie and he has just left the house.

Keeper of the Kids…

Mom and dad have all four grandkids staying with them overnight tonight.  I would love to be a fly on the wall when they try to get them all to go to sleep.  There will be giggles and hushed talking when the bedroom door is shut and the lights are turned out.  Dad will poke his head back into the room to tell the girls to go to sleep. Me?  I would sneak over and get on the computer in that room.

Let’s All Shoot Grand Fireworks With Much Revelry…

Well, Charlie arrived at 8:30pm to much fanfare.  Maggie put on a grand show like no other before.  Charlie was smiling broadly and chuckling as Maggie squealed and barked as he walked to the front door.

“She’s been on vigil for an hour,” I told Charlie through my screen door.

“I love you, too, Maggie Lou,” Charlie told her as he got on the couch with her for a back scratch. “I really do!”

Charlie didn’t dawdle and soon had to get home.

“I am running late tonight and have to get Horsefly’s KFC meal to him. He will be starving,” Charlie said.

A Date of a Date…

I never revealed what happened on Laura’s and my date.   It was thundering very loudly with dark and ominous skies when I reached her house.  I warily watched the heavens worried about my windshield wipers which were on their last legs. 

I came inside for a moment to use the bathroom.  Laura’s parents have a beautiful new home in a ritzy subdivision that is immaculate inside and outside as far as cleanliness is concerned. Dad always tells me that they are “good folks” meaning Laura’s parents.

“I’m ready for some fajitas,” Laura told me excitedly as I opened her car door for her and let her climb inside.

Laura was clearly excited about our date.

It is about a 30 minute drive back to the Valley from Laura’s home.  We got on the interstate in my trusty CR-V and hauled ass.  I was hoping to steer clear of that thunderstorm.

We got the steak fajitas for two at El Rio Grande – my mother’s favorite Mexican restaurant.  They were very tasty.  Laura is a 100 pounds wet, but she sure can eat.  She is a tiny little thing belying the only pictures I’ve seen of her on the web which make her look obese.

“Can we go to Sonic for a chocolate shake?” Laura demurely asked me seductively batting her eye lashes.

We headed for Sonic which is just up the road from the Mexican restaurant.   I ordered us two medium chocolate shakes, tipped my server two dollars, and we sat in my running car as we talked and slurped.  She was regaling me about the time she hitchhiked from Pensacola, Florida to Las Vegas, Nevada.

I was glad to be headed back up the interstate to Lagrange afterwards.  The experience had left me exhausted – exhausted mainly by the social interaction and constant talking.  Laura is an extreme extrovert.  The whole date cost $35 dollars which I thought wasn’t really bad.   We are going to Longhorn Steakhouse next week and that will be a $50 meal easily.

photo credit:    http://maurysgaucho.com/?p=341

A Wiggle Here and a Push There…

I was originally going to title this “How not to fix your computer.”  I woke up this morning and my browsing and blogging machine wouldn’t come out of sleep.  I opened the case and wiggled all the many wires and connections.  I pushed the on button and the computer fired to life and then went dead again with the bios saying a power surge was detected.  I thought I was going to have to put in a power supply request to my father and that would make him grumpy at $300.  I wiggled a few more wires and checked all connections and the computer fired to life.  So far, things have been working fine for hours.  I guess I accidentally fixed my computer.  There must’ve been a short somewhere and my wiggling of the wires fixed the problem. 

A Duty Free Do Nothing Day…

I have nothing planned today and I don’t want any plans either.   My highest aspirations for the day are to get down to the tracks and take some pictures and movies of locomotives in action.   Laura just called me with, I am sure, the intent of getting me up something to do.   Homey don’t play that – at least not today.

Horsefly With My Brother and Sister Yesterday Evening…

Mark My Solemn Words…

For the first time ever in my life, I am foregoing and forestalling a new Microsoft Windows operating system.  I have always been a very, very early adopter as Microsoft worked out the kinks with each new OS, but have decided to opt out of this install.  Both of my computers are working fine so why change things? I am reading on WarCraft message boards of compatibility problems with high end graphics cards and their drivers with regards to updating to Windows 10.  I don’t want to stay up all night troubleshooting a graphics card and different drivers. Another niggling thing that bothers me is that I won’t have install discs.  Of course, I could torrent them, but that would be copyright infringement and I would then have to fiddle with and worry about activation cracks.     

Glass Half Empty–Glass Half Full…

I so wanted it to rain today and it is raining softly and comfortingly tonight. Drops of rain can be heard gently dropping off the eaves of my house.  I also wanted to see the blue moon tonight as well.  I will have to wait for that it seems.  Maybe if I stay up really late, the rain will stop, the clouds will clear, and I will get to see my full blue moon.

It is 10:35pm and I am still waiting on Papa and the medications.  He will not answer his phone so I feel sort of amiss and out of the loop.  Mom is not answering at home so something is certainly amiss.  This is when it sucks when some other person has control over some aspect of your life.  What would my father do if just decided I needed to take a car ride about the time he normally brings my medications?  He would be livid of course. “You know you take your medications at 9 to 9:30pm!”

Update – my father jovially arrived at 11:20pm tonight in good spirits with my medications. I squashed and quelled any ill feelings I had towards him just to see him and to know he was okay.  I really do worry about my father getting DUIs.  He is so aloof about it all and doesn't realize how serious it all is. You can get a DUI by just drinking one large glass of wine.

“I had to help Charlie clean up,” my father said in excuse of his late arrival. “Charlie had 56 party goers in all.”

Charlie had fixed me a big plate of food which my father had brought to me.  There were spicy and sweet baked beans, tangy German potato salad ala my father, crispy and crunchy tator tots, and three smoky grilled hamburgers.  On a separate plate, was a slice of Charlie’s signature chocolate pie.

Photo Credit:   http://kemidele.com/2015/02/11/feb-11-happy-dont-cry-over-spilled-milk-day/