My first diaper change……

Bear with me here. I have lots of stories of the holidays and this one may seem unpleasant.

Last night I and my family ate roast beef sandwiches and then all decided to watch a movie on DVD. I had stayed over there all day. My parents just recently got a DVD player. It took me two hours to show my mother how to use it one day and she still calls for more instruction. I try to be patient with her lack of technological know how.

Anyways, back to the story, we were waiting for my brother to get out of the shower. He is a clean freak and can wash his hands thirty times a day. This was his third shower for the day. Like I have said before; my brother, the physician, has obsessive compulsive disorder. That makes him being a doctor all the more ironic with him being around blood and sickness all day long.

My sister in law, Jennifer, had run out to buy some…uhmmm…. feminine personal hygiene products. Little Lilly, my niece, sat on the floor rolling and giggling on her baby mat. It was just me and my father sitting in the room watching her with awe. It brings tears to my eye’s to see her sometimes. I wish I and Rachel could have worked out and we could have had a beautiful baby together.

As Lilly lay there, her face turned bright red. She stared to grunt and squeal. She lay on her back and held her legs high above her. Her face turned even brighter red.

“Do you think something is wrong with her Dad?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Pick her up and see.” He replied.

I picked her up and it hit me. A terrible stench wafted up from her. She wiggled with gusto and squealed with great joy.

“arggggg!” I said as I coughed and gagged. “I think she had to potty.”

“Well, change her then!” my father said as he laughed.

“I have never changed a baby. You raised three kids so you change her.” I replied back with a stern look on my face.

“No, no, your mother did all the baby stuff. You are going to have to do it. I will gag and throw up. I have just eaten.” My dad said back like a pussy.

“You owe me one. You really, really owe me one.” I cried back acting angry.

So here goes nothing. I unbuttoned her bottoms and slid them forwards. I pulled out the baby wipes and a clean diaper. All the time Lilly was just loving the whole affair and wiggling like a wiggle worm. I undid the diapers and slid them off. Argggg! I almost gagged. How can something so cute smell so darn bad? I then took out the baby wipes and wiped her clean. I almost had to turn away to do this. I wrapped it all up in the diaper and set it on the coffee table so I could put on a new diaper.

“There you go sweetheart. You are all sat now.” I said to her in a high, womanlike voice.

She just giggled and smiled at me. My heart melted. My brother and his wife are so lucky.

Then something unexpected happened. My brother had brought his dog name Doc with them and doc grabs the dirty diaper off the table and runs towards the back of the house.

“Get that diaper!!!!” My dad cried as we both got up and ran after that dog. We finally caught him and pulled the diaper from his mouth before a mess ensued.

As you can see, my first diaper change was eventful.