I and my father just had a wonderful heart to heart talk on the phone today. It was just like old times. We used to talk like this during my younger years. I admire the man so deeply and I always felt I could never live up to us expectations. I went for years feeling like a failure as I couldn’t live up to aspirations. You don’t know what it means to me when he says he loves me and is so proud of how good I have been doing lately. We mainly talked about football (as he is obsessed) and discussed the upcoming Georgia vs. Auburn game tonight. He insisted that I attend the vaunted Alabama vs. Auburn game next weekend telling me I have to be there as my brother was coming from San Diego. All this truly warmed my heart and made my day today.
Our relationship has come such a long way. I do so look up to the man. During my homeless days he scorned me and wouldn’t have anything to do with me. It was heartbreaking for me. I was very mentally ill at the time and a raging alcoholic so I can now understand his reservations about dealing with me. I know he loves me as I am his first born and he only wanted the best for me. He often says that I had the highest IQ out of all his children and my younger siblings both went on to become doctors. My father couldn’t understand this. It exasperated him. He felt I had so much potential and was pained when I couldn’t aspire to grander aspirations. That is one of the hardest parts of schizophrenia is that it robs you of so many opportunities. It has taken years for my father to come to terms with my mental illness.
Not much as gone on today other than a walk down the Piggly Wiggly for my usual snack of chocolate milk and cheese on wheat crackers. Saturday is the Pigs busiest day and the groupies were out in full force. There was George, Weasel, Cap w/Tag guy, Slop, and… HIV/AIDS guy!?!? Yes, much to my surprise someone had evidently bailed him out of jail.
HIV/AIDS guy was much more subdued today. He wasn’t even wearing that tattered hospital identification band. He did ask me if he could borrow five bucks to “get something to eat.” He said he had sold his EBT food stamps card and gave them his PIN number. I didn’t fall for that ruse at all. I was not about to finance his crack pipe filling which would have been the case.
George had been drinking really heavily today and it concerned me. He reeked of alcohol. He had driven his car down to the Piggly Wiggly. I asked Slop if he planned on driving home. Slop told me he usually does. If George gets another DUI then he will loose his driver’s license for a year. I pleaded with George so I could drive him home. He told me he wasn’t that drunk and could make his on way home just fine. Slop thought all of this was funny and laughed. I gave Slop a stern look and told him to shut the hell up.
I finally had to leave as the sun had grown low on the horizon and air was becoming chilly and I only had on a light jacket. I bid the gang farewell and started the walk home. The thoughts of George getting arrested weighed heavily on my mind, but there was nothing I could do. He was adamant that he was fine to drive and I had no way of getting his car keys. He could have easily walked home. I guess I am a terrible friend for letting that happen. I just hope that tomorrow if I go down to the Pig I will find a George with nothing more than a hangover and no overnight jail terms.
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