Vagabonds in my Vehicle

I went for an early morning drive just to get out of the house this morning. I woke up very early and couldn’t go back to sleep. I took a long drive out into the country and then I swung on by the shopping center to buy my usual bottle of Gatorade on my way home. I got to see Big S this morning along with HIV/AIDS Guy. HIV/AIDS Guy was busier than a cat covering up shit trying to solicit donations from people coming from their cars in the parking lot. He would hit one poor victim up for money and then instantly move on to the next victim. It was so frantic to watch that it grew tiring just to see it.

“He must be hard up for crack today,” I told Big S as I sat next to him drinking my Gatorade.

Big S laughed and said, “That nigga don’t give up till he gets a dollar. People will believe that bullshit he says too.”

“You know, if he put that much effort into a job then he would have a steady income,” I replied.

“Shit man, dat nigga would steal wherever he worked blind for a crack rock,” Big S replied. “As soon as he got paid, he wouldn’t show up for work for being high on dat shit.”

“True,” I replied.

HIV/AIDS Guy then saw me sitting next to Big S and made a beeline straight towards me. He always bugs the shit out of me for cigarettes. HIV/AIDS Guy just drives me fucking crazy.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath when he saw me.

“Hey man, you ain’t got any cigarettes, have you?” He asked as he walked up.

“How many times have I told you that I don’t want to promote the early demise of an already dying man,” I replied with a smirk.

“I ain’t got AIDS,” He said. “I am just HIV positive.”

“You tell everybody that you are dying of AIDS to get money for your medications,” I replied. “What is the truth?”

HIV/AIDS Guy really isn’t HIV positive at all. That is just his panhandling spiel to sucker people into giving him money. I and all the gang know this.

“Man, why do always gotta be like dat?” He asked.

“Because cigarettes are fucking expensive and I don’t have a lot of money,” I replied. “And besides, I think you are full of shit and I don’t like you.”

Big S burst out laughing. It was contagious and I started to laugh and smile as well. This pissed HIV/AIDS Guy off completely.

“Fuck you, you white ass honky,” He yelled and then stomped off.

“Good riddance,” I said as he headed across the parking lot towards another unwary victim.

I told Big S goodbye and walked back down to my car. This VERY rough lady came walking up to me and asked me for a ride just outside of Fred’s dollar store. Her hair was wild and she looked like she needed a bath. She looked completely disheveled and unkempt. I kind of felt sorry for her. I have too much of a soft heart sometimes.

“Where do you need to go?” I asked.

“Over by the neighborhood behind the police station,” She replied.

She seemed familiar and I think I have given her a ride before.

“Come on and get in,” I said.

She climbed into the car and as soon as I had gotten out of the parking lot she started to hit me up for money.

“You ain’t got ten dollars so I can buy a ride down to Opelika?” She asked.

“I’ve got two dollars to my name,” I replied.

“Will you take me down to Opelika?” She then asked.

A round trip to Opelika would be an hour drive. I only had a half tank of gas.

“I’ll take you over behind the police station like you originally asked, but I am not driving all the way down to Opelika,” I replied.

“Just let me out of car here at this gas station,” She said very tersely. “I am dying of thirst.”

I let her out and was kind of glad to be out of that situation. She apparently had money to buy something to drink. That’s the deal with some of the people that often hang out down at the shopping center. They usually have more money than me, but are always asking me for some. I have learned to see through the bullshit. That lady really didn’t need a ride. She just saw an opportunity for getting me in the car as a captive victim to try and get money out of me.