Monday, September 24, 2007

Two Car Garage

I was pleased to learn from George this afternoon that Ferret has a more sheltered place to stay. He moved into the heated garage of a house not far from me. The house is actually right across the street from my grandmother's house.

"Everything he owned fit in a brown paper bag except his sleeping bag and tent," George solemnly told me. "I gave him a ride up from the river. There wasn't much to move. It was sad."

"What happened to his t.v., clothes, and all the stuff at Monte's house?"

"I guess Monte threw it away or sold it," George replied. "He never came back to get it."

That made me sad hearing that. Ferret tried so hard to work, take his medications, and hold things together while he lived with Monte. All those things were hard earned and were not charity from his friends.

It is a humble start, but a garage is a much sturdier shelter than a tent in the woods. Ferret's so called landlord is a known drug dealer, though, so that alarms me about the situation. My grandmother was always complaining about the activity late at night at that house across her street. Ferret might have a drinking problem, but nothing would be worse than getting hooked on crack. I hope he keeps his head firmly upon his shoulders. With winter coming on, he needed a place to sleep that is warm and dry and I guess that garage will have to do.

George went on to talk about his mother. I adore George's mom and what George told me concerned me. George's mother is in her eighties and growing frail. I love how she always calls me, "baby."

"She's getting real forgetful," George said. "She left the oven on after cooking a pan of biscuits the other morning."

"I've done that," I replied, trying to assuage George's worries.

"That is not the only thing," George went on to tell. "She keeps asking me who some of my cousins are. She doesn't recognize them."

My grandmother had Alzheimer's and didn't even know her own son in the later stages of the disease. This news didn't bode well.

"Aricept," I told George.

"What?"

"Aricept is a medication for senility and Alzheimer's. Ask her doctor about it."

I had to spell it out as George wrote it down. He assured me that he would get his mother to the doctor in the next few weeks. I would hate for something to be wrong with Mrs. Jones. She is such a dear old soul.

I seem to have the sharks circling in my comment section just waiting for me to falter and fail. It is rather amusing, in a way, that someone would expend all that energy just to take delight in my downfall and tell me about it. I was expecting some, "I told you so's," but not just so soon. I've been through much damn harder times than just having a morning drink and a lunchtime beer. I lasted six months homeless in the woods by sheer determination. Don't count me out just yet. I get tired of everything having to be so black and white -- so polarized and divided. I see it in every facet of our society these days.

I am headed back down to the old cotton mill to camp tonight. I just have to wait on my father to bring my nightly medications. I am going to sit in my tent Indian style until late in the evening as I listen to the radio from far flung cities like Chicago and New Orleans after dark. Looking out my tent door at the horizon over the Chattahoochee -- a skyline that brings me joy. I may even build a small fire outside my tent. I went and bought a pint of Southern Comfort to keep me company and to chase away the blues. It is going to be grand and much needed evening. I will feel like the hobos of yesteryear.

17 comments:

simonsays said...

No judging, just caring. (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

No one is judging you or taking pleasure in your situation.
We are all just worried that you are heading back from whence you came and nobody wants to see you do that.
You have so much to stay sober for and to risk it all to drink?????

Anonymous said...

Andrew it really doesn't seem like you WANT to change. If you did you would be more driven to change the things that you hate and the ugliness you presume you have inside of yourself. You're a smart guy, don't piss it away.

Anonymous said...

I feel sad. You sound just like my son did just before he went downhill...bigtime. It took him a long time to recover.

Please get help. You have so much going for you and are a warm and caring person.

Le Fleur said...

(((hugs)))

Maybe someday I'll have the courage to get a houseboat and sail out to faraway places. Maybe I'll get that motorcycle too. You're really an inspiration, Andrew and I don't think anyone wants you to fail no matter what aspire to.

Anonymous said...

i think you are a big fake! you are making fun of the really mental ill people and alcoholics in the world by patronizing them.

Ropheka said...

Nice Blog :)

Le Fleur said...

Hmmm...Anonymous comments are making me think that you are correct in thinking that sharks are circling. I hope you are having a blast in your tent, but I worry about the alchohol. Be careful, Andrew, we all love you.

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

I am glad you were able to give George some advice to help him better care for his mother. I have truly loved each story of her that you had told us. She is indeed a gift.

PipeTobacco

Windrider said...

Hi Andrew,

I'm concerned for you. Are you sure this isn't a manic phase?

All of the sudden you are camping out again, drinking again, etc...

Please be Very Careful Andrew..

I'm sorry but this seems like a very bad thing happening here. I could be wrong, but I care.

Do your Father and Rosa know that you are drinking again? I'll bet they don't. Please don't keep it from them. Get back to your doc and let him/her help you.

You are a strong guy Andrew, you can beat this.

Screw the "sharks" in the comment section...

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Stacy said...

(((hugs)))
Be safe out there Andrew!!!

Eric said...

When I first read about your camping out by the old cotton mill a while back, it didn't appeal to me. I was glad that you had a spot to get away, but it didn't appeal to me. Now, after reading more about the place, I am wishing I had a spot like that and could or would take a few days and get away like you. I know it sounds like a far more relaxing "vacation" than any I have taken in awhile.

mago said...

Hey Andrew, hope you keep your act together. Sad for Ferret so. Just ignore the bullshit.

Katie said...

You are on a slippery slope. I suffer from mental illness and addiction as well and even I know that teetering on the edge can lead to a huge leap to the bottom, quickly. I miss my old life all the time. I want the comfort of the red wine, the smooth taste of Jack Daniels, a nice cold Killians; but I know better. I play the tape through, think of all the things I stand to lose, the relationship I've mended that will only be broken. Play it through. Just play the whole tape through.

Beautifully Profound said...

I don't think anyone who desires to be a drunken homeless person is faking a mental illness. Anyone who desires to lead that kind of life has to be mentally ill. I am sure if Clara had a bit of sanity in her she would chose not to be homeless and drunk all the time. Alcoholism is a terrible disease and it cannot be fought on the battle front alone. Andrew you need serious help. You should see if you can find a dry out center and maybe try rehab. Because unfortunately you are going no where fast and you stand to lose a lot. Take care and be safe.

Portia said...

i'm glad you are getting to camp out a bit before the cold weather gets here. may sound trite by now, but do be careful:)