Comment Replies...

Just some random thoughts...

1) I do not see a real issue with using your disability funds for any of your day-to-day expenses, including tobacco if it fits within your budget. Having your father buy tobacco with other funds is helpful for your pocketbook, granted, but I do not see the logic in saying YOUR disability income should not be used for "sinful" things (which I find odd to call tobacco). The same could be applied to any non-essential (soda, brand new clothes beyond what is needed, etc).

2) In terms of the car... the old one is yours, and you should do what you wish with it. But, donating or giving it to someone in need is a kind thing to do, if you feel so inclined. 

3) Your Mother's vehicle... do you really want it? Does it really matter if you have that one or your old one? Both are strong and run well and are able to be maintained to stay very functional. Will having your Mother's vehicle come at a cost in terms of your lifestyle or your freedoms? Could you Mother's vehicle be the one given to the friend in need? 

4) Do you really need to further upgrade your computer systems? Is there any inherent benefit for you to do so now? I know you love to tinker with them, but is a modest improvement over what you have worth all the money and cajoling and fussing between you and your Dad to do it? At some level the work you have to do to get your Dad to get you the myriad of parts and pieces seems like it would be more emotionally draining than it is worth. 

5) Of late it seems to me that you may have lost some of your vim and vitality to live life robustly. It sometimes seems like you may be feeling caged in and "squashed" as a person. You used to often write about ambitions and goals and aspirations, but lately it seems those thoughts have been quelled in your psyche. It seems that it would feel sad to not have those aspirations any longer. But, I cannot say for sure, because it really depends on how YOU are feeling about your current situation. But, I wonder and worry a bit that all the discussion about your cable system and computer parts may be a way to mask your inner thoughts and feelings, perhaps even from yourself? 

These are just some thoughts that have been percolating in my mind for a while. If I am way off base, then I apologize and ask you to disregard them. But, perhaps these ideas may be helpful for you. I do not really know.

PipeTobacco

Dear Pipe Tobacco,

!) I honestly see no real harm in spending disability funds on tobacco except in this anti-smoking environment we live in some taxpayers might revolt.  I have to be hyper-vigilant as far as Social Security goes, though. I couldn't work and if they audited my account and saw that I was spending $200 a month on tobacco worries me so I am inclined to go along with my father. It is a moot point, really, in that I couldn't afford to pay for it with my disability funds anyway and still be able to pay my bills, groceries, etc.

2) I really don't know what to say to this as I am getting the same kind of gift from my father, but my car is getting very old and it has been so long since we decided to do this that Mrs. Sandra may already have a newer car by now. I also feel she, knowing her well, will be offended by our "charity".

3)I do want my mother's car. It is a very nice car in terms of its style and reliability, It will be much more reliable than my much older Honda. It also has only 52,000 miles on the clock and is a much newer model year than my car as well.

4)Pipe, I am an enthusiast as regards to computers. It is my hobby much as pipe smoking is to you. Yes, it will probably be arduous as far as my father is concerned, but I am willing to tackle the challenge. It would thrill my soul to have a new and awesome Threadripper processer based computer sitting next to me on this desk. Quite frankly, my computers are my life as most of my idle time is spent on them. They are also my entertainment with regards to movies, TV, and music. 

5)Pipe, as you know, I suffer from a mental illness. My vim and vitality for life ebbs and flows at times. Lately, I just want to be as comfortable as possible as to avoid any mental anguish I experience quite often from moment to moment.  My medications can also blunt my zest for life -- the zombie effect as I tell my father and Charlie. They are a double edged sword. It has also been really hard these past few years living without alcohol and having a drink every now and then. I keep wanting some kind of escape from reality. My house of cards would come crumbling down if I started back drinking, though. I am just being honest about that last sentence. 

Andrew