Just having one of those bad nights I have from time to time. I called my father and he is all the way up in Alexander City visiting with my sister’s family. He wanted to see his grandkids. He should be headed home about now as it is just after 10pm. He wasn’t much company over the phone. I pray he didn’t show up at my sister’s house still buzzed from the ballgame bar scene.
I guess it is normal to feel this way. Especially the lonely part. I wish I had some kind of counterpart with me to keep me company. I am so desperate I am having thoughts of Tuleana tonight. She called me this morning and said she would call me again tonight. I also think the depression has a lot to do with SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is getting dark just after 7pm here and it depresses me. I seem to live in the dark ages at nights.
This is when the alcohol monster rears its ugly head. I want to drive down to the package store in West Point and nurse a pint of Southern Comfort or some such liquor. I know it is self medicating my problems, but I would feel instantly better. Is it that bad of a thing? Just thinking “aloud” here.
Later After Midnight…
I remembered my Auschwitz Mantra suddenly and immediately got to feeling better. My life looked kind of rosy after all. I’ve got so much to be thankful for!!!
2 comments:
Honey, you and me both. Winter gives me the doldrums as I've heard you put it. I am sitting here nursing my third glass of red wine for the night. I am actually worried about the calories more than being completely buzzed at the moment. I wish I could fly you up to here or I come down there as we both need the company. The laptop and cat are just not doing it for me tonight. Hugs, and know that you are not alone. Charlie will be there with breakfast along with a morning sun and things should look better I hope.
Your friend,
Jennifer
Thank you Jennifer!! NO NOT TUT! NO NO NO!! Rosa cleaned up, remember? Anyone but Tut! And yes, the Seasonal Affective Disorder. There is a special light bulb you can buy that goes in your regular lamp, you maybe want to Google that.
I have always been a fan of the good old fashion "pairs" system. You could say it started on the Ark. LOL But yeah, I think everyone should live in pairs. Just another human based on interests, a room mate system kinda sorta. I especially think it would be good for people with Depression/Loneliness and seniors. I don't do well out there on my own....
I hope you are feeling better. I just saw this post, sorry. Swear I was here just a bit ago....
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