George has been bugging me for weeks about bringing him some pornography off of the internet. He said he heard that you can find anything your heart desired and you can if you know where to look. I am not one much for porn as most of the women that are featured seem fake and unobtainable. My medication also completely blunts my sex drive so I have very little interest. George is interested in a different kind of porn though than that. Here is today’s conversation and what entailed.
“I be wantin’ to see some thick women off dem internets,” George said.
By thick, George means heavy set.
“What do dey call dem big bitches on there?” George asked.
“BBWs,” I said.
“BBWs?” asked George. “What dat be?”
“Big Beautiful Women,” I replied.
“Now we be talkin’,” George said. “How bout bringin’ some pictures down for me and Slop to look at.”
I laughed.
“Black or white?” I asked.
“I like ‘em chocolate,” George replied.
“How big do you want them?” I asked.
“Dat baby gotta have back!” George exclaimed meaning a big ass.
“George if I brought you a few pictures you would be constantly bugging me for more,” I said. “I don’t want to get involved in all of that.”
“Ah, come on, help a brotha out,” George said.
“George, get your own computer and get hooked up to the internet.” I said. “That way you can look all day if you want to.”
“Yo ass know I don’t know nothin’ bout computers,” George said.
I just chuckled and lit up a cigarette. We sat there for a few moments in silence as George mulled over his options to obtain porn.
“So, you ain’t gonna help a brotha out?” George asked again.
“Drop it George!” I said sternly as I laughed again.
George just laughed along and said something about going down to the county library to look. I would like to be a fly on the wall as that would be an interesting altercation. I am sure that would go over like a lead balloon with the resident librarians. I can just picture George trying to do it though.
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