When my mental illness rears it’s ugly head, I usually turn tail and hide. This can often mean falling silent and going to bed for a few days. Just warning a few of you if that happens.
I have had trouble discerning reality from fantasy tonight. I also constantly hear what is like a car door shutting outside and it is literally driving me crazy.
I have had trouble discerning reality from fantasy tonight. I also constantly hear what is like a car door shutting outside and it is literally driving me crazy. Add my social phobias to the mix and the door shutting sound makes my heart race and anxieties roil as I fear I have company or strangers coming over.
I and Charlie finished painting my den, computer room, and bedroom today. We painted them this beautiful beige/olive color that I really liked. I will try and get some pictures up for Annabel if I feel like driving over. All that is left is my laundry room, bathroom, and kitchen. I hope to be moved in soon. I am waiting on one of the workers to add the wood trim around the windows in the laundry room and to put linoleum down on the kitchen floor. That’s about it and I will be ready to move in. Those of you that have read me for years were probably wondering if this new house was just a figment of my imagination as the remodeling was so long and drawn out. I assure you it’s the real deal. The house is paid for and just awaiting occupancy.
Well, I am about to take an extra dose of my anti-psychotic (usually that makes me sleepy) and try my hardest to sleep. I have usually been in the bed for hours by now. I hate it when I feel like this. My mind is so buzzy and my thoughts so chaotic. I am sure my dreams will be just as vibrant and “crazy” tonight as my waking hours this evening. I hope you all have a good day tomorrow and I will try not to make my silence last too long. Good night.
5 comments:
Hi Andrew,
I hope you find some rest, and feel better soon! I'll be thinking of you.
- Grad007, grad007.blogspot.com
I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Get some rest and know you'll be missed. Each time you mention your anxiety about real or imagined car doors slamming, it reminds me of why I hate it too. I'll have to share that with you one day.
I can't wait for pictures... but really I can. Get some rest and post some when you can.
Hope you had some sweet dreams dear friend. I moved into this house and I am struggling with odd noises myself. I also feel as though I am looking over my shoulder a bit more often as well.
It will go. By and by.
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