A check arrived in the mail. I was just taking out my 24 empty cans of diet coke I drank today in the trash, and I checked my mailbox. In it was an issue of Wired! magazine and a check from one of the advertising companies I used for awhile.
"GET DRUNK!" My mind screamed. "THAT'S A SHITLOAD OF MONEY!" My father and mother are out of town. Charlie is bringing my medications tonight and would be clueless as to whether I had been drinking or not. Rosa is spending the night home tonight "YOU CAN GET DRUNK AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW!" I thought as if there would be no consequences.
I immediately got online and started looking for a meeting. I know that stinking thinking all too well and have dealt with it for most of my adult life. It was high time for a meeting. This is what I found...
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Now, I can't see to drive good at night I told myself trying to talk myself out of the meeting. It was that old stinking thinking in full effect. Hell, I would drive an hour in the dark to get some beer when I was drinking and would be an accident waiting to happen. I wouldn't care. I just wanted to get drunk.
I am off to a meeting. I have to leave the house at 7:30 PM to get there before it starts. I'll see you all on the flip-side of this hopefully sober.
13 comments:
WTG Andrew -- this is Super-Great news! I'm sure you realize how determined you are to stay sober & get a job -- isn't it a wonderful 'new' feeling?
Keep us updated as to how the meeting went!
That's working it... good for you.
Lena
Hang in there and keeping you in prayer! So glad you decided to go to the meeting!
I'm rooting for you Andrew. The fact that you recognize the "stinking thinking" is a huge step in the right direction. I bet the meeting will bring something good. Maybe it's the place that you will finally feel as if you fit in. I am proud that you are at least making the attempt. I think that you will make it and be fine. I sure hope so at least.
How come you are not saving your aluminum cans and recycling them for cash? You may want to think about that as it could add up to a tidy sum each month, as much soda as you drink.
Congrats on the windfall! I am glad you are driving to the AA meeting - especially since now you do have the gas money!
Good luck tonight.
We're cheering for you ANDREW! YOU CAN DO IT!
You can do this!! My fingers are crossed...
sharyna
I'm looking at your sobriety counter. Almost 67 days. I'm so proud that you're going to the meeting. I'll be thinking of you, as I usually do.
what I love is how honest you are with the process you had to go through. Amazing. You are so strong and I am really proud of the journey you have to go through every day to keep sober. Keep it up! It works if you work it!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!I know it is so tempting when one has a alot of money. I think too when you start working you might need and want to go to more meetings with getting more money. I remember years ago spending almost my whole check and then had to borrow to pay rent and utilities. I was just thinking one thing that would help you I think is to save the money for things that you want such as new computer and things like that. I have though that you might want to get a telescope to watch the sky better just an idea.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!I know it is so tempting when one has a alot of money. I think too when you start working you might need and want to go to more meetings with getting more money. I remember years ago spending almost my whole check and then had to borrow to pay rent and utilities. I was just thinking one thing that would help you I think is to save the money for things that you want such as new computer and things like that. I have though that you might want to get a telescope to watch the sky better just an idea.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!I know it is so tempting when one has a alot of money. I think too when you start working you might need and want to go to more meetings with getting more money. I remember years ago spending almost my whole check and then had to borrow to pay rent and utilities. I was just thinking one thing that would help you I think is to save the money for things that you want such as new computer and things like that. I have though that you might want to get a telescope to watch the sky better just an idea.
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