It has been another very pleasant day. I could get used to my days being like this -- my life being so calm and serene -- my feeling well and mentally fit. I have the drama of my father coming over tonight, but I am going to do my best to just smile and not let anything get to me. I am going to let the negativity flow past me like water under a bridge.
I still haven't poured out those three beers. They sit beckoning from my laundry cabinet. As I get to feeling better, I can be misguided and think I can drink again -- that those terrible panic attacks were just a fleeting thing. I know I need to pour them out so don't hammer it home and don't remind me. I just keep thinking that I may need them. Or is it that I want them? Rosa would drink them if she knew about them.
Rosa walked to the grocery store in the cold early this evening. She brought home stuff to make a pizza with one of those pre-made crusts. It was delicious. I asked for extra pepperoni and she complied. The pizza was pilled high with my favorite Italian meat. My job was cleaning the kitchen afterwards. I can be kind of anal about the cleanliness of my house so Rosa was careful to clean up after herself for the most part. I just have enough chaos mentally that I want my real, tangible life to be neat and tidy. Everything has it's place in my home.
Rosa left late this afternoon to walk home. It is supposed to get really cold again tonight and she was worried about her pipes freezing. It is going to be a long night without her and I will miss her.
The Homeless Guy got a job!!! I was so excited for him. Email (mailto:TheHomelessGuy@gmail.com) him and encourage him to continue. I know he doesn't want to hear this, but I think the only way he will ever get a home is to work full time, or just work period. He hasn't worked in a traditional sense in years. He doesn't have a rich family doting over him like I do that will buy him a house, and I don't think someone is ever going to just give him a house. I feel this is his last, best hope.
So, tell me about your day! I want to hear from my readers how they are doing. This can't always be about me! I hope you all had a good day and most are settling back into work after the holidays.
27 comments:
I was wondering why you can't get a weeks worth of meds from your dad? Remembering to take them is as simple as 7pm/meds. Rosa could remind you. That's how Fred and I do it. Right before I hand out dessert, we say out loud, "did you take your night pills?" My therapist says that bipolar people need a set routine. I'm working on it.
sharyna
That's very true, Sharyna, I've just found that out recently.
Andrew, I'm glad to here that you had a good day. Though my day was not so good, its a great thing to see that someone had some peace. You keep taking your meds and stay possitive, luv, I know your days will stay bright.
Call Rosa and tell her to let her faucets drip over night so the pipes won't freeze. It keeps the water moving. She can also open the doors under her kitchen sink and bathroom sink, that helps it help that area to stay "warmer".
I'm sooo glad you are feeling better. I know EXACTLY what you are saying about keeping your house in order.
Look at you--44 days and counting beinb sober. Keep up the good work.
Don't worry about your dad. As he sees you're doing better he will realize it and maybe slack off a bit. The pizza sounds good. I like pepperoni also, but the kids don't so we usually get it half cheese half pepperoni.
I'm surprised about the homeless guy and i'll be doubly surprised if he keeps the job. I know that if he can do it, it should be a breeze for you.
Andrew - so glad to hear you are doing well. I had a good day too. It was 20 below when I woke up this morning and it's been up and down all day and now is warming up closer to zero. I got out and played in the snow - built a tunnel from the road to my front door for my little ankle-biter friends who are coming to visit Sunday. I'll post pictures on my blog.
Peace
oh - and DUMP THE BEER! Do it now while you are feeling good and thinking straight.
Just to let you know...I won't ever get tired of hearing about your great days!
"If you hang around a barbershop long enough, eventually you'll get a haircut."
the beers in the cupboard are an accident waiting to happen.
give the beers to ferret, as he will appreciate them. and try to treat your dad as if he were an aa newcomer. that seems to inspire the most compasion. but try to restrain the urge to speak harshly if the mood takes you as it rarely helps.
good luck!
glad you are doing do well. its great!
I had a boss once who was in recovery. I noticed that he had an unopened fifth of vodka in his closet at work. I asked him about it. He said that was part of recovery, that you were always making the choice NOT to drink. It wasn't that it wasn't around, it is around but you choose to not drink.
You know that alcohol is all around you, it's real easy to get it. So the three beers in your laundry room closet may be a source of strength
Lessee...my day... it was very busy, with far too many patients with a lot of problems. I've finally convinced Dr. Browneyes to regulate how many he is willing to see. We don't see easy patients like Dr. Beige, ours have a higher acuity and they need to talk. It's not just a ten minute visit and out the door type thing.
I came home to the usual BS and no dinner cooked like was promised. I was late getting home, so I had to wrap up the food that was left out to cook. Maybe I will get to do it tomorrow night. TYM and I will just snack. The Otis is passed out.
I slept a full 8 hours last night. I'm hoping for the same tonight. Wish me luck.
Ditto what Cheryl said! I do so enjoy reading about your good days. :) Rosa walked to the grocery store in the cold to get pizza fixins because she loves you. :)
My day was hectic and filled with pregnant Moms and new babies and bedlam all around...in other words, just like it always is!
Maybe tonight if your Dad "acts up" you can just imagine him as an annoying fly that will soon leave. I still wish Charlie was the full time pill dropper offer.
Enjoy the evening, Andrew!
Hi Andrew,
My day started off badly- a dear friend who I asked not to call too early and wake me up did so for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. aughhhh!!! sleep is so so precious to me (I only got to sleep around 4 in the morning the night before).
I had some fun posting a new & long crazy blog but couldn't even sleep afterwards with the help of Gravol. Hopefully tonight will be better.
ciao!
Hey Andrew!
I hope your night goes well with your Dad coming over to give you your meds.
Someone mentioned that he might allow you a week's worth, with a reminder you can set up yourself. Sounds like a less stressful situation to me.
Too bad Charlie can't be the one to drop by instead ... you seem so much better when he comes by.
Sleep well :)
p.s andrew
any word on my question about your piano?, and oh yes, I will encourage homeless guy.
: )
Burrr! it's warm here in Haifa in comparison, high of 60, low of 53.
I spent my day packing to move into my new (first) apartment. Here in Israel our week is Sunday through Thursday. The sabbath is sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Peace Andrew.
Andrew,
I have been reading some of your past posts, and I'm glad to hear you are doing better and I so hope it continues for you.
As for my day, well I teach high school and so today was my first day back after the Christmas holidays. I am exhausted! LOL!
Hi Andrew. I'm so glad you had a pleasant day. Thank you very much for asking about mine.
Today I bought an 11 lb. slab of wax with a 50% off coupon at Michael's. I make my own column candles because they're way too expensive to buy. It was an amazing deal, and for $12 I have the wax for about 15 candles.
I also bought a few 75% off Christmas do-dads to help put on a Christmas in February celebration for a family member serving in Iraq right now. (I'm making Christmas cookies twice this year!)
So I had a very nice day making plans for good things in the future.
Hey there, I watched your video blogs, read all of the new blogs that were posted since my visit this morning, and I am about ready for bed. My day was busy, full of administrative tasks that fill my in-basket, waiting for my attention.
I pissed off my son, really bad this evening, and I texted him with a long apology, only to get his two word response, "it's cool"...totally bummmed me out! Sometimes parenting sucks!
o/' the sun has gone to bed and so must I...Goodnight goodnight o/o//
BTW, how do you get to put a little picture in the comment box??? Anyone answer...
Hi Andrew :) I'm so glad you had a good day today!! :)
I love pepperoni too. I bet it was nice to have Rosa cook for you!! :)
I spent my day doing housework. I also found time to work on a scrapbook layout.
It was a good day!! :)
I hope things went well with your father tonight.
My day had been good. I took down the Christmas tree and all the decorations and put everything away. Then I put the furniture back in it's place. The girl helped and we had a nice chat while we worked. Other than that, I had lunch with a friend and after we went to a little thrift shop in the neighborhood. There I bought a game and a book called 'uh oh'. It intrigued me so ... Now I have to read it to find out why they titled it 'uh oh'. I'm glad you had another good day. Keep 'em coming! ac
I'm so happy to see yet another good day!! You sound so positive and wonderful, it warms my heart.
My boys and I spent the day at the science center/museum in Seattle. It was really fun. I'll blog about it tomorrow... I'm just too stinkin tired to do it tonight.
Hugs to you!
When I quit smoking I had a pack of cigarettes with me at all times. I don't know why but it made me feel safer. That was in '88 and I haven't had a smoke since. Maybe it's the same with your beer?
We come here to read about you not to write about us!!! I will never get fed up with what you write.
welp-- i think you read about my day yesterday.
and it is good to read that your day ended so well. i hope you have a very good day today too!!
happy friday!
ey its my first time reading your blog..and i read a couple of entries and its really nice how ur dealing with recovery from alcoholism and schizophrenia, i have HADD and just last year recovered from severe depression and its nice to se how someone, even if we didnt have to struggle through the same stuff, deals with it it makes me feel like i can be "normal" in a way
ill be comming to read some more!
**
Andrew, I am so proud of you! Those 3 beers are just a symbol of your choice to not drink. When I quit smoking, I carried around a pack of cigarettes for at least a year or more in my purse. It was like I would not be denied the choice to smoke. Each day I grew stronger and as I looked at them I could feel pride within for making a good decision.
It is my wish for you that you will continue to work on banishing the negativity. Thank you for your daily blog, so nice to have you for a friend.
barb, the pictures are added to our profiles on blogger and show when we sign in to post.
Post a Comment