I scrambled some cheese eggs, fried some strips of bacon, and cooked several of those frozen White Lily biscuits in my toaster oven. The biscuits weren’t half bad – a little heavy and dense, but extremely edible. They needed more shortening mixed in with the dough, then they would've been perfect, light, and fluffy. I ate mine with a dab of butter and a spread of Smucker’s strawberry preserves. Maggie had two plain biscuits and some cheese eggs for her meal. If you don’t look quick, you’ll miss it as it will be gone.
Please Don’t Mess With Maggie’s World…
Well, I got that old rug rolled up, out of the den, and into my spare bedroom. Now, Maggie can’t jump up onto the couch due to her paw pads slipping on the hardwood floors. She feels like she is going to fall. I need to find a mat (bath mat?) of some kind that won’t slip so she can make her jump. She finally managed to get onto the couch once, but I had to help her down with much protesting and whining beforehand.
The Circle with the K in it…
I have just gotten back from the Circle K down the street to get my SoBe citrus drink for the night. The clerk and I were the only ones in the store and there was no one pumping gas. It felt like the whole town was deserted. There wasn’t a car to be seen on the streets coming down from my house and on the usually very busy highway in front of the convenience store.
“You have a very safe night,” I sincerely told her with a smile upon leaving.
“You, too, sweetheart,” she replied as she counted the handful of change I had given her and then stuck it in the register.
I came home and got a load of laundry started so I will have some fresh smelling and clean clothes to wear to Kamath Medical this morning. Body odor is a big no-no for a socially anxious person. You don’t want to stand out in a crowd or make yourself conspicuous. Inconspicuous is the goal – blend in with the crowded masses.
Photo Credit: http://www.deepsouthdish.com/2008/10/perfect-buttermilk-biscuits.html
Photo Credit #2: http://www.sistersshoppingonashoestring.com/circle-k-polarpopcup-sweepstakes-and-gift-card-giveaway
Tears of Solemn Loneliness…
Do you ever just cry? It’s abnormal in men I think or they would never admit to it and or they hide it well. I had a big desperate sounding sob just a moment ago. I poured my eyes out. I feel so completely alone this morning and my world seems so dark right now. It seems all I have in my life socially is my parents, Facebook, and this journal. My brother and sister have nothing to do with me – ignoring me for the most part. I gave myself a good cry and then wiped the tears away. Stiff upper lip as the British would say. I could really use a good cigarette and a stiff six pack of ice beer right now, but we all know how foolish that would be of me. This too shall pass as they always said in Alcoholics Anonymous.
2 comments:
As someone who has been through some stuff, I know that a good cry is as therapeutic as just about anything. It releases lots of anger, sadness, anxiety, and more. We all have our ups and downs. I wonder how busy your siblings are with work and their families? It is too bad that they do not make time for you, but it is possible that your father has discouraged them from having much contact with you? I know you are socially anxious, but what could you do to bridge that gap?
I also wonder about where you are at cyclically (sp?) with your medicine regime? That could be playing a part into how you are feeling in several ways.
I am an extreme introvert and can stay home and alone for days, but once in a while I know I need a social fix. I am wondering what the possibilities are for you? Is there a model train group in your area? I belong to a Mushroom (mycological) group. They have great presentations every couple months. I can go, listen, and leave. I wonder how comfortable you might be going to some sort of presentation just to be out and about? I think going to something, anything, the first time is more anxiety producing than when you get familiar and regular about it.
You do have some options, albeit, some challenges.
I cry often. And it's normal and natural to do so, EVEN if you're a man. That BS that men "shouldn't cry was taught by ignorant parents. Feel it, purge it, move on. And when you need to do it again, do it again!
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