Is Anyone Out There? Any Malingering Krogers?

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Kroger was absolutely deserted tonight and this proved good and beneficial for this social anxiety ridden old goofy fool. Dad and I pretty much had the run of the store all to ourselves. It was kinda spooky -- like something from an apocalypse or Last Man Standing.

"Zombies? Quick, get the shotgun!"

"Get you plenty of those frozen meals," my father has harped about for the twentieth time recently. "You need some vegetables as well."

I had him walk over and pick out the meals he likes.

"You've just got to get you a few of those turkey and stuffing meals," he told me. "They look delicious."

I told him that packages can be misleading.

"Is this rib meal good?" my father held it up in front of him showing me a big packet of frozen "ribs".

"It tastes just like McDonald's McRib sandwiches and the BBQ sauce is a little sweeter to its demerit," I replied. "You just have to buy a bag of hoagie rolls."

My father tossed them into my grocery cart as I then picked out some of my favorite Tei Pei Asian meals. Dad then headed off to get loaf bread and hoagie rolls. General Tso? Come to Papa, literally.

"Do you need soy sauce?" my father asked upon his return.

"I've got plenty at home," I replied.

"I would really like some V-8 juice," I then told my father so we headed for the beverage and fruit juice aisle.

Dad stuck 2 big costly cans in my cart.

"What do you want for your sweets this week?" my father asked with yet another request.

"I want an Edwards lemon meringue pie and some unfrosted strawberry Pop-tarts

Dad went for the Pop-tarts as I had a destiny to meet pie.

The total tally was $97 dollars. It was like I had taken Charlie along with me grocery shopping. I was going to get a 4 pack of expensive $8.99 rechargeable Energizer batteries and now I am glad I didn't.