Eating Myself Out Of House and Home…

I was having such a tough day yesterday addiction wise. I had to use one of my emergency packs of cigarettes from the freezer I was smoking so much. That’s the second time this week I’ve had to do that. I couldn’t quit eating – eating a whole pack of ice cream bars over the course of the afternoon. My house is messy as well and needs tidying up. It is really getting on my nerves. I ate a gigantic 1000 calorie $24 dollar Maverick ribeye steak at Longhorn (the calories are on the menu). I was so frustrated with myself – my seeming lack of self control.

Then, I had to think to myself how blessed I am. We all have bad days. I have Maggie, my dearest. I have a paid for home to come to every night. There was a time I was sleeping in a tent in the woods – no home to call my own hopeless, hungry, and cold. I have a very comfortable and warm bed to sleep in. I also have a very nice and dependable car these days. I guess it is all relative – my addiction problems that is. Maybe today will be a better day food wise and cigarette wise. I did get in a long bike ride last night after I had returned home. I was huffing and puffing coming up the hill to my house at the end of my ride sounding like a steam engine pulling a heavy load.