Neither a Borrower Nor Lender Be They Say…

“Can I borrow $20 bucks?” George asked me as he arrived at work this morning.

“What for?” I asked warily, sounding like my father.

“It’s for sodas and lunch,” George replied. “Momma is being chitzy with her money fearing I will drink on it. I can’t wait for payday.”

I pulled out my wallet and gave George $20 bucks. He thanked me profusely and headed back out to get busy bringing in the carts.

I think Mrs. Florene and I are both warily anticipating payday – fearing George will go back to his old ways. A pretty new liquor store opened up just a mile from Mrs. Florene’s house and it both worries us. George could easily walk down and get a drink. It would be a matter of days before his parole officer downloaded the data off his monitoring device and it would be a go back to jail free card for him – violating parole.

Video Game Mania…

I had a man walk in my department around midnight. He spent a long time surveying the video game cabinet.

“I hear the Wii is for kids,” he told me passingly.

I disagreed, telling him all about the Wii fit and other “party” games that were popular for adults.

“I like the Zelda games personally,” I told him. “And I am 38 years old.”

Halo Reach has been our biggest seller this week – causing a frenzy among Xbox 360 gamers. Just another first person shooter in a video game market glutted with them is my thoughts on the matter. What happened to flight simulators and strategy games? Games that made you think and learn? Not just “twitch” games as I call them.

The man purchased a Playstation 3 and about four games. I told him that soon Sony would be rolling out controllers and capabilities similar to Nintendo’s Wii. He was excited to get home to play. He must have been in his forties which surprised me. I am finding myself having to put in a concerted effort to keep up with video game technology and happenings with me not playing regularly, and they are a big part of our department. 

Sleep, Beautiful Sleep…

I unplugged my landline, turned off my cellphone and I curled up in the bed with Maggie and Caramel after lunch yesterday. It had been about an hour since I had taken the Percogesic dad gave me yesterday morning. I was soundly asleep for hours. I woke up only once when Maggie decided that the room had grown cold and she wanted up under the covers and against my warm back.  I smiled and told her, “Good girl!” and was soon back asleep. The Percogesic made me feel groggy for the rest of the day, though. I could have slept much longer if I wasn’t for my bladder and stomach protesting around 8pm.

I turned back on my cellphone and immediately within moments had a call. I am glad I had turned it off. It was mom.

“Did you get some sleep?” mom asked anxiously. “Helen told me not to bring your plate and it worried me.”

“I finally got a good seven hours of sleep,” I told her.

“I am going to drive over now and bring your supper and your cokes,” mom told me getting off the phone.

Helen’s Friday meal was delicious as I sat in the kitchen and ate as mom watched on and talked.   The meatloaf was especially flavorful – Helen having cooked it to perfection. It was a very nice treat after such a good day of rest. I was starving when I awoke.

“I dread tomorrow so much,” mom said with a very audible sigh.

“Why?” I asked, always amused at my mother’s antics and whims.

“Your father is off of work and will watch football ALL day!”

I laughed deeply, understanding how mom felt.

“It’s not funny!” mom exclaimed. “He will just obsess over it and the TV will be so loud it will drive me crazy. I am probably coming over here with you and the dogs to sleep.”

I smiled and told her we would be glad to have her. It would thrill Maggie’s little soul to lie in the bed all day with mom. Maggie loves mom’s visits more than any other person that visits the house.  Caramel is much more aloof about such matters.

Obsessive Auburn Fans…

“Your father has watched the Auburn game three times today over and over,” mom said as she walked in my house. “He is just obsessed!”

“What are you doing?” I asked, smiling at mom’s exasperation and also surprised at mom’s unannounced visit.

“I just couldn’t take it any more and came over here to be with you where it is quiet. Your father is going deaf and turns the TV up so loud it is maddening.”

I went back to toodling with my computers as mom lay on the bed in the computer room talking about all her problems which she seemingly has many.  Caramel was sleeping on the couch and Maggie jumped up on the bed to be with mom.

“I finally got my pain pills,” mom told me as she lay there on her side. “I was determined not to hurt anymore.”

“Have they helped?” I asked, intrigued.

“Immensely!” mom exclaimed. “I just took two before coming over here. I am waiting for them to take effect. My back and leg is killing me. I have found I have to take two pills to get the best effect.”

Things got quiet after awhile as I looked over at the bed and mom had fallen asleep. I turned down the Bjork CD I was listening to and settled in for a quiet and pleasant afternoon of browsing the web and blog writing.

George’s First Day of Work…

Tomorrow is the big day – a day of reckoning for me. Will George show up for work? Will he work hard and please my old supervisor? I have a friendship in my old supervisor riding on this. I am pretty content that George will do his best. He has always been a hard worker. 

I talked to George briefly on the phone this afternoon.

“Run me by the shot house,” he asked pleadingly.

“No way!” I said. “That is just too much temptation and you don’t need to be spending your mother’s Social Security money on prostitutes!”

George laughed goodheartedly acquiescing and agreed it would be a lot of temptation for just his second day home. I was relieved when he dropped the subject and we started to talk about work.

“What is my boss like?” George asked.

I thought for a long moment about how best to describe her.

“Sexual,” I finally said bluntly.

“Hot damn!!!” George said laughing. “I like a sexy boss!”

I laughed in turn.

I then asked George what Mrs. Florene cooked for Sunday dinner – glad that Mrs. Florene could settle back into her old routines she has performed for years.

“She cooked fried cubed steak, broccoli, rice and gravy, and biscuits,” he said. “You should’ve came and ate with us.”

It did sound wonderful, but I was soundly asleep around noon when Mrs. Florene would be getting out of church and cooking.

Looking Back on a Week in My New Position…

Well, I have now worked six days, eight days counting training, in my new position. I really like my job. I enjoy working at night – always having been a night owl. It is also pleasantly slow and stress free during the early hours of the morning. Derrick says days are gangbusters. My biggest fears were running the point of sale and handling money. I have never been good at math and making change, but the register does that for me thankfully.  Like Derrick said, “Even a monkey could run the point of sales.” Walmart makes it easy for even the most mentally deficient person.

Everynight is pretty much the same. I clock in around 10:50pm and put away my lunch, sodas and snacks, and put on my smock. 11pm to midnight is usually steady with the last customers of the day and then it settles into this quiet calm.  Much of my job is centered around stocking items for sale for the next day. I am also responsible for cleaning up the shelves, fronting the items, and getting things looking neat for the next day. I usually get caught up around 3am when Jim visits me on his lunch break and we talk for awhile.  Then, it is time to goof off and I get out my iPad or laptop. I am finding having the iPad at work to be much more stealthy – easily thrust under the counter when a customer or coworker approaches.  I am going to try blogging with it tonight with a new app Syd suggested. I am still getting used to the onscreen keyboard and the lack of tactile feedback.

I look forward to work tonight – having got lots of good sleep today. Before long, I will be cooking supper, ironing my clothes for work and will take a shower and shave. Just the mundane, daily rituals we all go through when working a job – rituals I didn’t have in my life for eight long years. It has been a pleasant and much needed change in my life – to have purpose and to be self supporting.

Time for a Day Off…

I can see why Ambien can be so addicting.  You quickly become reliant on it to get a good night’s sleep and worry if you don’t take it, you will be miserable without it the next day.  I slept so well again last night – going to bed around 8:00pm and waking up at 4:00am.  Giving me eight good hours of sleep.  I really haven’t slept this well in years.  I also feel so relaxed after taking it – almost as if I took a muscle relaxer.  I got in the bed last night with the biggest smile on my face the covers felt so cool and comfortable, and I was so relaxed and calm.  It had been many years since I felt that way about going to bed often dreading it in that it would often take an hour for me to fall asleep previously.  I was asleep within minutes of laying my head on the pillow thirty minutes after taking the pill and then going to bed. 

A Steak on a Plate…

Dad grilled steaks last night for him and mom.  He brought me by a plate of a large sirloin steak, baked potato, and toasted barbecue bread around 7:00pm.  I had just called him warning him big storms were on the way.

“You were right,” dad said, always so excited about the weather. “The heavens opened up just after you called.  I had just gotten the steaks off the grill.”

It is hurricane week on The Weather Channel and it is hard to get current and local weather information.  Dad is still finding it hard to adjust to using the Internet as a weather resource like I do. His computer just doesn’t interest him.   And our favorite local weather television station, WeatherNow, is broken again as usual much to our chagrin.  Dad couldn’t keep up with the weather last night.

“The Weather Channel is just going to die as far as weather fans go,” dad said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it goes under.”

“They are catering to a mainstream audience now for the advertisement dollars,” I replied. “It was a shame NBC bought them.”

We both have lots of misgivings about the “new” and “improved” weather channel. You know it’s pretty bad when two weather nuts are not watching a channel that is supposed to be devoted to all things weather related. 

Dad didn’t say much last night other than asking me if I had taken my medications.  He is relieved that my current psychiatrist still has me on an antipsychotic still insisting that mom and I are schizophrenic. I like to call myself eccentric these days rather than mentally ill.  I told him she has dropped it to 2mg and he grumbled some. I didn’t tell him that I hoped to be off that antipsychotic before Christmas and that my psychiatrist is working with me on this.  Dad is so medication obsessed – feeling medications are a panacea for all that ails us humans.  I guess it is only natural with him being a pharmacist. 

The Talk…

Stacy and I had a talk last night about our argument over sleeping arrangements the previous night.  She went shopping for beds and realized it was going to be very expensive. She wanted to discuss the “situation” one more time before she put a new mattress and box springs on her credit card.

“I worry about Maggie and Caramel,” I told her. “I don’t think I can get them both in the car to drive over and it would devastate me if one of them would to get away from me. I can’t sleep without Maggie snuggled up next to me as well.”

Stacey sighed, not giving in.  She can be one doggedly determined woman.

“I will start to sleep over one night a week,” I finally told her with a sigh myself. “I will just leave the dogs at home.”

That was all it took to make her happy.  I know she wants to be with me and to sleep in her own bed as well. I can understand that. I will just have to take some Klonopin and an Ambien to be able to sleep over at her house. I am just so set in my ways after all those years of living alone. The things we do for our loved ones.

Just and Cookin’ and a Paintin’….

I got all my windows in the den painted yesterday afternoon.  It took hours in between bouts of cooking and checking the stove. All my windows and trim have this natural pine finish and it looks old and dated – like all that pine paneling that was so popular in the 70’s.  This new cream color I am painting my windows and trim makes the room look so bright and fresh.  I was very pleased with the results.  As busy as I am these days, it is going to take many weeks of off and on painting to finish, though.   

I also cooked tangy chicken, sour cream and mushroom chicken, and beef lo mein yesterday afternoon.  They are all in casserole dishes covered with aluminum foil in the freezer now.  Today, after mowing my lawns, I plan on cooking the spaghetti sauce and the lasagna – mom’s lasagna being a convoluted affair, but oh so delicious.  This will give Stacy and I meals for the ready for nights I just don’t feel like cooking.  I was afraid all that food was going to ruin if I didn’t get busy and do something about it.  I also hate to eat out, which Stacey loves.  But Stacey also loves my cooking so it is a good compromise between us.  She doesn’t cook much.  

Plans for the Parole Hearing…

I talked to Mrs. Florene last night with George’s parole hearing being only over a week away.  We were making plans about how to get down there and who was to drive.  It is about a five hour drive to Atmore, Alabama – just thirty minutes from the Gulf of Mexico.  I had already talked to my supervisor about taking the 9th of September off which will be a Thursday.

“We need to line up a job for George when he arrives home,” Mrs. Florene told me.

“If my business picks up in the next few weeks, then I would like for him to work for me,” I told her.

I told Mrs. Florene about putting business cards in every prescription bag at dad’s pharmacy. I am hoping this will make my business take off.  September is just another summer month this far South.  Our first frost usually doesn’t come until the first of November before all the grass goes dormant for the season.  And then the leaf season begins which I hope will keep George and I busy through November and December.  

“We will just tell the parole board that you are a businessman and he will be working for you!” Mrs. Florene said excitedly.

I kind of cringed some at the hyperbole she was using, but told her I hope it does help George get parole.

I will be so glad to have my friend home again.  It has been so long.  He’s been a faithful friend writing me almost everyday from prison.  George is my “Jay” friend.  Jay was a friend I had when I worked in Calera, Alabama and lived in a little apartment above a pet store.  Jay wouldn’t take no for an answer and would get me out of the house.  It was the perfect fit for a shy guy with social anxieties.  We went to a lot of hockey games over the years I lived in Calera.

Biting the Bullet…

I still feed Joyce’s cat Lucky every morning.  He is anxiously awaiting his can of tuna on the back deck before I drive over to get my diet Sprites for the day. He sleeps under my house on an old quilt i put down for him.  He refuses to be a housecat.  I noticed this morning he had been in a big fight and there was a large sore on the side of his head and it has gotten infected. His left side of his face is swollen. I am going today to buy a pet crate and am going to coax Lucky into the crate with a can of tuna tomorrow after work.  Off to the veterinarian we will go.  I am going to get him neutered and his shots administered while we are there as well.  I am hoping this will stop his tomcat ways and the territorial fighting as well.  He looks beaten and battered these days – worn like he is living a rough life.   It will probably take weeks to regain his trust after this ordeal, though. He is still much like a stray cat and fiercely independent.   I hate to do it, but it must be done.  

A Day in the Life Post…

I set my alarm clock for a change before bed at 7:30pm last night apprehensive about taking the Ambien. I normally just automatically wake up naturally around 3:30am to 4:00am without fail.  I was worried about feeling overly groggy in the morning – worried I wouldn’t wake up for work on time like I normally do.  I will say this for that drug: I got a full night’s sleep for the first time in days – feeling so rested and relaxed this morning. I didn’t have any noticeable side effects.  I was out of the bed with a running start with Maggie and Caramel choosing to continue to sleep in a little longer.  Later, Maggie watched earnestly from the bed as I put on my clothes and then my shoes after my shower – my shoes going on signaling to her that it was about time to drive over to get my six diet Sprites for the day as I never wear shoes in the house.  Maggie excitedly jumped out of the bed along with Caramel as I grabbed my car key and headed out the door.  Maggie’s morning job is to go out barking up a storm to clear the way for my departure and quick return.  We do this every morning without fail. This ritual is as important to Maggie as it is to mom and I.   I listened to a Smashing Pumpkins CD foregoing my usual NPR on the drive this morning feeling aggressive and adventurous.

On the drive over to mom and dad’s, I noticed how old my CR-V seemed now with me driving such a much newer and more pristine car – mom’s car being so noticeably quieter mechanically – everything running like clockwork.  It was tempting to mash the gas peddle and enjoy the much more powerful engine in mom’s car compared to my CR-V. I guess I am just a “boy racer” at heart.  

I arrived home with my “cokes” as we call all soft drinks in the South and turned on Coast to Coast AM to catch the tail end of tonight’s subject of interest as I packed my lunch for work, filled my water bottles with tap water and ate a honey roasted turkey sandwich and an oatmeal cream pie for breakfast – an unorthodox breakfast for me at best. I am usually an eggs, bacon, grits and toast kind of guy.  I drank my six diet Sprites compulsively after chilling them on ice in my freezer for about 15 minutes.  “Can I ever do anything in moderation?”  I thought.  It is either all or nothing – the bane of my existence. That’s why I don’t buy the drinks as I will drink them all in a day. My and mom’s routine helps me moderate my intake and moderate my wallet’s outtake as well. 

Work was as routine as it ever gets which was nice in a way if not boring.  I clocked in at 4:55am, put my cooler of bottled water nearby where the greeter usually stands and immediately got to work gathering all the carts in my organized fashion – carefully gathering all the strays into long strings to be pushed inside with my mechanical pusher.  Then going back out to gather all the carts in the caddies. It was overly cool for me this morning with me being so cold natured and I could have worn one of my fleece pullovers to be more comfortable.  It also took longer than usual for me to get caught up this early morning with eight rolling around before I could take a break and visit the electronics department to see Derrick.  Stacey was off of work today. Derrick told me like Carlos that the iPad was just a glorified iPhone with a bigger screen. That didn’t daunt my enthusiasm I felt for the contraption though. The rest of the day was slow with me doing busy work such as cleaning the parking lot to fill my time in between bouts of wandering about the store and obsessively checking the weather on my Blackberry. I was so hoping for storms today.  We had a thirty percent chance. I also spent some time with my supervisor talking about various work related subjects – us having become great friends these past few weeks.  She can still be kind of creepy as far as her advances towards me go, but I still love her to death anyway. 

I arrived home from work to find Sadie had been brought over during the day.  Stacey left me a note on the kitchen counter saying she was headed to the mall in Auburn to shop for clothes and wanted Sadie to be with Maggie and Caramel and to not be alone at home for all that time.  I was glad to see Sadie here. I took off all my clothes down to a t-shirt, socks and underwear and curled up in the bed with all three dogs joining me – all three dogs hoping we were going to take a nap.  I turned on the TV in my bedroom to CNN to find them talking about Tiger Wood’s recent divorce and quickly turned it back off feeling there were much more important things going on in the world than that kind of crap for CNN to be wasting air time on it. Itchy and Scratchy (Sadie and Maggie) immediately got to work doing their usual pre-nap routine of vigorously digging at their imaginary cooties – scratching and carrying on furiously, shaking the bed. I dozed off for a few moments until there was a knock on the door – the dogs all starting to bark like crazy.  I jumped up, quickly putting on my shorts and answered the door.  It was the Fed-Ex guy with my iPad.  I had been anticipating this moment all day. I was so excited. I even dreamt about it last night. 

I furiously unpacked my new gadget and began charging it next to the bed.  It immediately connected to my wireless network without problems.  I was browsing and reading blogs within moments – extremely happy and overjoyed.  It was the best money I had spent in a long time.  I caught up on my daily reads with Google Reader until I could stay awake no longer.    

I awoke about four hours later to the sound of a key opening my front door.  The air conditioner had gotten stuck on again and it was just freezing in my house.  All the dogs immediately jumped to alert status at a visitor at the door.  It was Stacey after her shopping trip. I got up and set the heat to 80 degrees. The thermostat read 71 degrees in the house. Brrrr!

“Are y’all going to sleep all day?” Stacey said with a beautiful smile and laugh as she walked into my bedroom with several shopping bags with us all back in the bed.  Sadie’s and Maggie’s tails were wagging wildly and Caramel would be wagging hers if she had one.  “I bought some more work clothes and shoes to keep at your house for when I stay over. It was a good excuse to go shopping!  I had a girl’s day out.”

Stacey stripped herself of her clothes as I watched on like a dirty old man – putting on one of my well worn and comfortable extra large cotton t-shirts after taking off her bra and climbing into the bed with us with her laptop.  It was a lazy and really nice day.  I got caught up on some much needed rest.  I grabbed my IPad and joined Stacey in browsing the Web. 

“What would you like for supper?” I sleepily asked Stacey around 5:30pm as I was reading the archives of one of my favorite blogs. “I could cook, but I am entirely too lazy at the moment to be bothered.”

Stacey browsed to Papa John’s website using my account and ordered us a pizza to be delivered.  I grabbed my wallet off the chest of drawers next to the bed and gave her twenty dollars telling her she was in charge at that point. I didn’t want to leave my iPad or the bed.

It took an hour for our pizza and breadsticks to be delivered.  Stacey got to complaining about the delay, but I didn’t mind.  I was completely enthralled with my new toy.  They finally arrived as Stacy pulled on her pants to answer the door and we ate pizza in bed as we continued to browse – the dogs getting their fair share as well. The dogs were effective organic vacuums of crumbs and pizza crusts keeping the bed clean.

I eventually got out of the bed to come to my computer in the den after Stacey had fallen asleep after some amorous affairs and wrote this blog post for the day.   A grand and utterly lazy day if I do say so myself.  These kind of days are made in heaven. I am about to take my Ambien and head to bed for hopefully another good night’s sleep. Work beckons in the wee hours of the morning. I want to get at least eight hours of sleep tonight and will set my alarm for 3:30am.        

Caramel Says, "Good Morning!"

Caramel and I have already been out for our potty break this morning. This time she followed Maggie through the dog door and I lavished her with praise. "Good girl!" I said in excitement as I rubbed her vigorously. I am hoping house training for her is going to as easy as it was for Maggie. Maggie was no trouble at all being as smart as she is. Maggie, though, got to barking up a storm this early morning at a possum in the pecan tree in Joyce's yard. "Maggie?!" I exclaimed, worried about the neighbors. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" Maggie and Caramel both came tearing back inside and I fed them both some Beefaroni as I locked the dog door so Maggie couldn't go back out and bark up a storm. I was careful to put the Beefaroni on separate foam plates so there wouldn't be any fights over food. I then cooked some grits and cheese toast for breakfast.

 

2pm Will Mark 3 Days...

2pm will mark three days without a cigarette. They say the nicotine gets out of your system after three days and I will be relieved to have some peace from that anxious feeling I have constantly -- the constant need to smoke. Stacey has just been amazed at my will power. I told her she is dating an "all or nothing" fellow as I will either smoke lots of cigarettes or smoke none at all. It does work in my favor at times -- especially when I decided to go for my independence from my family. I can just have this dogged determination at times and I wasn't about to have to work five hours a week or more just for my smoking habit. The best thing dad did was to make me start paying for my cigarettes again instead of him paying. He thought he was punishing me, but he did me a favor.

Back to Work...

It is back to work this morning after a good fruitful day off. I mowed five lawns yesterday leaving me only three to do and I will be caught up for a week or two unless I get more calls for work. I look forward to work this morning -- not dreading it at all. I love these early hours before seven when it is so cool and dark and I can gather my carts in peace without the parking lot being hectic and busy. Today will start my eighth week of work -- the end of the week marking two full months of working again after eight years of idleness. I feel so accomplished and my self esteem improves everyday -- that old nemesis social anxiety wilting away. The best thing I've done in many years was to start working again and to say to hell with Social Security -- somebody else can start having my benefits in May.

Epicurious...

Mom called me last night just as I was going to bed at 8:00pm.

"You won't believe our day," mom said. "We drove all the way to Thomasville and back and it stormed the whole time.  I am calling about your groceries tomorrow.  I am so tired, I am going to collapse in the bed after I get off the phone."

"Surprise me about groceries tomorrow, mom," I told her. "Get me all kinds of interesting foods to eat. Get me what you would want to eat yourself.  I get tired of the same things every week."

Mom chuckled warily not wanting to upset our usual routines.

"Give me more direction," she replied.

"Think of some of your favorite recipes and buy me the ingredients for them," I told her excitedly.

"Your putting a lot of work on me," she said, chuckling again.  "You know I can be anal about our routines."

"I know," I replied. "I just get tired of those Marie Callendar frozen meals all the time.  I want to be able to cook for Stacey and I this week every night."

"I will surprise you," mom said wanting to get off the phone now.  I had put too much on her for the busy day she had.  "How does my lasagna and spaghetti sound?  And mushroom chicken, tangy chicken and beef lo mein?"

"Sounds wonderful," I replied.

"Don't forget your diet Sprite tomorrow morning," mom then said. "Are you coming over at four to get them?"

"Certainly," I replied. "I appreciate you doing that."

"I will also bring you, Stacey and the dogs some double cheeseburgers, fries and apple pies tomorrow night as well."

"Sounds like a nice plan," I replied and we got off the phone.