She Pulled My Heart Out and Stomped that Sucker Flat…

It supremely crushes my heart to see Wendy on Facebook. She is on there all the time – sometimes late, late into the night.  I want to delete her as a friend to spare myself the pain and heartbreak, but I keep hoping she will try and make contact with me once again.  I wish it were just a simple cooling off period.  I really had my heart set on this lady and I guess I was wrong.

“You can find someone much, much better than her if you try,” my father callously told me tonight.

The problem is that I don’t want to find anyone else.  I am tired of searching and I thought I had found the one.  The right one. I felt so connected to her.  We had this symbiosis thing going for us.  Our torrid relationship ended about as quick as it started. 

All Hallows Eve…

I didn’t get a lot of trick or treaters as I had planned.  My front lights were on and my pumpkin was brightly lit. They just didn’t show. 

My brother and my sister thankfully stopped by with a vanload of a nephew and nieces.  They each got a Snickers bar or a peanut butter cup. I am eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup as I write this. Yummy to my tummy. I should gain back all those pounds I lost when feeling so mentally ill. I have a lot of expensive candy left. 

Charlie Just Turned Shitsville into a City of Gold…

Charlie was as good as his word.  He arrived at 3pm to give me my medications.

“I’ve got to run, Andrew,” Charlie’s said hurrying me up as I downed my psychiatric panacea. “Horsefly’s movie starts at 3:30pm!  That is 2:30pm Auburn time!”

Charlie’s not much one for affection, but I managed to get a hug out of him. Charlie also brought a case of bottled water to put in my fridge.  As I had surmised, he got a large cache of them on sale at our local CVS pharmacy. There must’ve been a dozen palettes of bottled water in his car.

Charlie’s My Main Man!

“Son?” my father asked last night. “You are going to have to come on a regular schedule to get these cokes.  It is going to drive your mother crazy. You know how she is about such things. It sets off her OCD!”

I cracked a smile and chuckled as I shyly looked at my feet.

“I’m serious!”  my father amended. “And you’ve got to take this serious as well!”

I was just over to get my sodas and mom was at the door.  Charlie had brought both her and I barbecue chicken plates from the Lion’s Club and they were delicious.

“That’s the best Chicken-Q plate I’ve ever had,” mom said.

I got my drinks and Helen to-go plates for which my mother was very pleased and told her about the prank I played on my father the other day.

“I bet your daddy was about to come over there and kill you for that,” mom said looking aghast.

I then ran into good ole Charlie.  Charlie was unloading copious amounts of bottled water out of his Caprica when I caught him at my grandmother’s former house.  Now his house. It must’ve been on sale somewhere.  Charlie can sniff out a good deal about as well as a rat does with cheese.

“Charlie?” I cautiously asked. “Dad is at the ballgame.  Are you bringing my medications?”

I am dealing with some really high strung folks as far as my mother and Charlie are concerned.  I have to be careful.

“Well no,” Charlie said, looking stymied. “Do you need them?”

“Hell!” Charlie said interrupting himself. “I’ll bring them over at 3pm! Your daddy might not get home till 10pm tonight.”

That was a load off my shoulders to hear him say that. I would’ve been a miserable little wretch having to wait that long to get my meds.  Halloween would have ended early.  I was sporting a Cheshire grin as I climbed into my car – my master plan for the day was coming together.  Charlie keeps a current supply of my medications in case something happens to my father and he couldn’t get here.

Photo Credit:   http://health.howstuffworks.com/medicine/medication/10-off-label-uses-antidepressants.htm

Photo Credit #2:  http://alabamatruth.com/tag/brain/

Let The Mystery Be - Iris DeMent H.Q.

All Hallows Eve…

Now, that is too awesome. A Star Wars Death Star carved pumpkin------------------->

Well, here we are.  We are at the place on the calendar named Halloween.  I am passing out copious amounts of full size Snickers bars and Reese’s cups tonight. 

I hurriedly carved a very traditional pumpkin last night and then had to hunt for a candle holder and candles that fit in my pumpkin.  That could only mean Wal-Mart.  Now that is taken care of, all I have to do is wait for the kiddies to arrive late this afternoon mostly before it gets dark.  I expect to get lots of kids from the surrounding neighborhoods that are very poor.  I know they will appreciate the candy the most. 

When I was a kid, we ran through the neighborhoods unfettered in our costumes.  Now?  Trick or treating is done by cars and supervised by parents it seems.  I know my sister’s and my brother’s children will be by here tonight.  I look forward to seeing them.

Are any of you excited about Christmas?  Johnny Otis doesn’t mind if I spend a little extra money on the grandkids.  I am also going to have a grand Christmas myself with the Dolby Digital sound system I am getting for my gaming computer.  I can’t wait to watch a Blu-ray movie in all its Dolby Digital glory on this computer.

photo credit:  http://www.fantasypumpkins.com/

photo credit #2:  http://www.2moroit.co.nz/product-logitech_z906_surround_speaker_5.1_thx_certified-14735

Helen’s Meal Du Jour…

Helen cooked fried center-cut pork chops, turnip greens, black-eyed peas, and cornbread this afternoon.  Dad also had Helen prepare some of her delicious deviled eggs which are not pictured.   Mom called me to come get my meal and I was over there in 10 minutes anxiously knocking on the back door. 

The Three Finger Discount…

Last week, my father played a big prank on me.  He was acting surly and I asked him what was wrong.

“I am pissed at you,” he said. “What on you going to do with your life? I have to pay for EVERY THING!”

I apologized profusely until he started to smile and told me he was just kidding me.  It was if a hundred bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t want to ever let my father down.

Well, today I played a good prank on him.

“Dad?  I am at Fred's behind y’all’s house and they said they won’t press charges if you drive down and pay for this Benadryl I took,” I told him.

“Shit son!” he exclaimed. “You can get yourself in the biggest messes!  Let me talk to the manager!”

“I am putting her on the phone.”

I waited a few seconds until I said, “Gotcha!!!!”

Dad and I both burst out in laughter.   He said he deserved that after what he did to me last week. 

“You really had me going!” my father told me chuckling. 

Photo Credit:  http://www.ask.com/health/fast-benadryl-work-5747c74d72d35c9f

The Early Birds Get the Earliest Worms…

I woke up and sat down in front of my computer in the den – the computer on the wireless connection in the front of the house. Maggie was like “don’t go” as I got out from under our warm covers.  It was 5:58am and the temperature was hovering around 47° degrees outside – our coldest day of this fall so far. I turned up the heat in this frigid house and got on Facebook to see what happened last night.  Boy, Wendy sure was busy posting overnight. It hurts me to see her posts for some reason – that she couldn’t give me the time of day and that she is posting on all that inconsequential bullshit.

I then heard that familiar and loud crack of an opening beer can as my neighbor began another day of imbibing in John Barleycorn on the carport.  He will go get some breakfast at the Waffle House once the sun rises upon the horizon.  Dad said he was pissing off the carport with the light on last night which made me laugh and smile for some strange reason. “I guess when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go.”  Beer always would make me piss like a racehorse as well. 

Football Kickoff Time…

Tomorrow is the Auburn and Ole Miss football game.  It will be interesting to see if my father brings my medication before he goes or afterwards.  The game starts at noon eastern time.  I am pretty sure that after such an early starting game, that I will not get my medications until late tomorrow night unless Charlie comes by here before Horsefly goes to the movies.  That will be around 4pm. That scenario is very probable and the one I am hoping for. 

7:35am – Just made a mad dash to my parents house for my diet Cokes sitting on the porch.  I got caught in the elementary school traffic on my way.  My Cokes were good and cold this morning, though, so they didn’t have to spend some time in the freezer. 

Photo Credit:  http://inkybeer.com/2013/08/18/pabst-blue-ribbon-tattoos-and-graffiti-art-are-everywhere/

Photo Credit #2:  http://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/sec-football/infographic-auburn-olemiss-preview/

Here Comes the Head Honcho…

Papa was early tonight just like I like it. His arrival caught Maggie off guard who was aloofly preening in the back bedroom on the bed. I had just gotten off the phone with my mother.  Mom asked me when my father was coming and I said about 9pm.

“Why do you think he is so late every night?” my mother asked wanting me to dish up some dirt. “The pharmacy closes at seven.”

I didn’t tell her that I think he eats with Charlie and Janice every night. In all my years on this green earth, I’ve never seen two men so dedicated to each other like my father and Charlie are. They are like two brothers separated at birth.

Photo Credit:  http://www.hulkshare.com/realyoungpac/head-honcho

A Dedicated Employee and A Dedicated Man…

Laura’s Richard and I were chatting earlier via Facebook.  Today is his 47th birthday.  He wanted for me to come to his house and bring some DVDs to watch, but Lagrange is just too far of a drive this late. I had the medication ritual with Papa as well. I hate to say it, but I think he spent his birthday alone. I should’ve have gotten a nice cake at the deli and headed to Richard’s house with my collection of Star Trek DVDs.

“Wish someone would come keep me company for a while tonight for my birthday feeling so alone right now”

Did you know he walks 5 miles to work every morning and walks 5 miles home every afternoon?  I call that dedication.  He drives the Goodwill truck. He can’t afford a car of his own on the paltry wages Goodwill pays him.

Train of Thought…

I spent most of the morning photographing engines down at the railyard.  My hopes are to build up a photo database of the engines and their numbers to share on the internet. I want engines from the Atlanta and West Point corridor.  The problem is that all these newer engines look the same to me and I can’t tell them apart.  What happened to EMD F7a’s and Sharknosed Baldwin's? All engines unique and easily identifiable. 

 

Photo Credit:  http://fineartamerica.com/featured/csx-diesel-locomotive-calvert-koerber.html

Interesting Liaisons…

I’ve become good friends with Laura’s last boyfriend recently.  Remember Laura? The chick I was going out to dinner every week with?  His name is Richard.  I affectionately call him poor Richard. His life is kind of like a soap opera or Shakespearean tragedy these days.   His new girlfriend got pregnant, she is calling the baby peanut, and is saying that Richard is not the father.  Her last partner before Richard is in jail and the timeline just doesn’t add up. Richard is willing to step up to the plate and take care of Jessica and the baby.   Richard and I chatted to almost 4am this morning mainly about women, relationships, and dating. Sometimes, all a friend needs to do is just listen and acknowledge. He is going to have to get a paternity test done when the baby is born to put an end to all the nonsense.  

Favorite Model Railroad Engine…

The Alco RS-3 is my all time favorite engine. This is a 1950’s and 1960’s era engine.

Photo Credit:   http://www.hobbylinc.com/bachmann-alco-rs3-w:dcc-southern-railway-2137-n-scale-model-train-diesel-locomotive-64254

The Secretary Beckons…

“Why are you not getting your sodas every day?” The Secretary asked. “You haven’t gotten your sodas for three days in a row and it worries me.”

“I just haven’t felt like driving over and getting them,” I told my mother very honestly. 

“What have you been drinking?” she then asked.

“Just plain ice water,” I told her. “I keep a cold jug of water in my fridge.”

Moments later my mother drove over and brought me enough diet Coke to make up for three days of not having them. I thanked her profusely.  My only beef with The Secretary is that she drove over here in her pajamas and fuzzy slippers again.

Photo Credit:  http://www.zazzle.com/executive+secretary+posters

Curmudgeons…

My appetite still hasn’t quite returned.  I have a glut of homemade spaghetti and meat sauce over here out the wazoo. I put a bunch of it in the freezer in what little Tupperware I have.

It bugs the shit out of my father when I cook like this.  He commented on how dirty my stovetop looked last night.  He also says he is afraid I will be like my mother and burn the house down. 

“That will take a total of ten minutes to clean up,” I told him of the stove as I grinned not taking the bait for an argument.

Right now, I have some bone in chicken breasts boiling on the stove along with lots of salt, cracked pepper, celery and Vidalia onions.  This is the backbone of my poppy seed chicken casserole which I will put together tonight and then I will freeze it for a much leaner week.  My freezer is about to get full if I keep this up.

Other things in my freezer include a loaf of pumpkin spice bread, doughnuts, and a big container of my father's vegetable soup and also a container of his scrumptious bean-less chili. There are also a few assorted Marie Callendar meals as well.

Photo Credit:  http://www.joyfullythriving.com/2013/10/delicious-poppy-seed-chicken/

Great Salutations…

I badly need to check my email more often.  I received a really nice email today from a reader who suffers from mental illness. How are these people finding my email address?  I told her that emails like that urge me on as far as writing this blog goes.  Mental illness can be a lonely disease leaving us in the dark as far as life is concerned.  I told her to never hesitate emailing me if she needs a friend in arms to talk to.  I also wrote to her my real name and asked for her to join me on Facebook. 

We’re All Out of Dates For the Dating Game…

Wendy and I are basically ignoring each other it seems these days. I have no idea of what her feelings were about the matter.  She most certainly deeply hurt my feelings last weekend and I don’t bruise easily.  I see her on Facebook all he time often for hours at a time.  Dad says I dodged a bullet as he knows her family well. Who in the hell doesn’t my father know would be the most pertinent question.

“They were all crazy as loons,” dad said to me callously.

I was writing her encouraging little notes every day until she sent me that frowny face emoticon after Friday’s message as if it was bothering her.  I never sent another.  I basically fell off the radar so to speak.

Photo Credit:   http://www.sensibleland.org/

TARDIS TIME WARP!!!!

Bedtime was fast approaching as I sat in my Lazy Boy reading a magazine with Maggie in my lap.  I remember it being very chilly in here and Maggie was curled up with me trying to stay warm. It also was raining very heavily which added to the ambience.

I put the magazine down on my side table and took off my glasses to rest my eyes and I reclined back a bit soon falling fast asleep.  That was about 11pm.  It seemed like moments later I woke up and it was 7am. It was still pitch black dark outside. That is such a disorientating feeling. I had to look at all three computers and my iPad to confirm it really was really 7am. Hey, at least I got eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Photo Credit:   http://www.kasterborus.com/tardis/

And Let There Be Game Controllers for Everyone…

The world is my oyster.  I have no plans whatsoever today and it is going to be nice. The only “work” I have to do is coordinate and negotiate a Newegg computer parts order with Matt and my father at the pharmacy and that is a labor of love. I just sent an email to get things into motion.

Somebody Please Save My Ailing Northbridge…

I was playing Railroad Tycoon II yesterday on my retro gaming computer when it started to make a loud grinding noise inside the case.  Keep in mind that these computer parts are more than 15 years old. Well, it turned out to be the fan on my Northbridge heat sink and it is giving out. I unplugged it to stop the noise.  The computer still seems to run fine and I hope it stays that way.  I don’t know where I would ever find another Abit IC7-Max3 motherboard.

Photo Credit:  http://www.xtremesystems.org/forums/showthread.php?16534-New-pics-of-the-IC7-G-MAX3

We Have a Green Light for Go!

I managed to escape the grocery store spending only $72 dollars tonight. It took me just under 15 minutes to shop. My father rather chastised me since I was going to be cooking and messing up my kitchen as he calls it, but I don’t think I could go another week eating those bland and tiresome Marie Callendar frozen meals, and I also don’t want to see another sandwich in quite a long time.

I did remember to buy two cans of Double Q Alaskan pink salmon.  I was also proud that I remembered to buy the peanut oil to fry the croquettes in. 

I will be making that poppy seed chicken casserole tomorrow night. I also got one rotisserie chicken to make chicken salad with. My really big and most expensive purchase was buying enough ingredients to make my spaghetti and meat sauce two nights this week. Ground chuck is expensive. I am such a big spender. Somebody’s gotta keep this economy moving and flourishing. 

I had to skimp on breakfast foods this week.  I bought one package of Black Label bacon, and some Pillsbury Homestyle Grands! biscuits in a can.  Dad’s mom would be rolling in her grave if she knew I bought biscuits in a can.

Photo Credit:   http://www.pillsbury.com/products/biscuits/grands-refrigerated-biscuits/homestyle-buttermilk

Pontification About My Grocery Situation…

Monday means another grocery day has arrived and my appetite is slowly improving.  I still have tons of food from last week, though. I put a bunch of stuff in the freezer the other day. 

The Kroger doughnuts last week were a total flop. They quickly became stale and only lasted for a few days after shopping.   I won’t be getting those this week.  That’s why it pays to spend more and get the Krispy Kreme brand.

I saw a really good recipe online for poppy seed chicken casserole. You know me. I am a casserole hound.  I’ve written down all the ingredients and will get them tonight. I also want to cook some fried salmon croquettes.  My father always complains about how it stinks up your house. I will admit the smell does linger for a day or two.

“Smells like canned cat food in here!” he will protest with a grimace – his nose turned up.

Another grand idea bouncing around in my head is to buy two garlic and herb roasted  rotisserie chickens from the deli, deboning them, and making lots of chicken salad for the rest of the week. That will depend on just how much the chickens will cost tonight. My father’s recipe for chicken salad is more of a creamy pâté rather than a salad.

Photo Credit:    http://happyhomefairy.com/2013/11/13/recipe-poppyseed-chicken-casserole/

These Are the Things Dreams Are Made Of…

It is raining softly here at the moment.  The din of the rain on my roof is making me sleepy.  I want to curl up in my warm covers and fall asleep once again.  I also don’t want to be up all night sleepless as well. It’s a conundrum to say the least.

Caprica: Not Just a Another Planet in Battlestar Galactica…

I was very solemn and lonesome yesterday, but I resisted the urge of calling my parents and telling them so. It would just worry them.  Some things are best dealt with stalwart perseverance and a quiet resolve. A stiff upper lip as our British brethren are prone to say.

Imagine my joy when Charlie's Chevrolet Caprica pulled up in front of my house last night.  My father climbed out of the car as well. They were delivering medications and a KFC chicken tenders meal which tasted like unpalatable cardboard. It had little to no flavor. I didn’t tell my father this, though.  I didn’t want to bite the hand that feeds me as the old saying goes.  Next time I am just going to get the original recipe box of chicken.

Charlie proceeded to clean my kitchen, polish my glass top stove, and take out my trash while dad, Maggie, and I sat on my couch and performed the medication ritual. It aggravated my father deeply that my flat screen television has decided to no longer work. Maybe I will get a new flat screen television out of the deal. Who knows?

“You’ve lost some weight,” my father then noted about me and we went to my bathroom to weigh on the scales. “Your cheeks look sunken in”.

During my sickness the last two weeks I managed to lose ten pounds.  I was too ill to eat. It was a rough few weeks best forgotten in the annals of Andrew. In an ideal world, I should have gone to the hospital.

Photo Credit:  https://www.reddit.com/r/BSG/comments/1zch80/battlestar_galactica_facts_since_everybody_likes/

Ala Trump…

Have I told you all how much better I feel after my injection?  I feel so very much awesomely better. It’s as if the raincloud hovering above me went away.  When modern medicine works, it is a wonderful thing indeed.  For a moment there, when I thought the panic attacks were back, it scared the holy shit out of me. I wasn’t going through that hell again.  I was going to raise complete and total hell until something was done about my mental health. Fire and brimstone baby!

Mein Charlie was here very early this morning with breakfast – the earliest his ever arrived.  Maggie went nuts as usual when Charlie’s car pulled up to the curb. Charlie and I could barely hear each other talk over Maggie’s eclectic, frantic and jubilant barking.

“My hair looks better today than it did last week,” Charlie vainly told me of his massive comb over.

I told him he looked just like the one and only Donald Trump.

“I used lots of hairspray,” Charlie said as he handed me my big bag of delicious smelling McDonald’s breakfast foods.  “We are going to cut your hair next weekend.  It’s getting long.”

I about can’t fit all my hair under my ever omnipresent baseball cap.

I told Charlie that I was going to get him some of that spray on hair in a can and he marveled that there was even such a thing.

Charlie brought bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits this morning and it about drove Maggie crazy while I ate a biscuit as I watched the television.  Well, I gave in and gave Maggie one of the biscuits to cause a ripple to flow through all of doggie nirvana.

Life’s Ultimate Trials and Tribulations…

Well, Wendy sent me two very vague (at best) Facebook “stickers” back last night around 1:30am in our chat timeline and no sentences.  One looked like what I think was she was either tired or aggravated and one looked like she was sleepy or depressed.  Not really sure of what she meant, but I am out of here as far as that rigmarole goes anymore.  I’m no longer playing the game. She lost a good and loving guy with a very, very big heart.  Maybe dating and relationships are just not in the cards for me.  I’ve fought the good fight despite countless and seemingly insurmountable odds such as my turgid social anxiety is concerned. Now? I am laying down my arms and walking away from this battlefield.

Photo Credit:   http://www.lastdaysministries.org/Articles/1000008512/Last_Days_Ministries/LDM/Discipleship_Teachings/Melody_Green/Binding_Up_the.aspx

A Good Day to You Darlin’…

This is a note I left Wendy today. I try to do this one positive thing everyday so she will know I am thinking of her.  Our chats keep growing longer and longer as we get to know each other more and more. I can just now hear the ice cracking. I’ve been taking a very forward kind of carpe diem approach to this relationship. 

I just wanted to say hello to one of Facebook's more awesome denizens.  I hope you are having a good day. I want to lie down and take a nap with Maggie, but I am afraid I will stay up all night.  I hope you have a super day with lots of cool things happening.  Take care of yourself, Andrew.

I keep waiting for her to make the next move and tell me when she wants to go out and have dinner one night, or maybe I should take the initiative and ask her point blank.  She told me she would let me know when she is ready.

Give Thoughts and Alms for an Ailing Helen…

“Maybe your daddy will hopefully cook us a good meal this afternoon,” my mother told me with high hopes in consolation a moment ago.

I wish dad would let mom cook her mushroom and sour cream chicken. That would be a very delicious blast from my childhood past. I also loved mom’s tangy chicken. Alas, my father won’t let my mother cook anymore citing she would burn the house down.

I had called mom to see what Helen was cooking this afternoon only to hear the bad news.  Helen had called in sick today saying her legs were so swollen she could barely walk. Helen’s legs are already elephantine in their normal state.

“Your daddy thinks she has cellulitis.”

My father is forever the armchair physician. I wish some medical school would just give him an honorary degree. I can see him proudly puffing up his chest with the utmost of pride.

“Tell dad to grill today.  Tell him to grill something like center cut pork chops or those bacon wrapped chopped sirloins,”  I told my mother enthusiastically. 

Mom said that sounded delicious and that she would see what she could do.

Photo Credit:  http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/561827/Swollen-leg-woman-three-stone-refused-NHS-treatment

Introducing the Logitech Z906 Baby!

Christmas is still nine long weeks away, but I have already decided how I am going to spend my $500 of annual Christmas money. I am getting a $399.99 Logitech 500 watt THX certified surround sound system for my gaming computer. The remaining $100 dollars will be spent on sticky back Velcro and speaker stands for my rear satellite speakers. The Velcro is needed to hold the speakers in their respective places.

Honey, is this Gonna Hurt?

I had a new nurse practitioner this morning. I can’t even remember her name. It kind of miffed me because Rebecca and Adia have been administering my injections for years. 

She was very enthusiastic, polite, and friendly.  She had jet black hair and looked like she was in her late fifties or early sixties. I am certain that she’s stolen quite a few hearts and the affections of a few guys over the years.

“This needle is huge,” she said to me before she said big prick. “Honey, does it hurt?”

“You’re fine,” I told her. “I’ve been getting this injection for so long it doesn’t bother me and it rarely hurts anymore.”

I can imagine my ass cheeks being pockmarked like the surface of the moon, though. 

We Don’t Want Crazy Around This Town…

I just received a very nasty email about myself and the blog.  I have no idea how they found my email address, but they did.  Someone most definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  They called me “mentally unstable” and they also said I should quit writing as there are so few people left reading me followed by a “HA HA HA!”  A few years ago this would have bothered and troubled me deeply. Now?  I could care less what these detractors/goobers think. I enjoy writing and sharing my days even if I have only five people reading. I write mostly for me and for the love of the art form and the craft.

Photo Credit:  http://www.writtenbysumer.com/blog/blog-sucks-make-better/

Riding that Facebook Wave…

Well, “The Homeless Guy” closed up shop and is now exclusively posting only to his newest Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/thehomelessguy.  He didn’t announce this – he just quietly closed his blogs and went about his business losing some 30,000 hits a month. His Facebook page is pretty quiet and maybe that’s how he wants it to be.

He is pretty right about blogs being dead and that Facebook is the wave of the future.  I feel like an old dinosaur still hanging onto my old blogging roots.  What is so appealing about Facebook is that you get instant gratification when you post something and have a modicum of friends. It is blogging for the “twitch crowd” as I call it. Eyes glaze over when you post more than just a few sentences, though.

Damage to the Ole Derrière…

Dad called me very early at 8am this morning. I think even Maggie started to moan when that phone began ringing at eight.

“You’re injection is this morning,” he gruffly said. “Do you think you can get it together enough to make it to the pharmacy in an hour?”

“I’ll meet you at the pharmacy at 9am,” I sleepily told him.

I hurriedly scoured my clothes dryer for some clean clothes to wear that weren’t terribly wrinkled.

No wonder I was struggling so these past few days.  My injection slipped up on the both of us. Dad and I had both forgotten. It was The Secretary, my mother, who ultimately remembered.  She had written it down on her family healthcare calendar and went and woke up my father about it.

Everything Pumpkin Spice and Other Things Nice…

Shopping went as planned last night – no panic attacks to send me into a tailspin.  I spent just under $80 dollars.  I got mainly Marie Callendar meals.  I love their sweet and sour chicken and rice meal. They were out of fresh raisin bread, though, so I got some Pepperidge Farm pumpkin spice swirl bread instead to eat with my newly acquired JIF peanut butter.  

My only impulse buy last night was some store brand cheese and blueberry Danishes although some Krispy Kreme doughnuts were certainly calling my name. They’re just too darn expensive.

Breakfast foods included sharp cheddar, Black Label bacon and a palette of extra large eggs.  I also got some sausage that was the Manager’s special – reduced for a quick sale. Most food companies are extremely conservative about their “buy by” dates.

Helen is in the Kitchen…

Mom just called me and told me Helen is making tuna salad sandwiches for lunch. I wouldn’t miss those for the world.

“Come by at lunchtime and get some sandwiches,” my mother told me. “Helen has already got the eggs boiling.”

I am also heading down to the railroad tracks today to do some rail fanning.  Watching a few trains roll down the tracks will do this old heart some good.  

Photo Credit:  http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/ProductDetail.aspx?catID=745&prdID=121122

Photo Credit #2:  http://www.smartalecs.info/product/sandwiches/tuna-salad-sandwich/

Homing Beacon Placed in the Front Yard…

Well, in a few minutes hopefully, my father and I will set out upon a grocery buying trip. If I can just tear him away from his television.  I am going to placate him tonight and just get the Marie Calendars meals.  I am also looking forward to fresh raisin bread and good peanut butter this week.  The only other “must have” item is I want some unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tarts. The big box, and my four gallons of Milo’s sweet tea.

Sliding into Home…

My bed makes a very distinctive sound when you to lie down in it.  I just decided to get in the bed with my iPad to warm up.  It is chilly in here and I didn’t want to turn up the heat.  Well, the Duchess, Maggie, came flying into the bedroom like a bat out of hell and jumped into the bed.

“Hot DAMN! Fiesta time!” she seemed to impart as she curled up next to me.

Anytime is a good time for bedtime when it concerns the Magster. We’re doing a little grooming right now to vanquish her cooties.

-- Blogged with my iPad.

Let There Be Peace and Quiet…

Maggie and I awoke at high noon.  I guess I must’ve needed the rest.  Maggie loves it when we do this – these late sleep-ins. 

I had some spaghetti and meat sauce in the freezer and defrosted it in the microwave.  That was a very, very delicious lunch.  I had forgotten I had that in the freezer. I think that is what I am getting grocery wise tonight – the fixings to make two more pots of spaghetti and meat sauce.

The phone rang last hour.  I answered and it was my father.

“Your mother said you haven’t got your sodas for two or three days,” he said. “You must feel really poorly.  That is extremely unlike you.”

“I feel better today,” I told him cautiously – not wanting to jinx myself. “I’ve just been drinking ice water.  Put them on the back porch and I will come and pick them up.”

Dad and I sat on his back porch for a long time talking.  It was a good talk – a father and son talk. Dad was worried I feel overshadowed by my two extremely overachieving siblings. My brother just built a house and my sister bought some expensive real estate on Lake Martin.  They live the ideal nuclear family kind of lives with nice cars and expensive homes.   

photo credit:   http://www.eatliverun.com/spaghetti-with-meat-sauce/

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.glenrosemedicalcenter.com/project/oncology/

May Good Outcomes Bless Us…

“You’ll be alright,” my father just said. “It only takes you 30 minutes to buy your groceries.”

Mom’s on the bandwagon as well and wants me to get my groceries.

“Well,” I replied back. “If I disappear then you know what happened. Don’t get mad at me.  I had a panic attack and am either reclined in my car or attempting to drive home.”

I wish he would stop obstinately insisting on buying groceries tonight and just buy me a burger on the way home from work. He’s worked two days in a row now and has to be tired.

Enraptured Over the Queen of England…

Well, my father, a known royal family junkie, just spent the last hour on my computer viewing information and videos of China’s state visit to the UK.  He kept talking about some study involving schizophrenia he wants me to join at the hospital.  Most likely a drug trial.  Kindly, no thank you.

He thankfully abstained on harping too much about going to the grocery store. We are going tomorrow. I almost had another attack while he was over here and he noticed I had gotten eerily quiet while he was on the computer.  Maggie knows something is up as she will get in my lap, nuzzle my hand, and whine.

Remember: Touch Wood…

Mira, a reader from India, would always tell me to “touch wood” about something superstitious, ominous, or hopeful.  It was the Indian version of “knock on wood” for us English folks.

Touch wood is an example of a superstition: something that we do in order to have good luck. It is not based on human reason or scientific knowledge, but is connected with old ideas about magic and the supernatural.

 

 

Well, touch wood as in this computer desk, but I feel 100% better today.  I don’t want to jinx this feeling.  That panic attack had been coming on for a week and I didn’t see it coming.  I thought it was just withdrawal from my medications that was making me so miserable and feeling so out of sorts.  I feel as if the old Andrew is back today after a week of complete torment.

The pharmacy will soon close in about thirty minutes and my father and I can determine whether we will go to the grocery store tonight or tomorrow night.  I am running low on provisions having only two cans of Chef Boyardee left to eat as the only food in this house.  I would like for him to get me a meal on fast food row and let’s buy groceries tomorrow night.

Photo Credit:    http://mentalfloss.com/article/50079/why-do-we-knock-wood

I Try and I Try and I Fail. Revel in Your Health…

“I can’t go to the grocery store tonight,” I told my father as he was driving over here. “I am having a massive panic attack at the moment.”

Dad arrived at my house and gave me my medications.  The panic attack soon started to ease as my anti-anxiety medications entered my bloodstream.  Dad stayed almost a whole hour.

“You okay?” he asked me as he got up to leave. “I love you and hate to see you in anguish.”

“Yes, thank you for staying so long,” I told him. “I needed you tonight. Those are some of the most scariest of things that have ever happened to me in life. I haven’t had one of those in over a year.”

I used to get them every few days and I was an absolutely miserable old soul.  That was when my mother was still buying all my groceries and I could barely go out of the house. Let’s pray tonight’s attack was not an ill omen of their return and just an anomalous occurrence.

Photo Credit:   http://ecurrent.fit.edu/blog/panther-voices/aaron-forensic-psychology/panic-anxiety-stigmas-reconsider/

A Most Enjoyable Experience…

Many mornings lately I have been leaving Wendy a little note of encouragement in her Facebook message inbox.  This is very forward of me and is also very out of character seeing how shy I am in my real life.  This afternoon we chatted for almost an hour.  It is fun getting to know someone you are interested in. She’s turning out to be a real class act and I very much want us to be at least good friends.  To date would just be the icing on the cake.

Martha Told Me How Chilly it Was Over at My Parent’s House…

It is a very chilly day here in the Deep South.  The temperature never climbed above 70° here.

“I think there is something wrong with my heater,” my mother continued.

So I jumped in the car, drove over, and the pilot light on their central heating and air was blown out.  Moments later and I had warm air blowing out their vents after egressing from their basement.

“Thank you sweetheart!” my mother exclaimed to me as I got in my car to drive home.

Dad had to work today and my mother can be kind of aloof about such matters. The Secretary was about to schedule a possibly expensive appointment.

“Oh, you need a new thermocouple,” I can hear the repairman telling my mother hook, line, and sinker.

It is unscrupulous, but it does happen.

Photo Credit:  http://mcadamsplumbing.com/services/water-heaters/water-heater-repair/

Any News On “The Homeless Guy”?

I have been reading and gawking since 2002.  I remember looking at his blog at my sister’s wedding in Mobile in the early 2000’s.  Although I rarely agreed with him about homeless issues, he was still an interesting read.  He slammed shut his old blog and is not writing on his “new and improved” Wordpress blog.  He weighed over 300 pounds and I am concerned it was something medical. 

New Star Wars Movie Poster…

A Little Mentally Misaligned…

After a seemingly grueling afternoon of mental anguish and waiting, my father and Charlie should be here in the next hour with supper and medications.

“What do you want for supper?” my father just asked me over his cellphone.

“Risperdal Consta!” I exclaimed goodheartedly. “And some Klonopin!”

Dad and I both broke out into laughter over my exclamation this late afternoon.

“Seriously though,” I told my father. “Just get me chicken strips or whatever is easiest for you and Charlie.”

“Hang in there.  We will be there in just a few more minutes,” he told me.

Is is just me?  Or is this “new” Colonel in the commercials downright creepy?

Photo Credit:   http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/kfc-arlington-4?select=yQhtW8OBSlnJEIaJAw5JSQ

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.bizjournals.com/portland/blog/2015/05/reviews-of-wieden-kennedys-kfc-rebranding-are.html

Call a Brain Surgeon. We Need a Transplant Stat!

“You’ve been struggling lately,” my father told me over the phone a few minutes ago.

I had called my father to remind him to bring my daily sodas when he brings my medications tonight.

“Is it that noticeable?” I asked feeling consternated and aggravated. 

“You can see it in your clothes and how disheveled and unkempt you look,” my father replied. 

“Well, honestly dad, the only time I feel well is a few hours after my medications these past few days,” I told him. “I’ve been hanging on to my sanity by a thread lately. I feel so like shit that I’ve hardly eaten all week.  I still have tons of food from last Monday.  I even have sweet tea left and that is saying something.”

“Get yourself cleaned up and Charlie and I will be there soon,” he told me. “We should be over there about 7 to 8pm.”

Photo Credit:   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scalp_reconstruction

An Egg McMuffin Morning…

Charlie arrived at 10am.  Maggie and I were still in the bed.  He knocked and I quickly ambled to the front door after pulling on some shorts.  Maggie flew to the front door as well very excitedly. 

“We’re doing something different this morning,” Charlie told me over Maggie’s jubilant barking. “I got you two egg McMuffins.” 

I have to say it was nice doing something different for a change.  The two McMuffins were delicious.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Charlie then said. “When your daddy and I bring you supper and medications. What do you want to eat?”

“I would love the jumbo fried fish platter from Captain D’s,” I told him.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Charlie told me and he pulled away from the curb.  

Photo Credit:  http://www.cnbc.com/2015/01/27/are-mcdonalds-eggs-real-fast-food-giant-cracks-mystery.html

From High Noon to Sundown…

A goodnight and a very kind fare thee all well.  I’ve had a very, very long day mentally. One I would rather forget, and I am getting in the bed and curling up with my dearest my nurse, the Maggins. She’s grooming now in the bedroom and getting ready for me to turn the heat down and to go get in the bed. Charlie will be here bright and early in the morning with bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits, hash browns and orange juice. Let’s hope my mental illness malaise has lifted by then.

Risperdal’s and Klonopin’s Sweet Embrace…

I was sad to learn that Helen is not cooking today.  I was very much looking forward to one of her soul food meals. 

I am feeling a little withdrawal again from my medications today. It feels very uncomfortable to say the least.  I have butterflies in my stomach out the wazoo and paranoia that the withdrawal symptoms might escalate.  I called my father and he is at the grocery store.

“I’ll come by your house with your medications on my way home,” he told me.

Could it be so easy?  I expected a good, hard ribbing from my father – a little goodhearted admonishment about taking my medications so early.  I told him I am forever in his debt if he does come by so early.  It certainly will make for a very pleasant and less anxiety filled afternoon.  Just the mere act of taking them makes me feel better and I know that it is just psychosomatic, but it sure does take the edge off to know help is in my belly and is on the way. 

The Mental Illness Medication Express…  

3:48pm --  Papa made it as he said he would.  He is on his way now to cook peas, smoked pork chops, buttery potatoes in a starchy cream sauce, and cornbread. 

“I’ll bring you a plate by tonight,” he told me. “Would you like okra in your peas?”

“Bless you good sir,” I said. “I would love that.”

“You get to feeling better,” he said to me walking to his car across my front yard. “And do not tell your mother that you are feeling poorly. She will obsess over it.”

Ignorance is bliss as the old saying goes.

Photo Credit:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9uBMUCnOa0

Photo Credit #2:   http://www.gianteagle.com/37600177900.aspx

A Quick Visit From Papa…

Maggie squealed loudly as my father’s Honda pulled up in front of my house tonight.  A broad smile formed across my face as as well as I patted Maggie on the back and said, “Hot Damn!” as we looked out the den window.  It was medication time and then soon I would retire to my warm bed for the evening after a good hour on the computer.  It had been a long day medication withdrawal wise today.  It just happens some days without explanation.  My brain chemistry is a fickle thing to contend with, and would confound even the most venerated of psychiatrists.

“Auburn is playing tonight, so I can’t stay long,” my father said excitedly to hurry up the process.

We quickly took my medications and he was gone in a split second to drive home and watch the game against Kentucky.  I realized tonight that college football is my father’s primary religion.  He’s a very staunch atheist when it concerns Christianity and most other organized religions, but he loves some Auburn football. 

Maggie was standing in the door of the kitchen like, “You all forgot about me.”  I went and put some fresh food and water in her bowls.

Kentucky vs Auburn

Live on ESPN

Commonwealth Stadium, Lexington, Kentucky

Auburn Tigers (3-2)

 

23 - 20

Live - 1:03 3Q

Kentucky Wildcats (4-1)

	1	2	3	4		Total
Auburn	14	9	0	-		23
Kentucky	7	3	10	-		20

All times are in Central Time