Things Going On Around Here Today…

• Tracy went and bought a bunch of vanilla and almond scented candles today. They are lit throughout the house. She said the house smelled musty after all those years I smoked inside. She also washed the curtains and hung them back up after drying them. It does smell nice in here. It smells almost like the sweet smell of pipe tobacco smoke.
• I drove to the Literacy Center and talked to the director today about volunteering again. She said they had plenty of volunteers at the moment, but would call me if she needed me. I was a little disappointed, but I will get over it. I have too much time on my hands at the moment.
• Tracy and I had our Slim-Fast for lunch. She cooked her chicken parmesan for supper and it was delicious let me tell you. It was so hard to resist going back for another plateful. She also had a salad with a vinaigrette dressing and bread sticks.
• Yet another niece has a birthday next week and I drove to Kroger a moment ago and got an iTunes gift card and a birthday card. Tracy rode with me and bought some more scented candles while we were there. 
• Dad called me tonight pooped. He had his long hell day today at the pharmacy. He wanted to let me know he remembered to refill my Prilosec prescription. I told him to leave it outside the door and I would pick it up tomorrow. I took my last dosage I had today. We talked for a moment about walking as well. He wanted to know if I was still walking everyday and I said yes. I walk around the neighborhood meanderingly. He said he needs to get to walking as well. His wine drinking has given him a little gut.
• The Cable Guy stopped by with our new cable box. Tracy is delighted at all the channels we get now.

I Doth Protest!

Dad was carrying KFC and Charlie was carrying cleaning supplies as they walked across my yard this evening.

“I’m cleaning your bathroom in case Tracy comes to stay awhile,” Charlie told me with a sly smile.

I protested greatly, but to no avail. I hate for him to have to go to all that work on my behalf, but it’s Charlie’s way of saying he loves me. Dad got on the couch and watched Masterpiece Theater while Maggie vied for his attention.

“There’s a lot of noise going on in there,” dad hollered to Charlie as he cleaned. “You haven’t fallen in have you?”

“Oh shut up, John!” Charlie replied with a laugh.

“Charlie? My toilet tends to run once every few hours. What could that be?”

“Your plunger is not seating properly. You may need a new one. I’ll get Mike the plumber out here to see about it tomorrow,” Charlie replied.

Charlie cleaned for about 30 minutes until he was satisfied everything was spic and span.

“Are we ready to go?” dad then asked.

“Let me check Andrew’s trash,” Charlie said.

I had beaten him to the punch and carried out all the trash earlier in the day. There was a fresh bag in all the trash cans.

I hated to see them go as I was quite enjoying the company and activity going on in the house. Dad said I seemed down in the dumps tonight. He said I sounded that way earlier on the phone as well.

“The holidays are hard for people with a mental illness aren't they?” he asked me.

I didn’t say what I wanted to say, but I defeatedly said, “Yeah, they can be tough.”

Look Who Showed Up On My Doorstep…

“I noticed the other night that your lampshades were looking threadbare so I went and bought you some after work,” Charlie told me.

“Where would you buy lampshades?” I asked just out of curiosity.

“I got them at Walmart,” Charlie replied.

That figures. Walmart sells everything these days.

“I was drunk one night and fell on that one,” I blithely told Charlie

Charlie laughed and chuckled.

“Just another reason for you not to drink. Don’t you get drunk and fall on your new lampshades!”

“Here are also two Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwiches,” Charlie then said. “I got you plenty of that Polynesian sauce you so love.”

There were like ten containers of Polynesian sauce in the bottom of the bag. Can you say overkill?

During all of this, Maggie was about to have an orgasm of happiness.

“Let me get on the couch with Maggie then I have to take Horsefly bowling,” Charlie said.

Maggie very vocally let Charlie know how happy she was to see him.

I was just as overjoyed as Maggie about us having company. Charlie brings gifts and also brightens moods for which mine was rather morose before he arrived. It also got me off my duff and gave me something to write about. 

There is Something About That Risperdal…

This morning was my injection so I have been really, really drowsy all day. At one point, I fell asleep sitting upright in my recliner. Try that on for size. I’ve tried to fight sleep all day so I will sleep tonight.

“You look like you need an injection,” Rebecca told me this morning.

“Do I look that bad?” I asked worriedly.

“You look like you had a hard time getting it all together this morning,” she told me.

“You know me well after all these years,” I replied to her. “I am really struggling this morning. It was a miracle I managed to buy groceries last night.”

I can get to looking rather frumpy and unkempt around injection time.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Old Fuss and Feathers!

“Y’all haven’t left yet?” I asked my father sounding disappointed. “It is almost 8 pm.”

“I’m just the co-pilot,” my father said. “It is up to Charlie when we leave and he has been moving furniture all day.”

I hung up the phone feeling dejected.  They finally arrived at 8:45 pm. Maggie and I both let out a loud sigh of relief. Maggie put on her usual dog and pony show. Pizza was at hand. They were pushing it to the wire as KFC closes at 9 am on Sundays here. Horsefly only eats KFC’s chicken fingers.

Charlie then went to cleaning my house. I started to protest, but my father said to leave him be.

“Charlie can get done in 30 minutes what would take you hours,” Old Fuss and Feathers told me.

There was a lot of banging and clanging coming from the kitchen and Charlie finally emerged with trash bags ready to go.

“Go look at it, Andrew,” Charlie said proudly.

The kitchen looked wonderful. He even weeded down my collection of empty mayonnaise jars in the fridge. I thanked Charlie profusely and patted him on the back.

“My sink has never shined more brightly,” I told him.

“Love y’all,” I said as I walked with them to the front door.

Maggie and I both watched them drive off and now it is time for our nightly rituals as we get ready for bed.

Like Pack Mules…

Dad and I like to watch all the cooking shows on Georgia Public Broadcasting every Saturday. I had just asked about Charlie when he called as we were sitting in the den.

“Would y’all mind help me move some stuff?” he asked.

“We can give you a hand,” I said.

Dad got dressed and I drove over to the Charlie’s house by my father’s house. Dad soon walked over. Charlie pulled into the driveway in the white truck with just a shitload of furniture and stuff to unload. I moaned. It was already 90° degrees outside. I had to think of all the things Charlie has done for me over the years.

Dad and I both got busy unloading as Charlie directed us on where to put everything.  

“I know I am a hoarder,” Charlie said laughing nervously.

By this time, I was winded and Charlie then announced we need to load things back onto the truck to carry to his new house. We got ‘er done and soon we were all on our respective ways. I was just soaking wet with sweat and immediately took a shower and changed clothes when I got home.

Marital Bliss…

I drove over to Charlie’s new house this afternoon to see what was going on. There is always something interesting going on at Charlie’s house. He had a carpenter installing new kitchen cabinets today. They were gorgeous.

“I am getting a new glass black top stove after this,” Charlie told me. ”Just like yours, Andrew.”

“I don’t know how we are going to afford it,” Charlie’s frugal wife said looking at me.

I chuckled and Charlie jeered and mocked Janice playfully.

Janice needed something from Charlie’s other house, the house by my father’s, so we set off on a mission.

“Get you two diet Cokes out of the fridge before we go,” Charlie, the feeder, told me.

“You know?” I said to Charlie. “My grandmother always said everybody needed to be married at least once for the lessons about life it teaches you.”

Charlie laughed and agreed. It certainly was true for my ex-wife and I. It will teach you temperance quickly.

I happily obliged about the diet Cokes. They were ice cold, crisp, and delicious. We got in Charlie’s Caprica and away we went. I sat in the running car while Charlie brought out a big box of various things and put them on the backseat. I should have gotten out and helped him.

“You hungry?” Charlie asked as he got back in the car. “Let’s run down to McDonald’s and get us a big Big Mac.”

We got Janice and the carpenter something to eat as well after a phone call to see what they wanted. I headed home to eat my extra value meal thanking Charlie so much for lunch. The smell of that McDonald’s food about drove Maggie crazy. There was some serious begging going on and a pout when she didn’t get enough. 

We Passed Muster…

Dad was really walking around my house checking on things tonight. It was making me nervous. What would he find? My collection of Japanese Hentai? (just kidding)

“Oh, I love your Christmas lights in your bedroom,” he said at one point. “You need to make up your bed everyday, though.”

“The Christmas lights are my nightlight,” I told him and ignored the part about making up my bed.

That harkens back to his Army days.

“Your computer room looks just like a computer junkie would have it,” Dad told me.

“You’ve got your kitchen and laundry room looking so nice and clean,” he also said as we moved through the house.

He did say my bathroom needed some work.

“You’ve got ring around the toilet bowl,” he said.

We both sat back down in the den as Maggie vied for my father’s affection.

“I don’t want my hands smelling like dog,” he said with his nose turned up thwarting Maggie's efforts.

Dad complimented me on the music playing through the computer in the den.

“It’s my iTunes mix,” I said. “Some songs I have listened to over a hundred times.”

Imogen Heap was playing and dad pricked up his ears up when I said she was British.

A little note on dad’s army days. The army barracks stayed lit all night. Dad had a top bunk just under a bright light bulb. He could only sleep with a towel over his eyes. Still, to this day, he sleeps with a folded towel covering his eyes. I guess old habits die hard.

Surprise! It’s Charlie!

My father had to work all day and had told me he was stopping by tonight to see me and the Mags. Maggie and I were in our respective places waiting for him to arrive when this strange car pulled up. I didn’t recognize it at first until I realized it was Janice’s Altima. Maggie and I rushed to the door when I exclaimed, “Charlie’s Here!”

“Just what in the hell are you two doing?” Charlie asked facetiously.

“We are watching out for riff raff like you in our yard,” I replied.

Charlie was laughing jovially as I let him through the door. He was carrying two leaded regular Cokes and a cup of ice for me. Charlie does spoil me at times.

“Your daddy said you’ve been cleaning so I wanted to see what you have done,” Charlie told me. ”He had to go do something with the grandkids after work.”

“Well, today I washed all my clothes and hung them up in the laundry room,” I showed Charlie. “I also washed and dried Maggie’s food and water towel. It was looking worse for wear.”

“That’s a shitload of laundry you got hung up!” Charlie exclaimed. “You did that all today?”

“All today,” I replied proudly.

“Well, I’ve got to take The Fly bowling,” Charlie said. “I bet he is getting anxious sitting in the car. Love you, Jon-Tom.”

I told Charlie I loved him back and Charlie headed to Valley Bowl.

I didn’t expound upon that I showed him my sink and stove top as well.

“I cleaned the sink to the best of my ability,” I told Charlie and he got a big kick out of that line
“best of my ability”.

I also cleaned the toilet today as well and some of the mess the rats have made under my kitchen sink. I cleaned in little spurts taking time for the computer and then getting up to clean for a little while.

I Now Have a New Bed...

The bed is giant and pretty much fills the back bedroom. Charlie told me he was coming with some men and a van. I didn’t believe him till they showed up tonight and began unloading. Charlie said he is bringing me two side tables and two lamps tomorrow.

The Great Close Out -- Good For Charlie!

A mix and mingle -- how to give me a coronary.

Charlie finally closed on the West Point house and his rental property as well and got what he was asking for them. He was ecstatic. The house had been on the market for years and years. Possibly 10 years. The phone rang thrice, our code, and I called him back. Dad rings twice.

"I would invite you to the party tonight, but I know you wouldn't want to be around all that alcohol," Charlie told me over the phone.

Actually, my social phobias and having to mingle amidst all those people would be my biggest obstacle and fear. I wouldn't worry at all about the alcohol and free-flowing champagne. If I wanted a beer, I could just walk next door and ask George for a few to my father's consternation and not have to deal with the crowd. It is my father's biggest fear about my former alcoholic self. I always have enjoyed drinking alone. Put me in front of a computer and let the beer flow and the music sing.

"What are you going to do with all that money?" I boldly asked the very fiscally secretive Charlie.

"I am going to Walmart and buying the biggest damn TV they have," Charlie replied laughing.

I laughed in turn and told Charlie I would be glad to hook it up for him. He said he was counting on it. That sounded like something I would do! I would also put aside $10,000 to $20,000 and build one helluva kick-ass computer!

Hah! I Beat Ya to the Punch Maggie!

I looked up from this computer and saw the meter reader in my neighbor's yard reading their water meter. I quickly jumped up, walked briskly into the kitchen, and locked the dog door in the laundry room. Maggie almost immediately knew something was up and started barking. I've got the house opened up today as it is so warm and beautiful so Maggie got out on the porch and went apeshit bananas as he opened up the fence to her yard. I noticed the meter reader was carrying an axe handle today. I am always worried Maggie will try to nip at his heels and he will hit her in the head or hurt her in some way.

Oh, Charlie? Why Dost Thou Forsake Me?

Charlie didn't show up until 9:30 last night. I had almost given up on him. I had the nods as I sat at this computer looking out the window for his arrival. It was way past my bedtime. Maggie had given up her vigil as well and gone to sleep on the bed. She gave Charlie one helluva show when he finally arrived, though.

"I lost track of the time moving furniture," Charlie told me sheepishly over the phone about 9:20. "I am headed your way."

At least I no longer have to wait for my medications when Charlie and my father are late. I had smoked my last cigarette 2 hours earlier, though, and was jonesing for my next fix.

Bed? This Weekend Maybe?

Charlie and I have to move the old bed and then move in the new bed. I am hoping we will get this done this weekend. Charlie has already given me a footstool hoping Maggie will use it to jump onto the bed.

Rodent Carnivale...

I just got off the phone with the exterminators which is amazing considering my phone phobias. Tough times call for tough measures. I told the fellow that I needed some help with some completely unruly rats. He has been putting bait bags under the basement, but apparently, these rats use the dog door and don't go under the house.

"I'll be out there tomorrow afternoon," he told me. "We will put some bait bags under your kitchen counters."

I said a big thank you and we got off the phone.

Last night got off to an auspicious start. I was sitting in my recliner when I leaned back and a rat came shooting out from under the chair and scurried into the kitchen. Then they kept me up all last night with crashing noises in the kitchen, den, and bathroom. I feel bleary-eyed this afternoon. Maggie just ignores them which miffs me. If she saw a cat in the yard, then she would go nuts. I don't understand this ambivalence she has for these rats who are invading her home. Last night, there was a huge crash of pots and pans under the stove and Maggie just looked up and then went back to sleep.

Five Out of the Last Seven Sundays It Has Been Raining...

I woke at would have been six yesterday. Now it is seven -- seven in the morning and still dark outside. Ah, daylight savings time.

I turned up the heat from 72° F to 78° F as it was very chilly in Casa de Andrew this morning. It is also pouring rain and there is no telling what time Charlie will be here with biscuits this morning with the time change and the weather. I am guessing he will be here around 10:30 AM.

You may remember my bed broke a few months back.

"It was you and Maggie's big asses laid up in that bed that broke it," my father picked at me while laughing.

Maggie and I have been sleeping with the box springs and mattress on the floor which can get mighty chilly and you worry about critters crawling in the bed with you having a dog door and all.

"Charlies got a queen sized bed for you," my father told me last night. "When he will bring it, I do not know."

I wrung my hands in delight and great pleasure. My first thoughts were that I hope Maggie can jump up on the bed (not likely). It is going to take her weeks to adjust to this new acquisition. I guess I will be picking her up and putting her in the bed with me. I can't sleep without her with me. She will very vocally let me know when she needs to get down.

"Tell Charlie I said mucho thanks," I told my father. "We are going to have to get up the linens to fit such a large bed."

************************************************

I want a nice looking house filled with nice furniture
like Charlie and Papa

I might become a soothsayer if I believed in all that superstitious nonsense. Charlie arrived at exactly 10:30 AM. Charlie was completely undressed for this kind of weather. He had on his purple painting t-shirt, tan shorts, and some leather looking crocs.

"You're going to catch the death of you," I told him worriedly.

It is 55° F outside this morning. The water was just dripping off his bald head as he handed me our breakfast.

"Next week, just get me one biscuit instead of two," I told Charlie. "I am trying to stick to my diet."

"When do you want your bed?" Charlie then asked.

"Call me anytime and I will be over to help you load it on the truck and into the house," I replied. "It is not like my schedule is just filled with things to do."

The Supreme Organizer...

Charlie called me at 8 am.

"Are you up?" Charlie asked.

"I just got finished washing the dishes from cooking breakfast," I told Charlie.

"Do you feel up to tackling your closets?" Charlie inquired.

"Now or never," I replied to Charlie with a heartfelt thanks.

Charlie showed up at 9 am with an armful of clothes hangers and laundry detergent in the other hand.

Charlie is the master organizer and can make a big job not seem so big. My back bedroom closet is a very big closet and I had bags and bags of clothes piled up in there -- clothes I didn't even remember possessing. You couldn't even get inside the closet.

We soon had two piles of clothes on my bedroom floor. One pile was to be laundered and hung up in the laundry room. The other pile was to be put into the Goodwill bin over by Fred's Dollar Store. My job today is to launder all those clothes I kept and to hang them up or put them away in my chest of drawers.  Charlie gathered up all my old clothes and piled them up in his Caprica and is on the way to the Goodwill bin as I write this.

A Long Day's Worth of Life...

Late Night Guidance System

It's is raining here with an occasional rumble of thunder. It is very nice and mood-setting winter's evening. Maggie's on the floor by me licking her paws which usually means she is very content. My father has just left after a hard day's work. He dropped off my cigarettes and diet Cokes. He told me tonight he is moving into the river house and selling the big house, the John Otis manor.

"Only you would be out in this weather," I told Charlie when he arrived earlier this evening braving a downpour.

Charlie brought me a new toilet seat and a new toilet plunger.

"Just what I wanted for Christmas," I told him sarcastically.

"Oh hush!" Charlie said laughing.

I had to help him install it which took only about 10 minutes. Charlie had also brought me supper which consisted of a Zaxby's chicken tender platter. Charlie truly spoils me rotten.

"I am going to let you eat your supper before it gets too cold," Charlie said heading for the front door with his mission accomplished.

Because He's My Main Man....

One of the worst feelings in the world. 

The head honcho himself has just left the premises.  We got Whoppers and onion rings for today's treat. We also got one hell of a gigantic coke much to my supreme delight.

Yes, it was Charlie. He had been painting his new house and his clothes had paint all over them. I rushed out to the car excited to greet him as Maggie barked fervently inside as well.

"Are you taking Horsefly to the movies?" I asked seeing the paint.

"I paid Mrs. Sandra to take him for me," Charlie replied.

Mrs. Sandra was my mother's best friend and she is getting my car when my father finally hands over the keys to mom's car which he says will be soon.

"Hey, Mr. Charles!" I loudly said smiling as he laughed.

One thing about Charlie is that he trusts me unlike my father. Charlie just put all my numerous medications in a Ziploc bag and handed them to me. He didn't come inside to make sure I took them.

It also makes me realize that I take a shit load of medications when you look at the bag. I didn't realize it, but I take five Klonopin every day. No wonder I get withdrawal symptoms when I don't get them in a timely manner every afternoon or evening.

"I just got a ticket driving Erin's car for having an expired tag," Charlie told me with a frown before he drove off. "I went over and got your daddy's car."

That explained why Charlie was in my father's Honda.

Werewolves of London...

I wonder if Warren Zevon was inspired by a full moon when he wrote that song.

It is a full moon and I could've sworn I just saw my neighbor streak past this window buck naked. hehe. I'd pay a few dollars to see that as she is kind of cute.

Dad says when it is a full moon that they can get some real crazies in the pharmacy -- pill counters, Lortab addicts, etc.

"John? You shorted me four Lortab!" is a scenario my father knows all too well.

"We counted them three times to make sure your prescription is correct," he would say with a smile and they do so just for this occasion..

Surely, if the moon can move vast oceans via the tides, it can effect the cranial and spinal fluid in our brains and bodies.

Sustenance...

Earlier, Charlie dropped by my KFC pot pie with two cookies this time. My father took the grand-kids to the local Japanese steakhouse so Charlie was flying solo. Dad had called me earlier in the afternoon to come and take my medications. That was really nice. This post is partially fueled by Klonopin and Coreg, and maybe a little risperidone as well.

Charlie had paint all over him again. He excitably told me that he was having new kitchen counters and cabinets installed tomorrow. Charlie lives for this kind of stuff. You should see Charlie's house that resides near my father's house. It is just jammed full of beautiful furniture and posh surroundings. It is kind of his showcase house.

Chomping at the Bit!

I am hoping my father will drive with me to the WOW! office to change my cable and internet. He will not call them on the phone for some crazy reason. The plan I want is $79.99 and that includes 500 Mbps internet and the "small" cable package. I am currently paying $160 bucks a month or so my father says. I honestly don't know what we are paying for as my internet is only 30 Mbps. It must be all the high definition channels I get that I do not watch.

Two Big Biscuits in My Belly...

It was so good to see Charlie pull up to the curb this morning. Maggie alerted me that Charlie was here and I hurried to open the front door.

"I have paint all over me this morning," Charlie said as I surveyed his clothing. "I couldn't sleep so I put myself to good use. Also, this time change shit is for the birds."

Charlie is feverishly trying to hurry along the move to his new house.

I told Charlie ecstatically how much Maggie and I enjoy our Sunday breakfasts. I was just ravishingly hungry this morning and I am tired of pimento cheese sandwiches (blasphemy!) and frosted flakes cereal. I bought too much of both.

"What do you want for your KFC supper tonight?" Charlie then asked me.

"The pot pie $5 dollar fill-up," I told him.

"And a chocolate chip cookie?" Charlie asked smiling.

"Yes, please! I like the cookies," I replied.

"You'll probably get your daddy's and mine as well," Charlie told me.

Charlie stepped inside for a moment to see Maggie until he said he had to leave before Horsefly's biscuit got cold. There's always a place for Beta dog in our extended family.

Hairstyles By Charlie...

Charlie stopped by last night and gave me a really good haircut. He's been cutting Horsefly's hair for over forty years and has mastered this craft.

"I just got finished cutting Horsefly's hair so I thought I would come over and do you next," Charlie told me.

I thanked him graciously as he lay an old sheet on my kitchen floor to catch any errant hair. I needed a haircut badly and my hair has grown to be unruly. I've been hiding it under all the assorted baseball caps I own.

"Your father is on the way with your medications," Charlie told me as he snipped away. "He should be here any minute."

Charlie uses some of those Wahl hair clippers to trim my hair and finishes with some barber's shears on the delicate parts. Afterward, he shampooed my hair in the sink under some wonderfully warm water. When Charlie does this, I consider it so luxurious as it feels so good as he massages the shampoo into my hair.

Dad showed up at nine and was in a terribly foul mood. He's had to go to a seminar this week and has also had to work all week as well. He snapped at me a few times and I snapped back in defense holding my own.

"I am at my wits end tonight," he told me as he handed me my medications. "I just want to go be with my pussy and go to bed."

I didn't dare tell him my air conditioning has quit working tonight for fears of pushing him over the edge. I will just call tomorrow and make arrangements to get it fixed. 

Could Someone Come and Revive Me As Well?

Papa was exceptionally late tonight for the medication ritual. Maggie had grown tired of looking out of the window and curled up in the recliner since I was in the computer room.

Oh, I had an eye out for my father. I was on my seldom used computer in the corner of the computer room. I had an eagle's eye view of the main road and the street leading to my house to see when he pulled up.

Finally, a set of car lights pulled up to the curb and I hollered to Maggie that Papa was here. She squealed with glee and got so excited. She didn't see him yesterday. That's the only real drawback to me getting my medications in the afternoon is that Maggie doesn't get to see Papa. She now sees him only on the two days he works.

"I had CPR training after the store closed," my father said stepping through the threshold of my home. "Sorry I am so late."

A call would be nice, dontcha think?

Dad also had on his agenda to change the air filter of my heating and cooling unit. Charlie bought it and gave it to him. He put in the new filter in and then couldn't get the air grate to close.

"Well, goddamn," he muttered frustrated and tired as he stood up looking perplexed.

"Let me do it," I told him. "I am good at this kind of stuff."

It took me a second, but I had the grate back on and clasped.

"Well shit, you made that look easy," he told me patting me on the back.

"We are going to have soup and cornbread tomorrow afternoon and you can take your crazy meds as you call them," my father told me as he was leaving.

I wrung my hands in anticipation and told him I loved him and goodnight.